My stars and garters, what manner of Z-movie mayhem is this?
A little nacho cheese from the makeup maestro turned director of “Leprechaun Returns,” complete with all the digestive tract burps and toots that label entails, “Psycho Goreman” looks and sounds like it was cooked up by people the age of its stars.
It’s a tween’s sci-fi/fantasy/horror mashup, with monsters, beheadings, made-up games, sibling bullying, magical orbs and talking back to your parents.
Gory and a tad psycho? Truth in advertising!
And even if it sags in the middle like your Dad once he hit 50, it’s still cheerful enough to come off, or come close enough.
Siblings Mimi and Luke go at it, hammer and tong, in their muddy suburban back yard every night. The game is “crazy ball,” a “dodgeball” variation with a lot of creative enhancements.
That’s how Luke (Owen Myre) ends up digging that hole as punishment. That Mimi (Nita-Josee Hanna) is a tiny terror, with her foot on his neck and quite the mouth on her as well.
“Check the TAPE,” she bellows at her intimidated parents (Alexis Kara Hancey, Adam Brooks). “Luke SUCKS!”
She pushes around Luke’s BFF Alastair (Scout Flint) as well — treats him like a USDA Grade A slice of meat, too.
“Why don’t you give us a little ‘hunky boy’ spin?”
The hole is where they find this giant amulet thing with a glowing gem in its center.
“Is that a coffin? Is THIS where they buried Grandma?”
No, that’s a charm that’s kept “a nameless evil” whose escape would mean “doom for all existence.” And you know kids. They let him out.
When he emerges, in all his giant-sized Satanic Demon glory, he doubles down on that “nameless” thing, as “No name can encompass my Dark Will!”
He says stuff like that, and “Is that fear I smell?” Prepare for “the sweet release of death!” He kills and destroys at will, but that doesn’t phase Mimi.
“SHUT it!” She proceeds to name him Psycho Goreman, PG for short. And as she has that “Gem of Proxidite” thing that they used to unleash him, PG (Matthew Ninaber) has to take it.
Those who imprisoned PG, The Templars, have to send Pandora Warrior Princess (Kristen MacCulloch) to fetch him. PG summons his “Palladins” to defend himself, and take care of the “two brainless meat children” so that he can be truly free.
Can Mimi keep him in line, keep the peace and keep “all the hunky boys” out of PG’s clutches?
“I do not care for Hunky Boys!”
“PG” sprints out of the gate with childish whimsy, goofy dialogue and spectacularly inventive monster costumes. PG has a hint of The Creature from the Black Lagoon about him, Pandora’s made up like the God George Lucas’s Storm Troopers would worship, or have pin-ups of in the barracks.
There’s one creature that looks like a glass windowed pressure cooker that Oscar the Gory Grouch lives in (We see blood and entrails bubbling out the top, and through that window.).
The acting is deadpan passable. The jokes are childish — little kids making an “existence” ending monster play “Knock, Knock,” the monster taking out his frustration by only introducing one of the “two brainless meat children” to his minions.
“This is Mimi….and her brother.”
Yes, it gets gassed about a half hour in, with things not picking up much until the Big Finale.
But those who like this sort of thing — horror played for laughs, a cult-movie by design — will surely find this the sort of thing they like.
MPA Rating: unrated, profanity and uh, gore
Cast: Nita-Josee Hanna, Owen Myre, Matthew Ninaber, Kristen MacCulloch and Adam Brooks
Credits: Directed by Steven Kostanski, script by An RLJE release.
Running time: 1:35