Classic Film Review: Brando goes Godfather one last time for “The Freshman” (1990)

Brando skates! Maximillian Schell sings! Brando kisses Broderick! Bert Parks croons Dylan!

And most amazingly of all, no wildlife, or actors, were actually harmed in the making of “The Freshman,” an old-fashioned PG-rated romp from 1990. Well, maybe the writer-director took a few knocks. He was working with Marlon Brando after all.

But Andrew Bergman convinced the Greatest Method Actor of Them All to send up one of his greatest performances in this lighthearted comedy. Casting Matthew Broderick opposite Brando made the headlines too easy.

‘”Ferris Bueller’ meets his match in ‘The Godfather.”‘

It was cute when it came out, giving fans a chance to savor Brando turning on the charm, with a playful hint of menace, and teen idol of the era Broderick the chance to hold his own with The Great One. But the passing of the years have this classic aging like a bottle of fine Sangiovese. The performances are pitch-perfect. The novelty of seeing and hearing legends having a lark still tickles.

And for a film buff, “The Freshman” is an embarassment of riches — the way it references classic films, leans into “The Godfather” and ridicules the most famous film school of them all (NYU), a film that celebrates notorious New York “types” and skewers of the destructiveness of the superrich as it does.

Broderick plays a posh Putney School grad from Vermont who railroads into New York to attend NYU. Clark Kellogg is smart and polished, disconnected from the nature-fanatic stepfather (Kenneth Welsh) financing this indulgence. But he’s no street-smart Ferris Bueller rebel.

He tries his damnedest to not get hustled on his way to the subway in Grand Central Station. But the not-quite-wiseguy with the unctuous patter and horrific short sleeved sportscoat (Bruno Kirby at his most weasely) takes him in. And takes off with his luggage.

Paul Benedict, another bit of on-the-nose casting, plays the narcissistic professor/advisor who has memorized lines and performances to all the films he teaches, obsesses about and publishes books on, which he forces his students to buy and memorize “the Fleeber” way. “Guns and Provolone” is his take on “The Godfather.” The professor has no interest in young Clark’s problems. Until the kid gets mixed up with the mobster mockingly nicknamed “Jimmy the Toucan.”

Because Clark spies and chases down the hapless Vic (Kirby), with Vic fast-talking his way out of stealing the kid’s money by pitching him a job with “my uncle,” an “importer/exporter” named Carmine Sabbatini.

A running gag begins, “the resemblance” of the hulking, imperious and mysterious Mr. Sabatini to “The Godfather.” That repeated joke joins every New Yorker’s amusing refusal to acknowledge where Clark is from — “Montana,” “Kansas,” Vermont — “Same difference.” — Vic’s pointless efforts to translate snippets of New York Italian that season the dialogue of everybody in this corner of Little Italy and later Carmine’s evasiveness about what he does for a living and what he wants Clark to do for him, which Clark questions constantly.

You’re sure this pick-up and delivery from the airport business is on the up and up? “Promise?”

“Every word I say, by definition, is a promise.”

As the kid and his film nerd roomie (Frank Whaley) find themselves in over their heads, wrestling a rare Komodo Dragon into a mafia Cadillac — and losing it, briefly, hilariously and chaotically, in a mall — they have to wonder just what they’ve gotten themselves into.

Penelope Ann Miller plays Carmine’s smart, winsome but reconciled-with-dad’s-work daughter, Tina. Like Daddy, what Tina wants, Tina gets. Daddy wanted “The Mona Lisa.” The REAL one. Tina wants Clark.

Maximillian Schell vamps the hell out of the role of chef at Carmine’s “Gourmet Club.” BD Wong vamps up his turn as chef’s assistant.

Younger viewers may have no idea who the band singer is in the film’s Gourmet Club finale. But anybody old enough to remember Miss America Pageant emcee Bert Parks, famed for singing “There she is, Miss America,” can’t help but giggle at Bert bopping through “Tequila,” sending up “There She Is” and leaping feet-first into Dylan’s “Maggie’s Farm.”

And Jon Polito and Richard Gant are the fanatical Feds who want to turn the screws on Clark to get to Carmine and this whole shady “import” endangered species business he’s in.

Film buffs will find “Godfather” connections and classic film jokes scattered throughout “The Freshman.”

But some critics, then and now, thought or think that Brando wearing a mustache, tuxes, even a sweater and hat resembling those he wore in “The Godfather,” lit from above to hide his eyes to double down on the parody, was and is “lazy,” that he wasn’t giving us much in this performance.

They’re wrong. There’s a playfulness and an engagement here that wasn’t something Brando showed often. He’s in delightful form, giving the best and lightest performance of his later career — topping “Don Juan de Marco” and his impish supporting turn in “The Score.”

Yes, he was problematic as a performer and a person. But here it’s as if he finished filming “Guys and Dolls” in the ’50s and devoted himself to a whole other career — an understated comedian wholly in control of his gifts, wholly willing to mock the heck out of his reputation and his most celebrated “comeback” role.

There’s a grandness to him that reminded me of Dianne Weist’s far broader turn in “Bullets Over Broadway.” Bergman, who scripted “The In-Laws,” and whose best film as writer-director was the feather-light rom-com “It Could Happen to You,” handled Brando well and challenged him (ice skating) in ways that should have delighted the “difficult” star, but which Brando would never admit.

“The Freshman” invites us to let Brando surprise us one more time, laugh at the serious Oscar winner (and former Brando co-star) Schell, and appreciate the Golden Age of Matthew Broderick.

Watch his attention to Brando, his reactions to his mercurial co-star’s tricks and surprises (walnuts). And savor just how good and confident of his skills this “kid” was, pretty much from the very start of his career, a teen phenom holding his own with The Greatest in a comedy that’s wearing its years with the effortless ease it summoned up the day it opened.

Rating: PG

Cast: Marlon Brando, Matthew Broderick, Penelope Ann Miller, Bruno Kirby, Paul Benedict, Jon Polito, Richard Gant, Frank Whaley, BD Wong and Maximillian Schell.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Andrew Bergman. A Tristar release on Cinevault, Amazon, other streamers.

Running time: 1:42

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Documentary Review: Archaeologist Could Rewrite American Prehistory if he saves an Ancient Site from his Fellow Texans — “The Stones Are Speaking”

Anyone with just a passing appreciation of American archaeology has heard of a Clovis point or stone tool. That’s an ancient spear point dating from a people and an era that for generations has been considered “The First Americans,” arriving 12-13,000 years ago.

The first Clovis points were found near the town of that name in New Mexico in the 1932. The so-called “Clovis First” doctrine has been archaeological orthodoxy for decades, and challenges to it have invited heated debates that only recently have bent towards acceptance that humans migrated to North America earlier, perhaps much earlier than that.

“The Stones Are Speaking” is a documentary about work on one site in Texas that seemed to settle the argument once and for all, and about the heroic archeologist who sweet-talked the owners of the Gault Site, an hour north of Austin, and who fought to save the site from “collectors,” looters and owners looking to cash in on an historic treasure trove.

We meet and hear how Dr. Michael B. Collins got interested in archeology, his years of experience in academia and in the field, working on sites around the world. But the work that would put him in the history books involved his rediscovering a long-known and roughly handled “pay to dig” portion of a farm where collectors could be sure of finding ancient artifacts.

Collins, an expert in evaluating “the scraps people left behind,” identified that this Gault farm on Buttermilk Creek site was not just filled with Clovis-era artifacts, but that it showed evidence of habitation and stonework — including primitive art — going back thousands of years earlier.

“The Stones Are Speaking” features interviews with assorted experts and local volunteers, and with Dr. Tom Dillehay, an archaeologist who was one of the first to put a dent in the “Clovis first” dogma via digs in South America that revealed  that the accepted Ice Age Bering Strait migration from Asia wasn’t the first arrival of humans in the Western Hemisphere.

But the heart of “Stones” is Collins himself, celebrated for his dogged work, his mentorship and for getting access to this site from a “cantankerous” cash business operating owner and the later relatives who got hold of the land with similar ideas about how to profit from it.

Collins spent years talking to the last owners — Doris and Howard Lindsey — negotiating a price, trying to raise funds and find someone or some entity to buy this land for a park.

“We got knocked down a lot,” one of Collins’ fellow researchers marveled at this effort to buy land for science and to preserve history in conservative Texas. “But Mike kept getting back up.”

Despite first-time feature filmmaker Olive Talley’s many pains to paint the Lindseys as “regular folks” and reasonable people, the film can’t avoid portraying them as backhoe-happy opportunists, the villains of the story.

In terms of cinematic sophstication, Talley’s simply crafted documentary sits a lot closer to PBS than the cut-and-paste hackery of The History Channel (no “Ancient Aliens,” alas) on the historical doc spectrum, but closer to what a well-funded local PBS affiliate would produce than a slicker national PBS production in terms of polish.

But her film manages the important things well enough — updating viewers on the status of the “Clovis First/Bering Strait” debate and the hard facts that have caused that theory to evolve, bringing more attention to this site and the scientists (including one figure in particular) who insisted it needed saving, and reminding one and all the uphill battle science faces in a state and a country where baiting and bashing science has become political sport.

Cast: Dr. Michael B. Collins, Tom Dillehay, Kenneth Garrett, Karen Collins, Jon Lohse, Jill Patton, Doris and Howard Lindsey.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Olive Talley. A Gault Film release on Amazon.

Running time: 1:25

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Movie Preview: Keanu is Aziz Ansari’s “budget guardian angel” — “Guardian Angel”

Sandra Oh and Seth Rogan also star in this profane, in more ways than one, angel-poking comedy.

October 17.

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Movie Preview: A Secret Mission sends Civil War commandos down “Resurrection Road”

A Civil War thriller on a budget? What not?

This one drops June 6.

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Movie Review: “Worth the Wait?” Worth tracking down

What’s not to like about “Worth the Wait?”

A series of interconnected love stories that fit together well enough, a blend of the romantic, the cute and the sad, there’s no heavy lifting in any of this. It’s never laugh-out-loud funny or all that surprising. But it plays.

A movie star is keenly aware of her rep as a diva actress whom “men leave” is forced to work with a director she has “history” with.

A teenager tries to hang onto her first love in the face of open disapproval from the stern uncle who raises her.

A young couple races to the hospital in that uncle’s ride share — mother-in-law in-tow — for the birth of their child.

A Sino-Malaysian businessman who needs to get home to his stern dad/boss is trapped in the Kia cab with them, because it’s a “ride share.”

Then an emergency room doctor catches the businessman’s eye, setting up one a magical day and night-long “date.”

It’s also worth adding that “Worth the Wait” showcases Seattle at its most photogenic and Kuala Lumpur as a bucket list visit.

The collection of bittersweet romances stars that “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” pixie Lana Condor. She’s Seattle emergency room doc Leah, half swept-off-her-feet by handsome Kai (Ross Butler), who has to admit he “almost threw up” at the childbirth that almost took place in that Kia.

“So I’m a lot tougher and stronger than you,” she teases him. He quips “I’m 100% OK with that!”

She’s leery of relationships — long distance ones especially. But here they go.

That’s the theme of the movie. “Will it be worth it if things don’t work out?”

That young pregnant couple (Karena Ka-Yan Lam and Osric Chou)? They lose the baby. Can their relationship recover? “Will it be worth” all the heartache” to “try again?”

Ali Fumiko Whitney plays Riley, who loves social media prankster Blake (Ricky He). But prom and graduation are coming up. They’ve been seeing each other for a year and she’s never dared tell grumpy ride-share driver Uncle Curtis (Sung Kang of the “Fast and Furious” franchise).

That’s nothing. Kai starts a long-distance romance with Leah without telling her that the real reason he’s sticking with this mergers and acquisitions gig in Malaysia is that he’s scared to disappoint his boss, his bullying firm-founder dad.

Action star Amanda Yan (Elodie Yung, Elektra on TV’s “Daredevil,” “The Hitman’s Bodyguard”) is shooting a new thriller in Seattle. But her director has fled, and she’s not aware her ex (Andrew Koji of “Bullet Train” and “Gangs of London”) has taken the gig until he shows up at a press conference.

Characters have secrets and issues and connections which are sometimes familial, sometimes set up in support groups and sometimes underexplained.

The comedy isn’t of the side-splitting variety, with dopey prankster Blake taking tumbles (“Not my first roof!”) and blundering into a “Let’s secretly set up your uncle with a ride-share blind date.” scheme.

But every poignant scene works. The couplings and the dilemmas they face are believable and plausible. Even the people behaving like jerks have their reasons.

Light romances and rom-coms have proven so difficult to pull off in recent years that whenever one comes along that works well enough, you can’t help but whisper “Hallelujah,” even if you can’t quite justify shouting it.

Rating: PG

CastL Lana Condor, Ross Butler, Elodie Yung, Karena Ka-Yan Lam, Ali Fumiko Whitney, Ricky He, Osric Chou and Sung Kang

Credits: Directed by Tom Shu-Yu Lin, scripted by Maggie Hartmans. A Tubi Original (on Tubi).

Running time: 1:42

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Movie Preview: Family ties are celebrated and tested in “Autumn” in Portugal

This festival friendly debut feature by Antonio Sequeira  earns a June 2 release.

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Movie Preview: Henry Golding revives his One Great Relationship via drugs — “Daniella Forever”

Beatrice Granno has the title role in this festival darling, a sci-fi romance scripted and directed by Spanish filmmaker Nacho Vigolando, who gave us “Timecrimes.”

XYZ Films is unleashing “Daniela Forever” July 11.

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Movie Preview: Josh Duhamel’s gone “Off the Grid,” Kinnear and Stormare aren’t Having It

An engineer/physicist flees his old research job as it was weaponized, and now the guys in charge want him back.

This action pic from the director of “Alone” opens June 27.

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Netflixable? A Return to “Fear Street” for a dull and forgettable “Prom Night”

Return we now to “Fear Street,” where R.L. Stine set up shop to appeal to older kid readers and which Netflix dove into for not one or two, but a three film series four years ago.

The first three films had a steady falling off in originality and wit as they marched through the horrific history of a village called Union (1666) that split into two towns — Sunnyvale and Shadyside — victimized by its bloody legacy, revisited in in 1978 and 1994.

“Fear Street: Prom Night” is set between ’78 and ’94, serving of a slice of 1988 nostalgia amidst the carnage of the most conventional “dead teenager movie” of the lot. It’s a short but stumbling stagger from one uncreative killing after another as competitors to be Shadyside High’s prom queen are hacked up by a masked, raincoated nut with a knife — and axe.

The tale ties in VERY loosely to the second “Fear Street” movie (there are no credited carryover characters or actors), with the focus sitting on the child of a survivor of the 1978 summer camp slaughter of the that film aspiring to overcome her family’s rep to become prom queen.

But Lori Granger (India Fowler) doesn’t stand much of a chance against Tiffany Falconer (Fina Strazza) and her “wolf pack” of mean girls, who dominate the prom queen field as they run social life and the school with the help of a few compliant bullying jocks.

But aspiring writer Lori is cute enough to catch the eye of Tiffany’s beau (David Iacono, aka Noah Centineo, The Next Generation). And with the help of her sexually ambiguous bestie, the goth/horror fan prankster Megan (Suzanna Son), maybe she can make some waves.

“Being nice and sweet don’t get you anywhere!”

As we stagger towards prom night, other high school “types” among the contestants find themselves cornered and killed. Of course, nobody — including strict Christian school principal Brekenridge (Lili Taylor) — has a clue this is going on until well into the evening, after we’ve heard Billy Idol, Laura Brannigan and Rick Astley’s Greatest Hits.

One missing victim’s boyfriend says “I’ve been with that girl two months, I know her better than ANYone!” That’s director and co-writer Matt Palmer’s film’s lone laugh.

The script does a poor job setting up possible suspects out of the assorted stereotype/archetype characters — the picked-on religious principal’s son, et al.

Child starlett Arianna Greenblatt of TV’s “Stuck in the Middle” plays the “rebel” drug dealer in class. Tiffany’s parents are played by Katherine Waterston (“Michael Clayton.” “Alien: Covenant”) and “American Pie/Election” alumnus Chris Klein.

But no characters in this are developed enough to invest in them or pin them down as suspects. At about the time Blood Red Raincoat Killer whips out a circular saw, which is as inventive as the murders get, the movie invites us to check out.

And no colorless performance, generic character or original-hits/original stars ’80s soundtrack night for the cinema’s three thousandth trip to “prom night” can compel the viewer to check back in.

Rating: R, graphic violence, profanity

Cast: India Fowler, Suzanna Son, Fina Strazza, David Iacono, Katherine Waterston, Chris Klein and Lili Taylor.

Credits: Directed by Matt Palmer, scripted by Matt Palmer and Donald McLeary, based on the book by R.L. Stine. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:30

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Movie Review: “A Hard Place,” aka “The Evil Dead” by the Humorless and Uninspired

The biggest names in the indie horror flick “A Hard Place” are Bai Ling from “The Crow” and Glenn Plummer, who attained screen immortality with his turn in “Showgirls.” So it’s fitting that they get off easy.

They’re the recognizable faces from “The Dead Hour,” a splatter film within the film in this Godawful “Evil Dead” knockoff, glimpsed on the screen of the Dixie Twin drive-in and later watched on TV by a couple of mouth-breathers. Unlike “A Hard Place,” “The Dead Hour” is supposed to be awful.

Alas, neither movie is bad enough to be fun. The “story” is derivative, dumb and dull, about some extended Appalachian “family” protecting and protected by these humanoid briar-and-bramble zombie creatures, with dialogue generated by AI that some bubba spilt his beer on.

“What in the horror movie hell ARE those things?” “This here is Heathcliffe. He don’t move much.”

Shot in the wintry, woodsy corner of Ohio where the real Dixie Twin exists because Dixie is a local state of mind — with snow-covered scenes don’t match those with no snow left — it begins with a heist at the nearly empty (it’s winter, remember) Dixie Twin that turns murderous.

We’ve got a gang of six on the lam with an old lady gang leader (Lynn Lowery of “Shivers,” “The Crazies” and “Attack of the Corn Zombies”) telling them she knows “just the place” for them to “lay low” and go “off the grid.”

That’s how they end up on a farm, where shoot-first gang member Candy (Jennifer Stone) shoots the owner (Felissa Rose), who survives thanks to the interventions of Fish (Rachel Amanda Bryant) and for some reason tries to help them escape the fate she knows they’ve stumbled into.

The woods are alive. And hungry. And wearing wigs.

There are maybe a couple of intentional laughs in this, with sexist Hurt (Kevin Caliber) cracking that he’s got “no problem with women. I’m an ALLY!” And then there’s a random skull bounced off a barn door that’s worth a chuckle.

But director, co-writer and self-distributor Jason “J.” Horton (“Craving,” assorted other C-movies) set out to make an “Evil Dead” without Sam Raimi’s flair for humor and “gotchas,” without his gift for story and ear for zingers and without Bruce Campbell as everybody’s favorite horror anti-hero.

All Horton seems adept with is splatter as he puts a cast playing yokel stereotypes through shootings, chewings and bloody dismemberments at the hands of moaning monsters from the “I am Groot” family.

At least Plummer and Ling got in and out in a day, in scenes from an even worse horror movie probably shot over a day or two in L.A.

Rating: unrated, bloody, gory and graphic violence

Cast: Lynn Lowry, Rachel Amanda Bryant, Felissa Rose, Kevin Caliber and Jennifer Stone, with Glenn Plummer and Bai Ling

Credits: Directed by J. Horton, scripted by Michael J. Epstein and J. Horton. A Gianetti Films release.

Running time: 1:28

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