Movie Nation

There’s a catch. And yes, it’s funnier than the movie.

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If the shark, depravity and rumored illegality is left out because the group doesn’t want to comment, what is the point? “Official” as in “band approved and sanctioned?” What is the point?

Proof that the makers of “Tolkien” probably chose the wrong parts of his story to emphasize comes the moment Derek Jacobi pops up on the screen. He’s the philologist Joseph Wright who gave the obscure and ancient languages buff J.R.R.Tolkien (Nicholas Hoult) the direction, the course of study that would save his academic career and the background he’d need creating the exotic world, languages and names of Middle Earth in “The Hobbit” and “The Lord of the Rings.”
Their scenes together are touching, funny and such a jolt that you wonder why we’ve spent over an hour on the genteel poverty of J.R.R.’s childhood, the love affair that created the family that he’d keep entertained with stories and the formative bludgeoning that his World War I experiences, in the trenches, had on his dark fantasy epic.
All that background is important enough to touch on. But here it is routine, flatly-written and lacks the electricity and twinkle that a great actor like Jacobi can gives his few scenes.
The against-the-odds love story (Lily Collins plays Edith Pratt) that began in adolescence has a couple of nice moments and one almost-magical one. But the chemistry that would create the romantic ache meant to drive the film isn’t there.
The formation of Tolkien’s first “fellowship,” the quartet of private (“public”) school boys he’d cling to, from his teens into The Great War, rarely rises to pleasant or touching. The other three are blandly cast (Patrick Gibson, Anthony Boyle, Tom Glynn-Carney) and Hoult rarely rises above bland in these drably-directed (by Dome Karukoski) scenes of debating, motivating, teasing, drinking and quarreling.
“Tolkien” is quite aptly framed within the horrors of the trenches, a young, feverish lieutenant at the horrific Battle of the Somme, stumbling along the lines in search of a friend, protected only by his stalwart aide, a wise enlisted man named Sam (Craig Roberts) who won’t listen to his lieutenant’s fatalism.
“If I’m not back, you know where to send my things!”
Flashbacks show us a childhood of want and tragedy, the stern but supportive priest (Colm Meaney) who helped the orphaned Tolkien brothers find a home, where Ronald, as he was called, first met Edith, another orphan brought in as piano playing “companion” to the wealthy widow who took them all in.
We see the classism that leads to scraps at King Edward’s School, Birmingham, the headmaster (Owen Teale of “Game of Thrones”) who solves that by pairing up Tolkien with his tormentor by force.
“Men should be comrades wherever they come from!”
It’s all interesting enough to Tolkien buffs, but the script by David Gleeson and Stephen Beresford is entirely too humorless and starved of high drama to make this lengthy prologue skip by. The odd joke about Wagner’s opera “Das Rheingold” stands out.
“It shouldn’t take six hours to tell a story about a magic ring!”
Well, somebody wasn’t listening to THAT, were they?

“Tolkien” mopes between the dry way stations of the man’s biography, like the dullish opening chapter of a promising “Masterpiece Theatre.” The Tolkien fan, or even casual “Lord of the Rings” aficionado, may wonder “When does C.S. Lewis (“The Chronicles of Narnia”) show up?” That was the MOST formative relationship of his creative life. “When do we get into the meat of turning the important experiences (Not the love story or much of the rest, which feels like “filler.”) into the most popular and influential fantasy novels of all time?
Sadly, “Tolkien” doesn’t.

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for some sequences of war violence

Cast: Nicholas Hoult, Lily Collins, Derek Jacobi, Colm Meaney,

Credits:Directed by Dome Karukoski, script by David Gleeson, Stephen Beresford. A Fox Searchlight release.

Running time: 1:52

“Rainy Day in New York” had better be good. Because Woody Allen will probably never make and release another film. His legacy has been tarred with child sexual abuse allegations, and whether you believe the victim or wonder if this is Mia Farrow’s ultimate revenge, he is finished as a filmmaker, a very old man whose movies were once the toast of Oscar night and which had generations of actors clamoring for the chance to star in one.

His final film opens in Italy, for sure. And a few other markets.

The Brits beat up on this picture when it opened in Jolly Olde. But I’m still fascinated by “origin stories” from the real world of arts, letters and film.

Maybe the Limey tossers got it wrong. We’ll see.

Disney buys Fox, projects get dropped and “Avatar 2” gets pushed back. Again. Is the Mouse having serious misgivings, or is James Cameron just losing interest and hoping they’ll forget it?;Little of both? Maybe Disney is waiting for comic book franchises to cool off before rolling out a tentpole blockbuster sequel. But is anybody dying to see these pictures, still? https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/three-new-star-wars-films-get-release-dates-disney-1208352

Only Zhang Yimou would have the guts to bring an umbrella to a sword fight.

One of the great stylists of Chinese cinema returns to the past and returns to something like his form with “Shadow,” a by turns austere, chatty and gonzo martial arts epic in the tradition of “House of Flying Daggers” and “Hero.”

Its opening acts are so convoluted, intrigue-charged and well, dull, that it’s easy to say that Zhang lost a step or two making that Godawful “The Great Wall.”

Its action climax is so over-the-top that one longs for the simple silliness of wire work — flying fighters, swordsmen and swords women, of decades of martial arts quickies and the Oscar winning “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.”

But “Shadow” is still vintage Yimou, with style and brio and a production design that has been his signature since his career’s beginnings — “Red Sorghum,” “Ju Dou” and “Raise the Red Lantern.”

In China’s mythic past, three kingdoms fought over Jing City. The Yang and Pei dynasty’s teamed up to oust the third rival.

But the Yang kept Jing City, a source of friction. Fortunately, or unfortunately the Pei ruler (Ryan Zheng) is determined to keep the peace at all costs.

“Never speak of a war you can’t win!”

His great commander (Chao Deng) suffered grievous wounds in the war, but he’s all for stirring it up again to win back Jing City.

“No ruler can oppose his people’s will.”

The king won’t hear it, but won’t behead his favorite commander for his insubordination. He just humiliates him, forcing him to cut off his symbolic topknot, taunting him to join his wife for a zither duet and them demoting him to commoner, where he can scheme about doing things his way and actually go play zither duets with his wife (Li Sun). Or so we would believe.

The commander, it turns out, was more seriously hurt than we’d thought. Damned if he hasn’t trained a healthy commoner look-alike to take his place at court and beat the drums of war.

The “real” commander looks like a prophet as the young king promises his sister in marriage to a member of the Yang dynasty, only to get the counter-offer that she (Xiaotong Guan) come on over and become his concubine instead.

The gall of those Yangs. They’ll pay for this in blood, right?

Director and co-writer Zhang burns through over half of the picture with these intrigues, which are both complex and time consuming. It’s almost more fun to focus on the stunning color palette Zhang has chosen for the film. “Shadow” looks like a shadow, a charcoal drawing etched in blacks, greys and whites, with greenery in the exterior shots muted and masked in perpetual rain and fog.

It’s every bit as gorgeous as the greens of “House of Flying Daggers,” the symbolic red and gold of “Ju Dou” and scarlet and black of “Raise the Red Lantern.”

Just as that design and all those subtitles (for non Chinese speakers) come close to putting one to sleep, Zhang springs the action beats of the long third act on us. It is, frankly, nuts, overloaded with ancient Chinese bamboo tech — wrist-crossbow Uzis, Scuba tanks and the like.

And those umbrellas, a way to curve and “bend with the rain” in battle, so “feminine,” yes? What a secret weapon!

I fell in love with Zhang’s films way back when “Ju Dou” debuted at the New York Film Festival back in the last millennium, and “Shadow” does nothing to shake that fandom. It’s not one of his very best, not on a par with “Hero” (Jet Li’s finest hour) or “House of Flying Daggers” even.

But it still becomes a rousing, stately entry in the martial arts genre. Eventually.

MPAA Rating: unrated, bloody as all get out

Cast: Chao Deng, Li Sun, Ryan Zheng, Xiaotong Guan

Credits: Directed by Zhang Yimou, script by Li Wei and Zhang Yimou.  A Well Go release.

Running time: 1:56

Here’s a sentimental family dramedy about a dying woman and the family that lies to her about it and takes her back to China to visit relatives one last time, hopefully without her figuring out the purpose of the trip.

This Sundance film was picked up by A24, so you know it’s good.

And Lulu Wang’s film features goofy rapper/comedienne Awkwafina (“Crazy Rich Asians,””Ocean’s Eight”) as we’ve never seen her before.  Look for “The Farewell” to roll out in limited release later this summer.

Cerebral science fiction is almost by definition pessimistic.

For all that we can speculate and imagine and conceive as within the realm of the possible, that nagging knowledge of human nature, almost unshakeable if not immutable, casts a shadow over hope and puts a dent in dreams of “boldly going where no one has gone before.”

“Aniara” is science fiction cinema from the land of Bergman and Strindberg — sharply observed, just brittle enough to fend of sentiment, bleak when bleak is what is called for.

The Swedish drama — aptly-enough based on a poem — is about a space ship cast adrift, a slow-motion disaster film where pluck and hope get shouted down and human nature is laid bare via “Lord of the Flies” and “Mutiny on the Bounty” touches.

It’s hard not to see this quietly compelling picture as a metaphor for life on Earth today. Heaven knows it’s an easy case to make.

The Aniara is a vast space transport ship, loaded by Space Lift, the space elevator concept we’ve been reading about in recent years, wholly realized.

Cataclysmic opening credits show us an Earth in environmental collapse, and many of those riding Space Lift skyward wears scars. A toddler is asked (in Swedish, with English subtitles) “Want to wave goodbye to Earth?”

“NO.”

They’re leaving behind a failed planet, boarding a vast cruise ship with 21 restaurants, a sauna, bowling alleys and pitching cages, a mall in space — clean, uncluttered and white in the soft glow of artificial lighting.

A motherly figure (Anneli Martini) welcomes all aboard, a video tour guide to the amenities of this Viking Line version of a space ark.

“We wish you a pleasant voyage and a happy new life on Mars.”

Off camera, in her cabin and talking to her roommate (Emelie Jonsson), she is less sanguine.

“I’ve never been all that impressed with people…I hope they all melt into the tarmac.”

The 23 day trip on a roomy ship with algae-cleansed air and an experienced crew should be a breeze. But if it isn’t, the roommate, MR (Jonsson) is hostess for Mima, a “travel to a happy place in your mind” auditorium which customizes VR/”Star Trek” holodeck experiences, allowing MR, for instance, to retreat to the woods near a Swedish lake, walking barefoot, skinny dipping.

She has few takers on Day One of the voyage. That will change.

We’ve seen bits of space junk, and sure enough there’s a collision. The uniformed staff order everybody to “Just lie down,” and when the sharp maneuvers end, offer a reassuring “Now all is in order.”

On the bridge, they’re seeing the point of impact and flashing “Meltdown Imminent” (in English) warning lights.

Whatever the captain (Arvin Kananian) tells them, that they’ve been knocked off course and have lost propulsion, that they’re merely delayed, finishing with “Be thankful for what we have” and “Be there for one another” is a lot less assuring.

Passengers, being human, focus only on the positive, gripe about not being on Mars “for my son’s birthday” and let “Have some snacks, courtesy of the captain” placate them.

MR, sharing her room with the motherly cynic who turns out to be an astronomer, gets the unfiltered truth.

Co-writers/directors Pella Kågerman and Hugo Lilja break “Aniara” into chapters covering the passage of time — “Day One: A Routine Voyage,” “Week 3: Without a Map.”

We see the hapless ride guide hostess MR grow in importance as passengers flock to her “happy place” experience to cope with the stress of the extended voyage. And they don’t even know how extended it may be.

“We’ve built our own little planet,” the captain tells her privately. Help them get used to it.

And they, including MR, do — meeting and mating at the techno-discotheque, training for new “jobs” on board, doing their best to tamp down fatalism and despair.

MR finds sex and love, but The Astronomer — SCIENCE in big letters, in case you miss the metaphor — isn’t sugar-coating anything. Whatever the company-appointed leadership says, she’ll pass along the straight dope to anybody who asks.

Jonsson, the downbeat ship’s officer Isagel (cq) played by Bianca Cruzeiro, Kananian and  Martini each shine in giving us narrow pieces of human expression — optimistic but frightened (Jonsson), determined-to-maintain a facade (Cruzeiro), fatalistic and power drunk (Kananian) and just fatalistic (Martini) get their moments in the spotlight.

“Anaira” shares its plausibility, story arc and much of its tone with the bloodier and more melodramatic “High Life,” which is winding down its limited release run just as this one opens. But the Swedish film scores over the earlier one in its straightforward treatment of the subject, its production design and in more ambitious dissection of human nature.

But both are parables, microcosms of isolated society parked in the uninviting vastness of space. “Aniara” may have a dour Swedishness about its outlook, but with every day’s dire warnings about mass extinctions, dying oceans and a grim future chased off the front page by royal births and moronic tweets, you have to figure they’re onto something.

MPAA Rating: R for strong sexual content, graphic nudity, disturbing images, and drug use

Cast: Emelie Jonsson, Bianca Cruzeiro, Arvin Kananian, Anneli Martini

Credits: Written and directed by Pella Kågerman and Hugo Lilja, based on a Harry Martinson poem.  A Magnet/Magnolia release.

Running time: 1:46

This is how the future looks — ScanDesigned, Strindberg-dark and bleak.

Oh yeah.

“Aniara” opens next week.