BOX OFFICE: “Zootopia” Reigns, “Freddy’s” falls off a Cliff, “Ella McCay” Bombs

It’s the calm before the latest “Avatar” storm weekend at the movies.

A few titles of modest ambition are rolling out, “Five Nights at Freddy’s 2” is still making money — although not nearly as fast or as much as “Freddy’s 1.”

And “Zootopia 2” reigns supreme, adding another $26.5 million to its already-staggering tally, a film that’s on track to perhaps catch the live-action “Lilo & Stitch” as the biggest hit in North America this year.

“Freddy’s 2” earned a whopping $64 million on its opening weekend, awful reviews be damned. The Numbers confirmed its second weekend at $19.5 million. That’s a staggering 70% falloff driven by word of mouth.  Anything over 60% is a cold slap in the face.

Wicked: For Good” is still making money, and it better, as awards season is not likely to be generous with it. $8.5 million this weekend.

The Indian wide release “Dhurandhar” is in the top five earning $3.5.

Who on earth is still going to see “”Now You See Me Now You Don’t” in theaters? It’s inexplicably in the top five taking in another $2.47.

The only new wide release this weekend is probably the final film of “Broadcast News/As Good as It Gets” director James L. Brooks.

He’s been an Oscar bait writer-director going back to “Terms of Endearment,” but he hasn’t made anything anyone needed or wanted to see in this millenium. “Spanglish?” Adam Sandler was merely the worst thing in it.

At 88, Brooks tried to serve up a feel good dramedy about a young, idealistic politician who gets things “fixed” despite the hellish media landscape for anybody going into politics today. But “Ella McCay” doesn’t get it done. I’m not the only one who panned it. Brooks is going out with the worst-reviewed movie of his career. As I caught it in an empty theater for a Thursday matinee, the $4 million it Deadline.com originally projected  is Gone with the Wind. $2.2 now.

“Jujutsu Kesen: Assassin” and “Eternity” and “Hamnet” all take up spaces in the second five.

The re-release of Stanley Kubrick’s overkill epic “The Shining” may end up eighth or ninth, with “Hamnet” tenth.

None of the more limited releases coming out — a remake of “Silent Night, Deadly Night,” “Dust Bunny,” etc., will so much as ripple the waters.

Figure on “Predator: Badlands” and the re-release of the “Kill Bill” saga falling out of the top ten as they shed theaters.

“Avatar: Fire and Ash” rolls out next weekend, and that’s projected to devour $100 million or more on its opening weekend.

As always, I’ll update these figures as more data comes in Sat. and Sunday.

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Movie Preview: Angel Studios Boldly Weighs in on Human Migration — “I Was a Stranger”

If they’re doing exit interviews of the folks who attend their faith-based films, “Sound of Freedom” Angel Studios probably knows how old, white and rural/conservative their audience is.

Their movies are promoted in Protestant churches, after all.

But they’ve followed their most profitable film with movies celebrating those who fight back against Nazis and other heroes who embody the true teachings of Christianity.

And now they’re tempting the MAGA fundamentalist audience with a movie that humanizes people being shunned or “Disappeared” in dictatorships all over the world, from Hungary to Florida.

Omar Sy plays a human smuggler who transports Syrian refugees to Europe, for the right price, and who faces his crisis of conscience in this endeavor that preys on the desperate.

Jan. 9.

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Movie Review: Spending “Eternity” with…Miles Teller?

It’s a cheap shot to label “Eternity” an “endless” romantic comedy that only seems to go on and on forever and ever. But a script with 60 minutes worth of cute/sweet ideas about marriage and the afterlife — none of them that original — demanding 114 minutes of our time can rightly be described as its own form of cinematic torture.

It’s more thought-provoking than profound, rarely amusing but sentimental when it works, which isn’t anywhere near half the time.

And you can’t sit through it without remembering that nobody showed up to “Top Gun: Maverick” to see Miles Teller.

“Eternity” is an Elizabeth Olsen star vehicle in which she must choose — after death — whether to spend “Eternity” with her first great love (Callum Turner of “The Boys in the Boat” and “Masters of the Air”), who died in combat, or the man she married and made children, a family and a life with for 65 years (Teller).

In cinephile shorthand it’s “Always/A Guy Named Joe” meets “Defending Your Life” and the most obscure title of all, Alan Rudolph’s wistful fantasy “Made in Heaven.” And despite spending lots of time, energy and production cash on a sort of Pixar-inspired polytheistic/mass market realization of the afterlife, it’s more boring than any of its antecedents.

The one-liners are weaker than the sight gags and the great-loves-of-her-life plot rarely warms up enough to make the sale.

An elderly couple, charmingly played by Betty Buckley and Barry Primus, gripe and grouse their way to a grandchild’s “gender reveal” party for the baby that’s on the way. The long, slow Volvo wagon ride to the event is peppered with bickering over what “kids these days” celebrate — “Graduation from kindergarten?”

The “Seinfeld” shtick comes to an abrupt end when elder Larry dies. As Joan is terminally ill herself, at least he won’t have long to wait.

In heaven? No. He’s in the um, waiting area — The Junction — a vast complex of hi-rise condos overlooking assorted transit stations, escalators and a vast “sales” floor where endless variations of your ideal afterlife are pitched.

“Studio 54 World,,” “Queer World,” a “Man Free World,” “Beach World,” “Classic Pearly Gates,” “Catholic Heaven,” “”Weimar (Germany) World” (“without the Nazis”), “Capitalist Heaven” and “Smoker’s World: ‘Cause Cancer Can’t Kill You Twice” beckon.

Larry can’t choose until Joan gets there. Which will Joan choose? Larry could never convince her to move South, as “We’re not Florida people.” She was more into the mountains. So Larry can’t commit to any afterlife and sign on the dotted line with his A.C. — afterlife counselor (Da’Vine Joy Randolph).

Yes, co-writers Patrick Cunnane and (director) David Freyne’s Big Idea is imagining eternity as one big time-share scam, with high pressure sales pitches and any choice you make “final” and lots of catches in the fine print.

But Larry is forgetting the ribbing he took from his offspring, joker sons-in-law and others at that gender reveal party. Somebody passed around granny’s photo of her hunky first husband, the one who died “in the war.” A “lot better looking” than dad/granddad/great-grandad is the consensus.

Maybe Joan, who like Larry will arrive in The Junction in her “happiest version” of herself, young and beautiful, will choose Luke (Turner).

And once she picks up on what’s going on, Joan gives that some serious thought. Because Luke has hung around this Junction without making his own choice of an afterlife, beginning his “eternity” by waiting for the great love of his life to arrive.

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Movie Review: Forgettable and Regretable –“Ella McCay”

“Ella McCay” is a blandly-titled collection of randomly-scripted expressions of feelings, political frustration, character failings and over-acted monologues interrupting insufferable and incessant voice-over narration.

Its two tedious and under-edited hours play like an aimless attempt at a feel good streaming series most of us would go out of our way to avoid.

We don’t need reminding that “Terms of Endearment”/”As Good as It Gets” director James L. Brooks hasn’t made a movie worth seeing in this millenium. But his heart and motivations are in the right place, with a message that tracks all the way back to “Broadcast News.”

A whole lot of what’s wrong and why we “hate each other” in America stems from a male fear of smart, idealistic and ambitious women.

But this well-intentioned dramedy goes wrong right from the start and careens downhill from there.

Emma Mackey has the title role, playing first a wise and articulate beyond-her-years teen and later as an idealistic politico pushing a benefits-for “Mom Bill” and Tooth Tutor (visiting rutal families to pass out toothpaste, toothbrushes and dental visits to kids) initiatives as the youngest Lieutenant Governor her state has ever had.

The movie is about what Ella had to overcome to get there and her uncompromising “annoying” image that threaten to be her downfall just as she’s promoted to governor.

Brooks favorite Julie Kavner (he produces “The Simpsons”) is our aged on camera and off narrator, the governor-to-be’s secretary and gate-keeper and longtime state employee. Estelle remembers Ella’s idealistic youth as “a better time. We all still liked each other.”

Ella was the teen who confronted her feckless, philandering father (Woody Harrelson) and his enabling wife, her mother (Rebecca Miller) who holds onto the marriage against all logic.

“Please God, spare me LOVE,” teen Ella declares. But she isn’t spared.

Growing up with her fiesty tavern-owner Aunt Helen (Jamie Lee Curtis) Ella finds a future husband (Jack Lowden) in high school, a guy who feeds her ego and supports her unconditionally, as he sees a great future for her.

Adult Ella lost her mother, is estranged from her father and barely in contact with her online gambling guru/agoraphoic brother (Spike Fearn). “Ella McCay” is about a cascade of personal and political crises that descend on her the minute the popular governor (Albert Brooks) accepts a cabinet appointment in Washington.

He’s the one who reminds her how “annoying” a smart policy wonk like her is among politicos that spend all their time raising money to get themselves re-elected. And she is young and smart enough to point out to him why America descended into gridlock long before it embraced fascism.

“You can’t be popular and FIX anything!”

Ella staggers from one time-sucking personal-becomes-political crisis after another with only her aunt and her state police driver (Kumail Nanjiani) to confide in. Literally every other man in her life is a lifelong problem (her self-serving/”forgiveness” begging father) or fresh set of political and personal fires to fight.

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Next screening? Thursday date night “Ella McKay”

I haven’t liked a James Brooks film on this millennium, but hey. No Adam Sandler this time.

Call that a “win” anyway.

Maybe I’ll catch “Eternity” or some such as well.

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Movie Preview: Father Brendan Gleeson and Daughter Claire Foy, “H is for Hawk”

This Jan 26 release is based on a memoir by Helen Macdonald.

Great pairing. With a goshawk.

Looks promising.

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Series Preview: Bernthal & Tessa,  Cop & Reporter,  “His & Hers” takes on a Murder Mystery

A couple of my favorite actors paired up for a January thriller.

As it’s a series you can bet they will tease and cliffhanger out a 95 minute idea into six episodes.

Jan. 8.

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Movie Review: Korean Canadians, Kimchi and OkCupid — “The Mother and the Bear”

“The Mother and the Bear” may be the cutest thing branded “Korean” since BTS, or even the Kia Soul.

Sure, it’s a Canadian indie dramedy by a Chinese-Canadian filmmaker. But writer-director Johnny Ma brings an outsider’s view and respect for Korean manners, mores and Kimchi to this wistful fish-out-of-water romance.

Ma (“Old Stone”) taps into melodrama and magical realism for this adorable, feel-good mash-up of “While You Were Sleeping,” “Eat Drink Man Woman” and “The Wedding Banquet.”

The Korean ex-pat Sumi (Leere Park) has started a new life in Winnepeg, Manitoba, which newcomers nicknamed “Winter-Peg” generations ago. She copes with the snow and the cold and kind of ignores her mother’s endless calls from the Old Country. And then spies a bunny in an icy alley and notices what the bunny was hopping away from just as she was trying to snap a photo.

A bear causes Sumi to slip and hit her head. That brings Mrs. Sara Kim (Kim Ho-jung), a widow who runs a Korean guest house, over to see her comatose 26 year-old and get a taste of the compassionate and competent Canadian health care system in action. Dr. Jenny (Samantha Kendrick) gently reassures the mother as she puts Sumi in a medically-induced coma to aid her recovery.

Mrs. Kim, with a little boost from her Winnepeg sister Minji (Susan Hanson), starts to piece together her daughter’s life as she unpacks and decorates Sumi’s new/old apartment. No food in the fridge? Time to make Kimchi! No photos of family? Here’s a framed shot of Dad Sara flew over to park on her daughter’s mantel. But that window she keeps closing against the cold? That’s to let the cat in, she discovers. Eventually.

What Sumi really needs is “a husband to take care of her,” Mom thinks. That Korean hunk (Jonathan Kim) she bumps into, slack-jawed, and then faints in front of in a market will do. He takes her to the hospital. He must be a DOCTOR. No, “but my girlfriend is.”

Guess who turns out to be that doctor girlfriend? Guess what Mrs. Kim discovers when she ducks into the Tasty Seoul restaurant? Why, it’s the hunk’s Dad (Lee Won-jae), who disapproves of his boy’s choice of gorgeous blonde mate. And guess what comes about

Writer-director Ma tacitly acknowledges age-old “marry your own kind” racism that’s rife throughout Asia as a way of sidling into the bigger “disapproval” that we know is coming. He manages to avoid having the parents conspire to bust up the son’s relationship so that he’ll be ready to rebound with a nice Korean-born woman fresh out of a coma. What Ma conjures up instead is a “swipe right” scheme stage-managed by folks too old to know social media well but certainly old enough to know better than doing what they’re doing.

Yes, there are predictable twists aplenty in this script. But Kim (“Emergency Declaration”) takes her rare chance for a leading lady turn and runs with it. The easy laughs come from what we figure out and untraveled Mom doesn’t figure out about the daughter, from Sara’s naive appreciation of the many “other” uses of a boxed vibrator she unlacks and the ways she clumsily takes selfies of her Kimchi preps (a grand montage for foodies) and lets a young nurse coach her in the traditions of “swipe right” culture.

Sara gripes about “this AWFUL city” to Sumi’s friend and children’s art center co-worker (Amara Pedroso), frets over the Manitoba Maulers that bury her borrowed SUV under snow pretty much daily and decides that she can’t find jars for her Kimchi off the shelf — unless she buys gigantic jars of pickles — which she dumps to reuse. But this trip to an alien culture and the expats within it, with its daily visits to a sick child, is her way of coming into her own.

I love the taste of Winnepeg that “The Mother and the Bear” provides. I used to visit the hometown of Neil Young and the Bachmans of BTO on a regular basis when I lived just across the border, and all I remember about it was the even-colder-than-North-Dakota weather, the Chinese restaurants and jelly donut shops on every corner and the friendly people.

But dear Johnny Ma — dear, dear Johnny Ma. Using “Unchained Melody” for Sara to sentimentally sing along with — ironically or unironically — is cheating. Moviegoers have been crying over that tune since “Ghost.”

So yes, you will giggle at this quaint comedy and be charmed enough to want to reach out and pinch its adorable cheeks. But bring a hanky. I’m just saying.

Rating: unrated, adult subject matter, some profanity

Cast: Kim Ho-jung, Lee Won-jae, Jonathan Kim, Amara Pedroso, Samantha Kendrick and Leere Park.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Johnny Ma. A Dekanalog release.

Running time: 1:40

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Movie Review: “Merv” is the Canine Couples Counselor for Zooey and Charlie

Zooey Deschanel’s image was cast in tinsel way back when she co-starred in “Elf.” So if you’re making a holiday movie for Xennials to get sentimental over, you could do a lot worse than the perpetually perky wide-eyed pixie in bangs forever playing the “New Girl.”

In “Merv,” Deschanel takes second billing to an adorable terrier mix for a comedy about a couple struggling to move on or “just put aside our crap for Merv,” a dog who’s lost his spark because his humans broke up.

Paired up with Brit Charlie Cox, Marvel’s “Daredevil,” in the same bangs she’s famous for and in a shorts-skorts wardrobe one could swear she wore in “500 Days of Summer,” etc., Deschanel finds herself without a lot that’s fresh or fun or new to play, right down to the holiday setting.

But how many times can you rewatch “Elf?”

Anna (Deschanel) split from Russ (Cox) some months back. But the joint custody of their dog Merv is leaving the rescue pooch depressed. As Anna has to be tricked into dating by friends and Boston elementary school teacher Russ won’t let his principal (Chris Redd) set him up, they’re stuck and the dog is paying the price.

Maybe a trip South to the dog-friendliest beach in the world would do Merv good, Russ figures. Dog-friendly motels, canine-inclusive dining? As what dogs love most is being around other dogs, it’s worth a try.

Kure Beach it is! No, the “real” Kure Beach isn’t in Florida. It’s in N.C. I remember. I spent a week there one day. Didn’t notice any dogs. But never mind that.

Russ plays hooky from school but posts “Mervinator” dog vacay updates on Insta. That’s what makes opthalmologist Anna take a break to join them.

His parents (Patricia Heaton from “Everybody Loves Raymond” and Brit David Hunt) live nearby. So does a flirtatious blonde single mom/dog mom (Ellyn Jameson).

Even with endless pop and X-mas pop (The Eels?) tunes on the soundtrack, a spirited Barenaked Ladies sing-along and all the doggie puns you can eat — “Bark-a-rita” drinks, “Mutt Loaf” dog entres, “Bow-Oke” canina karoake and the like — there isn’t much to this. But you know what Xennials say about Florida.

“You go on vacation, but come back on probation.

And trying to cross the viewer up by reaching a climax and drifting into anti-climax isn’t the cleverest trick in the bag of the screenwriting team that gave us “Suze.”

But when you’re trying to get by on 40somethings acting like 20sethings, almost cute dog tricks, a daft date scene, a line or two worth a grin, some middling sight gags and all those puns, “the lowest form of wit” since 1672, you’ve got to try something.

Rating: PG

Cast: Zooey Deschanel, Charlie Cox, Ellyn Jameson, Chris Redd, Jasmine Mathews, David Hunt and Patricia Heaton

Credits: Directed by Jessica Swale, scripted by Dane Clarks and Linsey Stewart. An MGM release on Amazon Prime.

Running time: 1:45

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Movie Review: Poots and K-Stew film “The Chronology of Water”

Rookie director mistakes mute the effect of a powerhouse lead performance in “The Chronology of Water,” actress-turned-director Kristen Stewart’s feature filmmaking debut.

It’s an unblinking, in-your-face movie of the memoir by Lidia Yuknovich, which has developed a cult following thanks to its frank depiction of making art out of a childhood of abuse and adult life of trauma, addiction and sexual experimentation.

But while one can understand Stewart and her star’s Imogen Poots’ enthusiasm for the writer’s truth, Stewart’s decision to begin her movie by assaulting the viewer for the better part of the entire first act is blunder one.

We’re thrown into the maelstrom of Lidia’s youth and its adult consequences with blurry nudity in the water and images of blood in the pool which was our future writer’s first dream of glory — competitive swimming — and the bullying, “control” and sexual assault by her father (Michael Epp).

It’s graphic and more gross than shocking fever dream of an introduction, and lacking context we’re instantly in over our heads as viewers in a way intended to mimic how shocked and overwhelmed the child and teen Lida must have been.

But Poots’ voice-over narration, a filmmaking crutch often leaned on to suggest “writerly” subject matter, especially in the movies of novice filmmakers, is half-mumbled in the early scenes and that interior monologue dogs the movie from beginning to end.

Set in California, Texas and Oregon, the film is displaced in space and time thanks to the fact that it was filmed in Latvia and Poots plays Lidia from her late teens into her late 30s. When she meets the mentor who would give shape to her budding writing career — “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” author and lifelong “merry prankster” Ken Kesey (Jim Belushi) — we’re on more solid ground about the “where” and “why” if not the “when.”

The abuse of Lidia and her older sister Claudia started early, and the narrative connects us to the aftershocks of trauma to come by showing a recklessness in very young Lidia (played by Anna Wittowsky). A bicycle riding lesson sees her take her hands off the handlebars to “escape” pervert-bully Dad’s control and even injure herself.

His support for her swimming ambitions is just an opportunity to put her down when colleges only offer partial scholarships and “not a’ full ride.” If one lesser Texas school hadn’t approached her, she might never have escaped the creep. “Free” but stoned, drunk and promiscuous with both male and female classmates, she flunks out.

That’s how she follows her fellow escapee — her sister (Thora Birch) to Oregon where her diary-keeping fuels her new ambition. “I want to to write ‘The Sound and the Fury.'” And she’ll do it either as a memoir or a based-on-her-real-life novel.

Professor Kesey sees something in her and allows non-student Lidia into his class/workshop to create a group-written novel.

Go forth, he tells his charges between puffs on a student-rolled joint. “Write some bizarre sentences!”

Stewart wisely keeps all her focus on Poots in “The Chronology of Water,” and the “Frank & Lola,” “French Exit” and “Green Room” alumna does not disappoint. Poots makes even the pretentious passages of voice-over narration, “the yielding expose of a white page” and “I am a woman who talks to herself in lies,” feel lived-in.

As Lidia, she exults in teen triumph in the pool and mourns her stillborn first child from a premature marriage to a passive, sensitive would-be “James Taylor” singer/songwriger (Tom Sturridge).

Epp is perfectly vile as father Mike, whose wife their mother (Susannah Flood) drinks to pretend she doesn’t see the humiliation and sexual assault going on under their roof.

Whatever emotional connection adapter/director Stewart felt for this memoir, she got into the the spirit of the thing in cinematic terms. The book’s notoriety partly came from the naked woman photographed for the cover, and Stewart flirts with exploitation more than once — graphic scenes of Poots shaving to swim and drawing blood, masturbating inspired by the abuse, dabbling in S&M “submission” and teen swimmers facing public corporal punishment by taking a swat on their swimsuited bottoms for every pound they’re “over weight” from their unseen sexist brute of a coach.

Stewart shot the bottom-swatting in a way — girls poking their butts out for “punishment” — that would have gotten any male director canceled to Tristan da Cuhna.

Praised to the heavens in the rareified air of film festivals, “The Chronology of Water” can be more soberly appreciated on general release for Poots’ fearless, put-it-all-out-there performance than for Stewart’s early missteps and her thexploitive mania for the explicit and the repellent, “truth” or fiction.

Rating: unrated, graphic violence, sexual abuse, sex, nudity

Cast: Imogen Poots, Thora Birch, Michael Epp, Susannah Flood, Tom Sturridge and Jim Belushi

Credits: Scripted and directed by Kristen Stewart, based on a memoir by Lidia Yuknovich. A The Forge release.

Running time: 2:08

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