“Results” is a random, generally pointless romantic comedy set in the world of personal trainers.
We have Trevor (Guy Pearce), the Aussie building his dream “Power 4 Life” gym in Austin, Texas, exercising compulsively, with only his big galoot of a dog for company.
Kat (Cobie Smulders) is one of his best trainers, but intense — wrapped-too-tight, just as compulsive about running, lifting, etc. Only she’s inclined to tear into clients who “quit” on her. Maybe she and Trevor could have a “thing,” if only she didn’t have that temper. Got to love her training regimen, though.
“Imagine there’s a wall right behind you, and you’re trying to knock it down with your butt!”
Into this world comes pasty, balding and doughy Danny (Kevin Corrigan). His wife just dumped him, and he’s suddenly come into money. So. Train him.
“I want to be able to take a punch.”
Something about Kat — her temper, the fact she’s played with the willowy knockout Ms. Smulders –– gets to Danny. But there’ll be no rich guy courting his trainer here, thank you. Money or no money, Kat won’t have it. And Trevor seems to take that attempt a tad too personally, as well.
Actor turned writer-director Andrew Bujalski has some promising angles he could have pursued. Trevor’s idol is a Russian kettle bell trainer living and running gyms and selling his own line of equipment. The joke is that he’s played by Anthony Michael Hall and Grigory runs his empire from… West Texas. Brooklyn Decker plays his adoring wife.
Giovanni Ribisi is a lawyer rich-Danny meets and hires in a dumpy bar. Ribisi usually makes such sleaze funnier.
A sharper comedy would have played around with the addictive nature of exercise, the roid rage that Kat seems to suffer from with no other evidence that she takes steroids. There’s little contrast between the unhappy six-packers with the equally miserable “pudgy and mellow” Danny.
So as nice as it is to see Smulders get offered something other than a S.H.I.E.L.D. jumpsuit in the “Avengers” movies after “How I Met Your Mother,” as interesting as Pearce and Corrigan usually are, “Results” is a comedy that never offers more than unsatisfactory ones — results, I mean.

MPAA Rating: R for language, some sexual content and drug use

Cast: Cobie Smulders, Guy Pearce, Kevin Corrigan
Credits: Written and directed by Andrew Bujalski. A Magnolia release.

Running time: 1:45