Movie Review: Crude and kinky? “Call Me Brother”

There are those for whom “Borat 2” was too subtle, that it didn’t have enough bodily function or inappropriate sexual “chemistry” jokes.

Have I got a movie for you.

“Call Me Brother” is a raunchy, screwball stoner farce about teen siblings fighting that urge to be more like “kissing cousins,” and not willing to stop as “kissing.”

Houston native Christina Parrish wrote and co-stars in this quasi-queasy comedy about incest. Because that’s the gag that hangs over every goofy moment Lisa (Parrish) is back in the company, bedroom and bathtub of brother Tony (“Saturday Night Live” writer and actor Andrew Dismukes).

Their Texas parents split a decade before, with Lisa sent to live with her selfish harridan of a mother (Kim Lowery) and Tony growing up with his unfiltered Dad (Asaf Ronen). Now Mom’s off on vacation, and Lisa’s sent to stay with Dad and Dad’s new gal, Doris (Danu Uribe).

Lisa won’t mind sleeping in Tony’s room will she? I mean, he’s the “roomie you can never have sex with,” so no worries, right?

“Call Me Brother” chases these two childish teens — she’s 17, he’s a year older — as they bike, tickle-fight, play on the monkey bars and even romp in the tub, just like their childhood.

Flashbacks show us their tight connection back then, parents bickering in the background, tuning them out with play, cooking and sibling bonding.

But now, Tony’s in the habit of doing something that makes his future step-mom joke about “I clean your sheets.” He hangs with other sex-obsessed dorks over at Brian’s (Nick Saverino), who all want to know about “that hottie glazed in a sweet layer of polyester and insecurity.”

That would be Lisa, young enough to get upset at her brother killing chickens on his old school (block graphics) video game, who seems naive enough to not get the knack of the pot-smoking banter at parties or master the “just kidding” punchline Dad has with his dinner table tampon and menstruation jokes.

Bike rides and parties, it’s a carefree summer for the long-separated siblings, prancing about in slo-mo — so that Tony’s obsession with Lisa’s panties can be captured on camera.

It’s scripted as something of a tease, although things come to something of a head (Sorry!) at a big party that is like a gross, no-budget parody of every such scene in every teenage sex comedy to come before it.

Some of the shock-value banter is close to funny, and the sibling relationship bits are cutesie/goofy, and somewhat disarming even if the leads do look like real siblings.

Maybe it’s the fact that the “kids” all look closer to 30 that defuses that.

There’s not much to this other than the “let’s make a teen rom-com about incest” hook. But if they figured that would at least get “Call Me Brother” noticed, they seem to have miscalculated. No major distributor would touch it, so heaven knows what content they edited out in their “festival” cut of the film.

This kinky “SNL” incest sketch-run-amok used to be 30 minutes longer. Ick.

MPA Rating: unrated, crude sexual content, drug abuse, profanity

Cast: Christina Parrish, Andrew Dismukes, Asaf Ronen, Danu Uribe, Kim Lowery, Nick Saverino

Credits: Diorected by David Howe, script by Christina Parrish. A Leomark release.

Running time: 1:17

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