The universe has gotten a lot more diverse in the decades since we first visited “A galaxy far far away.” And less sexist.
There’s a Republic, and plenty of reminders — crashed warships, grizzled veterans — of the war that brought it back.
But evil has reared its ugly head. The First Order is less subtle than the evil Empire about its affection for fascist optics, fascist storm troopers and fascist practices — massacring civilians and what not. But perhaps there are people with souls underneath those scary white (and black) helmets.
So a Resistance has formed, led by The Usual Suspects. And the war among the stars begins again.
J.J. Abrams’ “Star Wars” reboot, “The Force Awakens,” begins with smuggled plans. OK, it’s a map this time. There’s an adorable droid entrusted with the map. He gets away on a desert planet. Advice from a sage of the desert — warmly played by the great Max Von Sydow — is taken.
Escaping from the planet involves a dazzling dogfight and the Millennium Falcon. Old friends show up, and the map makes its way toward people who might be able to prevent this big round thing from blowing up planets.
Sure, it’s still a fun ride — shootouts, getaways made via hyperspace, wisecracks. But pretending “The Force Awakens” is anything more than a glib facsimile of “A New Hope,” the original “Star Wars” movie, is delusional. It’s dull because it is achingly unoriginal. Abrams, at every turn, plays it safe, with multiple “takes me right out of the movie” lapses.
In Disney’s hands, it’s a small galaxy, after all — billions of people, with a choice few just stumbling into each other in the most bizarre coincidences, fewer quest story plots to choose from (the same one), desert planets that have the same sorts of critters, bars with the same barflies, etc.
The new villains are Kylo Ren, a black-helmeted brute who throws hilarious tantrums, shorting out all manner of electronics with his Crusader broadsword light saber. Adam Driver is Hayden Christensen reborn, in essence, a somewhat amusing menace with the helmet on, that tall, skinny, curly-headed funnyman from “Girls” and “This is Where I Leave You” with the helmet off. Miscast.
His best line? “We’re not done here.” Kind of lacks…something.
And there’s a Supreme Being, another digital creation acted out by Andy “Gollum” Serkis. At least he’s kind of scary.
The desert planet heroine, Rey, is a scavenger of Jakku played with pluck by Daisy Ridley. She’s waiting for “my family. They’ll be back, someday.”
She is no damsel in distress.
“I know how to run! Let go of my hand!”
The most interesting addition is the Storm Trooper with a heart. John Boyega shows the character’s humanity. Raised to blindly follow orders, the blood of his first combat makes him crack. Boyega lets us see the remorse, and maybe a little cowardice. He comes to be called “Finn,” because the First Order gave him no actual name.
The guy who names him that is crack Resistance pilot Poe, cartoonishly played by the normally reliable Oscar Isaac (“Ex Machina,””Inside Llewyn Davis”). Poe is captured and tortured, making feeble wisecracks all the while. He must sense that a Storm Trooper will turn traitor (for the first time EVER) and help him escape.
But the moment Han Solo shows up, this becomes a Harrison Ford movie. Han’s a single-again grumpy old man a little flattered that Rey quotes his legend (“the Kessell run”) back to him, still bickering with Chewbacca, still reluctant to get involved until the chips are down. Even if Leia (Carrie Fisher) is the one asking for his help.
Ford’s easy comfort with a cheesy line has never faltered, and Abrams leaves the picture in his able hands for the middle acts.
The effects are sharper, 40 years more developed. Why does Abrams do so little to show them off? The chases, dogfights and set-piece battles are static and recycled. The Big Pause for a Big Death is just an eye-roller.
Even the aliens are oh-so-familiar, right down to Admiral “It’s a trap!” Ackbar.
The earliest reviews of this are all glowing, as indeed they were for this past summer’s “Jurassic Park” clone — “Jurassic World.” This will certainly make billions. “Brand” above all, right?
But “The Force Awakens” boils down to a couple of genuine lump-in-the-throat moments, and those are due to nostalgia. The rest? Seen it, done it, been there, and remember it — even though it was “a long time ago.”
(UPDATE — Now EVERYBODY realizes “Force Awakens” is a “glib facsimile” of “A New Hope.”
MPAA Rating:PG-13 for sci-fi action violence
Cast: Harrison Ford, Daisy Ridley, Jon Boyega, Carrie Fisher, Adam Driver, Domhnall Gleeson, Lupita Nyong’o, Andy Serkis, Max Von Sydow
Credits: Directed by J.J. Abrams, script by Lawrence Kasdan, J.J. Abrams, Michael Arndt. ALucasfilm/Walt Disney release.
Running time: 2:15
Movie Nation 
Basically, if you don’t like Star Wars, you won’t like Star Wars 7. Shock horror. Did you write this just to go against the sea of praise?
Loved “Star Wars.” This is the same movie. Do people deserve credit for copying that, and just making it more PC? Nope.
I do not blame people for thinking “He’s just being contrary.” But it isn’t the case. I fret over the lack of guts that my fellow critics are showing in praising this piffle.
PS re: comments. Profanity and name calling are off limits. See the movie, take issue with the points I laid out Or STFU. It’s the same movie — beat by beat. Changing the sex of characters and injecting a humane Storm Trooper doesn’t change that. The bar moves from Mos Eisley, the desert world isn’t named Tatooine, and shoot, we’re not calling it a Death Star any more. So…original?
How many of you have watched the crap Lawrence Kasdan has scripted the past ten years? Unwatchable. “Star Trek Into Darkness” shows the myopia of Abrams — all veneer, little heart.
So see it, take issue with my arguments. And keep your rants about my sexuality to yourself.
Sounds like someone doesn’t like JJ Abrams as a person or a director and will put a bad mark on anything he’s involved with, good or bad.
Not at all. I raved about “Star Trek,” found a lot of heart in “Super 8” and have interviewed him a few times over the years. But “Trek Into Darkness” “The Force Awakens” have weak scripts, undermotivated villains and eye rolling action beats.
If it is a “Redux”, at least was it a “Good” redux? Simplifying something into one single category can become rather mind numbing. If you judged the movie for what it is, even as a “Redux”, could you provide more info. I rather liked “Mad Max FR”, it reminded me of some of the originals with some very similar plot lines. I thought the “new” Wrath of Khan, had a nice refreshing view, with an entertaining story. Did the movie delight you? Or did you kind of expect it to be just a “simple” remake. Imagine nothing existed before, could you say there was deceit acting, screen play, unique effects, and maybe leaving you feeling entertained, kind of what movies do.
“Glib” “Piffle”
If I took away your thesaurus, will you die? Piffle.
genius, only negative review on RT, traffic pours in to tell you you suck, and with it comes the ad revenue, Bravo
If your aim was to create clickbait with the only negative review then it worked as here I am but it is refreshing to read a review that’s not blindly praising the movie. This comment makes me take the review a little less seriously. Would a professional respond with “STFU” and complain about the movie being “PC”? Episodes 1 to 3 also tried to homage the original trilogy but with little success. The cyclical nature of history plays a large part in the whole Star Wars Universe so it’s not surprising that there are familiar themes. It sounds like The Force Awakens has tackled these themes with far more success.
While I have not yet seen the movie, just by watching the first full-length trailer I came to the same conclusions as the review above. All the same tropes, locales, imagery and apparently plot points are shamelessly recycled. How cowardly from JJ!!!
Again, desert planet, death star, a para-Darth Vader, some dog-fights etc… The only discernible difference is the replacement of the “white male” leads, with a female and black dude. Even in PC terms that is more fantasy/ideology than anything else. US demographics since 1977 have not changed in the way reflected in this movie but in other ways. Making Finn a Latino, would have made more sense, or if we go by European demographic changes, a Middle-Easterner would have made more sense. If we go for the new markets created for Hollywood product, then he should have been East Asian.
Even more ridiculous, is having a female as the lead. There is a reason why throughout history, martial heroes were men and not women. But don’t tell Hollywood that.
I get the sense, that as with the distinctly mediocre “Mad Max: Fury Road” the critics just follow the Party Line and have no confidence or conviction in their own taste and judgement in cinematic/artistic values.
Correction. There is one GREAT new location. It is British, and was in the first episode of Simon Schama’s “A History of Britain.”
PC is what the mentally ill call Diverse.
PC is why stand up comics refuse to perform college campuses. Where the real mentally ill, or at least the coddled and unchallenged, have a “safe space.”
uh oh, see what you did? fans are going to get angry now.
Hold on to your buts
Riiiiight…
You Suck. How can you hate something that everyone else loves? I think its time for someone to fade into early retirement.
People have different opinions, you child. To believe everyone on the planet was going to completely love the movie is nothing short of idiocy. Retire from life.
I seriously hope you’re a troll. If not, I think it’s time for someone to learn to accept others’ opinions.
Some of these comments are pretty glib
what kind of review is this? “Oh-ah! Am nostalgiophobic!”
What’s unsatisfactory? Is the editing lapsy and visible? Bad cinematography? Subpar acting? No! Just like The Dark Knight trilogy chose its tone and thusly calibrated the humor and menance, Heroes in the Star Wars Galaxy should react to situations bearing on the collective personality of their predecessors.
We’re still going to require fan-fav comic relief once the old players lay down their sabers….it’s only fitting such traits should rise to the surface now.
“Oh-ah! An gonna be the first critic that gave a negative review to Star Wars 7. Wikipidea will remember that.”
What a great way to get hits on your website. Purposely create a negative review to draw attention to yourself. Genius! You just lost all credibility as a review critic.
what a glib facsimile of a good comment
Accidentally creating a negative review would be kinda hard, wouldn’t it?
I know it that this movie is will be overated junk
Why are you attacking a guy who wrote of a review of a movie you haven’t seen yet?
Is it bad that I can’t tell anymore if comments like the above are satire or not?
Thank you for keeping it honest.
All those salty nerds comments… Thank you for standing out your POV Roger.
Ah you can tell this reviewer was going to say Episode 7 wasn’t good on purpose before even seeing the movie. He is the only one according to rotten tomatoes to not like it. Trying to be edgy for bait clicks I see.
Don’t pay attention to this person.
Rotten Tomatoes also liked the previous Lucas trilogy… They got as good taste in movies than Kim Kardashian IQ.
The Phantom Menace is at 55% (rotten) with 117 positive and 94 negative. Episode 7 has 89 positive and 1 negative. The reviewer is entitled to his opinion, but the commenters are fair to call him an outlier.
Check out Episode II and III (which are even worse than Phantom Menace). I will judge by myself, but just because someone point out flaws (which seems to be true since even good critics are saying it’s a “good” REHASH of A New Hope), and doesn’t want to follow the bandwagonning train doesn’t mean he’s obviously an outlier.
Phantom Menace was highly praised when it came out, the dust settled months and years later when everybody start to have some distance and actually found it bad. Wait & See, but the mad nerds on those comments aren’t what I would call “fair”.
You’re a glib facsimile.
IT’S OVER JJ ABRAMS IS FINISHED!
This guy couldn’t be more wrong.
Care to elaborate? It’s just a “New Hope” rehash: pastebin.com/jcHuwZKT
“The Starkiller base charges by draining suns and then destroys whole solar systems. The shot in trailer with Kylo Ren and red flare is the Starkiller base firing. Guess what, the Starkiller base can be destroyed by flying in her trench and shooting the “oscillator” or whatever.”
Absolutely based. Thanks for not succumbing to popular opinion.
ABRAMS ON SUICIDE WATCH.
Oh no. It’s that guy.
IT’S OVER ABRAMS IS FINISHED
GLIB
L
I
B
I glib this review an epic/epic
Oh for God’s sake, it’s Star Wars what do you truly expect, Shakespeare? get over yourself.
Live and let die my good friend, there is no reason to be mad.
how about something original
Its treason then
The Fire Rises
>What’s going on here?
Leave the guy alone.
Yeah, this is what I expected. Every unfavourable review of this film is going to attract hordes of angry butthurt nerds swinging their lightsabers in anger. Learn to accept others’ opinions, even if you firmly disagree.
Ah Hum. I didn’t see the movie and i’m not a hardcore fan. But to be honest, your review is kind of a mess. you give it 2 stars, thats a 4 out of 10. That means its a really shitty movie. normally i would restrain myself from watching such bad movies.But I think, to give a movie this bad of a grade you should better describe what the movie is missing or what is so bad about the movie. Now it kind of sounds like you opinion, and a good review should be technical and go in depth. Especially for someone to give it such a bad grade. 2 stars, MAN. If this is true, i would mean this movie is about as bad as movies get, a bit like the newest transformers movies.
my excusses for the bad grammar.
Simple math is a problem, too, eh? 2 stars out of four is 5/10. Not awful. Just a bore, with three big took-me-out-of-the-film clunky moments.
Here’s an eye-opener for Rotten Tomatoes addicts
http://www.metacritic.com/movie/star-wars-episode-vii—the-force-awakens
My apologies for overlooking the fact that the rating system is one where you can only give a max of 4 stars. I’m used to the 5 star rating system, because 4 is just stupid and makes no sense. 5/10 is still a bad movie. I don’t know to which school you went, but that means you failed. But luckily, most people still give the movie around an 8 out of 10. P.s, I don’t get the eye-opener? On metacritic’s they give it an 81/100, and on rotten it’s an average rating: 8.2/10 from the critic’s. so i would say, pretty close. I don’t disagree on the hype train and the first wave of people overpraising the thing. But a 5 is pretty steep.
Four is standard, the world over. Michelin Guide, etc. “Four star review.” Ever heard that? What are you, twelve?
What did you mean by this?
Are you not the James Bond 007 Roger Moore? LOL How weak was the First Black Leading Man? All googly eyes over the girl, is what I hear…..
Roger, thank you for not being afraid of the fanboy reaction to honest critique and you’ve earned a new reader in me. But I suggest disabling the comments here. There’s no reason to subject yourself to the kind of foolishness that awaits you after not doing what you were “supposed to”.
guy can’t have an opinion anymore?
anyway, I applaud Mr. Roger for keeping it real. just ignore these psychos.
CRASHING THIS COMMENT SECTION
I SURVIVED!
“Reboot”
What exactly does that word mean to you?
This sums it up for me: i.4cdn.org/tv/1450203838419.jpg
Thanks for the honest review. Hollywood doesn’t take risks anymore, so the choice to stick so close to what worked the first time around does not surprise me. I grew up with A New Hope and Empire, so curious to see this one.
At least they didn’t take the path of the atrotious prequels, which still rank as some of the worst films I have ever seen.
A honest review among the sea of facsimiles of dishonest reviews blinded by nostalgia and jewery.
it’s all ogre for jar jar abrams
Thanks for your honest review of this overhyped cash grab of a film. It’s good to know there are critics out there that don’t sell out to the corporate hype and expect more than just a rehash of a 38 year old classic film. Loving the salty comments too… so pathetic.
that’s NOT a fair review…..i’m sorry….why can’t someone enjoy this masterpiece?
Negative reviews are important. They tell you what the worst-case scenario for enjoyment might be. If the criticisms don’t sound that bad to me, and the praises sound good, then I can watch a thing with confidence.
STAR WARS FANS
B T F O
T
F
O
Just kidding. Congratulations on painting a giant target on your back.
your ultimate argument boils down to a lack of originalty? I thought about all those sequences you saw as “unoriginal” to me were more of a homage that kept the spirit and feel of the originals. By the way, this is episode 7! Arguing originalty is so immature. And also learn how to review a film without spoilers. This review is full of them.
When it’s the SAME MOVIE as NEW HOPE, “spoiler alert” is kind of impossible. I left out several characters/plot twists and conclusions.
I just returned from seeing it. This movie is not identical to New Hope, it has some of the same elements and the same overall feeling of that movie but in no way was it an exact copy this reviewer makes it out to be.
Yes but you liked In the Heart of the Sea which gives me pause when thinking about your reviews.
But your other reviews are pretty good, carry on.
Good write-up. This is more or less what I was expecting. I was hoping Disney would do something bold with the franchise, but I might check it out after Christmas when the crowds die down. Thanks for keeping things mostly spoiler-free.
First of all star wars will always be star wars not a new movie that this critic wants.For example in pmantom menace young anakin flies into a certain big ships core and fires lasers at it and destroys it this copies the destruction of the death star in return of the Jedi.Whether a prequel or a sequel if you are a director asigned the movie you must always folow a certain pattern to appese the original fans who are the MOST IMPORTANT.If you dont follow this formula you may create a new critical masterpiece but loose the original fans e.g the new dark amazing spiderman of andy and director webb though acted briliantly loses the joy and laughter of the light hearted and less better acted sam raimi and tobey maguire spiderman thus alianating its core fans and thus massive box office decline from a constant 300 to 400 million dollar movie to barely scrapping 200 million.Star wars will always be star wars i.e rc-3po,R2DT,deathstar rebbots,light sabber battles if the above critic did not know this than how can he make a credible opinion and he seems to hate jj abrams despite his excuses
Finally someone who’s honest. It’s very refreshing.
How dare you differ in opinion from me (someone who hasn’t seen the movie!)
So you expect them to take one of the most profitable IPs in the world and turn it into something else than what it’s supposed to be? What did you want, some artsy-fartsy drama that spits in the face of all the Star Wars fans looking for a new Star Wars movie?
So star wars is supposed to be a copy of the original film? What?
Loved your work in the Man with the Golden Gun!
I find your lack of faith disturbing …
Seen the movie yersterday (AP in Belgium) and I totally agree with this review. I don’t understand all the positive reviews out there. I’m a huge fan and member of the Belgian SW Fanclub. We went to the premiere and all of us were dumbstruck after seeing it. I was so dissapointed. Waiting 3 years and then… nothing. No magic, just rehash of old themes. It was a really sad night. I’m going again this afternoon and hope that I will enjoy it more, now that my expectations are lowered.
You ever see the documentary Tim’s Vermeer? It’s about a guy who had an idea on how the great artist Vermeer did his paintings, so he set about to replicate it in a billion hours of excruciating detail. Seeing his finished product, while a copy of a great work, was beautiful and him and the audience were full of emotion. The dedication the man showed to this endeavor made the painting all that more wonderful. Now, is TFA akin to this? Maybe not, but copying something great isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Man you are the only negative review on rotten tomatoes. Disney is sending their goon squad out as we speak. If 5 300 pound men in Mickey Mouse hats wielding toy light sabers show up at your door don’t answer man.
I think people need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. While I was still on active duty, the truest indicator of a performance review was the average grade that the person performing the review gave- some grade differently than others. Same thing applies here. Look at the man’s previous reviews. He typically is harder on sequels because he expects that material should progress, not rehash. The only outlier being “22 Jump Street” (explain that one buddy! *grin) Otherwise his reviews ARE consistent. Well written and insightful- won’t keep me from seeing the movie, but it does put it in perspective. Thanks.
Dear Terry. Your check is in the mail. Unmarked envelope. As per custom.
Now I am curious- have you seen it a SECOND time? Does your opinion change? Or are you even compelled to revisit it?
Maybe, but some movies are so old that a rehash is not so bad. There are a lot of kids that didn’t see the original. A bit like Mad Max and other movies. That should not be the reason to give a movie a bad rating. You should rate the movie for what it is. And ofc, if the script or acting is bad or there is no build up or no good ambiance or any kind of technical stuff. Then ofc, you should rate it appropriately.