Whatever the failings of the Polish monster thriller, “Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight,” it’s sequel plunges straight into a goof — an amusingly-gory slice of oscypek or twaróg, the delicacies of the Polish cheese shop.
And then, just as we’re getting a giggle out of the broad characters and ditzy disembowelings, it goes all “Walking Dead,” with monsters who have a “point of view.” The jokes wither as the story goes gooey, touchy and feely. The picture stops dead in its tracks and twaróg goes rancid on the shelf.
“Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight 2” picks up the story the day after the night of the “cabin in the woods” slaughter of the innocents. Incel cop Adam (Mateusz Wieclawek) shows up at his dilapidated rural station where two carbuncled-monsters, creatures created by an oozing meteorite the night before, are locked up.
Zosia (Julia Wieniawa-Narkiewicz), sole survivor of the massacre, is locked up next door.
Not to worry, the gruff sergeant (Andrzej Grabowski) assures the kid. “Special Forces” are coming down from Warsaw. Eventually.
Inexplicably, the Sgt. then takes the shackled survivor to the scene of the “crime.” Inevitably, the Sgt. takes an outhouse break from getting Zosia to walk him through the night’s killings. The meteor oozes some more and the slaughter begins anew.
Adam, who dreams of being a swaggering gunslinger who saves fair Wanessa (Zofia Wichlacz) in his dreams, now faces his cowardice as fellow cop Wanessa rashly sets out to kill their sergeant’s killer and he’s all about “waiting for (backup) Special Forces.”
“We’re the police, aren’t we?” shames him into joining her for an ill-fated night of teaming up with the Polish Proud Boy volunteer “Territorial Guard,” and the folks who run the survivalist Camp Adrenalin.
The cast is game enough, until most of them are buried, or buried under boil-covered prosthetics (the “metamorphosis” scenes are a cool effect).
But we know how all that will turn out.
Director and co-writer Bartosz M. Kowalski sets out to trip up expectations. But he gets so caught up in that he neglects to make any of the gruesome deaths suspenseful or meaningful. Characters are introduced and die — by accident or monstrous heart-snatching — in the most pathetically perfunctory ways. It’s as if he’s gotten the go-ahead for “a franchise,” and is cashing the checks without bothering to concentrate on the film at hand.
This has flashes of “Tucker & Dale vs. Evil” and a few other comically-gory creature features. But Kowlaski loses the thread. Considering the ways the popular-enough-for-kids-watching-Netflix original film went wrong, no one should be surprised at that.
Rating: TV-MA, gross gory and graphic violence, monstrous sex, lots of profanity
Cast: Mateusz Wieclawek, Zofia Wichlacz, Julia Wieniawa-Narkiewicz, Andrzej Grabowski, with Sebastian Stankiewicz, Robert Wabich, Izabela Dabrowska, Wojciech Mecwaldowski and Lech Dyblik
Credits: Directed by Bartosz M. Kowalski, scripted by Mirella Zaradkiewicz and
Bartosz M. Kowalski. A Netflix release
Running time: 1:37