Let’s keep this short, right?
If you’re over the age of five, and you’re not taking someone UNDER the age of five to see “My Little Pony: The Movie,” you’re in the wrong theater
Unless you’re a “Brony,” so let’s no do anything that gets moms to go call the manager, eh?
It doesn’t matter that “My Little Pont: The Movie,” like the TV series it spun from, is insipid pap. It’s not for you. Any more than the toys that inspired it all.
It doesn’t matter that only one character is credited with the voice of Broadway pixie Kristen Chenoweth. ALL the ponies sound like Kristen Chenoweth, even the ones voiced by the likes of Emily Blunt. And there’s a hint of Chenoweth in Liev Schreiber, Sia and Michael Pena’s voice performances, too.
That’s what happens with Pony-exposure in Equitania, where gravity and physics and character development and the rules of story don’t apply, when you’re reading lines like “Everybody’s happiness is resting in your hooves!”
Or when you’re singing “We got this, you got this, We’ve got this TOGETHER” to any problem — even the assault of the Storm King and his minions. Who want that Pony magic, man.
Because everybody’s a princess and everybody already has “all the magic you need.”
The animators? They could have used more magic to smooth out the movement, add shadings and depth of field to their flat, gummy-bear colored poppycock. It’s garishly, mechanically drawn and colored, barely up to “animated quickie” big-screen fare.
Back to direct-to-video with you, Princess Unicorny or whatever your name is. Small children won’t mind your shortcomings. Anybody older than a tiny child endorsing this? Come on, now./
MPAA Rating: PG for mild action
Cast: The voices of Emily Blunt, Kristen Chenoweth, Zoe Saldana, Taye Diggs, Sia, Michael Pena, Liev Schreiber
Credits:Directed by Jayson Thiessen, script by Meghan McCarthy, Rita Hsiao and Michael Vogel, based on the TV series. A Lionsgate release.
Running time: 1:39