Movie Review: “Ted 2”

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The acquired taste that is Seth MacFarlane is harder to acquire and the one joke in his one-joke comedy about the pot-smoking/potty-mouthed teddy bear wears thin in the endless two hours of “Ted 2.”
Really, if you’ve seen one f-bomb dropping child’s toy take a bong hit, you’ve seen them all.
“Ted 2” finds Ted and his new bride Tami-Lynne (Jessica Barth) trying to save their crumbling marriage the old-fashioned way — by having a kid.
“It’ll teach us how to love each other again!”
Ted’s doing his working class belly-aching to Tami-Lynne in his wife-beater T-shirt and low-class Boston accent, she’s giving as good as she gets. Stuff gets thrown. A kid’ll fix that.
But that opens a whole can of worms about their fertility, with sperm bank gags. And their marital status and Ted’s legal status as a doll that’s come to life are on the table, too. Is he a “thing,” or a person?
Most of the movie is about Ted trying to prove the latter, with the aid of a child-lawyer (Amanda Seyfried) who’s a bit fond of the weed herself. The trial is a non-starter that starts early and goes on for way too much of the movie. Not funny, not moving or profound, either, no matter how much Ted (the voice of MacFarlane) gripes that they’re treating him “just like the homos.”
Several few laughs land, but they’re scattered. The pacing is leaden. MacFarlane’s yen for song and dance gets a workout — a pointlessly elaborate opening number, Ted and a chorus line dancing around a giant cake — MacFarlane’s Ted breaks into song at random points in the picture, Seyfried (“Mamma Mia!”) sings by a campfire and arch-villain Donny (Giovanni Ribisi) covers a little Neil Diamond.
Yeah, Mark Wahlberg is back as Ted’s best bud, Johnny, the one who wished Ted to life as a kid. Tom Brady has a cameo, Patrick Warburton, Dennis Haysbert and Morgan Freeman show up.
Best bit — Ted visiting New York’s Comic Con, a convention where Warburton’s “Guy” gets to dress up as Warburton’s super hero character The Tick. Guy has a new boyfriend who dresses up as Mr. Worf from “Star Trek: The Next Generation.” The new boyfriend is Michael Dorn who played Worf. Hilarious.
Stoner comedies aren’t for everyone. But with marijuana gaining legal footing in more states, the sky seems to be the limit for movies that pander to that audience. Can “Ted 3” and a serious attack of the munchies be in the cards in our future? The mind reels.

MPAA Rating: R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, and some drug use

Cast: The voice of Seth MacFarlane, Mark Wahlberg, Amanda Seyfried, Jessica Barth, Morgan Freeman, Giovanni Ribisi, Patrick Warburton
Credits: Directed by Seth MacFarlane, script by Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild. A Universal release.

Running time: 1:55

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1 Response to Movie Review: “Ted 2”

  1. b626 says:

    The soapbox preachiness of Ted 2 left me checking my watch way too often. Wait till it comes out on DVD. Utilize your fast forward button. Skip thru ALL scenes that take place in an office or courtroom. You will be rewarded with a hilarious 45 minutes of your time.

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