“The Yeti” is a low-budget creature-feature that’s terrible on pretty much every level.

Badly scripted, wootacting, dreadful effects that have that cast brushing fake snowflakes out of their hair and lit like a teenager’s in-mom’s-closet podcast, it’s an abominable waste of 93 minutes for anyone not related to the cast and crew watching it.

I mean, OY.

Writer-directors Gene Gallerano and William Pisciotta try to pull a period piece splatter pic out of their Yeti in Alaska tale and fail on pretty much every level.

Characters skulk about in the perpetual murk of a not-so-special effects blizzard, never for a minute acting A) scared, B) cold or C) determined to get through whatever it is they’ve signed on for.

It’s 1947, and the crappiest imitation of a 1940s newsreel tells us that a famous oilman (Corbin Bernson) and famous explorer (William Sadler) have disappeared after their “ship” sends out a last, futile “MAYDAY.”

Merrill Sunday, Jr. (Eric Nelsen), the son of oilman Merrill Sunday Sr., announces he’s rounded up a team to go to their rescue. He’s got a hunter/man of violence with half a face (Linc Hand), “Dynamite” Hewitt (played by co-writer/director Gellerano), a famed radio combat journalist (Jim Cummings) and the great cartographer/daughter of explorer Hollis Bannister, Ellie (Brittany Allen).

They get themselves lost, cut-off and attacked by some beast in the dark. Because it’s always dark.

“Dynamite,” who claims to have “blowed up jus’ about ever-thin’ that can be blowed up,” sets off some dynamite, the Great White Hunter gets hunted and our cartographer and oil heir fret over their collective daddy issues. And that’s me making the narrative make more sense and play as more interesting than this blundering fiasco can manage on its own.

Those growls in the windy dark?

“Grizzly, maybe. Big one.” Ya think?

I was at a loss to figure out what has gone wrong, what is going wrong and how what they’re doing — setting off dynamite, for instance — is supposed to get them out of this fix and back on task. I remained at a loss throughout this tale of hunters being (dully) hunted, climbing a radio tower and contacting a “ship” as if this was on Kodiak Island or some such and a nautical rescue is possible.

There’s a prologue featuring a collection of very modern looking and sounding folks listening to early ’30s jazz on the 1920s Victrola and playing cards in a snowbound hut in “1047,” only to be interrupted by a beast that snatches one of them through a flimsy Alaska roof. No, it doesn’t tie into the main story. It just tips us off as to what we’re in for.

We know the would-be rescuers are going to figure out what the adventurer and the oil man were up to, either through flashbacks or reconnecting with the biggest names in the cast as the missing persons are eventually no longer missing. And somebody’s got to survive for that reconnection.

But I’ll leave all that as a possible source of suspense for anyone foolish enough to VOD this DOG.

Rating: R, graphic, bloody dismemberments

Cast: Brittany Allen, Elizabeth Cappucino, Gene Gallerano, Christina Bennett Lind, Eric Nelsen, Linc Hand, Jim Cummings, William Sadler and Corbin Bernson.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Gene Gallerano and William Pisciotta. A Well Go USA release.

Running time: 1:33