Movie Nation

The time-honored actor/actress tradition of “if Hollywood won’t hire me, I’ll make work for myself” is the origin story of “Apartment Troubles,” a nearly laughless comedy that doesn’t do its writer/director/stars any favors.
But cute character comics Jennifer Prediger (“Life of Crime”) and Jess Weixler (“The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby”) convinced Jeffrey Tambor, Will Forte and Megan Mullally to come on board their “Two Broke Eccentric Girls” farce, so that’s something.
Nicole (Weixler) is a wildly unstable artist who never sells anything, and Olivia (Prediger) is an actress who never acts.
The landlord of their slovenly-kept illegal sublet (Tambor) has had enough. When he ducks in to avail himself of their shower, he realizes their power has been turned off.
“We’re choosing to live without electricity!”
There’s no food?
“We’re on a CLEANSE right now!”
Since those are the film’s funniest lines, you can guess it’s all downhill from there. Absurdly unlikely events put these two paupers on a private jet from New York to L.A., into a car for a “lift” driven by a loony-perv played by Forte and into the home of a rich reality TV producer/aunt (Mullally).
A vapid, tired riff on LA via a dinner party — You’re an artist? What do you do? “I’m working with a lot of SAND right now.” — a broad and brief TV talent show goof, and they’re done. As are we. It’s over so quickly, yet the pity is it wasn’t more quickly.

MPAA Rating: unrated, adult subject matter, some profanity

Cast: Jennifer Prediger, Jess Weixler, Jeffrey Tambor, Will Forte, Megan Mullally
Credits: Written and directed by Jennifer Prediger, Jess Weixler. A Gravitas Ventures release.

Running time: 1:18

Budapest, Hungary, has a serious PR problem thanks to the movie “White God.” The film, a grimly dark satire, depicts a city of serious dog haters — from ordinary apartment tenants intolerant of canines, to the homeless who steal them, to the Gypsy underground which trains them to fight to the death and the ruthless legions of dog-catchers who swarm in on escaped animals.
Standing alone against this sea of Hungarian hound hate is Lili (Zsófia Psotta). She’s 13, her parents are divorced and her big mutt Hagen is her best friend. But when Lili is forced to stay with her bitter ex-professor dad, now reduced to being a meat inspector at a slaughterhouse, Hagen is not a part of the deal. Dad puts up with the dog only until a busybody neighbor lies to the authorities to get Dad (Sándor Zsótér) into trouble. Fed up with the dog and Lili’s growing defiance over it, he dumps Hagen in the street.
“White God” — the title seems to be a play on Sam Fuller’s “White Dog,” a film about a girl whose pet was raised to attack black people — is mostly about Lili’s efforts to find her beloved dog, the awful odyssey Hagen endures when he joins the ranks of Hungary’s strays, and the possibility of revenge when those strays escape. The film’s opening image is of Lili, a teenage “white god” at the head of a vast pack.
Co-writer/director Kornél Mundruczó allows for a little anthropomorphism when a Jack Russell terrier mutt takes Hagen under his wing and into a street pack. But when animal control swoops in on a SWAT-style raid to round up the strays, Hagen is on his own. Stolen, sold, brutalized, trained and injected, he becomes a dog fighter. And that’s not a pretty sight.
Meanwhile, Lili’s defiance has her quitting the youth orchestra where she plays trumpet, roaming the city on her bike, searching. A musical pun — Liszt’s “Hungarian Rhapsody” is a piece she’s learning, and also features in a Tom & Jerry cartoon that plays on a TV in the animal shelter, calming the dogs about to be euthanized.
A quote by the poet Rainer Maria Rilke opens “White God” — “Everything terrible is something that needs our love.” But that goes for the film, too. Who will want to see a movie so focused on dogs, in which they’re brutalized and killed?
Perhaps the satiric laughs came easier in Budapest, in the original Hungarian (with English subtitles).

MPAA Rating: unrated, with graphic violence, mostly involving dogs.

Cast: Zsófia Psotta, Sándor Zsótér, László Gálffi
Credits: Directed by Kornél Mundruczó, written by Kornél Mundruczó, Viktória Petrányi, Kata Wéber. A Magnolia release.

Running time: 2:01

In her native Denmark, director Susanne Bier makes intimate, emotional and even allegorical dramas such as “After the Wedding” and “In a Better World.”
In Hollywood, she’s a little lost, shoehorned into flat melodramas such as “Things We Lost in the Fire” and her latest, “Serena.” A period piece that offered most of those involved a chance to try something new on the screen, it just lies there, a blood-stained bore that never quite gives away a reason for it to exist.
Bradley Cooper plays a Depression Era timber baron racing to clear cut the mountains before the Feds turn the land into the Smoky Mountains National Park. He’s not subtle about his rapaciousness. By the time that park is announced, he declares, “There won’t be a tree standing.”
He’s almost as cavalier about his rural workforce. Pemberton Lumber is an accident-prone enterprise. His loyal aide, Buchanan (David Dencik) may forgive, his mysterious, superstitious hunting guide (Rhys Ifans, creepy) may understand. But the man’s mania for milking this land for all that it’s worth so that he can then head to Brazil where he can wipe out the rain forest is myopic.
Then Serena, a Westerner who grew up in timber wealth, crosses his field of view. Played by Jennifer Lawrence, she is a flinty, forest-wise woman who knows how to ride a horse and whose marriage will be more a partnership than a life of leisure.
“I can assure you, Mr. Buchanan, I didn’t come to the Carolinas to do needlepoint.”
She solves their rattlesnake bite problem (a tamed eagle, sent off to hunt them) and shares Pemberton’s life and business and bed.
But he earlier impregnated a hill woman, which complicates things. His accounting is suspect and there are bribes floating around to keep the Park Service at bay. Toby Jones plays the mistrusting local sheriff.
There’s just a hint of Appalachia today in the exteriors — the dead trees that pepper the slopes now, but not then. Much of this was shot in the Czech Republic, where a rough-hewn, newly-cut timber town is realized.
Cooper and Lawrence get to do things on horseback, swing an axe like they’ve done it before and play intimate scenes that they’ve never had the chance to show off on screen. They don’t create much heat. Neither has to do an accent here, only Ifans has to play a real man of the mountains.
But there’s not much to this, between the bloody lumbering and hunting “accidents,” no urgency or passion to the story or the performing of it.
Bier takes on this “mysterious world” as just that, but her alien’s eye-view offers no insights. And whatever Ron Rash’s novel had to offer, Bier has rendered it into something soapy, with everything compelling about it washed out.

MPAA Rating: R for some violence and sexuality

Cast: Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, Rhys Ifans, Toby Jones
Credits: Directed by Susanne Bier, written by Christopher Kyle, based on the Ron Rash novel. A Magnolia release.

Running time: 1:49

Kevin Hart finds himself shoehorned into a Will Ferrell buddy comedy in “Get Hard,” a politically incorrect romp that only rarely romps.
It’s a “Trading Places” variation, with Ferrell as James, a top dollar fund manager busted by the Feds and set to go to prison. So he turns to someone for help in acquiring survival skills for “inside,” to “Get Hard” enough to not be killed. How’d he pick Darnell, the small businessman from South Central who runs an executive’s car wash service?
“I was being black,” Darnell (Hart) tells his wife (Edwina Findley Dickerson).
Ferrell and his team of writers play around with this familiar salt-and-pepper combo to expose the arrogant, prissy one percenter/Harvard Business School alum to African American culture and his prejudices about it. Hip hop, Lil Wayne wardrobe, trash talk and slang, James studies up. Not that he learns to see past his prejudices, any more than the film does.
The joke about Darnell is that he’s anything but “hard.” He’s a doting daddy with no police record,, But he takes a big chunk of cash from James to school him, converts the man’s Bel Air mansion into a version of San Quentin and fakes his way through how to eat, carry yourself, defend yourself and how to act in “The Yard.” That involves Hart imitating black thugs, Chicano prison gangsters and Yard queens.
Darnell takes a few tips from his genuinely hard Crenshaw cousin (T.I.), toys with James’ Afro-phobia and their shared homophobia in the training. “Get Hard” minces into places it shouldn’t in the process.
But that’s largely the point here — crossing lines no one else still crosses. Gay pick-up practice, gang initiation is spoofed (clumsily), a racist white gang mocked and confronted. Generally, this movie doesn’t so much invert stereotypes as embrace them. Very retro.
It’s hit or miss material, with Ferrell playing it stiff and goofy and Hart straight-jacketed into a character that is rarely top drawer Kevin Hart funny. One gag that works, the Hispanic servants at James’ mansion giddily get into playing fellow inmates who torment their insufferable, super rich boss. One “lights out” riot (strobed) is a hoot.
Craig T. Nelson is the too-obvious villain, but John Mayer scores as a self-aware/self-mocking version of his lady killer image.
Ferrell is as fearless as ever, stripping down and looking foolish, willing to be out-of-touch and out of step. Hart has his manic moments.
But in this buddy comedy, the buddies are not equal and that limits the laughs.

writer-turned-director Etan Cohen
MPAA Rating: R for pervasive crude and sexual content and language, some graphic nudity, and drug material

Cast: Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart,  Alison Brie, T.I., Craig T. Nelson
Credits: Directed by Etan Cohen, script by Jay Martel, Ian Roberts and Etan Cohen. A Warner Brothers release.

Running time: 1:40

British funnyman Simon Pegg brings a humorous edge to his dark turn as a private eye/hired killer in the Aussie thriller “Kill Me Three Times.”

It’s kind of a “Blood Simple” from Down Under, with a love triangle, crooked cop and murderer for hire all up in each other’s business.

So he’s got the M. Emmett Walsh role.

Pegg has another “Mission: Impossible” movie due out this summer, a third “Star Trek” on the way, lots of other work in the can. Busy lad.

I have some ideas about lines of questioning — the essentials in any hitman’s lifestyle — fu manchu mustache, 1960s Old Toronado — all black wardrobe. You know, stuff that lets him blend in on the edge of the Outback.

And zombie questions. Etc.

But you? Got a suggestion for something you’d like to know about Nick Frost’s friend? Comment below.

Hard to work up a lot of enthusiasm for this week’s big screen offerings.

“Insurgent” never overcomes the cynical hackwork “commissioned” YA novel —  cut and paste formula fiction without an original thought in it — that was its source. Robert Schwentke’s film is more straight action, which doesn’t hide characters who are cardboard cutouts by design. I like Naomi Watts and Octavia Spencer’s inclusion in it, and the twists in the third act.

But “Natural” Girl Next Door Shailene Woodley has discovered makeup, and lip gloss.  The Revolution will never be the same. Widely panned, “Insurgent Daughter of Divergent” will swallow up the box office, but not be a red letter entry on anybody’s resume.

Will it clear $50 million? Probably.

Sean Penn doesn’t work often, but the chance to shoehorn in some of his big political worries — Corporate Collusion in Third World exploitation, CIA manipulation of governments to benefit Big Corp –– in a formula hitman thriller got his interest.

“The Gunman” has solid action beats, decent characterizations, predictable conclusion. I think the mid-60s Alfa Romeo Giuletta that he “borrows” to make an inconspicuous get away steals the movie, and stops it dead in its tracks. Panned pretty much across the board.

“Tracers” may be the Not awful, him or the movie,last chance Taylor Lautner has to star in an action pic.  Not awful, him or the movie, but his box office appeal is gone baby gone and this limited release is all we need to know about his declining fortunes.

The best reviewed limited release of the weekend is a “Fargo” tribute, “Kumiko the Treasure Hunter.” Sort of a film festival favorite, it’s about a young Japanese woman confused into hunting for the ransom cash she sees buried in the snows of Minnesota in the movie “Fargo.” Daft, deft, dark.

“Do You Believe” is one of those movies that turns Christian filmmakers into liars. As in, “We can’t screen this for critics, it’s not ready.” Liars. It is opening in over 1300 theaters, is from the same people who made the angry, victimhood embracing “God’s Not Dead.” It could do well, but the Christians releasing it are liars.

Junk horror (“Ghoul”) and horror spoofs (“Zombeaver,” “The Walking Deceased”) also flesh out a weekend where not a lot is opening wide. Wish I’d seen The Police documentary, but you cannot get to them all.

If Hollywood was to adopt “The Walking Deceased” business model, they’d never spend another dime on actors, known writers and L.A. film crews for a horror spoof.
It would be the end of the “Scary Movie” phenomenon, as we know it.
Because “Walking Deceased,” a broad, low parody of “The Walking Dead,” “Zombieland,” “Warm Bodies,” “28 Days Later” and the entire career of George A. Romero, is no worse than most of those.
If you’ve ever seen a zombie movie or TV series, you’ll get the jokes — such as they are.
There’s a nerdy, virginal kid (writer Tim Ogletree) who narrates the story and gives us the “rules” of zombie land. He hooks up with a survivor of the zombie apocalypse dressed and acting like Woody Harrelson and calling himself “Chicago” (Joey Oglesby). Last name? “Style Pizza.”
“Romeo” (Troy Ogletree) is a “vegan zombie,” dreamily staggering through a Texas mall where survivors have gathered, narrating his romantic narration in his head.
“It’s hard to push open sliding doors with zero motor skills.”
Then there are the siblings, Brooklyn (Sophia Taylor Ali) and the nonspeaking Harlem (Danielle Garcia).
Deputy Sheriff Lincoln, who has survived a month-long coma, hunts for his son, whom he insists on calling “Karl” when his name is “Chris.” Two “Walking Dead” gags in one. Andrew Lincoln plays Deputy Grimes on “The Walking Dead.”
The funniest thing in the film may be the kid’s survival strategy. He’s running a strip club, with zombies and his momma pole dancing for tips.
It seemed wittier on the page, with the Romeo/Romero puns and know-the-credits jokes with names and characters. Strictly low-hanging fruit, even for a lame horror parody. But after seeing it, you really do wonder if Hollywood will ever make another if they can do no worse with no budget attempts like this.

MPAA Rating: unrated, nudity, graphic violence, language

Cast: Tim Ogletree, Joey Oglesby, Sophia Taylor Ali, Troy Ogletree, Dave Sheridan
Credits: Directed by Scott Dow, written by Tim Ogletree. An Arc Entertainment release.

Running time: 1:23

Since we’ve seen this killer’s blackouts and dizzy spells, viewed his X-rays and heard a doctor tell him to avoid any more concussions, head trauma or even loud noises, we know what constitutes “stupid.”
But naturally, that’s exactly what Jim Terrier (Sean Penn) does, a guilt-ridden man whose efforts to atone for his past sins count for nothing when those sins come home to roost.
In “The Gunman,” Penn shoehorns a few of his pet causes — non-governmental aid organizations (NGOs), CIA interference in the Third World and multi-national corporate misconduct — onto an utterly conventional assassin-hunted-by-assassins thriller.
It works better than it should, because the high mileage Penn playing a high mileage killer is an easy fit, and Penn’s got chops.
But “Gunman” plays like a vanity project for an actor long past his vanity project age. With every shirtless moment (he even surfs, in the Congo), every dramatic drag on his ever-present cigarette, every scene with the do-gooder doctor who “got away” (Jasmine Trinca), Penn tests our reserve of good will.
Terrier was the trigger man in the team shooting of a Congolese official who was interfering with rapacious multi-national mineral corporations. Eight years later, he’s digging wells to get fresh water for the villages there. And that’s when assailants show up to get him.
Revenge? A desire for his silence? Terrier makes improbable escapes, implausible ones and preposterous ones as he ventures from London to Barcelona and Gibraltar is search of answers.
Winstone’s the old pal, Javier Bardem plays the old romantic rival who “got the girl.” Mark Rylance is a savvy old colleague and a mysterious Idris Elba flicks away at a pricey cigarette lighter, not revealing his hand until the third act.
I like the hard-boiled dialogue, even the preachier stuff.
“Not all of us wanted to turn our sin into profit.” “Do you keep a diary of all the horror we created?”
Bardem and Rylance stand out in the cast, with Elba and Winstone reduced to set-dressing roles. Penn does his best Liam Neeson in the lead, a hard “ex special forces” type who wipes out whole teams of killers in assorted lovely Spanish settings. The violence is very bloody and personal, and Penn has never had trouble conveying violence.
But the only novelty here is those settings as characters slip into stock “types” and the hard-boiled lines devolve into big speeches, delivered at gunpoint, by hero to villains, and vice versa.
Penn doesn’t work much, and this idea of combining his two careers — as actor, producer and co-writer, and as humanitarian — may have its heart in the right place. But take away the preaching, and this is just Penn’s version of a late-career Mel Gibson movie. He should be better than this.

MPAA Rating: R for strong violence, language and some sexuality

Cast: Sean Penn, Javier Bardem, Jasmine Trinca, Idris Elba, Mark Rylance, Ray Winstone
Credits: Directed by Pierre Morel, written by Don MacPherson, Pete Travis and Sean Penn, based on a Jean-Patrick Manchette novel.
An Open Road release.

Running time: 1:55

Taylor Lautner squanders a little more of his “Twilight” heat on “Tracers,” a B-movie thriller built around the urban obstacle course sport of “parkour.” It’s a stunt-heavy chase picture with some arresting camera work, but not much else to recommend it.
Lautner is Cam, a wildly-skilled bicycle messenger with more than his share of bad luck. He’s lost his parents, is in hock to some Chinatown loan sharks (Johnny M. Wu, Sam Medina) and behind on his rent. Then some parkour-crazed hottie (Marie Avgeropoulos) causes a crash that crushes his bike.
She crushes on Cam and gives him a new bike. He tracks her down, and that’s when he falls in with her crew, guys (Rafi Gavron, Adam Raynor, Luciano Acuna Jr., Josh Yadon) who skitter up walls, scamper over rooftops, hurtle cars and leap, balcony to balcony in an effort to prove they can cover the shortest distance between two points — parkour. It’s also called “free running” and “tracing.” That’s what Cam learns.
It took four screenwriters to concoct this “Point Break” style story, with Miller (Raynor) as the group’s leader and guru.
“There are no limits, my friend, only plateaus.” “The real obstacles aren’t out there. They’re in your head.”
These practitioners use their parkour for heists, one of which is staged with a little verve (the rest, not so much). Cam, with reservations, joins in the lucrative fun.
Lautner seems to do enough of his own stunts to have credibility on a bike or clambering down a wall. He’s charismatic enough to make this work, and director Daniel Benmayor (“Paintball”) has the camera crew chase him through some scenes, an invigorating touch.
But the limp, derivative script and thin supporting cast work against “Tracers.” There’s little heft to the villains, little spark with the leading lady and not much to recommend this aside from those chases and Lautner’s mastery of some of the stunts.

MPAA Rating: PG-13 on appeal for some intense violence, perilous action, sexual content and language

Cast: Taylor Lautner, Marie Avgeropoulos, Rafi Gavron, Adam Rayner, Johnny M. Wu
Credits: Directed by Daniel Benmayor, script by Leslie Bohem
Matt Johnson, Kevin Lund, T.J. Scott . A Lionsgate release.

Running time: 1:34