Movie Review: Don’t bother to “Open Your Eyes.” Why spoil a good nap?

In this busy, rushed, multi-tasking world we live in, who has time for a movie that will not get to the point, a point, ANY point?

So it is with “Open Your Eyes,” the latest film to use that well-worn title — latest, last and least among them.

It’s a movie about a screenwriter, and as many learned long before writer-director Greg A. Sager ever spit-polished a lens, there’s nothing more suspenseful and exciting than watching someone tap tap tap away at a keyboard, writing another of his “low budget B-horror movies without any discernible stars,” as Jason (Ry Barrett) eventually tells his neighbor Lisa (Joanna Saul).

We’re grateful they’re having a conversation, because the movie’s first half is mostly just Jason writing, hearing noises, seeing this oozing, crack walking down his wall and trying to lure a cat out of the ventilation ducts. The first eight minutes have no talking at all, and the odd “Jason, you a–h–e” over some screen writing blunder isn’t much improvement.

The dialogue, once there are two characters to share it?

“Hey.” “Hey.” You are home.” “I am.” “I was knocking…” “Hence, I answered.”

It doesn’t make a sharp turn to screwball, scintillating or Shakespeare. Sinister synthesizer music underscores just about everything.

Something is eating at Jason, and we’ve seen him shrink wrap a rug he’s rolled something — Someone? — up in the first scenes. What’s he not giving away? What’s his secret?

Lisa seems to both attract and trigger him. Who or what is she? A normal filmmaker would start to reveal some answers, but Sager’s a “Why give ANYthing away?” sort. For over an hour.

That big revelation is a slow-fizzle, too. And without any “action” or compelling performances or any interesting thing at all — near kitchen accidents don’t count — what remains is a coma-inducing-dull “low budget B-horror movie without any discernible stars.”

MPA Rating: unrated, profanity

Cast: Ry Barrett, Joanna Saul

Credits: Scripted and directed by Greg A, Sager. A Gravitas release.

Running time: 1:40

About Roger Moore

Movie Critic, formerly with McClatchy-Tribune News Service, Orlando Sentinel, published in Spin Magazine, The World and now published here, Orlando Magazine, Autoweek Magazine
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