Movie Review: BFFs decide to “Get the Band Back Together” — “The Cosmos Sisters”

I just wasted more time than I should have trying to pin down whether Nora Kaye and Whitney Uland were real life friends since childhood, which is what they play in their new comedy, “The Cosmos Sisters.”

As I’ve seen another film recently made by two actual lifelong BFFs, and which includes home movie proof that this is the case, I thought I onto what could be a movie “trend.” No such luck with these two. And I can’t remember the title of the earlier film either, it turns out.

But Uland and Kaye, who co-wrote, co-directed and co-star in this feather-light indie comedy, are that convincing as super 30ish tight-since-childhood friends who reunite when one has slipped into a funk after her mother’s death.

They finish each other’s sentences, chant catchphrases that were part of their “act” back during “Homecoming Halftime,” share pot brownies and they burst into songs that they used to perform together as “The Cosmos Sisters,” each in a wig the color of a different brand of ice-packs — frozen corpse metallic blue or chemical spill purple.

From the shorthand they converse in to the way they fight — biting, bitter, personal and yet never terminal — you’d swear they’d been doing this for decades.

“That is sooooo 2007.”

That’s the cute thing about “The Cosmos Sisters,” and “cute” will have to do. Because it’s not deep, not insightful and not all that funny outside of the dynamic these two set up on screen.

Nora’s hiding under the covers these days. So influencer/skin-care vlogger Whitney stages a one-woman intervention, at the behest of Nora’s boyfriend (Jake Swain), or so she says.

Th truth is, Nora went through something awful and Brooklynite Whitney was just too busy to show up and be supportive. The fact that Nora subscribes to Whitney’s inane product-review “channel” just makes it sadder.

But now Whitney is prepared to blow in their small town, “take a break from Insta (gram)” and help Nora get through this grief, and maybe help her sort out her late mother’s barn full of “stuff.” That seems suspicious. We and Nora are looking for an “ulterior motive.”

Whitney’s strategy changes when they do a little mini-revival of their “act” from way back when for her Instagram channel, and somebody requests that they do a benefit show for her son, who has cancer.

Whitney’s all “Let’s get the band back together,” Nora’s breaking out her guitar, her boyfriend just wishes she’d clean out her Mom’s barn and Whitney insists on working in time to flirt with a hottie (Madeleine Grey DeFreece), now a pizza deliverer, whom she didn’t give a second look in high school.

“The Cosmos Sisters” tries to surf on the rapport between the leads and their random, seemingly riffed banter.

“You’re going to age sooooo badly!”

“That’s RUDE. But if the Russian filters taught me anything, it’s that it’s probably true.”

Very little here merits more than a smirk, with the lone exception being their visit to a former classmate (Alexander Manuel) whom Whitney dissed way back when, but who’s become a successful musician/producer now. Manuel brings the glower, smirk and comical pop to his single scene that the rest of the movie lacks.

Other than that, it looks like the ladies had fun making this not-quite-funny comedy in Florence, Massachusetts. That, and my hearty congratulations that they got their film distributed it about all the holiday cheer I can offer.

Rating: unrated, profanity

Cast: Whitney Uland, Nora Kaye, Madeline Grey DeFreece, Jake Swain and Alexander Manuel

Credits Scripted and directed by Nora Kaye and Whitney Uland. A Gravitas Ventures release.

Running time: 1:18

About Roger Moore

Movie Critic, formerly with McClatchy-Tribune News Service, Orlando Sentinel, published in Spin Magazine, The World and now published here, Orlando Magazine, Autoweek Magazine
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