“The Crimson Pirate?” Yarrrrr, there’s a pirate picture with teeth!
Gore Verbinski borrowed from a parade of pirate movies when he concocted Disney’s “Pirates of the Caribbean” franhcise, none more than this jaunty romp from 1952.
Warner Bros. gave star Burt Lancaster the keys to the bank for this 1952 Technicolor, Italian-location spectacle, with sailing ships and satin shirts and Burt and his lifelong pal and acrobatic partner Nick Cravat put on a stunt show worthy of its own theme park attraction.
It’s barely more piratical than those singing, dancing “Pirates of Penzance,” a sailing saga that’s silly down to its knickers — or pirate “petticoat breeches.” But boy oh, is it a hoot.
Lancaster, with Cravat, faces the camera in the film’s opening scene and addresses the crew and the audience.
“Remember, in a pirate ship, in pirate waters, in a pirate world, ask no questions. Believe only what you see. No, believe half of what you see!”
But those stunts? All that climbing and swinging and tumbling? Believe that.
Lancaster is Captain Vallo, who leads a crew of twenty or so swabs on his trusty barkentine, the Lydia, in the late (ish) 18th century. They’re doing what pirates did back then, preying on Spanish galleons and men-of-war.
How does a crew from a tiny, flying jib two-masted ship capture a three-masted 30-gun Spanish frigate? By playing dead, “a scurvy ship” taken in tow by the Baron Gruda (Leslie Bradley). Those corpses come to life when the timing’s right.
“You may be over-confident, Captain Vallo. There are 200 of the King’s marines aboard this vessel!”
“And only 20 pirates. That puts the odds slightly in my favour. Better surrender the ship!”
Captain Vallo polishes off this bravado with a toothy grin. Lancaster grins so much in this action comedy he’s practically a parody of his “image” — lithe, athletic, tossled reddish blonde hair and teeth.
The cunning captain hears what Gruda’s mission is and is all ears. (And teeth.) The Baron is traveling to some (fictional) islands in a sea that may or may not be Caribbean with orders and troops enough to put down a rebellion. The locals want independence, and a figure nicknamed El Libre may be close to providing it.
What if the pirate sails into port on the baron’s ship, takes over the baron’s mission and sells the baron’s guns and powder to the rebels? How about kidnapping El Libre and selling him to the baron in the bargain?
“Gather round, lads!” I tellya, there’s FLORINS to be make if we play all the angles.
But of course El Libre has a daughter, the fair Consuelo (Eva Bartok, fiesty). That has the skipper figuring that maybe there’s another angle to play here, one with curves.
The baron and assorted officials must be foiled and fooled, and a “by the (pirate) book” piratical first mate Humble Bellows (Thorin Thatcher, magnificent) must be placated or fended off.
“We got regular pirate business to settle. We got the plank, the culprit and the verdict. All we need’s a trial, an execution and a sentence!”
Vallo and his mute lieutent Ojo (Cravat) cheat death a dozen times, shimmy up masts and swing from ropes, tumble through town and dress in drag. All in a good day’s fun.
“This one can’t talk, and this one can’t keep quiet!”
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