Weekend movies — Reviewers swoon for “Wonder Woman,” tidy whitey thumbs-up for “Captain Underpants”

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I was lukewarm on “Wonder Woman,” a bit bored by the plot and effects. We’re all root-root-rooting for Warners and DC to make a game of it with Disney’s Marvel juggernaut, and but come on.

Got to Rotten Tomatoes. It’s like “Citizen Kane” inspired a sequel, by their metrics.

I watch the commercials for “Wonder Woman,” see all the blurbs — TV tossers, for the most part. Who are these swooners taking the vapors over a blessedly feminist but just fun enough and somewhat yawn-worthy formula comic book pic? Check out metacritic. A definite distaff bias — women reviewers, bless them, are fangirling the hell out of “their” movie. Along  with their head cheerleader, Stevie “Nicks” Persall.

Good for them. There are biases in the “ratings” for such middling fare as “Alien: Covenant,” nerds who grade movies in “their” genre on the curve. So female critics rave up Diana of the Amazons. Hope it makes a billion. It earned $11 million Thursday night alone, on its way to nearly $90 million.

Yeah, she’s clobbering Johnny Depp. Just pretend the assemble the motley military “team” material is like “Captain America” without any casting flair, and that you’ve never seen that lame “super bomber” finale before. Pretend real hard and Tinkerbelle won’t die.

“Captain Underpants” had Dreamworks/Fox’s panties in a bunch, a ridiculous after-it-opens embargo on reviews (That’s called “embargo abuse,” kids.). Why show it a week in advance if you’re scared of critics?

Nothing to sweat, decent to better-than-decent reviews dominate.

Little else is opening against these two big boys (big boy, big girl), but “Band Aid” is worth tracking down — rom-com about a feuding married couple who work out their beefs in song, and  “Aaron’s Blood” and “Vincent N Roxxy,” which I panned.

“Captain Underpants,” not being a franchise picture, will be lucky to clear $30, according to Box Office Mojo. 

Box Office Guru is lowballing the only cartoon in theaters (“Boss Baby” is losing its screens), predicting $24 million. I figure $40 is within reach.

The Guru is saying “Wonder Woman” is headed towards $103 million, vs. the Mojo’s $89. I’m guessing it’ll be in between.

 

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