Box Office: “Pirates” fatigue sets in, “Baywatch” drowns

Jack

You read it here, first. There will NOT be another “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie. There’s a project listed on IMdb, supposedly Johnny Depp is on board. But “Dead Men Tell No Tales” should be the finish line or the 14 year long franchise.

As I said in my review, they summoned up just enough wit, heart and action to make this film their finale. Keira and Orlando make brief returns for a curtain call (Whoops, spoiler alert). And that’s that. Or should.

Disney will be satisfied with the worldwide ($250) opening numbers, but the US opening –– on Memorial Day weekend — is a well less than most of the franchise’s marks — about $60 million. Good, not “Let’s do this forever” good. Global will ensure this pricey picture finishes in the black. But it’s done, it’s time. Wake up and smell the rum, mateys.

Similarly, Ridley Scott and Fox have to stop milking the “Alien” cow. “Covenant” opened in the low end of expectations, and on its second weekend, just fell off the table. A nearly 70% “Tyler Perry Movie Second Weekend Plunge.” Ouch. I was in the reviewing  minority expressing zero shock, surprise or thrills at this rinse/wash/repeat bore. But audiences were with me. Done. No mas. Make something else your grand finale as a director, Sir Ridley.

“Baywatch” isn’t bombing, but it’s not blowing anybody out of the water, either. The reviews are drowning it, I dare say. Here’s one that could have been helped had critics thought it was a fun send up of a bad, jiggly TV show. It’s not funny, it’s violent and they got the tone wrong. They didn’t spend the money on the swimsuit side of the casting, and nobody wants to see it. $26 million over the weekend. Not awful, but bad.

That darned “Boss Baby” has one more weekend in the Top Ten, and will finish, as I have been predicting, in the $175 range. “Fate of the Furious” is still making money, another franchise that has run its course and then some. But there’s still money in that one.

 

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