Book Review: Jackie Chan’s rule to live by? “Never Grow Up”

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Like most early but not “earliest” adapters — I found Jackie Chan’s action comedies at the insistence of friends into Asian cinema.

A top tier stunt man, martial artist and Keaton-esque clown, it took a while, a few tries and then some, for him to break out in the West. But once he did, Asia’s biggest action star became the world’s darling, an impish dynamo who wore his working class roots with pride, and never palmed off a stunt on others he wasn’t gutsy enough to do himself.

The outtakes at the end of every Jackie Chan movie showed just how often those stunts could go wrong.

He lists the major injuries he’s suffered to every part of his body in “Never Grow Up,” his second autobiography (the first was “My Life in Action.). From his back to his neck, cheekbones to teeth and all points in between, Jackie Chan has broken, wrenched, concussed and dislocated them all.

The new book is an “as told to” autobiography, built around his decades of anecdotes, the mealtime/drinks-after-work conversations he has with his large entourage and overheard by his longtime publicist, Zhu Mo.

So “Never Grow Up” isn’t a researched and verified biography, but more a “How I remembered it/What I learned in life” recounting of his upbringing, his harsh martial arts schooling, rough and tumble crawl to stardom and how he used and misused that stardom over the decades.

The former Chan Kong-Sang is 65 now, sanguine about his shortcomings and forthcoming in ways aimed at a “Learn from my mistakes, kids” narrative.

I’ve interviewed him several times over the years, and always found him to be a star seeking to come off humble, but prone to bragging (with cause), relentlessly cheerful but not shy about the hard life and hard falls he took to get where he is.

Not bitter, but still a guy with a bit of a chip on his shoulder, which he freely admits in this new autobiography.

“Never Grow Up” has him questioning, again, his lack of enthusiasm for elementary school, which landed him in a martial arts/acting-tumbling China Drama Academy for ten years.

He was functionally illiterate for much of his life, and even now says he freezes up at autograph sessions in China (tougher write than English).

He was scared to death at many of the stunts he and his team cooked up for him, and once he had control of his screen projects, would put off dangerous falls and the like for days and days, working up the nerve.

He’s always loved gambling and drink, and wasn’t always the nicest guy to date, and owns up to it all freely, though one suspects he’s protesting a bit too much here.

He mistrusted his Taiwanese movie starlet wife, the mother of his son. But he was the one caught cheating.

He spent money freely, and confesses to being petty and greedy and acquisitive in the extreme for much of his life — holding grudges against shops that wouldn’t serve him when he was poor, lavishing presents on friends, family and colleagues, building schools in China with his charity foundation.

There’s a bit of star worship in reverse here and there — Stallone confessing “Whenever we run out of (action beat) ideas, we watch one of your movies,” reciting, at length, his honorary Oscar presentation (Tom Hanks honored him that afternoon).

He doesn’t name names much — avoids insulting those who treated him badly in his early years, when Hong Kong was hellbent on making this smiling joker “The New Bruce Lee.” He skims past his biggest global hits, so no fun or digging Chris Tucker or Owen Wilson anecdotes.
He befriended Stallone, visited Cameron and Spielberg on the sets of their blockbusters, but continued to do his work with lesser lights, cashing the checks as he did.

There are blurbs on the back of “Never Grow Up” with those directors and producers, and those co-stars singing his praises.

That’s where Zhu Mo’s book of “listening” to Jackie Chan shows us how it falls short. Too much of a tough life is handled with kid gloves, there’s too little about working out the stunts, etc., taking a shot at working with very young John Woo EARLY on (some of it covered in “My Life in Action”).

There are too few confirming or contradictory voices laying out the “real” Jackie Chan — insecure, driven, brave and canny (Chinese filmmakers always have to worry about how their words will play back home, and with the overlords in charge).

At least he doesn’t trot out his weariest anecdotes — the one about how he was supposed to be filming, hanging off the side of the World Trade Center as a window washer on 9/11, etc.

“Never Grow Up” (Simon & Schuster, $26) is thus a pretty good book, but more a stepping stone for a better book which somebody not quite in awe of their subject will be the one to write.

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Mendes/Spielberg WWI film “1917” underway, Glasgow is one location

An all star cast featuring The Best of Britain (men, anyway) — Cumberbatch, Firth and Mark Strong are among those on board for this Spielberg production directed by Bond very Sam Mendes.

Bit late to be getting in on all the Great War hooplah, but we are intrigued.

https://www.glasgowlive.co.uk/news/glasgow-news/filming-begin-spielberg-blockbuster-being-16337531

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“Bill & Ted” Day is June 9. Do you have your cake ordered?

From the “Bill & Ted 3” Twitter Feed

“Bill & Ted Day is totally two weeks from today! Hosting a public event for it? Let us know, dude. Events are currently scheduled to happen in multiple locations in the UK and US. And, no matter where you party on, join us online!”

https://t.co/B6fssFeIjE #BillandTed #BillandTedDay https://twitter.com/BillandTed3/status/1132742782320336898?s=17

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BOX OFFICE: “Aladdin” remake races to $107 Million Memorial Day Weekend opening

All that low buzz and online disinterest in a perfectly meh remake of a Disney cartoon turned out to not matter as much as “Well, what else are we taking the kids to?” “Aladdin” is flying its carpet towards $95 million plus over three days, $107 million for the entire holiday. All those low-ball predictions of $60 to $73 million are but dust in the wind.

“Booksmart” is bombing, doing a mere $8.5 million or so. “Brightburn” is also a bust, opening in the $10 million four day weekend range.

https://deadline.com/2019/05/aladdin-memorial-day-box-office-1202621906/

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Scorsese Bob Dylan Rolling Thunder Revue documentary hits Netflix in June

Scorsese knows The Stones. Scorsese knows Dylan. This new doc on BD hots the streamkng service in mid June. http://www.brooklynvegan.com/bob-dylan-rolling-thunder-revue-documentary-is-out-in-june-see-first-stills/

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Sony Classics Acquires Un Certain Regard Buddy Comedy ‘The Climb’ – Cannes

Cycling buddy comedy? That could find an American audience. https://deadline.com/2019/05/the-climb-movie-cycling-comedy-sony-classics-deal-cannes-1202622085/amp/

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Movie Review: Evil superboy deserves a better origin story than “Brightburn”

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We’re still in Kansas, Dorothy. But with “Brightburn,” we’re not in Smallville any more.

It’s a twisted take on the “Superman” origin myth, an alien baby adopted by humans in rural America, raised on “wholesome rural values,” and yet when puberty hits, he’s a monster, not an icon of “Truth, Justice and the American Way.”

How’d this happen?

OK, his parents, the Breyers (Elizabeth Banks and David Denman) swear. A lot. And Dad hits the local bar. But Mom is full of reassurances that “You’ll always be my baby boy.” Can she turn him around once all this omnipotent power has gone straight to his 12-year-old head?

It’s a Screen Gems movie. What do you think?

If Screen Gems was ever going to do the “Evil Superman” picture, it was always going to be a horror film. And yeah, it was going to be cut-rate.

“Brightburn” is a blood-spattered wallow in extra-terrestrial cruelty, a child who has it pretty good discovering he dropped to Earth in a spaceship, and thus is even more “special” than he thought. That moment he figures out his super-strength, that he can’t hurt his hand in the running lawnmower he’s just tossed two football fields away, little Brandon Breyer (Jackson A. Dunn) has his mission.

“Take the Earth.”

Brightburn, Kansas? Well a boy’s got to start somewhere.

There are parables aplenty just dangling here — low-hanging fruit for screenwriter/brothers Mark and Brian Gunn, not the only Gunns in the movie-writing business, but certainly the ones with the least to offer (“Journey 2” was their big credit).

They do nothing with the notion of entitled, indulged kids, or ADHD kids, or rural Red State values imprinted on a new Superman, who brings down destruction upon us all, or great power handed to the worst possible character to wield it.

That’s all here, but not developed.

All we’re given is instance after instance of unspeakable, gruesomely-detailed cruelty — drawn out small town murders carried out by a boy whose initials match those of his town and obsess him; a boy who can fly, shoot laser beams out of his eyes and who has no compunction about using those powers to answer every slight or perceived slight.

I guess we’re lucky he doesn’t tweet.

“Brightburn” is a generally humorless affair, with the only “laughs” given a sadistic edge, with paint-by-numbers frights and cut-and-paste “big emotional moments” that even the formidable Banks cannot make pay off.

Another horror movie about a soul-dead child who excuses monstrous behavior with “Sometimes bad things happen to people for a good reason” is nothing to to buy a ticket for.

The scares are built out of how fast the little Dickens is, the creepy mask and cape getup he comes up with, the “powers” he has. But editor-turned-director David Yarovesky doesn’t give them any juice, and can’t be bothered to make more than one of them a surprise.

It’s not hatefully bad, just inert. Botched. Dull. Pointless.

1star6

MPAA Rating: R for horror violence/bloody images, and language.

Cast: Elizabeth Banks,  David Denman, Jackson A. Dunn, Emmie Hunter and Gregory Alan Williams

Credits: Directed by David Yarovesky, script by  Brian Gunn, Mark Gunn. A Sony/Screen Gems release.

Running time: 1:31

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Movie Review: “Swinging Safari” goes for down and dirty laughs Down Under

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It’s a widely embraced truism that it’s a bloody miracle any of us who grew up in the ’70s got out alive. It was as true Down Under as it was here in the Northern Hemisphere.

It wasn’t just the banana hammocks, leisure suits, sideburns, deathtrap cars, promiscuity, booze, saccharine in our soft drinks, saccharine pop music, drugs and disco that menaced us.

“We were the first generation to wear fully synthetic fabrics,” an all-wise narrator reminds us. “We were also…the last,” he adds, showing off the burn scars he and a 14 year-old friend wear. Thanks to such “progress,” and bad parenting, “Melly and I were ‘the flammable children.'”

“Swinging Safari” is an unruly, unsettling and shambolic romp through a ’70s childhood in Australia. It’s from the director of “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert,” and if it’s not autobiographical, that can only come as a relief. Not that his protagonist, an aspiring tweenage filmmaker named Jeff (Atticus Robb), remembers this near-disastrous experiment in free-range parenting, ‘safety not guaranteed” child’s play and “swinging” that way.

Stephan Elliott conjures up the lost world of Wyong Place, an idyllic split-level slice of Aussie suburbia on the edge of Nobby’s Beach. It’s where three families and their kids played, drank, experimented and somehow cheated the impending death that seems to hang over their every activity.

“Wedged in time somewhere between ‘Penny Lane’ and ‘Wall Street,'” (circa 1975, I figure), we meet the “House of Hall,” “There’s No Place Like Jones” and “Life on Marsh” families in postcard screen-caps from little Jeff’s super eight movies.

Hey, if you wanted to learn to make “foreign cinema” like “Jaws” in the ’70s, you had to have a “super power,  super weapon, super eight camera.” And Jeff isn’t just capturing the chaotic home life and cringe-worthy play of these families. He was making movies under his “Death Cheaters” banner — DIY credits, DIY effects (papier mache volcanos) and all-too-real DIY stunts.

Mini-bikes, trampolines and unsupervised fireworks aren’t enough. Jeff’s camera gives him the power to talk other kids into doing pretty much anything he wants. Neighbor boy Gerome (Jesse Denyer) already has a full Evel Knievel suit. Douse him with gas for a fire stunt?

“It’s perfectly safe!”

“Ready when you are, CB!”

The movies they’re making; “Jaws 2, Humans 0,” “The Revengers” and “Dead Sorry in the Morning” among them, are a cringe-worthy hoot. We keep waiting for somebody to blow up, burn to death, drown or at least poke an eye out.

“You aren’t gonna get burned, Gerome is!”

What the parents are doing instead of paying attention to their kids is amusingly appalling. Neighbor mom Kaye (Kylie Minogue) is all but confined to their house, drinking. “Agoraphobia, like skin cancer and political correctness, hadn’t been invented yet.”

Her husband (Guy Pearce) is trying to house, feed and entertain his brood selling Funk & Wagnall’s Encyclopedias door to door, or by phone, holed up in the basement where he keeps his porn magazines.

“Yes, I’m a wanker! And I’ve got the dirty magazines to prove it!”

Radha Mitchell, slinging her native Oz accent for a change, and Julian McMahon are the high-flying, pill-popping, over-spending, one-upping Joneses. Their rambunctious kids include one shrinking violet, Melissa (Imogen Hess). She’s sensitive, “invisible,” and only sensitive Jeff really sees her.

Jeff’s own parents (Asher Keddie, Jeremy Sims) are merely the best of a very bad lot, and that’s not taking into account the absurdly promiscuous teenage daughter (Chelsea Glaw) they’re not-quite-raising.

Elliott is a filmmaker drawn to the extravagant, and “Swining Safari” is overstuffed with it, from the mayhem of the movies Jeff makes to the violent play of the “rumpus room” where kids were confined during parties, and on to the “swinging” that takes place downstairs, among the seemingly consenting adults.

The film takes its title from the “Swingin’ Safari” LP German orchestra leader Bert Kaempfert and his biggest flute-trio hit had in the ’60s. That’s a pun for the “key party” swinging that the couples turn their fondue party into, with Kaempfert’s gloriously square instrumentals contrasting with the destructive behavior they’re set to.

As for symbolism, well Nobby’s Beach has a great blue whale wash up on it, “trapped here, rotting, just like us” Melly assures Jeff. They have to get out, and they’re the only ones who know it.

There’s a bemused dread hanging over “Swinging Safari” (opening in the US June 21), with everything from leaving kids to bake in a hot car to “teach a lesson” to them to dangerously pointy beach umbrellas to every insanely dangerous thing “my stunt man” is put through for Death Cheaters productions.

The kids are amusingly crass and clueless, stepping on jellyfish for kicks, cruelly misusing each other and having accidents with their pets. But the great pleasure in the picture is the way Pearce, Minogue, McMahon and the other adults hurl themselves into the vulgarity of it all.

The only big laughs are sight gags, with Mitchell’s insults hurled while she’s wearing one of those Vita Master Exercise Machine belts standing out.

“Do-o-o-on’t ma-a-a-ke me la-a-a-augh!”

But Elliott has fun, as we do, snickering and rolling our eyes at the insane nonsense we believed, practiced and indulged in way back when.

When another kid cracks, “Geez, I wish I had parents like yours,” Elliott and his fellow survivors can only grin and shake our heads.

2half-star6

MPAA Rating: R for sexual content, language and some underage drinking

Cast: Guy Pearce, Kylie Minogue, Radha Mitchell, Julian McMahon, Asher Keddie, Jeremy Sims

Credits: Written and directed by Stephan Elliott.   A Blue Fox Entertainment release.

Running time: 1:36

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BOX OFFICE: Will “Aladdin” steal $60 or $80 on its opening weekend?

 

 

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Disney’s had very good luck with its live action (plus loads of CGI) remakes of classic cartoons.

“Aladdin” should continue the box office domination of “Beauty and the Beast,” “The Jungle Book” and “Cinderella” and “Dumbo,” with little competition.

The only question is, will it only manage $60 million, on its opening weekend? Deadline.com is saying $73 million, North America, and $175 globally on its opening weekend. Variety calls it an $80 million opening weekend, which is in line with with a (some screens) 3D release in this line of remakes should earn.

It’s a LONG holiday weekend, and I’d be very surprised if this one doesn’t flirt with $100, but pre-release tracking doesn’t park this in “blockbuster” territory. Disney is hellbent on remaking its great run of animated hits as live action hits, and not all are destined to blow up.

Reviews have been lukewarm, to say the least. The movie sits right on the cusp on the Tomatometer and Metacritic. Rotten Tomatoes just added scores of newly credentialed critics in an effort to get a more diverse range of opinions. Didn’t help the PC “Aladdin.”

I found it a pointless shrug, OK for what it is — noisy, cluttered, overstuffed — fine for little kids, but meh.

Two other wide releases hit theaters this weekend. Glowing reviews could boost the rude and somewhat raunchy (language, only) “Booksmart,” but it’s still only set to earn $11-13 million. Will a girls-oriented R-rated comedy prove such predictions wrong? You’d like to think so.

Then there’s the imitation comic book movie “Brightburn,” about a Super…being taken in by a farm family and turning out EVIL. Yeah, the Screen Gems release sounds plagiarized from a comic book or two, or at least very very unoriginal in its genesis. Mixed reviews for this one, and it could open as high as $13.

“John Wick Chapter 3” should reach $100 million by the end of the holiday weekend, if not earlier in it.

“The Hustle” passes “Long Shot” in the summer comedy sweepstakes, and beats it to $30 million.

“Detective Pikachu” is already over $100, and fading, and “Avengers: Endgame” will hit the $800 million mark by weekend’s end.

The three new releases will shove “The Sun is Also a Star,” “Uglydolls” and “Poms” out of the top ten.

 

 

 

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Harvey Weinstein ‘to settle with accusers for $44m’

SOMEbody got off cheap. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-48393721

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