Movie Review: A Ghost Story that Maybe Gives too much away with its title — “The Ruse”

You’ve got a plot that was clever enough to land veteran character actress Veronica Cartwright (“Sideways,” “Alien,” “The Birds”).

Shooting and editing your film, you can’t wait to get to the third act where you can “explain” its cleverness to death.

And then you kind of give away the game by titling your picture “The Ruse,” implying that things are not at all what they seem. Clever.

Writer, director, producer and editor Steven Mena’s latest is a tepid, sleepwalking tale of a home health care nurse (Madelyn Dundon) stuck in a not-that-spooky lakeside house with a haughty, demented and ill-tempered retired orchestra conductor (Cartwright) who is sure her late husband Albert “visits” her.

Was Albert behind the previous nurse’s (Kayleigh Ruller) disappearance? What we’ve seen in the opening scene suggests as much.

But even though Nurse Tracy vanished without quitting or even saying goodbye, Nurse Dale needs the “second chance” this ordeal-of-a-job promises. She’s ever so eager to get back to work after something unfortunate happened on her last assignment.

Her controlling live-in boyfriend (Drew Moerlein) disapproves. She’s ogled by the delivery guy (T.C. Carter) who tries a tad too hard every time he shows up with food or whatever at the remote home in rural Maine. Then there’s this single-dad neighbor, Tom (Michael Steger), who shows up at the darnedest times — in the middle of a blackout thunder storm, for instance — to “just see if you needed help.”

His little girl (Nicola Jeanette Silber) is the only blunt, cards-on-the-table character in this world.

“I give you three days, tops,” she chirps. The place is “haunted,” she insists. She’s seen the “ghost.” And when she leaves, she doesn’t tell Dale “Good bye.”

“Nice knowing you” is the best line in the script.

Cartwright is in fine form as an invalid who boasts of her full life, insults Dale’s underachieving (by comparison) 28 years and has been labeled “OCD” by an earlier nurse, in addition to her respiratory and dementia problems.

But she’s not scary by herself. And this movie slow walks its away through no real jolts at all before backing into a third act built around a rural Maine cop (Michael Bakkensen) who is a regular Sherlock Holmes at leaping to the wrong conclusion, leaping again and tumbling into some solution that he insists the police are entirely too clever to “miss.”

Writer/director Mena (“Bereavement,” “Brutal Massacre: A Comedy”) has made half a dozen films now, and a few people might actually see this one, as it stars Ms. Cartwright.

The production values are good even if the performances surrounding Cartwright are a tad tentative, low-heat and low-energy. And as he edited this, the funereal pacing is on him, too.

Still, if your thriller’s quick enough and cryptic enough, viewers won’t notice it’s not remotely as clever as you thought it was. But when you title your ghost story “The Ruse,” you’ve already given away that.

Rating: R, violence

Cast: Veronica Cartwright, Madelyn Dundon, Michael Steger, Drew Moerlein, Kayleigh Ruller and T.C. Carter

Credits: Scripted and directed by Stevan Mena. A Seismic release.

Running time: 1:40

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Movie Preview: Sister Cate Blanchett’s an Aussie taking interest in “The New Boy” in her orphanage

This Cannes competitor is a 1940s period piece with a heavy dose of magical realism in the plot.

Aswan Reid has the title role, with Deborah Mailman in the supporting cast.

Tiny distributor Vertical has this, so we’ll all have to hunt to find it when it hits theaters. “Soon?”

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Movie Preview: Chris Evans, Aubrey Plaza, Charlie Day and “Honey Don’t” Margaret Qualley — a Coen “Brother” film

A tale of kinky Southwest Christianity and an “accident” that wasn’t. Along with other violence.

Qualley the high-heeled detective in a ’72 Chevell convertible, Evans a pastor who with a taste for dangerous sex and Plaza the guardian of the evidence locker.

Ethan Coen directs and co-wrote it. No Joel Coen to be found.

August 22, this hits theaters.

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Movie Preview: Veronica Cartwright’s new nurse learns her house is haunted — “The Ruse”

Kinda creepy looking?

This comes out May 16.

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Movie Review: “Another Simple Favor” lapses into Long, Laughable and Ludicrous

Whatever dangerous edge 2018’s “A Simple Favor” had is giddily tossed aside for “Another Simple Favor,” a goofy acceptance that bringing these two ladies back for another round of cat lioness and mouse games was never going to be “logical.”

The killer thriller about the mysterious, rich and beautiful changeling Emily (Blake Lively) and her envious, admiring and gullible new “friend” Stephanie (Anna Kendrick) morphs into a farce about an absurd “reunion” arranged by the acquisative social-climber/killer Stephanie outed, outsmarted and put in prison in the first film.

“Another” is a jokey, wisecracking comedy with just the occasional murder, a movie of “true crime” podcasts, a best-seller that isn’t and endless extravagant costume changes — Blake Lively’s “brand” — set against the glories of the gorgeous Italian island of Capri.

Ah, what the hell? It’s almost summer, right? Here’s your “beach read” movie of the season, served up on Amazon because who’d have the patience to sit through this in a multiplex?

A couple of credited screenwriters and our stars keep the banter slicing and sassy and “Simple Favor/Bridesmaids” director Paul Feig guides us from laughs to laughable to ludricrously long in a dramedy that outstays its welcome, and then some.

Single-mom Stephanie got a popular podcast and a book out of that near-death experience with Emily. But when we catch up with her, the book-tour is almost-going-bust. A public reading and book-signing is the perfect place for the woman she knew as “Emily,” but whose real name was “Hope,” a cunning, marry-for-money black widow with a twin named “Faith,” to show up.

“Prison?” Her latest sugar daddy got her out. Hard feelings? Nooo. Not even about the book.

“I feel like you left out all the good parts!”

A little zippy and very public repartee, with a few f-bombs and c-words thrown in because that’s as “edgy” as this mess gets, and Stephanie agrees to be maid of honor for “the woman who tried to murder you.”

One crowded private jet flight to Capri later, Stephanie realizes Emily’s marrying not just Dante (Michele Morrone) and not just money, but into the mob. And with a rival mob in the ceremony, along with a venomous mother of the groom (Elena Sofia Ricci), the ex (Henry Golding) Emily/Hope tried to kill as a drunken, embittered wedding guest, a hapless FBI agent (Taylor Ortega) and the mad mother (Elizabeth Perkins) and sketchy aunt (Allison Janney) of the bride in attendance, things are pretty much guaranteed to turn messy and even bloody.

The comedy is supposed to spin out of a lot of situations and characters, but mainly plucky little Anna Kendrick’s playing of a mousy fish out of water, casually insulted by the insensate rich, under suspicion by many as Emily’s “stalker” and a murder suspect in her own right.

“Crime’s your kink!”

Not to worry. These are the ITALIAN police we’re talking about here.

But Kendrick can land only so many zingers on her own, and while supporting players Janney, Perkins and Alex Newell (playing Stephanie’s literary agent) grasp for giggles, they evaporate like bubbles in wine that’s rapidly going flat.

The picture devolves into random rants, a masturbatory murder in a shower and scene after scene after scene of gorgeous Blake Lively swanning around in the gorgeous costumes of Renee Ehrlich Kalfus.

And whatever interest — and laughs (those HATS) — that holds isn’t enough to distract us from guessing plot twists a dozen scenes in advance or from giggling at how Feig and screenwriters Jessica Sharzer and Laeta Kalogridis stumble through a “How do we END this mess?” debate, one which Feig clumsily slaps on the screen without bothering to edit.

Rating: R, violence, some nudity, almost constant profanity

Cast: Blake Lively, Anna Kendrick, Alex Newell, Michele Morrone, Taylor Ortega, Lorenzo de Moor,
Elena Sofia Ricci, Allison Janney and Henry Golding.

Credits: Directed by Paul Feig, scripted by Jessica Sharzer and Laeta Kalogridis, based on characters created by Darcey Bell. A Lionsgate/MGM release on Amazon Prime.

Running time: 2:02

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Movie preview: An Artist Flees an Unhappy Home for the Big City — with her Pet Flying Squirrel — “Bound”

This drama is a “festival darling”  that Freestyle picked up for wide release May 16.

Another shot in the culture wars? Looks intriguing.

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Series Review: Ewan and Charley are Back in the (Motorcycle) Saddle for the “Long Way Home”

One of the distinct pleasures of the streaming TV era is renewed every time old friends Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman mount up for another epic motorcycling trek in their “Long Way” series.

The latest, “Long Way Home,” plays up their easygoing rapport and personal charm as they travel from Scotland through the Netherlands, into Scandinavia, above the Arctic Circle, and back down via the Baltic states — 17 countries “in our own backyard.”

McGregor, who just turned 54, and Boorman (59 in August) started doing these shows twenty years ago. They’re older and give themselves less of an exploring “challenge” than they did on the arduous and epic “Long Way Round,” in which they motorcycled around the world, through Europe, Siberia and Mongolia and North America, “Long Way Down,” where they ventured south through the Middle East and Africa to South Africa, or “Long Way Up,” where they rode electric motorcycles up to LA from Tierra del Fuego at the bottom of the Americas.

Boorman, an actor and the son of the famous filmmaker John Boorman (“Excalibur,” “Deliverance”), is the more avid biker and the one with many more awful crashes under his belt, and the stitches and metal reinforcements in his busted bones to prove it.

McGregor’s film and series TV career has made him a familiar face around the world squeezes in these jaunts between bigs. You have to wonder what sort of insurance he carries.

Here, the idea is that the two fiftysomethings will ride “tempermental” 50 year-old bikes — McGregor’s vintage Moto Guzzi Eldorado California Highway Patrol cruiser, and Boorman’s more practical (lighter, higher ground clearance) BMW R75/5.

The “Long Way” series is more of a travelogue than any of the similiar “Top Gear/Grand Tour” treks as these two actually meet people, tap into local customs, brush off fame — “You’re in movies, no?” — and cheerfully camp and bike over some of the most striking scenery on Earth.

“Long Way Home” has them camping beside a Dutch windmill, visiting a 900 year-old Viking church, ax-throwing, stripping for a seriously “traditional” Swedish sauna, freezing their bums off in June snow-flurries in “awe” inspiring  Norway, flying up to Svalbard Island, motoring through Finland into Estonia before making their way to France and “home.”

They crack up and crack each other up along the way — “Tick check!” — roughing it and falling over and poking fun like the two old mates that they must be.

“What a strange couple of guys we are,” they say. But not really. They’re just blokes, pals, mates — actors, one more privileged than the other, more “collectors” and “enthusiasts” than guys who can do all their own repairs.

But a few bent frame parts is how they get help from Malmo, Sweden’s “Odd Luck Garage” bikers’ club. Checking out Scandinavian seaweed cuisine is how they meet a couple of traveling musicians busking and gigging around Europe, with McGregor breaking out the ukulele for a little song himself.

They make sure to stop in Copenhagen to visit the world’s largest nonprofit NGO warehouse, a gigantic UNICEF facility (McGregor and Boorman are both celebrity ambassadors for UNICEF), a little righteous plug of the sort you won’t see on those other road trip series.

They pause to chat up Hugo, a Swedish lad of 17 with a low-rider Volvo wagon that’s “learner’s permit” limited to 30km per hour, try a little “day drinking” with jolly German shooting club members, take dips in the Baltic and see the best scenery in Denmark and many of the other places they visit, driving hairpin-turn roads through all sorts of weather.

Every now and then, we get to be impressed by the Rivian electric trucks (barely mentioned in this series, perhaps there was no endorsement deal) that they’ve used as support vehicles since “Long Way Up.” Much of the world learned about Rivians through their “Long Way” exploits.

The production values on these shows has grown more polished over the years, with lots of drone shots peppering this one as they roll up on some guys filming a flight-suit stunt off the walls of a fjord or head farthest north to Spitzbergen, island of “Ice, Snow and Bears.”

There’s little drama — no hint of McGregor’s messy personal life as the shows rattled through a messy divorce — and no “staged” crises juice up the narrative. There’s a sense of leisure in these programs, allowing more immersion in this experience.

And there’s a sentimentality about how these two have stayed close and stayed on bikes as they did. The last couple of series have shared a sort of finality, as if the unspoken “We’re getting too old for this” is a big reason for take off a couple of months for one more (less grueling) 7500 mile ride.

Snippets of their earlier adventures are edited in as Boorman and McGregor reminisce over this magical or comical moment or that past test of man and machine.

“Long Way Home” may let us hope they haven’t read the end of their “road” together. But it may be coming on the time when one or both is ready to switch to from two wheels to three.

Rating: TV-PG, a touch of nudity

Cast: Ewan McGregor, Charley Boorman, David Alexanian, Russ Malkin and Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Credits: Directed by David Alexanian and Russ Malkin. An Apple TV+ release.

Running time: 10 episodes, @:37-:50 minutes each

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Movie Preview: Stephen King serves up horror with fascist overtones — “The Long Walk”

Garrett Waering, Charlie Plummer, David Jonsson, Roman Griffin Davis and Ben Wang are among the younger stars of this “Hunger Games: Walk Until You Die” compeition, and Judy Greer, Mark Hamill and Michael Ironside are also in the cast.

Sept 12, only in theaters.

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Movie Preview: Judo, sexism and Iranian theocracy collide on and off the mat — “Tatami”

The co-directors are the star of “Holy Spider” and the direct of “Skin.”

And their star is most famous for the most recent incarnation of “The L Word.”

In theaters June 13.

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Movie Preview: “Gabby’s Dollhouse: The Movie,” animates TV toy kitties in San Fran, chased by Kristen Wiig

Laila Lockhart Kraner is Gabby, in case you didn’t know. Gloria Estefan plays her San Fran granny.

Wiig going full Cruella? I could totally see that. Sept. 26

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