Movie Review: “Bring Her Back” — Horror One Suffers Through rather than Relishes

It’s not a blanket condemnation to say I could not wait for “Bring Her Back,” the excruciating new film from the co-directors of “Talk to Me,” to come to an end.

One can recognize its unflinching, grisly details and unsparing cruelty and appreciate that it’s not played for grisly horror laughs or even intended to “entertain.” But this is as hard a movie to sit through as they come — flesh-rending, tooth-shattering violence filmed in sadistic, gory closeup, victims pitilessly victimized over and over again.

The victims are children. The victimizer is an adult and a “system” that carelessly lets children fall into the wrong hands.

“Bring Her Back” is a movie anchored in loss and grief, but only truly heartbreaking when we see the consequences of that visited upon those least prepared to handle it and fight back against their abuser.

Piper (Sara Wong) is an isolated Aussie tween, someone who can’t make friends easily. At least her older stepbrother Andy (Billy Barratt) is there to look out for her, make sure she gets home from the bus stop safe and sound.

Piper’s blind. So Andy is the only one to see the awful, bloody death throes of their father in the shower when they get home.

The devastated duo is thus surrendered to “The System,” which in this small-town corner of Australia means they’re fostered out to a former counselor. Laura (the great Sally Hawkins, pushing the envelope again) seems kind and nurturing. For about a second.

In no time, we see how she manipulates both Andy and Piper — their memories, their relationship with their shared father and with each other — focusing on the ugliest possibilities, making each paranoid about the other and what they “know” about their past and their family.

Laura’s been through loss herself. Her daughter Cathy died not long ago. And she’s got another foster child already under the roof of her isolated house in the rainforest. Oliver, “Ollie” (Jonah Wren Phillips) is mute and seemingly locked away. But if he could talk, the stories he might tell…

Sibling filmmakers Danny and Michael Philippou let us glimpse video tapes Laura is watching. They’re not just old home movies of Cathy (Misha Heywood). She’s watching creepy Eastern European rituals, “how-to” videos of the most disturbing nature. She’s prepped the house with a vast white circle in chalk that you can only see from above, and painted a DIY depth line on the side of her pool.

Whatever Laura is prepping, you can bet it won’t be to any living child’s benefit if the title “Bring Her Back” tells us anything.

Hawkins, of “The Shape of Water” and “Happy Go Lucky,” has a nurturing innocence and sweetness that the Philippous tap into and flip on it’s head for this role in this film. Laura couldn’t possibly be capable of this or that. Oh yes she is.

The Philippous put children in the most wrenching jeopardy one could imagine and tease us along to see if the kids — or any one of them — figure out the nature of the threat and who embodies it in time to save them all.

It’s the filmmakers’ unsparing depiction of violence against children that overwhelms this story of supernaturalism or desperate, misguided superstition. That seems excessive, a shock-value cheat that gives this “wrenching nature of loss and grief” story a sense of overkill.

They’ve made a smart, thought-provoking but ugly and incredibly hard to watch thriller in which the crimes against the flesh and teeth overwhelm a simple gothic tale of a mourning mother turned monster and the children The System lets have for her nefarious purposes.

Rating: R, gruesome violence, “bloody content,” nudity, alcohol abuse, profanity

Cast: Sally Hawkins, Billy Barratt, Sara Wong, Jonah Wren Phillips, Misha Heywood and Sally-Anne Upton.

Credits: Directed by Danny Philippou and Michael Philippou, scripted by Danny Philippou and Bill Hinzman. An A24 release.

Running time: 1:44

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Movie Review: What Guy Wouldn’t go Mental Craving Weatherman Paul Rudd’s “Friendship?”

“Cringe Comedy” is taken to the next level, and then some, in the intimately uncomfortable “Friendship,” a story of the broken state of bro bonding and on-the-spectrum oddness.

Writer-director Andrew DeYoung taps into a generation’s male isolation with a dark comedy that will make you squirm every time you laugh, especially if you see it with an audience. It is an open wound of insecurities hidden in a dark and darkly funny examination of “fitting in” and failing.

So God forbid you laugh when the rest of the audience watching it with you isn’t laughing.

“Saturday Night Live” veteran and “I Think You Should Leave” sketch comedy star and co-creator Tim Robinson plays an instantly off-putting tech nerd whose tactless, clueless inability to “read the room” is off the charts.

That’s established within moments in the opening scene as Craig (Robinson) and his wife Tami (Kate Mara) sit and listen and share in their support group.

Tami is fragile, wary and weary. She’s survived cancer, and everything about her screams “survived…for now.” She’s worried about how much of her life she’ll get back, and if she’ll “ever have another orgasm.”

Clueless Craig? He’s “Everything is AWESOME,” “We BEAT cancer” and “MY orgasms are just FINE, by the way.”

Good one, Craig. No, nobody in the group laughed.

They have a teen son (Jack Dylan Grazer) who is a lot closer to Mom than Craig will ever be. Is he her child from a previous relationship? Maybe this “Devon” she keeps talking about and meeting?

Craig is probably good at his job — working for a digital consulting firm that helps brands manipulate people into addiction to products, apps, people, etc. But it doesn’t take much for his subordinates and superiors to reveal their open contempt for the office weirdo.

“He’s odd man out for a reason!”

Mr. Insecurity enthuses about the wrong things, curses at the wrong times, overshares and dresses in the same khakis, sports coats and peculiar, hard-to-get, “only shoes that fit” deck shoes from a restaurant chain that “also sells food.”

He and the Out-of-His-League Mrs. are selling their ’70s style split-level, hoping to move somewhere bigger so that her Flowers by Tami florist business can flourish.

But a chance meeting with their new neighbor rocks Craig’s less-comfortable-than-he-thinks world. Because Austin (Paul Rudd) is everything he’s not, effortlessly “cool,” for starters.

Austin’s a local TV weatherman rocking a ’70s TV “Anchorman” pornstache. Austin is married, but plays in a punk band. And when he invites Craig on “an adventure,” he means it. It could be roaming Clovis city’s old sewer system and sneaking into city hall in the wee hours or hunting wild mushrooms when Craig’s supposed to be at work.

Craig fanboys along, and that gets him invited to a party with “just the guys,” Austin’s acolytes from his band and elsewhere. But not reading signals or being comfortable in such a setting dooms Craig to missteps. No, he doesn’t join in the screwy, impromptu sing-along to “My Boo.” But playing around with boxing gloves was sure to come to tears.

Craig kills the party, and in an instant, he’s as good as out. Austin’s deciding to “end this friendship” comes later.

The guy who “got speed bumps installed” in the neighborhood he’s trying to move out of, the fellow who should be fretting over why his wife is spending so much time with an ex or paying more attention to his just-getting-into-girls teen son becomes obsessed with being like Austin, getting back together with Austin or even replicating Austin’s bro pack on his own.

The “cringe” includes “men’s movement” subtexts and the sociology and psychology of manhood that sentences so many to lives of isolation and loneliness. The jokes have a cringy, Gen X topicality, as hapless Craig struggles with his feelings, his Austin-reunion fantasies and his misguided efforts to talk his son and the son’s latest girlfriend to join him at his new favorite bar.

“It’s 7:30 in the morning! We’re SIXTEEN!”

Robinson makes Craig equal parts pitiful and hilarious in scene after scene — forever losing a shoe on Austin’s “adventures,” always losing his Zenith cell phone, replacing it, and relying on the young salesman for something “a little stronger” than booze to help Craig get out of his own head, or further into it.

Rudd serves up a mature if still insecure version of his arrested development “I Love You, Man” character, someone who embraced his inner bro long ago. Everything’s cool as long as his pack adores him and doesn’t see it’s mostly a front.

Veteran TV writer and director DeYoung lures the viewer in and leads us in amused, faintly contemptuous but always nervous laughter. There’s shared pain beneath the laughs. Why DID this or that friend “move on” from us?

And DeYoung maintains suspense as his hero and his movie stagger towards the inevitable Chekhovian meltdown. Because no bro this disturbed and this “wronged,” at least in his own mind, can hallucinate his way out of the dilemma that his empty life forces him to confront.

Not without licking a toad, anyway.

Rating: R, violence, drug abuse, profanity

Cast: Tim Robinson, Paul Rudd, Jack Dylan Grazer and Kate Mara.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Andrew DeYoung. An A24 release.

Running time: 1:40

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Movie Preview: Guillermo del Toro and Netflix make Oscar Isaac the Doctor Who Played God — “Frankenstein”

The Oscar winning del Toro gets a Netflix black check to write and direct his take on the monster and the man who made him.

Isaac, Mia Goth, Christoph Waltz, Jacob Elordi and Charles Dance also star.

November

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Movie Preview: Ethan Hawke and Ma Bell return, “Black Phone 2”

They’ll be hard-pressed to match the heartbreaking suspense of the 2022 blockbuster. This snowy October release has supernatural “Elm Street” et al vibes.

No wonder everybody ditched their land lines.

Check it out.

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Movie Review — “Karate Kid: Legends,” down for the Count

Let’s call the standing — or flat on its back — ten count on the “Karate Kid” movies after “Karate Kid: Legends.”

Sentimental father figure martial arts revenge dramas frosted with the honor and code of the Asian fighting arts — honors and codes violated by villains but upheld by our heroes — these pictures ran out of ideas decades ago, not that a TV “Cobra Kai” revival was hampered by that.


“Legends” unites later “Karate Kid” sensei/teacher Jackie Chan with the “original” kid, Ralph Macchio, which will touch those who still appreciate the simplicity and underdog-vs-bullies ethos of 1984’s “The Karate Kid.”

Chan and co-star Ben Wang did the fight choreography, and director Jonathan Entwistle, cinematographer Justin Brown and editors Dana E. Glauberman and Colby Parker Jr. ensure that the martial arts moves are a spectacular blur of fists,” “one inch punch” blows and flying, spinning “dragon kicks.”

But the story is The Same as it Ever Was. There are thuggish bullies who misuse martial arts. And the assorted “kids” and their teacher have to set them straight about what the “art” and discipline are really about.

Ben Wang plays Li Fong, a Beijing boy with the most American accent in Mr. Han’s martial arts academy. His mother (Ming-Na Wen of “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D”) disapproves of the martial arts thing. She’s already “lost one son” to it, she complains to Han (Jackie Chan).

Luckily for Dr. Mom she’s landed a gig in New York. The kid will have to “promise” to give up training and fighting as they move there and he tries to fit in. The accent will be no problem, and no screenplay invention can explain away the boy’s California-fluency.

Li ducks into a pizza joint, gets the “go to Jersey” insult from the owner (Joshua Jackson, formerly of “Dawson’s Creek,” recently in TV’s “Fatal Attraction” series) over his Philistine’s “stuffed crust” request and an aggressively perky vibe from the owner’s daughter (Sadie Stanley), and finds his first New York friends.

Naturally, pizza cook Victor is in hock with a local dojo owner (Tim Rozon). Naturally, Victor used to be a boxer, so he needs “one more fight, maybe two” to get out of debt. Even though he’s pretty damned close to getting that AARP card in the mail, that’s what we’re meant to buy into.

And of course perky daughter Mia used to have a thing with that dojo’s most savage, unscrupulous sucker-punching fighter Conor (Aramis Knight).

Li will “turn you from a stone into a stream,” teaching Victor to “flow” in his fighting, countering the other boxer’s efforts with deflection and popping him with the occasional deadly “one inch punch.” And the 125 pound Li will have to come up with some new tricks if he himself has to fight over Mia.

Li may more than hold his own with groups of thugs who try to muscle the pizza shop owner, punching through the flashbacks where he remembers how his martial artist older brother died in front of him. But if he’s going to train this boxer and get REAL revenge by beating the punk Conor in The Five Boroughs MMA tourney, he’s going to need teachers.

Mr. Han flies in. Then he flies off to find Mister Miyagi’s best pupil, Daniel-san (Macchio). They teach Li a new trick or two in just a couple of days.

Director Entwistle (Netflix’s The End of the F***ing World” was his) keeps the cliches coming and the narrative — such as it is — moving. But there aren’t enough fights in the early going to sustain interest. And the later ones are pretty much pre-determined.

This “Kid” is somewhat better than the one Chan made with Will Smith’s kid several years back, but “Cobra Kai” fans may find the generic plot weighs down the punches too much to add anything new to the saga.

Rating: PG-13, violence, some of it bloody

Cast: Jackie Chan, Ben Wang, Ming-Na Wen, Sadie Stanley, Aramis Knight, Joshua Jackson, Tim Rozon and Ralph Macchio

Credits: Directed by Jonathan Entwistle, scripted by Rob Lieber, based on characeters created by Robert Mark Kamen.

Running time: 1:34

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Movie Review: “Aloha” means “Why Bother?” with this remake of “Lilo & Stitch”

The latest Disney remake of an animated classic makes “Lilo & Stitch” more Hawaiian and less cartoonish. The former might be a big deal, in terms of getting Hawaian culture right and advertising the island paradise-state to tourists. But the latter is an unforgivable omission in a comic romp about aliens, animal shelters, surfing and family.

“Ohana means ‘family,’ and family means nobody gets left behind” is the one thing all of us learned from the 2002 Disney comedy, a lightweight action romp designed to be a modern “Dumbo” variation — quick, cheap, cute, funny and sentimental.

Director Dean Fleischer Camp’s live-action remake is an almost note-for-note copy, with most of the notes not resonating the way they did 20something years ago.

Casting a live Hawaian girl as Lilo (Maia Kealoha) pays no real dividends. Making Billy Magnussen and whatever happened to Zach Galifianakis the aliens hunting their lost “experiment” weapon creature 626, who has escaped to Earth and been adopted out as a “service animal” by a no-kill animal shelter achieves a few “different” takes, lines and moments, but zero laughs.

Courtney B. Vance taking over for the far-more-menacing Ving Rhames as CIA Agent Cobra Bubbles doesn’t pay off. Bringing back Tia Carrere (as a social worker, she was Lilo’s sister Noni in the original) and (the voice of) Chris Sanders as Stitch is the least tribute Disney could pay to a hit movie that produced TV series and other intellectual property bonanzas back in the day.

It’s not totally soulless, even if it is mostly laugh-free. But hundreds of millions in tickets sold or not, the filmmakers never manage anything like a reason that this intellectual property should have been remade.

Brace yourself for, “Mommy, why isn’t this as fun as the cartoon?”

Rating: PG

Cast: Maia Kealoha, Sydney Adugong, Tia Carrere, Courtney B. Vance
Billy Magnussen, and Zach Galifianakis, with Chris Sanders as the voice of Stitch.

Credits: Directed by Dean Fleischer Camp, scripted by Chris Kekaniokalani Bright and Mike Van Waes, based on the 2002 animated film scripted by Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois A Walt Disney release.

Running time: 1:48

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Movie Review: Lovelorn Writer and Bookseller realizes “Jane Austen Wrecked My Life”

Perhaps only the French could get away with a Jane Austen rom-com riff like “Jane Austen Wrecked My Life.” It’s slight and predictable, with featherweight jokes and a whiff of “Why’d she choose HIM?”

But title it “Jane Austen a gâché ma vie,” film it in French (with subtitles) and English, build it around a clerk in perhaps the most famous bookstore in Paris (Shakespeare and Company) if not the world, and it takes on a certain je nais se quios, just enough of it to make up the fact that they’ve rubbed all the edges off “Austenesque” in the process.

No, tossing in a touch of Euro nudity doesn’twholly atone for that.

Camille Rutherford of “Blue is the Warmest Color” is Agathe, a bookseller in the most poetic setting such people can thrive in, a frustrated writer with personal phobias and an ongoing flirtation with co-worker Felix (Pablo Pauly of “The French Dispatch”), complicated but comfy suburban living arrangements with her single-mom sister and one frustrated ambition.

She’d like to be a published writer herself, a romance novelist more on the Austen end of the spectrum than the Nicholas Sparks one.

Helpful Felix has pooh-pooh’d her writer’s block and submitted the promising beginning to her latest work to the Brits who should know talent. She’s awarded a Jane Austen Writer’s Residency at the Austen house.

Not much is made of the house, the location or the fact that this is a real thing and there are often groups of promising or even accomplished writers briefly residing there looking for “inspiration.” All we know is it’s in the UK, that Agathe has a phobia about cars (she bike-commutes to work) and that her grudgingly undertaken trip includes a ferry ride, which ends with her picked up in the least safe car imaginable — an unreliable 1960s MGB.

Charlie Anson plays the “great great great nephew” of Empire waistline Austen, Oliver, a snobby Oxford “contemporary literature” prof who drives and runs errands for his aged parents (Liz Crowther and Alan Fairbairn) who are the “real” Austen authorities and keepers of the flame.

Pity about Dear Old Dad’s forgetting to wear pants. Or underpants. Cute, though.

As Oliver is set up as a haughty Mr. Darcy and Felix takes on the role of the less suitable suitor, the one who wants to get her over her “imposter syndrome” (“I’m not a REAL writer!”), we hunt about for events, clashes — the assorted writers-in-residence include thriller novelists and a feminist/Marxist critic — that will enliven them en route to the “autumn ball” that the residency throws for the writers and locals, in “Pride & Prejudice/Sense and Sensibility” wear.

Agathe, whose father was a Brit, may be “looking for a Mark Darcy,” Felix teases. But she sees herself as Anne Elliott, the mousy “spinster” heroine of Austen’s “Persuasion.” The shallow Felix is her idea of “Henry Crawford of ‘Mansfield Park,'” opportunistic and perhaps out of the running for life partner.

Or perhaps not.

The limited locations sparkle, and the gags set up Agathe as out-of-her-depth hapless in some predictable (opening the wrong door while nude) and offbeat (spat on by llamas) ways.

Writer-director Laura Piani has made a frustrating film in that it mocks the idea of adding life experiences in order to become a writer, when plainly Agathe is doing just that. She makes a murk of the mimicked Austen romance formula. The stakes in all of this are low, and the resolution abrupt in ways that suck some of the romance right out of it.

But Rutherford is engaging, Pauly and Anson likeable “types” and the settings lush and Austenesque.

And it’s just French enough to feel novel, after decades of Austen adaptations, biographies and the like, a “fresh take” that isn’t all that but does no shame to its titular novelist and the iconic bookseller who figures she “wrecked my life.”

Rating: R, nudity, sexual situations

Cast: Camille Rutherford, Pablo Pauly, Charlie Anson, Liz Crowther,
Annabelle Lengronne and Alan Fairbairn.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Laura Piani. A Sony Pictures Classic release.

Running time: 1:38

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Sundays are for Cinebingeing

Let’s catch all the trailers and features — we’ve missed…

“Friendship,” “Karate/Legends,” “Jane Austen Wrecked,”: etc. .

It’ll do until the Durham Bulls are in town.

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BOX OFFICE: “Lilo” and “Mission: Impossible” punch out “Karate Kid”

Remakes, reboots and sequels are selling all the tickets as May winds down and the summer cinema season marches into June. The “live action” remake of “Lilo & Stitch” is still pulling in parents, grandparents and the kids who insist on being taken to see it.

Deadline.com points to a $60 million+ second “Lilo” weekend, maybe $65 as they traditionally underestimate the appeal of family oriented kid fare.

The “Mission: Impossible” finale, “The Final Reckoning,” is doing half the business — if that — of “Lilo,” with a $25-28 million weekend, putting it over $120 million in two weeks while “Lilo & Stitch” might clear the$280 million mark after two weeks.

Not much left over for the umpteenth iteration of “The Karate Kid,” a venerable franchise revived for TV not once but twice, adding Jackie Chan and bringing back Ralph Macchio for “Karate Kid: Legends,” which moves on from Will Smith’s nepo baby Jaden Smith for this, the sixth big screen “Kid,” dating back to 1984.

Indiffent reviews aside, it should clear $20-21 million, and if it doesn’t — of does, barely — that should be the end of that series for another generation.

The revived “Final Destination: Bloodlines,” is raking in another $10 million, with the decades old horror franchise clearing the $100 million mark Saturday en route to a $110 million total by weekend’s end.

Conversely, A24’s original horror title “Bring Her Back” is lurching towards a $7-8 million opening weekend.

If you wonder why Hollywood is perfectly content to serve up nothing but remakes, rehashes and sequels, there’s your explanation. Cinematic comfort food pays off. Even the exhausted “Karate Kid” will out earn most “original” titles. “Sinners” was both a unicorn, and the exception that proves the rule.

It’s doubtful Wes Anderson’s “The Phonecian Scheme” will earn enough in the biggest cities (limited opening this weekend) and elsewhere (next weekend) to make much of a dent in the BO leader board.

But if you’re limiting yourself to truly “new” film fare, the pickings have been slim this spring and summer.

This weekend’s other “news” is that “Thunderbolts*” and “Sinners” exit the top five, but not the top ten.

“Hurry Up Tomorrow” exits the top ten and puts The Weeknd’s big screen dreams to bed.

“The Amateur” finishes its run after earning just over $40 million, and Disney’s live action “Snow White” won’t reach the $90 million mark and it loses the last of its screens at $87.

“The Accountant 2” might reach the $70 million mark — barely — as it hangs around one more week.

“Friendship” and “The Last Rodeo” are eyeing the $10 million mark hurdle, which both may clear by weekend’s end.

I’ll update these figures as more data comes in Sat. and Sunday.

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Movie Preview: Pete Davidson has a new job at “The Home”

And it’s not going well.

This looks good and creepy and “Clockwork” ish.

July 25.

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