Movie Preview: Guillermo del Toro and Netflix make Oscar Isaac the Doctor Who Played God — “Frankenstein”

The Oscar winning del Toro gets a Netflix black check to write and direct his take on the monster and the man who made him.

Isaac, Mia Goth, Christoph Waltz, Jacob Elordi and Charles Dance also star.

November

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Movie Preview: Ethan Hawke and Ma Bell return, “Black Phone 2”

They’ll be hard-pressed to match the heartbreaking suspense of the 2022 blockbuster. This snowy October release has supernatural “Elm Street” et al vibes.

No wonder everybody ditched their land lines.

Check it out.

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Movie Review — “Karate Kid: Legends,” down for the Count

Let’s call the standing — or flat on its back — ten count on the “Karate Kid” movies after “Karate Kid: Legends.”

Sentimental father figure martial arts revenge dramas frosted with the honor and code of the Asian fighting arts — honors and codes violated by villains but upheld by our heroes — these pictures ran out of ideas decades ago, not that a TV “Cobra Kai” revival was hampered by that.


“Legends” unites later “Karate Kid” sensei/teacher Jackie Chan with the “original” kid, Ralph Macchio, which will touch those who still appreciate the simplicity and underdog-vs-bullies ethos of 1984’s “The Karate Kid.”

Chan and co-star Ben Wang did the fight choreography, and director Jonathan Entwistle, cinematographer Justin Brown and editors Dana E. Glauberman and Colby Parker Jr. ensure that the martial arts moves are a spectacular blur of fists,” “one inch punch” blows and flying, spinning “dragon kicks.”

But the story is The Same as it Ever Was. There are thuggish bullies who misuse martial arts. And the assorted “kids” and their teacher have to set them straight about what the “art” and discipline are really about.

Ben Wang plays Li Fong, a Beijing boy with the most American accent in Mr. Han’s martial arts academy. His mother (Ming-Na Wen of “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D”) disapproves of the martial arts thing. She’s already “lost one son” to it, she complains to Han (Jackie Chan).

Luckily for Dr. Mom she’s landed a gig in New York. The kid will have to “promise” to give up training and fighting as they move there and he tries to fit in. The accent will be no problem, and no screenplay invention can explain away the boy’s California-fluency.

Li ducks into a pizza joint, gets the “go to Jersey” insult from the owner (Joshua Jackson, formerly of “Dawson’s Creek,” recently in TV’s “Fatal Attraction” series) over his Philistine’s “stuffed crust” request and an aggressively perky vibe from the owner’s daughter (Sadie Stanley), and finds his first New York friends.

Naturally, pizza cook Victor is in hock with a local dojo owner (Tim Rozon). Naturally, Victor used to be a boxer, so he needs “one more fight, maybe two” to get out of debt. Even though he’s pretty damned close to getting that AARP card in the mail, that’s what we’re meant to buy into.

And of course perky daughter Mia used to have a thing with that dojo’s most savage, unscrupulous sucker-punching fighter Conor (Aramis Knight).

Li will “turn you from a stone into a stream,” teaching Victor to “flow” in his fighting, countering the other boxer’s efforts with deflection and popping him with the occasional deadly “one inch punch.” And the 125 pound Li will have to come up with some new tricks if he himself has to fight over Mia.

Li may more than hold his own with groups of thugs who try to muscle the pizza shop owner, punching through the flashbacks where he remembers how his martial artist older brother died in front of him. But if he’s going to train this boxer and get REAL revenge by beating the punk Conor in The Five Boroughs MMA tourney, he’s going to need teachers.

Mr. Han flies in. Then he flies off to find Mister Miyagi’s best pupil, Daniel-san (Macchio). They teach Li a new trick or two in just a couple of days.

Director Entwistle (Netflix’s The End of the F***ing World” was his) keeps the cliches coming and the narrative — such as it is — moving. But there aren’t enough fights in the early going to sustain interest. And the later ones are pretty much pre-determined.

This “Kid” is somewhat better than the one Chan made with Will Smith’s kid several years back, but “Cobra Kai” fans may find the generic plot weighs down the punches too much to add anything new to the saga.

Rating: PG-13, violence, some of it bloody

Cast: Jackie Chan, Ben Wang, Ming-Na Wen, Sadie Stanley, Aramis Knight, Joshua Jackson, Tim Rozon and Ralph Macchio

Credits: Directed by Jonathan Entwistle, scripted by Rob Lieber, based on characeters created by Robert Mark Kamen.

Running time: 1:34

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Movie Review: “Aloha” means “Why Bother?” with this remake of “Lilo & Stitch”

The latest Disney remake of an animated classic makes “Lilo & Stitch” more Hawaiian and less cartoonish. The former might be a big deal, in terms of getting Hawaian culture right and advertising the island paradise-state to tourists. But the latter is an unforgivable omission in a comic romp about aliens, animal shelters, surfing and family.

“Ohana means ‘family,’ and family means nobody gets left behind” is the one thing all of us learned from the 2002 Disney comedy, a lightweight action romp designed to be a modern “Dumbo” variation — quick, cheap, cute, funny and sentimental.

Director Dean Fleischer Camp’s live-action remake is an almost note-for-note copy, with most of the notes not resonating the way they did 20something years ago.

Casting a live Hawaian girl as Lilo (Maia Kealoha) pays no real dividends. Making Billy Magnussen and whatever happened to Zach Galifianakis the aliens hunting their lost “experiment” weapon creature 626, who has escaped to Earth and been adopted out as a “service animal” by a no-kill animal shelter achieves a few “different” takes, lines and moments, but zero laughs.

Courtney B. Vance taking over for the far-more-menacing Ving Rhames as CIA Agent Cobra Bubbles doesn’t pay off. Bringing back Tia Carrere (as a social worker, she was Lilo’s sister Noni in the original) and (the voice of) Chris Sanders as Stitch is the least tribute Disney could pay to a hit movie that produced TV series and other intellectual property bonanzas back in the day.

It’s not totally soulless, even if it is mostly laugh-free. But hundreds of millions in tickets sold or not, the filmmakers never manage anything like a reason that this intellectual property should have been remade.

Brace yourself for, “Mommy, why isn’t this as fun as the cartoon?”

Rating: PG

Cast: Maia Kealoha, Sydney Adugong, Tia Carrere, Courtney B. Vance
Billy Magnussen, and Zach Galifianakis, with Chris Sanders as the voice of Stitch.

Credits: Directed by Dean Fleischer Camp, scripted by Chris Kekaniokalani Bright and Mike Van Waes, based on the 2002 animated film scripted by Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois A Walt Disney release.

Running time: 1:48

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Movie Review: Lovelorn Writer and Bookseller realizes “Jane Austen Wrecked My Life”

Perhaps only the French could get away with a Jane Austen rom-com riff like “Jane Austen Wrecked My Life.” It’s slight and predictable, with featherweight jokes and a whiff of “Why’d she choose HIM?”

But title it “Jane Austen a gâché ma vie,” film it in French (with subtitles) and English, build it around a clerk in perhaps the most famous bookstore in Paris (Shakespeare and Company) if not the world, and it takes on a certain je nais se quios, just enough of it to make up the fact that they’ve rubbed all the edges off “Austenesque” in the process.

No, tossing in a touch of Euro nudity doesn’twholly atone for that.

Camille Rutherford of “Blue is the Warmest Color” is Agathe, a bookseller in the most poetic setting such people can thrive in, a frustrated writer with personal phobias and an ongoing flirtation with co-worker Felix (Pablo Pauly of “The French Dispatch”), complicated but comfy suburban living arrangements with her single-mom sister and one frustrated ambition.

She’d like to be a published writer herself, a romance novelist more on the Austen end of the spectrum than the Nicholas Sparks one.

Helpful Felix has pooh-pooh’d her writer’s block and submitted the promising beginning to her latest work to the Brits who should know talent. She’s awarded a Jane Austen Writer’s Residency at the Austen house.

Not much is made of the house, the location or the fact that this is a real thing and there are often groups of promising or even accomplished writers briefly residing there looking for “inspiration.” All we know is it’s in the UK, that Agathe has a phobia about cars (she bike-commutes to work) and that her grudgingly undertaken trip includes a ferry ride, which ends with her picked up in the least safe car imaginable — an unreliable 1960s MGB.

Charlie Anson plays the “great great great nephew” of Empire waistline Austen, Oliver, a snobby Oxford “contemporary literature” prof who drives and runs errands for his aged parents (Liz Crowther and Alan Fairbairn) who are the “real” Austen authorities and keepers of the flame.

Pity about Dear Old Dad’s forgetting to wear pants. Or underpants. Cute, though.

As Oliver is set up as a haughty Mr. Darcy and Felix takes on the role of the less suitable suitor, the one who wants to get her over her “imposter syndrome” (“I’m not a REAL writer!”), we hunt about for events, clashes — the assorted writers-in-residence include thriller novelists and a feminist/Marxist critic — that will enliven them en route to the “autumn ball” that the residency throws for the writers and locals, in “Pride & Prejudice/Sense and Sensibility” wear.

Agathe, whose father was a Brit, may be “looking for a Mark Darcy,” Felix teases. But she sees herself as Anne Elliott, the mousy “spinster” heroine of Austen’s “Persuasion.” The shallow Felix is her idea of “Henry Crawford of ‘Mansfield Park,'” opportunistic and perhaps out of the running for life partner.

Or perhaps not.

The limited locations sparkle, and the gags set up Agathe as out-of-her-depth hapless in some predictable (opening the wrong door while nude) and offbeat (spat on by llamas) ways.

Writer-director Laura Piani has made a frustrating film in that it mocks the idea of adding life experiences in order to become a writer, when plainly Agathe is doing just that. She makes a murk of the mimicked Austen romance formula. The stakes in all of this are low, and the resolution abrupt in ways that suck some of the romance right out of it.

But Rutherford is engaging, Pauly and Anson likeable “types” and the settings lush and Austenesque.

And it’s just French enough to feel novel, after decades of Austen adaptations, biographies and the like, a “fresh take” that isn’t all that but does no shame to its titular novelist and the iconic bookseller who figures she “wrecked my life.”

Rating: R, nudity, sexual situations

Cast: Camille Rutherford, Pablo Pauly, Charlie Anson, Liz Crowther,
Annabelle Lengronne and Alan Fairbairn.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Laura Piani. A Sony Pictures Classic release.

Running time: 1:38

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Sundays are for Cinebingeing

Let’s catch all the trailers and features — we’ve missed…

“Friendship,” “Karate/Legends,” “Jane Austen Wrecked,”: etc. .

It’ll do until the Durham Bulls are in town.

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Movie Preview: Pete Davidson has a new job at “The Home”

And it’s not going well.

This looks good and creepy and “Clockwork” ish.

July 25.

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Classic Film Review: Brando goes Godfather one last time for “The Freshman” (1990)

Brando skates! Maximillian Schell sings! Brando kisses Broderick! Bert Parks croons Dylan!

And most amazingly of all, no wildlife, or actors, were actually harmed in the making of “The Freshman,” an old-fashioned PG-rated romp from 1990. Well, maybe the writer-director took a few knocks. He was working with Marlon Brando after all.

But Andrew Bergman convinced the Greatest Method Actor of Them All to send up one of his greatest performances in this lighthearted comedy. Casting Matthew Broderick opposite Brando made the headlines too easy.

‘”Ferris Bueller’ meets his match in ‘The Godfather.”‘

It was cute when it came out, giving fans a chance to savor Brando turning on the charm, with a playful hint of menace, and teen idol of the era Broderick the chance to hold his own with The Great One. But the passing of the years have this classic aging like a bottle of fine Sangiovese. The performances are pitch-perfect. The novelty of seeing and hearing legends having a lark still tickles.

And for a film buff, “The Freshman” is an embarassment of riches — the way it references classic films, leans into “The Godfather” and ridicules the most famous film school of them all (NYU), a film that celebrates notorious New York “types” and skewers of the destructiveness of the superrich as it does.

Broderick plays a posh Putney School grad from Vermont who railroads into New York to attend NYU. Clark Kellogg is smart and polished, disconnected from the nature-fanatic stepfather (Kenneth Welsh) financing this indulgence. But he’s no street-smart Ferris Bueller rebel.

He tries his damnedest to not get hustled on his way to the subway in Grand Central Station. But the not-quite-wiseguy with the unctuous patter and horrific short sleeved sportscoat (Bruno Kirby at his most weasely) takes him in. And takes off with his luggage.

Paul Benedict, another bit of on-the-nose casting, plays the narcissistic professor/advisor who has memorized lines and performances to all the films he teaches, obsesses about and publishes books on, which he forces his students to buy and memorize “the Fleeber” way. “Guns and Provolone” is his take on “The Godfather.” The professor has no interest in young Clark’s problems. Until the kid gets mixed up with the mobster mockingly nicknamed “Jimmy the Toucan.”

Because Clark spies and chases down the hapless Vic (Kirby), with Vic fast-talking his way out of stealing the kid’s money by pitching him a job with “my uncle,” an “importer/exporter” named Carmine Sabbatini.

A running gag begins, “the resemblance” of the hulking, imperious and mysterious Mr. Sabatini to “The Godfather.” That repeated joke joins every New Yorker’s amusing refusal to acknowledge where Clark is from — “Montana,” “Kansas,” Vermont — “Same difference.” — Vic’s pointless efforts to translate snippets of New York Italian that season the dialogue of everybody in this corner of Little Italy and later Carmine’s evasiveness about what he does for a living and what he wants Clark to do for him, which Clark questions constantly.

You’re sure this pick-up and delivery from the airport business is on the up and up? “Promise?”

“Every word I say, by definition, is a promise.”

As the kid and his film nerd roomie (Frank Whaley) find themselves in over their heads, wrestling a rare Komodo Dragon into a mafia Cadillac — and losing it, briefly, hilariously and chaotically, in a mall — they have to wonder just what they’ve gotten themselves into.

Penelope Ann Miller plays Carmine’s smart, winsome but reconciled-with-dad’s-work daughter, Tina. Like Daddy, what Tina wants, Tina gets. Daddy wanted “The Mona Lisa.” The REAL one. Tina wants Clark.

Maximillian Schell vamps the hell out of the role of chef at Carmine’s “Gourmet Club.” BD Wong vamps up his turn as chef’s assistant.

Younger viewers may have no idea who the band singer is in the film’s Gourmet Club finale. But anybody old enough to remember Miss America Pageant emcee Bert Parks, famed for singing “There she is, Miss America,” can’t help but giggle at Bert bopping through “Tequila,” sending up “There She Is” and leaping feet-first into Dylan’s “Maggie’s Farm.”

And Jon Polito and Richard Gant are the fanatical Feds who want to turn the screws on Clark to get to Carmine and this whole shady “import” endangered species business he’s in.

Film buffs will find “Godfather” connections and classic film jokes scattered throughout “The Freshman.”

But some critics, then and now, thought or think that Brando wearing a mustache, tuxes, even a sweater and hat resembling those he wore in “The Godfather,” lit from above to hide his eyes to double down on the parody, was and is “lazy,” that he wasn’t giving us much in this performance.

They’re wrong. There’s a playfulness and an engagement here that wasn’t something Brando showed often. He’s in delightful form, giving the best and lightest performance of his later career — topping “Don Juan de Marco” and his impish supporting turn in “The Score.”

Yes, he was problematic as a performer and a person. But here it’s as if he finished filming “Guys and Dolls” in the ’50s and devoted himself to a whole other career — an understated comedian wholly in control of his gifts, wholly willing to mock the heck out of his reputation and his most celebrated “comeback” role.

There’s a grandness to him that reminded me of Dianne Weist’s far broader turn in “Bullets Over Broadway.” Bergman, who scripted “The In-Laws,” and whose best film as writer-director was the feather-light rom-com “It Could Happen to You,” handled Brando well and challenged him (ice skating) in ways that should have delighted the “difficult” star, but which Brando would never admit.

“The Freshman” invites us to let Brando surprise us one more time, laugh at the serious Oscar winner (and former Brando co-star) Schell, and appreciate the Golden Age of Matthew Broderick.

Watch his attention to Brando, his reactions to his mercurial co-star’s tricks and surprises (walnuts). And savor just how good and confident of his skills this “kid” was, pretty much from the very start of his career, a teen phenom holding his own with The Greatest in a comedy that’s wearing its years with the effortless ease it summoned up the day it opened.

Rating: PG

Cast: Marlon Brando, Matthew Broderick, Penelope Ann Miller, Bruno Kirby, Paul Benedict, Jon Polito, Richard Gant, Frank Whaley, BD Wong and Maximillian Schell.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Andrew Bergman. A Tristar release on Cinevault, Amazon, other streamers.

Running time: 1:42

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Documentary Review: Archaeologist Could Rewrite American Prehistory if he saves an Ancient Site from his Fellow Texans — “The Stones Are Speaking”

Anyone with just a passing appreciation of American archaeology has heard of a Clovis point or stone tool. That’s an ancient spear point dating from a people and an era that for generations has been considered “The First Americans,” arriving 12-13,000 years ago.

The first Clovis points were found near the town of that name in New Mexico in the 1932. The so-called “Clovis First” doctrine has been archaeological orthodoxy for decades, and challenges to it have invited heated debates that only recently have bent towards acceptance that humans migrated to North America earlier, perhaps much earlier than that.

“The Stones Are Speaking” is a documentary about work on one site in Texas that seemed to settle the argument once and for all, and about the heroic archeologist who sweet-talked the owners of the Gault Site, an hour north of Austin, and who fought to save the site from “collectors,” looters and owners looking to cash in on an historic treasure trove.

We meet and hear how Dr. Michael B. Collins got interested in archeology, his years of experience in academia and in the field, working on sites around the world. But the work that would put him in the history books involved his rediscovering a long-known and roughly handled “pay to dig” portion of a farm where collectors could be sure of finding ancient artifacts.

Collins, an expert in evaluating “the scraps people left behind,” identified that this Gault farm on Buttermilk Creek site was not just filled with Clovis-era artifacts, but that it showed evidence of habitation and stonework — including primitive art — going back thousands of years earlier.

“The Stones Are Speaking” features interviews with assorted experts and local volunteers, and with Dr. Tom Dillehay, an archaeologist who was one of the first to put a dent in the “Clovis first” dogma via digs in South America that revealed  that the accepted Ice Age Bering Strait migration from Asia wasn’t the first arrival of humans in the Western Hemisphere.

But the heart of “Stones” is Collins himself, celebrated for his dogged work, his mentorship and for getting access to this site from a “cantankerous” cash business operating owner and the later relatives who got hold of the land with similar ideas about how to profit from it.

Collins spent years talking to the last owners — Doris and Howard Lindsey — negotiating a price, trying to raise funds and find someone or some entity to buy this land for a park.

“We got knocked down a lot,” one of Collins’ fellow researchers marveled at this effort to buy land for science and to preserve history in conservative Texas. “But Mike kept getting back up.”

Despite first-time feature filmmaker Olive Talley’s many pains to paint the Lindseys as “regular folks” and reasonable people, the film can’t avoid portraying them as backhoe-happy opportunists, the villains of the story.

In terms of cinematic sophstication, Talley’s simply crafted documentary sits a lot closer to PBS than the cut-and-paste hackery of The History Channel (no “Ancient Aliens,” alas) on the historical doc spectrum, but closer to what a well-funded local PBS affiliate would produce than a slicker national PBS production in terms of polish.

But her film manages the important things well enough — updating viewers on the status of the “Clovis First/Bering Strait” debate and the hard facts that have caused that theory to evolve, bringing more attention to this site and the scientists (including one figure in particular) who insisted it needed saving, and reminding one and all the uphill battle science faces in a state and a country where baiting and bashing science has become political sport.

Cast: Dr. Michael B. Collins, Tom Dillehay, Kenneth Garrett, Karen Collins, Jon Lohse, Jill Patton, Doris and Howard Lindsey.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Olive Talley. A Gault Film release on Amazon.

Running time: 1:25

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Movie Preview: Keanu is Aziz Ansari’s “budget guardian angel” — “Guardian Angel”

Sandra Oh and Seth Rogan also star in this profane, in more ways than one, angel-poking comedy.

October 17.

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