No more Sir Bedivere, Rest in Peace, Terry Jones

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Britain’s funniest comedy troupe just lost one of its most reliable laughs.

Comic, director, mustache-wearer, cross-dresser, Medievalist, history buff and wicked wit Terry Jones has died.

Time to rewatch “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” which he decreed and directed and co-starred in with Eric Idle, John Cleese, Michael Palin,Terry Gilliam and the late Graham Chapman.

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Lovely man. Got to interview him about “Life of Brian” when an anniversary edition DVD came out some years back. That interview is reprinted below.

A real polymath, curious about the world, remembered for his laugh, his lisp, his dresses and his many enthusiasms.

He died just days shy of his 78th birthday.

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Monty Python’s Life of Brian turns 25 this year.

Mel Gibson chose 2004 to release The Passion of the Christ.

Coincidence?

“Some might see it that way,” Brian director Terry Jones says with a conspiratorial chuckle.

“Life of Brian,” you say to yourself. “Wait a minute. Wasn’t that the movie Gibson set out to spoof with his Passion? About a martyred prophet in ancient Judea, a real mama’s boy unjustly crucified?”

BLASPHEMY!

Well, you could see it that way. Pythonists certainly do.

“Life of Brian” returns to theaters (including the Enzian in Maitland on Friday) in all its hilarious, once-controversial glory.

And its director, Jones, now 62, couldn’t be more thrilled. Any connection between Brian’s re-release and the most popular movie of the spring?

“None a’tall,” he sniffs. Besides, he says, “We got there first.”

We believe him because Jones isn’t naked. For once. And he isn’t wearing a dress. Or so he says.

But we have no way of knowing. He’s on the phone from London. And you know how those Monty Python lads can be. Especially Jones.

“I was quite shy as a boy,” he huffs. “And I’ve used my adult life to compensate for that.”

And how. The cross-dressingest, buck-nakedest Python also played the “non-virgin” mother — OK, “mum” — of the martyred non-prophet Brian in the 1979 film. It’s about a lusty but hapless young Jewish, or maybe Roman, revolutionary (Graham Chapman) who gets mixed up with the anti-Roman politics and the messiah circuit in B.P. (Before Python) Jerusalem.

“A religious satire that targeted the corruption of Christ’s message rather than Christ himself,” as critic Leonard Maltin remembers it. But he was pretty much alone in making that distinction. A movie that ends with a singalong on the crosses of Calvary is going to stir some folks up.

The Roman Catholic Church condemned Brian. Rabbi Abraham Hecht of the Rabbinical Alliance of America declared that it was “produced in Hell.”

Brian was banned in some countries and didn’t play in some districts of the United Kingdom for years.

And in the United States, Robert E.A. Lee of the Lutheran Council called Life of Brian “a disgraceful assault on religious sensitivity.”

Well, some people thought it was funny. But in any case, an awful big stink for a $4 million movie made by a bunch of TV comics rather too fond of dressing up like ladies.

Brian came to life when some members of Monty Python had the idea of sending up early Christian history.

Pythoner Eric Idle suggested Jesus Christ, Lust for Glory, playing off the British title of Patton: Lust For Glory, Jones recalls.

“The more we worked on it, the more interesting and outrageous it became. We reread the Gospels, changed the story to Brian, a contemporary of Jesus. We realized, very quickly, that the real humor lay not in what Christ said, but in the fact that 2,000 years after Christ, you’ve got everybody still killing each other because we can’t get together on how we should worship and accept his message of peace and love.”

In other words, people were misunderstanding the message of Jesus, right from the start. “Blessed are the cheesemakers,” one character thinks he hears Jesus say off in the distance during the Sermon on the Mount.

Python and future Brazil director Terry Gilliam did the exceptional biblical production design, “but we lucked out in shooting in Monastir, Tunisia, the same place Franco Zeffirelli made Jesus of Nazareth,” Jones says. “A lot of the same sets were still there. Just had to dress them up a bit.

“Of course, it also meant that you could be shooting your version of the Sermon on the Mount, and some elderly Tunisian extra would say, ‘Well, that’s not the way Zeffirelli did it.’ ”

Just as the film was about to start shooting, the production company, EMI, lost its nerve and withdrew funding. Idle called on his friend George Harrison to help. Harrison backed the movie and made a second, post-Beatle fortune doing it.

“George is actually in the film, just after Brian appears in the window, naked,” Jones says of a famous, much-censored moment in Brian. “You go to an interior scene in the kitchen, like the backstage of a rock concert, everybody wants a piece of Brian, a moment of his time. And John says, ‘This is Mr. Papadopolous. He’s renting us the Mount.’ He pushed George Harrison into the shot. He says ‘Hello.’ But it wasn’t even George’s voice. Mike Palin did his George Harrison impression in the [sound] looping session.”

As with the TV show, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, the six main members of the troupe played multiple roles. The tall, thin “Minister of Silly Walks” John Cleese plays a revolutionary, a centurion who corrects Brian’s bad Latin grammar as he paints anti-Roman graffiti, and a Pharisee.

“John as a Pharisee, a role he was born to play.”

As director, Jones plays fewer characters, though of course, one is naked. He’s the hermit in the hole.

“When I was playing the hermit in the hole, I’d do my shots first.

“I got there, stripped, did my stuff. Graham got there, and we did his stuff with me.

“Then, the crowd arrived and we were moving them around through the afternoon. I was directing them, and Michael came up to me and said, ‘Uh, Terry, you do realize you’re stark naked, don’t you?’ I’d completely forgotten!”

Eventually, every Python winds up in a dress.

“We kind of reached our zenith in drag, I think, in the stoning scene. We didn’t think it would work. You’ve got us men playing women renting beards so that we can be disguised as men, because only men are allowed at stonings.

“We’d tried it with just women in the scene, but several of the guys said, ‘Nah nah nah. We really want to do it.’ ”

And the rest, as they say, is history — $20 million at the U.S. box office alone, to say nothing of millions more in late-night showings, video and DVD sales, and overseas earnings.

And the Pythons? Graham Chapman died in 1989, but may return to life in the form of a bio-film, Gin and Tonic. Idle, Palin, Gilliam, Cleese (Q in the James Bond movies) and Jones have remained active. Jones does books and TV series about knights, chivalry and assorted other matters medieval.

Idle is writing a stage-musical version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail that premieres this coming winter.

And the lads can be counted on to get together, now and then, for some benefit show or the other. The most recent was the “Concert for George,” a tribute to the late Beatle and Brian producer. The Pythons showed up and sang “The Lumberjack Song.”

“It’s so hard getting us all together anymore that we were only able to manage to get me, Mike, Eric and Terry Gilliam. We had to hire Tom Hanks to be John Cleese for the night!”

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Next screening? “The Gentlemen”

Guy Ritchie directs a gangster picture. Sold. Hope it’s good, as it opens Friday. Or Thursday night.

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Movie Preview: Issa Rae, Lakeith Stanfield and others look for love in “The Photograph”

The Valentine’s Day romance looks like “Valentine’s Day,” without the laughs and an all African American cast. Courtney B. Vance is one of the other big names in it.

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Movie Preview; Annette Bening is British, and Bill Nighy is about to leave her in “HOPE GAP”

Screenwriter (“Gladiator”) turned director William Nicholson wrote and directed this end of a marriage melodrama, due out Mar. 6

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Movie Review: It’s just the “Two of Us (Deux)” but maybe we should tell your family

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Nina has a pointed question for Mr. Bremond, the realtor offering to help her neighbor, Madeleine, sell her home in Moselle, on the French/Luxembourg border.

“Mr. Bremond,” she fumes (in French, with English subtitles), “Do you have a problem with old ‘dykes,’ ‘lezzies,’ LESBIANS?”

No. Of course not. You can’t be judgemental in real-estate! Not in France!

So why, Nina wants to know, turning to Madeleine, can’t you tell your FAMILY about us?

“Two of Us” is a romantic tragedy about a loving couple, together for decades and having lived across the hall from other for years and years. They’re retired, now, and making plans to travel and to simplify life by making themselves a one-apartment couple.

Only Madeleine (Martine Chevalier) can’t make herself “come out” to her adult children. And Nina (Barbara Sukow), slightly younger and German, is exasperated by this.

The consequences of that fear, hesitance and indecision will batter them both over the course of this simple, emotionally harrowing debut drama from director and co-writer Filippo Meneghetti.

Madeleine — “Mado” to Nina — wants to tell her divorced daughter Anne (Léa Drucker) and son Frederic (Jérôme Varanfrain) at a little birthday gathering for her. We can see it in her eyes, hear it in her “I have something I want to say.”

But even though she desperately needs to get this out in the open, even though she has promised Nina time and again that she will, she cannot.

Neither child has a clue, but her testy son has accused her of cheating on their late father, and moments after she backs out of speaking up, he lets another “You couldn’t wait for dad to croak” crack.

For Nina, it’s not the cowering that hurts. It’s finding out from the realtor that Mado backed out of the sale. She plainly lost her nerve. Nina is furious.

She’s still fuming when she stumbles into the smoky apartment where Mado has left food burning. She’s been rushed to the hospital. She’s had a stroke. She cannot speak. Her eyes have the vacant stare of the insensate.

And Nina, dashing to her side, has no legal or social standing. Daughter Anne is puzzled. The health care system is quite firm. Nina is shut out, growing more desperate to elbow her way back into Mado’s life and care for the woman she loves.

Meneghetti, who co-scripted this with Malysone Bovorasmy, takes just enough time to let us see what love looks like. Madeleine and Nina share their days on walks, their nights dancing barefoot to “their song,” an Italian cover of the pop standard, “I Will Follow You.”

Then, this is dashed. But maybe not. If only Nina can get to her, get past her family and then the caregiver they send her home with, look into Mado’s eyes and jar her memory.

The ordeal is told strictly from Nina’s point of view, with Mado (Chevallier is a veteran of French film and the Commedia dell Arte) giving us the barest hint that the character can come back from this. Nina is sure she could “save” her and their love, if only…

Sukowa (“Gloria Bell,” TV’s “Twelve Monkeys”) plays up Nina’s desperation as the script makes her cunning enough to seek ways to make this work out for them, no matter what the family might think.

Drucker, seen in Fox TV’s “War of the Worlds,” is the picture of subtlety as Anne makes the journey from woman without a clue to woman who starts to pick up on clues. She lets us see Anne do the math, lets us see Anne trying to hide her epiphany.

The film’s brevity means some ideas are under-developed. But what we’re left with is a sublime and sublimely simple portrait of a love that’s been lived in and the devotion it will take to ensure that endures.

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MPAA Rating: Unrated, adult themes

Cast:Barbara Sukowa, Martine Chevallier, Léa Drucker, Jérôme Varanfrain

Credits: Directed by Filippo Meneghetti, script by Malysone Bovorasmy, Filippo Meneghetti A Magnolia release.

Running time: 1:35

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Netflixable? Shooting it out in Albania with “The Brave”

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One can imagine those old pros Louis Mandylor (“My Big Fat Greek Wedding”) and Armand Assante (most recently in “The Deuce,” but he goes back to “The Lords of Flatbush” and “Private Benjamin”) sitting together in the makeup trailer for “The Brave.”

Maybe there was some chuckling, a few jokes about making a movie in “BFE, Bulgaria.”

Somebody might have turned philosophical. “We ALL end up making shoot-em-ups in BFE, Bulgaria!”

That’s what “The Brave” is, a cops-vs-drug-lord thriller with some heavy-duty shoot-outs, and WAY too much chatter between them. It’s set in Albania — with lovely second unit work “establishing” that locale. But it was actually filmed just across the Balkans, in Bulgaria, where all this mayhem is unleashed.

Mandylor plays Rei, the US-educated Albanian cop with a quick trigger and a quicker temper. Assante is “Franco,” the Italian-American mobster who runs this dirty drug empire on the muddy boot-bottom of Europe.

The police boss — played by Igor Jijikine (who’s played more Russians than #MoscowMitch) — lectures his troops on what they’re embarking on.

“We are takink bayek Albania! Trust een the LAW, een Justice, een your people!”

Jijikine has a lot of lines in this Marco Balsamo script (Balsamo is an actor, look for “Seba”), more than I can ever remember this Indiana Jones heavy having in a movie. That’s one of the problems, here. Everybody has too many lines.

Rei’s “team” includes the mysterious Elena (Ravshana Kurkova) and others.

Every time they think they’ve got the bad guys cornered, Franco outsmarts them. That big raid on the manikin factory? It’s empty, with Franco sitting in an office chair, waiting on them to show up.

“Listen,” he purrs, “Whatever blows your dress up!”

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The conceit here is that everybody speaks English with some sort of vague Slavic accent. Mandylor’s comes and goes. Assante, being Italian-American, doesn’t have to work at it.

Lots of Eastern European actors overfill the supporting cast, and they have to speak English, too. With that accent. It just feels off.

What isn’t “off” is the action here. One character bellyaches how Albanians are always “criminals” in the movies (see “Taken,” et al). The world captured here has cops using a CHILD as an informant, wired as he goes into the mob night club, serving as a mob courier.

Director William Kaufman is no Walter Hill, but his shootouts — and there are many — are competent. It’s not a good script and it’s not a good thriller, so this isn’t much better than his earlier efforts (“The Hit List,” “The Prodigy”).

One overriding gripe, other than the endless talking scenes that don’t really illuminate the plot or advance the story, is the body count. Scores and scores are gunned down. Nobody makes a sound. Not one cry in agony, gurgling death rattle or death with any real meat or meaning to it.

Save for the end. But like everything else about “The Brave,” you already knew that.

1half-star

MPAA Rating: unrated, violent as all get-out

Cast: Louis Mandylor, Ravshana Kurkova, Igor Jijikine, Besart Kallaku and Armand Assante.

Credits: Directed by William Kaufman, script Marco Balsamo. A Mercury/Netflix release.

Running time: 1:44

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Movie Preview: “The Rhythm Section,” the final trailer

Blake Lively goes all vengeance thriller in this Jan. 31 release.

Looks good, doesn’t it?

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Movie Review: Time traveling to save Jesus, or shoot him? “Assassin 33 A.D.”

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Faith-based films, as a general rule, are big on emotion and message but lack risk and edge. They “preach to the choir” and play it safe, serving up comfort food for the faithful.

But boy, “Assassin 33 A.D.” doesn’t lack for ambition. By turns prophetic and pious, pistol-packing and profane, it is the nuttiest “Jesus movie” since “Life of Brian.”

And remember, I reviewed the “gay Jesus” satire from Brazil, “The First Temptation of Christ.”

It’s about time travel, commandos armed to the teeth going back to “prove” Jesus wasn’t God, and maybe mow-down a bunch of Roman soldiers and disciples in the process.

It’s nuts.

All the gunplay and bloodshed? Oh yeah, it was filmed in Texas by the writer-director of “Evil Behind You.” Very Texas.

And then one of the scientists (Lamar Usher) who goes back to STOP the commandos runs into Jesus (Jason Castro) in the Garden of Gesthemene. Simon the scientist may be an Ivy League physicist, but he still speaks in the street-slang that screams “urban stereotype” to generations of white screenwriters.

Simon wants to warn Jesus, who being the Son of God, picks up on English 1100 years before it exists.

“I’m from the future. And I’ve seen your movie. Got it on bootleg. Didn’t finish it, though.”

Dramatic pause.

“They mess you up pretty bad…But don’t get bummed out!”

Jesus isn’t bummed, and he doesn’t want this not-the-Apostle-Simon to worry.

“I know what is going to happen.”

Dramatic pause.

“And if you’d finished my movie, you’d know, too!”

Eric Idle couldn’t have written a better crucifixion joke. And he tried. With Our Lord John Cleese as my witness, if I hear a funnier exchange in a movie this year I’ll be tickled indeed.

“Assassin 33 A.D.” has moments of camp like that, and a lot of just bad writing and middling acting to go with its decent production values, heaping helpings of Islamophobia and obscene levels of violence.

Morgan Roberts plays Ram Goldstein, who leads a research team that includes Simon, Amy (Isla Levine) and Felix (Cesar D’ La Torre). They’re scrambling to invent “matter transference.” They want to build the first “Star Trek” transporter for their Arabic boss (Gerardo Davila).

But what does Ahmed want this for? Ram stumbles across the answer, and that runs him afoul of Ahmed’s new ex-military head of security. We’ve seen Brandt (Donny Boaz) survive a car wreck and curse (Ok, not literally “curse”) God for “taking my family from me!” Heidi Montag plays his wife.

Brandt is all too quick to help Ahmed torture Ram when he discovers what they’ve actually invented is a time machine, which Ram wants to keep out of the hands of Ahmed and his terrorist minions.

The film’s first hilarious lines are Brandt assuring everyone that “no one has to get hurt” AFTER we’ve seen him beating the Hell out of Ram.

Ahmed barks, “Keep him comfortable until I return,” again — AFTER the beating — and after we’ve seen Ram’s parents gunned down in front of him as part of “being persuasive.”

Yeah it’s a fiercely stupid movie. They should have stuck to comedy, but that’s a hard sell to the devoted American Christian film audience, especially with Easter coming up.

The bad guys go to the past to mess up the Arrest, Crucifixion and Resurrection, “correcting the greatest deception of All Time — dismantling Christianity!”

Ahmed hates those “Christian scum.” He does. But when he grabs fruit off a vendor’s table in The Holy Land, he’s made his biggest mistake.

“It’s a tomato! So what?”

So, tomatoes wouldn’t be imported to the Old World until 1500+ years later, you ahistorical scum!

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There’s a little biting banter between the atheist scientist Ram and his devoutly Christian colleague/girlfriend Amy.

“Please stop them from killing JESUS!”

“If Jesus is God, he can take care of himself!”

Writer-director Jim Carroll tries to wrap this in “faith-being-tested” and “non-believers converted” homilies. Characters also struggle, as such characters do, to explain the twisty, turny time-lines of time-travel.

But none of that’s as easy as just throwing in another shootout, messing up the timeline further as all these dead people are going to alter ancient history, and future history.

A few effects impress, the gunplay — not so much. The moral leaps many characters make are as risible as the logical leaps forced into the plot.

“Assassin 33 A.D.” may not find its intended audience, and if it does they may not be as gobsmacked at the picture’s goofiness as sci-fi fans who have seen well-made time-travel done on a budget — “Primer,” “Timecrimes,” “Safety Not Guaranteed,” etc.

But then again, maybe sci-fi fans are a better audience for this so-bad-its-funny trip back to Golgotha.

1half-star

MPAA Rating: PG-13 for violence and thematic elements.

Cast: Morgan Roberts, Isla Levine, Lamar Usher, Gerardo Davila, Jason Castro, and Heidi Montag

Credits: Written and directed by Jim Carroll. A Fireside release.

Running time: 1:49

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Netflix makes Bradley Cooper’s Leonard Bernstein bio-pic dream come true

The director of the smash “A Star is Born” rounded up some big time producers for his planned Leonard Bernstein film biography.

Spielberg and Scorsese are the two biggest names.

The famed composer, New York Philharmonic director and popularizer of classical music via TV’s “Young People’s Concerts” might not be the most commercial follow-up for a star and director at his peak. Which might be why he wasn’t able to get this project into a traditional studio’s lineup.

Cooper announced plans to film this in the spring of 2018.

Enter Netflix.

Oh, it’s totally happening now.

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Movie Review: The anime sights we’ll see, “Weathering with You”

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It is a chilly Martin Luther King Day in America’s vacationland, and I am in a suburban multiplex with a couple of anime fans, and maybe a dozen anime apostates, all here for “Weathering with You.”

The latter group know enough to choose to be there, to buy tickets. But like me, they’re not given to swooning over something simply because it wears that “anime” badge. So while I laugh at some of the intentional gags — the 20ish journalist Natsumi who rides the young hero, 16-year-old Hodaka, with “Are you looking at my boobs?” — the rest of the audience is there to remind us of the silly, over-the-top gestures, emotions and facial expressions of this beloved Japanese art form.

This tale (in Japanese with English subtitles, dubbed in some theaters) is a romantic fantasy with a somewhat muddled environmental allegory at its heart. Writer-director Makoto Shinkai (“Your Name.”) and his animators deliver fantastical images — all manner of translucent “fish” which live in the clouds — attached to a story that otherwise could have been filmed with live actors on real sets in Kanto (the region around Tokyo).

But would anybody have given this a second thought if it wasn’t animated?

The story, which takes a solid half hour to set in, follows the runaway Hodaka from the ferry boat, which he almost falls off of during a storm, to the offices of the gruff 20something Suga, who runs a conspiracy news service for magazines, with the fetching Natsumi as his assistant.

“Are you looking at my boobs again?”

Establishing scenes offer a fascinating glimpse of how the down-and-out manage life in one of the most expensive cities on Earth — cubicle-sized apartments, cafes that feature shower services, cheap noodles eaten on the fly in a street-scene whirl of McDonald’s, Starbucks, Kent cigarettes and Suntory ads. The only words he hears from cops or potential employers are “Are you a minor?”

Tokyo is a minefield of exploitation (sex trade, etc.) for homeless minors.

A free Big Mac is how the hungry Hodaka stumbles into a doozy of a story. The McDonald’s girl who slips him the burger, Hina, has this weird gift. We’ve seen her climb to a battered rooftop shrine on an abandoned building after watching over her dying mother in a nearby hospital.

Hina’s prayers are for a break from Japan’s relentless run of rainy days. A beam of sunshine tells her, and us, that her prayers were answered.

A fortune teller relates that there are “Sunshine Girls” and “Rain Girls” who can control the weather. In the age of cell phone cameras and universal internet access, this ancient belief turns out to be easy to “prove,” and make viral.

Hodaka and Hina set up an online “Weather Maiden” service. Want to be certain your outdoor wedding or party comes off without a hitch? Need for it to be a clear day just long enough for your late husband’s spirit to come home on the anniversary of his death? Text her, pay her and she’ll make it happen.

 

The slice-of-Japanese life is one of the best features of anime, not just the photo-real streets, skyscrapers and neon. Traditions and superstitions of the “Spirited Away/My Neighbor Totoro” variety have their charms. You can lose yourself in that, here and there, in “Weathering with You.”

But that’s just background and subtext, and the movie’s text — the unconvincing love story it tries to set up, the melodramatic introduction of a handgun that falls into Hodaka’s hands, scaring off sexual exploiters but putting the cops on his tail.

There’s inherent pathos in the idea of a nation that worships “girls” to an almost creepy extent having these “Sunshine Girls” and “Rain Girls” who can, briefly, in the blush of maidenhood, influence the weather. What happens when they’re no longer girls is where the story attempts to take us.

But the storytelling is slack, and the moments of ditziness can take you right out of the film. The everyday “magic” (shades of “Kiki’s Delivery Service”) is only magical on first sight. The whole TV news broadcasting this or that bit of “conspiracy” or “magic” or proof of this supernatural belief in Japanese life is far more interesting than the meandering story and subplots Shinkai chose to develop.

It’s fanciful enough, but “Weathering with You” is too scattered with dashes of dullness making for many dead spots. It’s not on a par with virtually anything the anime master Hiyao Miyazaki made, and falls well short of the heart of  “Your name.”

It barely passes muster as a time-killer on a chilly day in America’s vacationland.

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MPAA Rating: PG-13 for suggestive material, some violence and language

Cast: The voices of Kotaro Daigo, Nana Mori, Shun Oguri

Credits: Written and directed by Makoto Shinkai. A GKids/Fathom Events release.

Running time: 1:53

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