You’ve got to appreciate good trash talk to get into “Balls Out,” a college intramural sports comedy that was never going to amount to much.
“I’m gonna rip out your colon and use it as a spooky eye-patch!”
The classmate-coach’s pep talks tilt toward the color purple.
“You’re on a dinner date with fate. And right now, she keeps touching your shoulder. Quit ordering dessert and TAKE her HOME!”
It’s about a long dormant “ragteam team of varied archetypes,” reunited for one last shot at glory. Or as Caleb (Jake Lacy of “Obvious Child”) puts it, “my last shot at doing something that doesn’t matter.”
Caleb gave up on the Panthers years before, after throwing the pass that put his best friend (Nick Kocher, funny) in a wheelchair.
Getting the Panthers — frat boys, fifth year seniors, social misfits — back together means confronting that awful past, and archrival Dick (Beck Bennett, also a hoot). And maybe making time with Dick’s tasty sister (Nikki Reed).
Law school, engagement to the pushy Vicky (Kate McKinnon of “Saturday Night Live”)? That can wait.
Andrew Disney’s low-budget film, built on a Bradley Jackson script, is all motivational speeches from Grant and training montages “culminating in an epic slow-motion shot of celebration.”
That, according to the Greek chorus of genre-smart would-be sportscasters in the stands. Jay Pharoah (also of “Saturday Night Live”) and D.C. Pierson riff color commentary from the otherwise empty bleachers.
“We haven’t seen these guys since we were second year seniors!”
Sure, it’s basically one long testicles joke. But set your expectations low enough and you’ll find a laugh, here and there.
MPAA Rating: R for crude and sexual material, language and some drug use
Cast: Jake Lacey, Nikki Reed, Nick Kocher, Kate McKinnon, Beck Bennett
Credits: Directed by Andrew Disney, script by Bradley Jackson. An MGM/Orion release.
Running time: 1:36