Last movie weekend of summer — or first weekend of fall? Either way, it’s a bust.

light1“The Light Between Oceans” feels like a fall movie. It’s a sad romance, a period piece, a Michael Fassbender film with no funny costumes or comic book plot.

It’s lush and lovely, but a bit limp, like a well-written Nicholas Sparks novel filmed by an artist.  The director of “Blue Valentine” did it.

And it’s earning mixed reviews, a somber send off to a less than stellar summer. Or, if you prefer, a funereal fumble into fall.

I was re-watching “The Danish Girl” the other night, and couldn’t get over how much more adult Alicia Vikander came off in that one. Here, she’s more of a coquette, which makes her look entirely too impish and young for Fassbender.

“Morgan” is another “We’ve made a monster-person in the lab” thriller, with Kate Mara and Tobey Jones trying to put the genie back in the bottle. Poor reviews for that one. We’ve had two decent horror movies this summer, thank you. That’s all we’re entitled to.

Anything else opening wide? Well, Kevin Smith is still around, long after the era when he was “a thing.” “Yoga Hosers” is getting skewered for its amateurism, the fact that Smith put his daughter (and Johnny Depp’s kid) into a movie, despite a talent deficiency that suggested maybe bit parts were all they were up to.

Sometime, decades ago, somebody told Smith, “Don’t ever change, man.” And there you go.


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