Movie Review: Jewish Vampire goes all “Oy vey!” when he and a teen become “Blood Relatives”

In the indie vampire thrilleramedy “Blood Relatives,” the anti hero travels the blue highways of America in a Fire Blue ’69 Barracuda, mutters in Yiddish and is tracked down by a teen who might be his daughter.

“I need to keep a LOW PROFILE!!”

“In your exotic cartoon muscle car that you drive around country all night?”


I feel…seen, and on soooo many levels.

Writer, director and star Noah Segan (he was a traffic cop in “Knives Out”) has made a generally witty and novel vampire movie, a genre I had pretty much given up on. His original twist — vampire as kvetching and kvelling car-nut Jewish dad.

The stranger in the black leather jacket only drives at night. He has a car cover he encases the ‘Cuda in if he’s trapped outside in the treeless, housing- free middle of nowhere when the sun comes up. That happens a lot, we gather. Because like any vintage Chrysler/Plymouth/Dodge product, that muscle car goes through the Mopar (parts).

But somewhere in the middle of BFE, Texas, this teenager (Victoria Moroles of TV’s “Teen Wolf”) we’ve seen stalking him in her hoodie and backpack catches up to “Francis.” Remember, he’s a very old guy in a 1950s punk guise — “You look like you dressed as Fonzie for Halloween…every day.”

What’s a Son of the Borscht Belt supposed to say to that?

“Nice Jewish boy,” that Fonzie.

Sixteen year-old “Jane” recites his rare-ish car’s specs, and he wonders “How do you KNOW that?”

“The Internet.”

“How did you FIND me?”

“The Internet.”

Ageless vampire doesn’t know from Internets, so he’ll have to take her word for it.

Her mother died. She told her daughter who her daddy was, what he drives. And between her own peculiar response to sunlight and blood and observations of the father figure she’s been stalking, Jane figured out the rest.

So, father and daughter do the vampire lifestyle, wandering and hunting and teaching her the ropes on America’s Blue Highways, with her always getting asked “You OK?” by strangers who wonder what this girl is doing with this 30something greaser in a Barracuda? Or will they move to a small town under assumed names, enroll her in school and join a single parent support group?

Which do you think is potentially funnier?

The energy flags in this lighthearted dark romp, but that happens in comedies that live and die on their snappy, shticky banter. “Blood Relatives” is still shticky enough — and sticky enough — to deliver laughs with bite.

Rating: unrated, violence, a bit of blood, adult humor

Cast: Victoria Moroles, Noah Segan

Credits: Scripted and directed by Noah Segan. A Shudder release.

Running time: 1:27


About Roger Moore

Movie Critic, formerly with McClatchy-Tribune News Service, Orlando Sentinel, published in Spin Magazine, The World and now published here, Orlando Magazine, Autoweek Magazine
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