A couple of sketchy “refurbished” cell phones gives a couple of British tweens the ability to take calls from the future in “Future TX,” a dreadfully chatty, incessantly-explaining 90 minutes of nonsense from the U.K.
They make D-movies for kids in Dorset? Who knew?
It’s a film of limited but effective-enough visual effects, “canned” sound effects, over-hyped action that’s nothing to write home about and a lot of monologues from a phone voice from the near future detailing how, since “physical time travel” has been proven “not feasible,” the best way to communicate a future threat to the past is...wait for it...VOICE mail.
So if you check your in-box and hear, say, a processed, mechanical male who sounds like Number One from “The Prisoner,” warning about a “bot net” threat in the making, that Brexit was a Russian-backed scam and to stop voting Tory to save the future, it just might be that.
Arran Kemp and Adele Congreve play two besties about to be busted-up because Dylan’s American dad (Doug Cockle, and we see why you moved to Britain, mate) is moving the family to Dubai. He lets the kid go and gives the kid the cash for a couple of cell phones as a way of making it up to him.
One is for Dylan, the other for Molly. But the sketchy phones come from a sketchy “no refunds” guy who doesn’t bother to explain the lava-lamp node on the back of each phone, or warn them about the calls they’re about to get.
Those calls order them to “save the world/save the future” by going to this or that set of “coordinates,” conning some tinfoil-hat-type (Griff Rhys Jones) out of his computer and smothering this bot net thingy in its crib.
The locations are generic, even by British suburbia standards. The villain (Rhys Jones again) wouldn’t scare anyone. The action beats are limp. The kiddie “work the problem” steps to accomplishing their mission forgettable and the addition of a dull smart aleck sidekick in a wheelchair (James Grogan) adds nothing but a bit of inclusion in a movie whose real problems are that inane, insipid screenplay by paired writers and directors Tim Clague and Danny Stack.
So, no “Well done” for you two.
Rating: unrated, squeaky clean
Cast: Adele Congreve, Arran Kemp, James Grogan, Catriona Knox, Doug Cockle, Nicole Farady and Griff Rhys Jones
Credits: Scripted and directed by Tim Clague and Danny Stack. A Level 33 release.
Running time: 1:28