Movie Preview: Who wants to play “Bodies Bodies Bodies?”

Amandla Stenberg, Maria Bakalova, Lee Pace and Rachel Sennott.

Aug 5 and 12, theaters, then streaming platform, then that one.

From A24. Need I say more?

Trigger warning. F——g Pete Davidson’s in it.

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Netflixable? Dave Bautista, Pierce Brosnan and Ray Stevenson fret over a hostage soccer stadium — “Final Score”

A quick shout out here to the unheralded hero of many a movie, the casting director.

That person is responsible for populating the background faces in group scenes, and in bringing in the right folks for smaller supporting roles.

Not an easy job for a bloke like Colin Jones, charged with finding villains big enough to be menacing to that round mound of muscle, Dave Bautista.

Sure, veteran heavy Ray Stevenson towers over most mere mortals. But rounding up monstrous gym rats like Martyn Jones was a must for “Final Score,” a Dave-against-Terrorists tale set in a soccer stadium.

This 2018 release tapped into the ongoing repression/invasion politics of Putin’s Russia for a sort of “Sudden Death” remake with “football” instead of hockey and Van Damme instead of Bautista –“”Die Hard’ on the Soccer Pitch.”

It’s got some cool action beats and epic brawls, the occasional clever bit of work-the-problem life-or-death situations, and one of the funniest third act racial gags in the history of action cinema.

The story? Could’ve been written by a cheap phone app.

Bautista plays an ex-military chap who constantly checks in on the family of a fallen London comrade. Teenaged Danni (Lara Peake) has braces and a passion for tantrums and rash decisions and could use a little “Uncle Mike” father figure help.

So, a little bonding at the West Ham vs. Russian champs “Dynamo” match it is. Until Danni sneaks off to be with her jerk boyfriend, and Mike’s gimlet-eyed attention is diverted by the beefy guys and gal in too many tattoos and Eastern European accents who seem to be everywhere they shouldn’t be in the stadium.

There’s a dastardly plot, a lot of explosives, some seriously fanatical terrorists and a hunt for Pierce Brosnan (taking a shot at speaking Eastern European) in the stands, with a stadium in lockdown and the hapless cops outside slow to figure all this out.

As if anybody hasn’t seen “Die Hard.”

Stevenson plays the mastermind, accenting his way through “Clearly you are a man of skeel and talent. I yam a man of WEEL. Do not TEST me!”

Amit Shah is the stadium security employee “Faisal” who deals with BREXIT racists every day, but a terrorist incident and the “lone hero” out to stop them on this one special day.

The violence is next-level when it comes to a savage fight in an elevator, a brutal beatdown in a kitchen and a ground level to rooftop motorcycle chase.

Helicopters, and “Take the SHOT!” are involved. Not that the stadium crowd ever notices a thing. Those Brits and their football.

Director Scott Mann did the all-star but little-seen “Heist” a few years back, and wrings what he can out of this tired plot. For me, the picture started with a bang, leveled off and then gently nose-dived in the third act. A few fun bits, only one truly funny line (It is a DOOZY.) and a couple of decent performances are what recommend this.

And again, kudos to the casting director, the guy who gave us hulking villains, a believably awkward punk teen or two and sadly a whole lot of cops and “SAS” folks who wound up making almost no impression at all.

Rating: R for strong violence and language throughout

Cast: Dave Bautista, Ray Stevenson, Lara Peake, Alexandra Dinu, Amit Shah and Pierce Brosnan.

Credits: Directed by Scott Mann, scripted by Keith Lynch, David T. Lynch and Jonathan Frank. A Saban Films/Lionsgate release on Netflix.

Running time: 1:44

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Movie Preview: An All-Star rom-com about an Italian trip that goes sideways — “Spin Me Round

Allison Brie, Aubrey Plaza, Alessandro Nivola, Molly Shannon, Fred Armisen, Tim Heidecker…

A work trip to Italy turns romantic, and then goes ever so wrong.

This looks edgy and fun, from IFC Aug. 19.

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Movie Review: “Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris”

“Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris” is so much bubbly, frothy fun that it makes you wonder how “feel good movies” ever got a bad name.

Director Anthony Fabian and a team of co-writers make this glorious, feather-light period piece effortlessly amusing and above all, sweet. The best “feel good” movies do a little something to restore our faith in humanity, and this one does that, time and again.

This sentimental adaptation of Paul Gallico’s oft-filmed novel reminds us that Gallico’s mid-20th pop fiction turned up on screen about as often as Stephen King’s does today — from “Lili” and “Thomasina” to “The Poseidon Adventure.” It makes a grand showcase for Lesley Manville, best known in recent years for playing Princess Margaret in “The Crown,” but a favorite of director Mike Leigh and an Englishwoman who has no trouble playing roughhewn American (“Let Him Go”) when the needs arises.

Mrs. Harris is a simple, widowed cleaning woman who manages a penuriously comfortable life in 1957 London, working for multiple clients — a posh bachelor (Christian McKay), a lord and lady (Anna Chancellor) who won’t pay her on time, and a more-self-absorbed-than-the-rest young actress (Rose Williams).

There’s just enough left over at the end of the week for a night at the pub or even the dog track with her fellow cleaning woman Vi (Ellen Thomas) and the aging, working class Irish lady’s man Archie (Jason Isaacs, adorable).

But there are shadows hanging over this limited life. There’s not a lot of cash on hand for a woman in her 50s and working this hard. It’s a limited life.

Mrs. Harris is “widowed” in that her husband was missing in action in “The War.” She’s superstitious about “My Eddie,” not wanting to do anything to imply she’s given up hope he’ll show up over a dozen years after his disappearance. And she’s always looking for “signs” that Eddie is looking over her.

The day her life changes is the one she spies a new dress the Lady Dant (Chancellor) has purchased for her daughter’s all-important wedding. It’s glorious. It’s from Christian Dior in Paris. And even though this one-percenter can’t pay her employee on time, she had 500 pounds sitting around to purchase a piece of haute couture.

Mrs. Harris swoons. Mrs. Harris has a goal. She must have such a dress. A life of labor and penny-pinching will have its reward. As she doubles up work, takes in sewing and the like, scrimping and saving, she shrugs off every obstacle that gets in her way, and sees every boon as a sign.

“It’s my Eddie, my angel!”

And damned if events and her friends don’t conspire to make sure this unassuming woman’s one, all-consuming dream comes true.

But one first-ever plane ride to Paris later presents a new set of obstacles. Dior’s overlord (Isabelle Huppert, magnificently maleficent) dismisses her with an “I fear you have the wrong address” as a showing for the rich and richer is beginning. A sea of snobs and an officious, rude staff could end this dream right now.

Because it’s not like she can just buy a dress off the rack. But the sight of her rolls of cash wins her one champion — the cash-flow fixated bookkeeper (Lucas Bravo). And a simple act of courtesy by Mrs. Harris has made “the face of Dior,” the model Natasha (Alba Baptista) another fan.

The magnanimous Marquis de Chassagne (Lambert Wilson) insists she sit with him as his guest, and shows her the ropes of such exclusive private showings. Oy, oo’s that over there? Why, Monsieur Dior, my dear woman.

“‘e looks like my milkman!”

Manville keeps the character just this side of Eliza Doolittle, and Fabian (“Skin,” “Louder than Words”) lets the obstacles arrive, one after the other, followed by the working class woman’s plucky work-arounds. There’s delight in this story thanks to just the right proportion of heartaches and heartwarming mini-triumphs.

Much attention is paid to the milieu, with 1957 Paris in the middle of a sanitation workers strike, Dior in dire financial straits and London a lot more integrated than the whitewashed movies of the day let on.

Manville perfectly captures this throwback character, a member of the “Keep calm and carry on” generation inclined to be of service to one and all, but awakened to something of the bum deal the working class has been dealt by the rich as she’s schooled by the striking French.

A little romance, a little match-making, a trip to the Folies Bergere, a first-ever ride on a Vespa, a few fittings as part of bespoke dressmaking and an awful lot of twinkling put the frosting on this cake.

And this cast, from top to bottom, adds to the sense of the effortless charm of it all, so much so that you just know herculean labors must have been involved to make it so.

Not to gush or go too far overboard, but the warmth of a movie like “Mrs. Harris” is downright restorative in the viewing, two escapist hours that remind us that everyone is entitled to courtesy, a fair shake and a little beauty and luxury, and most of all, the hope that life can get better.

Rating: PG

Cast: Leslie Manville, Alba Baptista, Anna Chancellor, Ellen Thomas, Rose Williams, Jason Isaacs, Lucas Bravo, Lambert Wilson, Christian McKay and Isabelle Huppert.

Credits: Directed by Anthony Fabian, scripted by Anthony Fabian, Carroll Cartwright, Keith Thomas and Olivia Hetreed, based on a novel by Paul Gallico. A Focus Features release.

Running time: 1:55

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Today’s DVD donation? A filmmaker digs into the story behind a landmark Uruguayan film that went “Straight to VHS”

The DVD cover is much more lascivious than the documentary it contains, or the tepid movie that inspired it, and apparently a generation of South American filmmakers who saw it and thought, “I can do that.”

That’s what the Spanish language “Straight to VHS” is about, a cult film that made a mark far beyond its distribution.

And yes, I have to worry about DVD covers and movie subject matter in terms of donations these days, as Florida’s governor is a book banning homophobe, a Nazi who has found his “Jews” to campaign against.

Can’t have a library get in trouble for renting out material that the local brownshirts will use as an excuse to cut off their funding.

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Movie Preview: Jamie Foxx, Dave Franco and Snoop are huntin’ vampires on the “Day Shift”

“John Wick” and “Kick Ass” folks are behind this amped up foul-mouthed action dramedy.

Aug 12, y’all.

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Netflixable? The untold story of zombies in the Spanish Civil War — “Valley of the Dead (Malnazidos)”

A Spanish Civil War action comedy with nationalist fascists, anti-fascists, Nazis and zombies, “Valley of the Dead” is the epitome of “high concept,” a movie so simple you can sum up its plot and/or potential appeal in a single line.

It leans more towards the “thriller” end of the spectrum, never quite sticking the zombie comedy landings, never getting all it can from combat-thriller-as-zombie-movie tropes and situations.

But you know the old saying. “If you see one Spanish Civil War zombie action comedy this year…”

Miki Esparbé of “Off Course to China” stars as Capt. Jan Lozano, whom we meet trying to wisecrack his way out from in front of a firing squad. Lucky for him his uncle (Manuel Morón, not a typo) is a general.

The perpetual screw-up, a hot-head who head-butted a judge who happened to be Generalissimo Franco’s cousin is given one last chance, a mission to deliver a message to an officer on the other side of a Republican/leftist held valley. “Suicide,” Capt. Jan gripes (in Spanish with English subtitles, or dubbed).

But he’s assigned a virginal, cowardly driver (Manel Llunell) and off they go. Stopping to check on a fascist pilot whom they see shot down is their undoing. A sergeant (Luis Callejo) and his “anarchist”/leftist militia capture them just as they find the pilot’s corpse.

We have mere moments to get acquainted with “the Russian” (Sergio Torrico) in their ranks, the American photographer and the short-haired/short-tempered fighter named “Priest Killer” (Aura Garrido) when damned if that dead pilot isn’t dead after all. It takes more than a few neck-snaps and bullets to figure out that a shot in the skull is the only thing that stops his crawling, ravenous taste for human flesh.

As their militia’s base camp is wiped out, that makes everyone’s mind up for them. The dead are undead in this Spanish valley. Should they cut their fascist prisoners loose and fight a common enemy?

“You can’t die twice if you don’t escape once,” mutters the Russian Brodsky, given to speaking in proverbs. But as they stumble into other straggling survivors of the zombie mini-apocalypse, there’s nothing for it but to team up — the fascist sniper nicknamed “Muslim” (Mouad Ghazouan) and the bomb-throwing anarchist “Matches” (Álvaro Cervantes) among them — to make it out of that valley alive, or at least unbitten.

Some of the dopey stuff plays. The cowardly virginal Decruz picked a side in the civil war based on his love of the pastries the nuns make in his home town. Can’t be fighting for the anti-Catholics, can he? He’d lose his pastries.

“Priest Killer” whispers how she earned that nickname, as if we can’t guess.

The SS officer/doctor in charge of the “experiment” that got out of hand is played by the tallest screen villain (Francisco Reyes) since Richard “Jaws” Kiel retired. That’s kind of what they were going for here, a gory zombie picture with one-liners and towering sight gags.

The only times this “Valley” seems to come together are when it’s playing with classic combat and horror tropes — “experts” in this or that part of the mission, noble sacrifice, the squad breaking up into units of two or three to go off and fight the zombie horde, each in his or her own way.

The zombie swarms are OK, if nothing new, and the head-burst/cranial spray effects are digital and kind of “meh.”

The acting is pretty good, but the screenplay lacks the jokes and sight gags that would make this sing. The entire enterprise feels somewhat flat-footed much of the time. It’s never remotely as scary or visceral as “28 Days Later” or laugh-out-loud funny at the other extreme, “Zombieland.”

Still, one can appreciate the Spanish Civil War setting, with a script that strives to point out that Italians and Germans, Muslim Berbers from Morocco and Americans were all mixed up in Spain’s ugliest hour, either as combatants, financiers or journalists.

It’s a pity co-directors Javier Ruiz Caldera and Alberto de Toro, who collaborated on the Spanish action comedy “Spy Time,” couldn’t find something funnier to do with this. Hunting for thrills or laughs in this “Valley” proves to be futile.

Rating: TV-MA, mucho violencia. Y profanidad.

Cast: Miki Esparbé, Aura Garrido, Luis Callego, Álvaro Cervantes, Manel Llunell, Mouad Ghazouan, Francisco Reyes and María Botto

Credits: Directed by Javier Ruiz Caldera and Alberto de Toro, scripted by Jaime Marques Olarreaga. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:41

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Movie Review: Winona Hunts for her Younger Lover, “Gone in the Night”

What a tricky, twisted thriller in a minor key “Gone in the Night” turns out to be. Well-cast and toying with a tetchy, testy subtext, its virtues tend to suck the life right out of its shortcomings.

Ostensibly about an older woman (Winona Ryder) looking for the reasons her younger lover (John Gallagher Jr.) ditched her on a weekend getaway in the boondocks, it’s really about generation wars, a parable about Boomers, Gen X and those mouthy punks, Millennials.

Can’t we all just get along?

At its best, it’s a clever riff on competing values systems, lifestyles and agendas, a dance through every nasty thing this generation ever said about that one. Or that other one.

Kat and Max seem mismatched the moment we meet them. She’s a well-preserved 50ish, driving her ancient Volvo wagon into the redwoods. He’s a dozen years younger, switching up the music, prattling on about getting her out of her “comfort zone,” and in the passenger’s seat because “I don’t drive.”

But at least he talked her into this weekend rental, and she’s taken the dare.

“I will let you know when I’ve had enough adventure.”

But there’s another, younger couple already in this cabin in the woods. Al (Owen Teague) is sullen and dismissive. Greta (Brianne Rju, fierce) is everything the world tags Generation Z with — a virtue signaling, “capitalism” and “cis normal” bashing, entitled brat. Greta’s pushy and forward, figuring her youth and minority status entitle her to ageism and a lot of “OK, Boomer” judgement.

But Greta is the one to suggest the apparently double-booked newcomers just stay the night. Greta’s the one to make how-pretty-you-still-look cracks ” to Kat, “quite a catch” digs at Max’s ditziness and “that’s hot” endorsements when she hears how they met.

“I was his teacher.” OK, it was a continuing education class the plants-expert/plant shop owner was teaching on hydroponics. Max was just…interested in growing things hydroponically.

All it takes to bust this couple up is a “couples” board game that crosses a few lines, and Kat going to bed before everybody else. A weeping Al is her next morning clue that impulsive/flaky Max has run off with impulsive/predatory Greta.

The plot concerns Kat’s efforts to get over this by finding out where he/they went, tracking down Greta for answers or a confrontation or something else, she doesn’t know what.

To get those answers, she’ll have to find the renter who rented that house to two different couples the same weekend. Nicolas is played by Dermot Mulroney with a twinkle, a hint of mystery and an obvious age-appropriate interest in this cute stranger with her strange “stake out” stalking obsession over being romantically-wronged.

Casting onetime wild-child Ryder as Kat lends credibility to Kat’s rants about “I don’t need to spend another night in an abandoned warehouse with a bunch of f—–g tweakers! I’ve DONE my time!”

And it’s kind of hilarious when Kat/Ryder has to show up at just such a venue and talk her way past the doorman.

“Are your KIDS in there, or something?”

Tju, of TV’s version of “I Know What You Did Last Summer,” is gloriously mean as Greta, 20something and not cursed with burden of self-reflection but into “very intense ambient noise-core” sound. Or maybe I’m just taking Winona (and Mulroney’s) side in their claps at “20 year-olds playing Nerf darts all day” while the world burns.

“Who IS this woman? What is her DEAL? Does she even realize what she did?”

It will take that “bucket list item” first-ever stake-out, revelations through flashbacks and a not-quite-the-knockout-it-might-have-been finale to sort this mystery out.

It helps that Ryder, Tju, Gallagher, Teague and Mulroney are just as good at personifying generational foibles as they are at delivering the generation gap putdowns.

And director and co-writer Eli Horowitz, a veteran of TV’s “Homecoming,” throws in just enough curveballs to keep us guessing and just enough generational jabs to make the script kind of funny and kind of mean-spirited.

If he gets a handle on how feature films should finish — a common failing of filmmakers making the series TV to cinema leap — he’ll be one to watch.

Rating: R for language throughout and brief bloody images.

Cast: Winona Ryder, Brianne Tju, John Gallagher Jr., Owen Teague and Dermot Mulroney.

Credits: Directed by Eli Horowitz, scripted by Matthew Derby and Eli Horowitz. A Vertical release.

Running time: 1:30

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Book Review: Stanley Tucci’s Film Foodie’s Memoir, “Taste: My Life Through Food”

I’m sure fans of the character-actor/gourmand Stanley Tucci can be forgiven for starting his new food-and-film memoir by flipping back to the 20th and final chapter to the “news hook” of the book.

He had a mid-COVID battle with cancer, the kind that threatened his ability to speak in that mellifluous, urbane sophisticate’s tongue or taste with that epicurean oenophile’s mouth. Once we’ve reassured ourselves that Tucci is fine and can get back to his ever-in-demand film and TV career, and his “Searching for Italy” via its cuisine for CNN, we can relax and enjoy the hell out of the anecdotes, recipes and breezy charm of “Taste: My Life Through Food.”

Longtime fans picked up on Tucci’s continental tastes long before his many TV chat show appearances and later series (Anyone remember “Through the Grape Vine?” on PBS?) revealed that side of his life.

His breakout film, 1996’s “Big Night,” still taught in acting and film schools as the classic “You want a break? Write and direct your own!” indie film went far too deep into Italian cuisine for that to be an accident.

Tucci recalls how that came about, not just the filmmakers he shadowed and studied under (Alan Rudolph, and Rudolph’s teacher, the great Robert Altman), but the chefs his eventual co-star in “Big Night,” Isabella Rossellini, suggested he visit and also shadow.

Inspired as a struggling young actor by “Babette’s Feast,” which he tucked into at a New York art cinema, recollecting his work as a college years bartender at a famed New York Italian eatery (Alfredo’s), he vowed to make a movie that captured “how a restaurant’s structure mirrored that of the theater. The kitchen was ‘backstage,’ which, during a a lunch or dinner rush, was its own mad biosphere filled with frantic humans barely controlling flames and blades. Simultaneously, the dining room was ‘onstage,’ where some of the same humans, after walking through a swinging door, instantaneously became cool, calm and collected.”

Fine dining, he discovered, was vigorous prep and rehearsal, costume and performance.

“Taste” isn’t a simple, straightforward memoir. Tucci gives us a generous helping of his childhood, enthralled by having his constantly-busy mother all to himself watching “The French Chef with Julia Child” as a boy, his mother commenting on Child’s dishes, tastes and personality as she ironed.

I’ve interviewed Tucci a few times over the years, and the voice you get in person is the one that sparkles off the page here — light, informed, relaxed, a kind and polite man of cultivated refinement, a genuine cosmopolitan at ease with the world and the pleasures his work and off-camera pursuits affords him.

We hear just enough about his family’s Calabrian history, how his grandparents and other relatives escaped Italian poverty to come to America and thrive, bringing their native cuisine with them. There are scores of recipes he inherited from his family included in the book, and a few Stanley Tucci twists on traditional Calabrian this or that, or classic cocktails.

The man likes his food, and his wine and his martinis. That joie de vivre spills onto the pages of this playful book.

“I first visited Cioppino’s (in Vancouver) about twenty years ago when I was making a film for which I was well paid and which no one should ever see.”

Tucci is as self-deprecating about his film work as he is tactful about not naming the dogs on his resume.

He name drops like the grand raconteur he is, charming stories of touring to promote “Julie & Julia” with his regal co-star Meryl Streep, and leading her into a foodie misadventure, whisked to doctor visits by his charming chum Ryan Reynolds, who almost flabbergasted a doctor into removing his chemo-treatment feeding tube — malpractice territory.

Although Tucci goes into some depth about on-set catering and its myriad (national) shortcomings, there isn’t all that much about his career or personal life. We remember that his first wife Kate succumbed to cancer, that he met his literary agent second wife Felicity at her sister Emily Blunt’s marriage to that Krakowski fellow at the Italian villa belonging “to some guy whose name rhymes with ‘George Clooney.'”

But another memoir will have to go into more depth about his college years, struggling New York stage actor era and breakthrough in film. The glories of “Taste” make you want to read such a book.

Long passages of recreated conversations of his childhood or with his own kids about food are almost cute, and take some of the privilege out of what reads like a seriously privileged life. And being one of those eat-most-anything fanatics, some of what he cooks (piglets) or eats on location (Minke whale and puffins in Iceland. PUFFINS!) suggests that he’s a bit too willing to buy a restaurant or chef’s declarations of “sustainable” or “humanely prepared.”

He might have been the biggest Julia Child fan on the set of “Julie & Julia,” although director Nora Ephron could have debated that. Tucci also turns the reader on to Child’s best British rival, the traveling, cooking and prattling on in glorious, off-the-cuff, drink-whilst-one-cooks Keith Floyd, a long gone chef whose TV episodes are immortalized on Youtube.

Tucci’s star-struck reaction to dining with the great Italian icon Marcello Mastroianni as the great man filmed “Pret-a-Porter (Ready to Wear)” for Altman in Paris, his frank and funny F-bomb laced reactions to this or that extraordinary dish from assorted restaurants in Italy, New York, Iceland or Paris, his friendship with chefs who helped him master this or that — roast pig, etc — make for a grandly entertaining read, a celebrity memoir you’ll want to hang onto.

I mean, it’s got recipes. Tons of recipes. Including his own “perfect” martini.

“Garnish with either 1 or three olives (never 2) or a lemon twist.

“Drink it.”

“Become a new person.”

Yes. But maybe not one who eats puffins, dear man.

Taste: My Life Through Food, by Stanley Tucci. Simon & Schuster. 291 pages, $28.

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Netflixable? You’d have to be good and “Blasted” to get much out of this Norske Nonsense

A couple of old friends — one of whom never outgrew their laser tag champions past — are all that stand between Norway and the light-sensitive alien zombies who would infect the country, from fjord to shining fjord, in “Blasted.”

That simple premise takes over an hour to set-up in this leaden, lumpenproletariat loser of an action comedy.

That opening hour introduces our nebbish investment advisor “hero,” gathers up four guys for his bachelor party in the woods — one of whom is a grating, gauche client he wants to land and another a laser tag partner he abandoned ago — and shows us, via a vlogger’s visit, the alien tech presence in Norway’s “Mysterious Lights (UFO) Valley.”

That endless prologue and boredom that comes after the prologue hath not laugh one in it. I kid you not.

The upshot? A cast of not-remotely-colorful “types” is hurled into action against humans taken over by green-glowing alien “juice, and the estranged laser tag team must put aside their maturity gap to save the day. Or not.

Sebastian (Axel Bøyum) just wants to impress a rich, hard-drinking, short-attention-span new client (André Sørum) by inviting him to his mild-mannered bachelor party in Hessdalen Valley, a party he now has to soup up to keep this dude from bailing on him.

Boring pals Audun and Pelle (Mathias Luppichini, Eirik Hallert) won’t be enough to keep Kasper the rich douche distracted. Luckily, unbeknownst to Sebastian, his wife-to-be has invited Peter Pan Syndrome in the flesh, Mikkel (Fredrik Skogsrud) as well. He’s just gonzo enough to enliven things, they and we hope.

Their reunion isn’t funny, Sebastian’s “Boner” nickname isn’t explained, but thank heaven, alien zombies amongst the local yahoos come after them after everybody else in that valley, with only the lads and the very pregnant sheriff (Ingrid Bolsø Berdal) to save them.

It’s goofy enough, once it gets going. Or almost goofy enough. Frankly, this film is so slow you have my permission to alter the playback speed Netflix helpfully provides in your lower right hand corner.

There isn’t enough here — one “Hey, Joe Exotic, just chill” (in Norwegian with subtitles, or dubbed into English) — to really make this count as a “comedy.”

The clash between the rich guy with his bespoke one-of-a-kind “Flux Repeater” powered supercar (looks like a Trans Am with extra ground effects) and these “normal” guys isn’t much, the whole “UFO Tours” in the town thing abandoned without anything funny coming from it and the aliens, led by the first scientist “possessed” by them (Evelyn Rasmussen Osazuwa) aren’t made that interesting.

They are, however, the first zombies to know how to shoot back in a paintball fight. And the effects aren’t bad.

“Blasted” is a laser tag fight that ends prematurely because every idiot accidentally points his gun at himself right at the start.

Rating: TV-MA, violence, profanity

Cast: Axel Bøyum, Fredrik Skogsrud, Ingrid Bolsø Berdal, André Sørum, Mathias Luppichini, Eirik Hallert, Rune Temte and Evelyn Rasmussen Osazuwa

Credits: Directed Martin Sofiedal, scripted by Emanuel Nordrum. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:55

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