Netflixable? Cry “Havoc,” and let’s slip Tom Hardy another ammo clip

Netflix writing a big fat check to the filmmaker who gave us the gonzo Indonesian action franchise “The Raid” was a smart move.

But even fans of the over-the-top mayhem that is writer-director Gareth Evans’ trademark may be moved to mutter, “Damn, how many rounds does that shotgun/pistol/assault rifle HOLD?” in “Havoc.”

Stylized, lurid, with a “Streets of Fire/Sin City” look and vibe, “Havoc” is a guns-blazing “Free Fire” style shoot-em-up where the action’s so fierce it’s a wonder anybody has time to think about reloading, including the script supervisor, the person on set in charge of continuity, the one voice who might say “Hey, shouldn’t Tom Hardy ‘reload’ after all that?”

“Havoc” is what Hardy’s character Walker wreaks in a furious display of dirty cop on dirty cop violence, all of it triggered by killing the wrong Chinese Triad gang family heir (Jeremy Ang Jones).

The guys blamed for that just pulled off a tractor trailer hijacking, dumping their washing machine cargo onto cop cars in a furious chase through an unnamed, grimy and grey, neon-spattered city. The leader of that pack (Justin Cornwell) just might be the son of the city’s next mayor.

That candidate (Oscar winner Forest Whitaker) just got an investigation “fixed,” and now he’s ready to “fix” the city. Fat chance of that, as he’s corrupt to his core, with corrupt cops — specifically Walker — at his beck and call.

“Dirty Money” Walker is sent to find the son and his girlfriend/accomplice (Quelin Sepulveda) before the Dragon Lady of the Tsui Triad (Yann Yann Yeo, fierce) does. Not that he’s happy about that.

“Your son s–t the bed so bad it’s gonna take a magic WAND to clean this up!”

Other dirty cops, led by Vince (Timothy Olyphant) are also in on the hunt.

The disheveled, slovenly homicide detective Walker, saddled with a do-gooder “uniform” (Jessie Mae Li) as Ms. “We’re not partners, awright?,” struggling to get a pawn shop-purchased gift for his six-year-old daughter this Christmas Eve, has to investigate, torture and shoot his way through legions of mostly-Chinese hoodlums, with a few murderous cops tossed in, to “save” the son and/or stop a gang war.

The British-born writer-director Evans pins us to our seats with that reckless/heedless opening car/truck chase and shootout, and rarely takes his foot off the gas. That’s his style.

The threats are pithy, and terminal.

“I flew halfway across the world to identify my child,” Ms. Tsui growls on the phone to candidate Lawrence. “Now I’m coming for yours.”

“Havoc” is a movie bathed in corruption, with even the uncorrupted aware of what’s going on and tolerating the dirty cops, dirty politicians and dirty money. This is the ultimate dystopia, one brought on when the rule of law is abandoned. It’s anarchy created by oligarchy.

Not all of it makes sense, and a lot of what happens hews too closely to formula. Why do cops always have an old “cabin by the lake” that their old man left them? So they can have a proper setting for the climactic shoot-out.

But the fights — featuring fists, feet, swords and knives and guns — are breathtaking.

And Hardy’s a stoic, steely presence at the center of it all, a tough guy among tough guys, dirtied and bloodied, but moral in that sort of John Woo killer’s code. He makes buying-in easy as we follow a bloody, unsentimental off-the-books “investigation” through confrontation after confrontation on our way to an epic conclusion.

It’s amazing how much “Havoc” you can create when almost nobody pauses to reload.

Rating: TV-MA, bloody violence from start to finish, gunplay, profanity

Cast: Tom Hardy, Jessie Mae Li,
Quelin Sepulveda, Justin Cornwell, Yann Yann Yeo, Timothy Olyphant and Forest Whitaker

Credits: Scripted and directed by Gareth Evans. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:47

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Movie Review: Affleck and Bernthal BOTH do the math in “The Accountant 2”

It’s too long and entirely too damned glib about the ultraviolent mayhem it unleashes on the just and the unjust.

The plot is intentionally convoluted, with “hero” assassins and a disapproving Fed out to save a lady assassin from the the child trafficking murderers who made her.

Yes, that sounds suspiciously like the plot to John Wick meets the “Ballerina.”

And that effete, nerdy autistic accent Ben Affleck slings in his return as “The Accountant” is…a choice. As the character is on the autism spectrum, one wonders if this is Health and Human Services Secretary Brain Worm approved.

But Affleck and Jon Bernthal click as assassin brothers who reunite for “The Accountant 2,” a bloody-minded, firearm and fusillade filled line-dancing buddy comedy version of “Sound of Freedom.”

Director Gavin O’Connor (“Warrior”) also returns from the 2016 film and just steamrolls through logical lapses and other shortcomings in a film that ultimately amuses and never spares the mayhem. Give all involved their due. This beast plays and satisfies. And how.

Our not-entirely-humorless on-the-spectrum savant is living a lonely life in Idaho, desperate enough to change that by enlisting in a speed dating event, still too practical to give up living in an Airstream trailer, which doesn’t impress all the single ladies…of Boise, but does have room for a lot of guns.

Chrisian Wolff gives the appearance of an accounting assassin who has all but retired.

But the murder of his retired former Federal contact (J.K. Simmons) in the film’s opening scene sends Federal Financial Crimes Enforement Network (a real Federal agency…for now) deputy director Medina (Cynthia Addai-Robinson, also returning to the sequel) in search of answers about what her former colleague was digging into that had him magic marker “Find The Accountant” on his arm as one of his last living acts.

Reaching out to a school full of autistic “savants” like Wolff, supported by Wolff, brings The Accountant to Medina. And he lets her know that getting to the bloody bottom of what appears to be a human trafficking case run by a murderous lowlife (Robert Morgan) who can afford to hire whole teams of contract killers will require help.

First, they’ll need to use The Accountant’s unseen Brit (Alison Wright) and their version of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters’ crack team of teen hackers. And Wolff will require the assistance of his slightly less awkward, just-as-murderous brother Braxton (Bernthal) to finish this dirty, off-the-books, high-body-count job.

The school for gifted, on-the-spectrum hacker kids is an inspired invention, a deus ex machina of competitive, mostly-silent teens and tweens who can break into any electronic system, invade any privacy and manipulate devices and people to find out anything, steal any selfie, track any person or device.

But the master stroke here is promoting Bernthal to co-star. He’s antic to Affleck’s shy and reserved, giving Brax a big-spending, high-living, lolipop-sucking swagger in opposition to brother Chris’s baggy dad pants and practical wind breaker jackets.

Brax is amoral and annoying, shrugging off torture and killing their way to answers in ways the Fed never abides.

“Were you dropped on your head as a child?”

He gets under his brother’s skin like the never-grew-up-adolescent he remains, mimicking Chris the way he probably has since he was eight and Chris was 10.

“Don’t repeat me!”

“Don’t REPEAT me!”

Their chemistry together rarely feels forced, even when autistic Chris decides, on impulse, to learn country music line-dancing.

Our chilly Debbie Harry-meets-Florence Pugh Latina assassin (Daniela Pineda) is mainly just a dye-job, haircut and dead-eyed look of feigned disinterest in people and violence stolen from a whole series of Luc Besson lady-“cleaner” thrillers.

But her big fight delivers, and even the over-the-top slaughter of the film’s finale has a saving grace. It’s set up by a lovely gut-punch moment with no words in which the remote-control teen savant hackers realize what flesh-and-blood bad guys do to children.

Whatever the “puzzle” all involved must figure out, whatever the good guys do that’s as bad as the bad guys, “Accountant 2” trots along on the backs of Affleck, freed to be “funny” in the part, and Bernthal, whose bluff and ebulient presence gives him that freedom.

It’s not particularly ambitious and there’s barely a hint of “breaks from formula” in it. But in “The Accountant 2,” it’s not the individual numbers that matter. It’s how it all adds up.

Rating: R, graphic violence, imperiled children, profanity

Cast: Ben Affleck, Jon Bernthal, Cynthia Addai-Robinson, Daniela Pineda, Grant Harvey, Robert Morgan and J.K. Simmons.

Credits: Directed by Gavin O’Connor, scripted by Bill Dubuque. An MGM/Amazon release of a Warner Bros. film.

Running time: 2:04

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Movie Review: It’s game-over if you can’t make it “Until Dawn”

You could probably tell in a couple of minutes that this weekend’s cinematic sacrificial lamb to the horror gods is based on a video game without being reminded that “Until Dawn” was born on Playstation in the opening credits.

Stock characters stuck in stock situations, weary horror tropes trotted out by the basketful, because a lot of them are needed in a movie whose game-origins are clearly given away by the number of “lives” our pretty young leads have in a story that has them die awfully, only to die and die again unless they can survive in a remote welcome center “Until Dawn.”

Horror is a film genre that doesn’t need fresh excuses to recycle the same wanton slaughter stories, where the director’s only real contribution might be in the “creative” methods of murder — dismemberment, bodies exploding or victims yanked and yanked off camera to face their fate. David F. Sandberg directed “Annabelle: Creation” and the “Shazam” movies but earns no brownie points for originality here.

Five friends Jeeptrip into the boonies for a weekend outing which turns out to be a “retrace the steps” of one member of the crew’s sister’s last days. Melanie (Maia Mitchell) disappeared out here, and we — unlike the quintet — know her fate. We saw her claw her way out of underground imprisonment only to be butchered by her masked captor in the film’s opening scene.

Her sister Clover (Ella Rubin), Clover’s ex Max (Michael Cimino), their pals Megan (Ji-young Yoo) and Nina (Odessa A’zion) are joined by surprise Nina’s latest fling Abe (Belmont Cameli) , who had no idea he was needed because he’s the one with the Jeep Commander and he’s needed to drive them into some morbid remembrance/investigation.

Megan claims to be a psychic, which nicely bookends Abe’s dopey “psyche major” status, with Max showing his brave side because he wants to win back Clover. And none of them let the creepy old guy (“Fargo” and “John Wick” legend Peter Stormare) running the convenience store they stop in scare them off.

“Each year is the same, but different!”

That’s how they end up at the Glore Valley Welcome Center, the very town where “a lot of people go missing.” Because even towns where a lot of people vanish have Chamber of Commerce visitors’ centers.

A “water wall” rainstorm traps them there, where they start to see visions of missing Melanie and a Glore witch and a murderer who appears to keep his porcelin mask on with nails. There’s this baroque clockwork hourglass on the wall, a guest register filled with the same signatures, and a basement with windows covered by the dirt they’re buried in.

Characters start shouting “Oh sh–!” at the bizarre and horrific things they see and experience. And they die off. But not just the once. They do this, in rapid succession, each time they come back to life.

Somebody cracks that yeah, “there are a LOT of movies” with this sort of plot. Nobody notes how similar to a video game it all is — alien, ax murderer, Glore Witch — there’s a cornucopia of carnage and those creating it in store for our fab five.

The characters aren’t sketched in. They’re underscripted outlines for “characters,” which might cut it for a video game, but not for a movie. The multiple deaths and rebirths fatally lower the plot’s stakes, and nobody in the cast makes us feel the terror or the grisly ends that keep happening to them.

This movie doesn’t just play like a video game you’re already tired of. Sandberg and the credited screenwriters never stop reminding us this is more “Sony intellectual property” (Sony owns Playstation and Screen Gems, the film distributor) than a coherent, empathy-engendering, viewer-involved “story.”

Rating: R, graphic violence, profanity

Cast: Ella Rubin, Michael Cimino,
Odessa A’zion,
Ji-young Yoo, Belmont Cameli, Maia Mitchell and Peter Stormare.

Credits: Directed by David F. Sandberg, scripted by Blair Butler and Gary Dauberman, based on the Playstation video game. A Sony/SCreen Gems release.

Running time: 1:43

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Silencing the cell, it’s “Accountant 2” time

Curious to see how they explain Affleck’s accent in this sequel.

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Movie Review: A Gay Fantasia about Honest Abe’s Same Sex Romance — “Lavender Men”

“Lavender Men” is an ambitious but meandering and indulgent indie film failure.

It’s not the subject matter that does it in, as it’s another film (“Lover of Men”) and play (“Oh, Mary!”) that dives into the notion that Abraham Lincoln was bisexual.

It’s not the structure that derails it, although the fact that it’s a film and a play makes it myopic, theatrical, stagebound and neither real nor sufficiently surreal to quite come off.

Starring and co-written by Roger Q. Mason, “Lavender Men” indulges in gay “fantasia” storytelling to connect Lincoln the man and his last same sex love affair (historians debate a couple of possible romances) to Generation Grindr and “swipe right” sexual freedom. The “love connection” never quite clicks.

Even the widely-accepted history is kind of bungled as our protagonist (Mason), the stage manager of a Life of Lincoln play, is drawn back into the 1860s to imagine queer identity back then and to lecture “our greatest president” on that, true love and to remind Abe and viewers that Lincoln wanted to “free the slaves” and “send them back to Africa,” the ultimate act of “erasure.”

Re-pronouned Taffeta has to “work harder than anybody else in this theater” on this somewhat goofy and under-budgeted Lincoln play. Stage Manager Taffeta notes which actress blows her cues, resets the stage after every performance and launders the costumes, pausing only to scroll through the latest hook-up offerings on the Backdoor Baby app, dreaming of what might have been.

Half “black Irish” and half-Filipino, Taffeta is plus-sized and romantically rejected, with body image issues that outlasted sexual identity and racial identity ones. Identifying as female/”they,” Taffeta has crushes. One of them isn’t the actor playing Abe (Ted Rooney), who makes a crude come-on and tops that with insults when he’s rejected.

Surviving that and the humiliation of walking in on a couple of crushes hooking-up back-stage triggers something in the stage manager. Taffeta procedes to dream up the alleged 1860 affair between pre-candidate Lincoln and the much younger “greatest little man (he was short) I ever met,” Elmer Ellsworth.

Taffeta is both witness to and hostess for the viewer’s experience of Abe (Pete Ploszek) flirting with the frustrated soldier turned law clerk, Elmer (Alex Esola). Taffeta also participates in history, playing a recruit training under Ellsworth, an army officer and even the angry, suspicious and controlling Mary Todd Lincoln, who works to separate the two men before the presidential campaign heats up.

All these characters were real historical figures, even if you’ve never heard of them. So any liberties taken with facts or assumptions made when the facts run out are excused by the phrase “It’s a fantasia, say whatever you want.”

Taffeta argues that “Everybody believes in a little revisionist history these days,” and if Taffeta has to endure being racially “erased,” mis-pronouned and fat-shamed, so will the “Republicans” “smearing Lincoln’s legacy” with every racist, misogynistic and homophobic act.

“I read the book,” she hisses. “I saw the damned movie.” Taffeta’s history will have to do.

That’s probably not good enough for most. Historically, this film falls closer to “Drunk History” than Ken Burns, Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough.

Director Lovell Holder (“Loserville”), expanding the short film he and Mason made about “Taffeta,” wrings as much visual variety out of a small theater and stage sets as he can even if “Lavender Men” never sheds the “filmed play” pejorative.

The narrative plays like an historic soap opera with on-stage commentary by Taffeta, who has issues they want to get off their chest. The dialogue and monologues by Taffeta can be sharp and “memory play” poetic. But the script introduces more ideas than it can resolve, and lapses into the personal as a way of reaching for pathos that often isn’t there.

“Lavender Men” might work better as a play. Even if it’s not as “historical” as a “Drunk History” take on the subject and not remotely as amusing as that show or the widely-acclaimed stage comedy “Oh, Mary!” which is still running as of this writing, there’s always room for another “gay fantasia” on the 16th president, if only to watch conservatives’ heads explode at the thought.

Rating: unrated, sexual situations, profanity

Cast: Roger Q. Mason, Pete Ploszek, Alex Esola, Ted Rooney, Phillipe Bowgen, Gillian Williams and Mia Ellis.

Credits: Directed by Lovell Holder, scripted by Roger Q. Mason and Lovell Holder. A Pride Flix release.

Running time: 1:42

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Documentary Preview “Pee Wee as Himself”

Paul Reubens, aka Pee Wee Herman, tells his story from beyond the grave in this two-part documentary, finished after his death/

Reubens jokes, stares death in the face, recalls the “drugs” etc. Does he share the glory of creation with Phil Hartman, who helped him invent the character, his “playhouse” and PeeWeeVerse? That’s what I’m curious about.

May 23 on HBO Max, does Pee Wee turn magnanimous? Post mortem? HBO is giving him three and a half hours of screentime to say his goodbyes and all.

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Classic Film Review: James Mason makes his mark in Britain’s “Casablanca” — “Candlelight in Algeria” (1943)

Hollywood won the race to get a drama about the Allied invasion of North Africa into theaters largely due to luck. Warner Brothers bought the rights to an unproduced play written in 1940 that just happened to be set in a bar in a city that would make headlines when American, British and Free French troops stormed ashore in Algeria, Oran and Morocco in early Nov. of 1942.

“Casablanca,” as it was titled, had its premiere moved up to November 26, 1942 to take advantage of the triumphant war news headlines, and came to be regarded as one of the greatest films ever made, certainly the high water of Hollywood’s studio system.

But the Brits, who’d been fighting in North Africa since the summer of 1940, were not to be left out.

“Candlelight in Algieria” may not have had the punchy title “Casablanca.” But it’s got a rogueish romantic hero, played by James Mason, on his way to becoming Britain’s biggest box office star. He’s paired-up with plucky Canadian actress Clara Lehmann , playing a not-so-neutral “American” caught up in intrigues. It’s got espionage, shooting, a car chase, Vichy “patriots” under the thumb of urbane, ruthless Nazis, a fancy night club where love songs are sung in French and you’d never know there was a war on, thanks to the way the French, German and other Europeon swells there dress.

And it’s got a place for a spy on the lam to lay low, “the Casbah, home to vice, lair to criminals and the hideout of every thief and murderer in Algiers!”

“Candlelight” is a rakish, flippant thriller about a spy enlisting an American sculptress into stealing a camera with a photo of a map that gives away the location to a meeting between French, American and British military men.

It was inspired by a real event in WWII lore, the “lonely house” meeting of Allied and Vichy officers that fixed the landing points in Morocco for the invasion of North Africa.

Lehmann plays a “not interested in politics” Kansas artist who wakes up in an Algerian hospital just as the victory parades are wrapping up (documentary footage) in 1943. She tells a nurse nun her story about her role in the victory just achieved.

A supposed escape POW pilot (Mason) tries to burgle the Biskra house where Susan Ann Foster is staying. She gets the drop on him, so he tells her this fantastic story.

Mistrust or not, soon Alan Thurston has entangled Susan in his scheme to nab this camera from the actress (Enid Stamp-Taylor) where the ladies’ man “operative” stashed it. As that actress has the romantic attentions of a German officer (Raymond Lovell) and the camera is being pursued by the sinister German intelligence agent and Armistice Commission enforcer Dr. Muller (Walter Rilla), this is going to be tricky.

But a few feminine wiles and clumsy plot contrivances later and Susan has the camera and is on the hunt for Thurston, questioning women like the fetching waitress Yvette (Pamela Stirling) because, as she soon figures out, our proto-James Bond is a ladies’ ‘man.

Through it all, the takes are high even if the romantic banter between “Kansas” and “Mister Stiff Upper Lip” or “Old School Tie” never lets us fear for their safety.

Lehmann isn’t the most convincing “American,” thanks to a script that has the Kansas gal refer to “Britishers” and use entirely too many Britishisms to “pass.” But Lehmann embodies the cliched “American pluck” the Brits were so sold on, a smart alec who never tires to telling this fake “escaped” POW to lose his facial hair.

“The only job a man can do that a woman can’t is grow a mustache, like that one!”

Mason makes a dashing rogue of a leading man, a status he’d only recently attained. Lehmann has more scenes and more agency in the plot, making our brave hero something of a delegator when it comes to dangerous spywork.

But the dialogue, juiced up by actor and sometime writer John Clements crackles.

“Do you know, I think I believe you?”

“That’s decent of you.”

Shot on soundstages (save for the car chase) in wartime Britain, “Candlelight” is more impressive as “Casablanca” in its gritty look, and dusty lived-in desert town feel, making art director Norman G. Arnold one of the true stars of this black and white classic.

No, it’s not “Casablanca.” The romance is perfunctory, as is the way the script disposes of Thurston’s other paramours. The nightclub is limited to one scene and the songs heard never became iconic. There’s more suspense, a little more action. But the cast is a little thin on big name character actor support — Lovell’s amusingly inept German, Leslie Bradley’s swooning-over-Susan French officer barely suffice.

That doesn’t mean this barely historical lark isn’t fun. Making a light action thriller in the middle of a world war was no mean feat. And in its way, the Brit film endures, unburdened by the label “masterpiece” and playing more lightly than some other classic of the era we can think of “as time goes by.”

Rating: “approved,” violence

Cast: Carla Lehman, James Mason, Walter Rilla, Pamela Stirling, Enid Stamp-Taylor, Leslie Bradley and Raymond Lovell.

Credits: Directed by George King, scripted by Brock Clements, Katherine Strueby and John Clements. A British Lion/20th Century Fox release on Tubi, other streamers

Running time: 1:26

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Movie Review: Bad Manners at a Dinner Party — “The Trouble with Jessica” is that She’s Dead

An ever-so-British dinner party goes ever-so-wrong in ever so many British ways in “The Trouble with Jessica,” a dark but twee comedy of manners.

The “dark” comes from the suicide of a narcissistic, newly-published author who crashes a gathering of old friends to flirt with the married men, insult the women and kill herself as her final act as a troubled and trouble-making attention whore.

And the “twee” spins out of the event itself, friends-since-college who gather for dinner and the host’s famed “clafoutis,” and reactions of the guests — to Jessica’s presence, to Jessica’s ill-mannered man-hunting and to Jessica’s body when she hangs herself in the garden. Those reactions range from shock and grief to self-serving to self-pitying as it seems Jessica has thrown a spanner in the works of a pending and much-needed sale of the posh semi-detached town home where all this takes place.

It’s all feather light and fussy and dash-it-all droll.

Alan Tudyck (“Tucker and Dale vs. Evil,” “Death at a Funeral”) is architect Tom, who preps the meal with wife Sarah (Shirley Henderson of “Greed” and “Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day”) as audience and sounding board.

They’re having over their oldest friends for one last dinner, finished off with clafoutis, before they sell this lovely, roomy, tony neighborhood/high-priced home.

They met domestic violence counselor Beth — Olivia Williams, “The Father” and Camilla in “The Crown” — and barrister Richard (Rufus Sewell, now in Netflix’s “The Diplomat”) in university.

That’s also where they all met Jessica (Indira Varma of “Rome,””Game of Thrones”), the uninvited guest who tags along with Beth and Richard, much to Sarah’s chagrin. The vaping ex-newspaper columnist Jessica may be enjoying great success, thanks to a sexy memoir just published. But to Sarah, she’s a “narcissicist” who’s “led this life of zero responsibility.” And she always comes-on to Sarah’s husband Tom.

The night will start out testy and go downhill from there, with unfiltered Jessica getting under everyone’s skin, especially Sarah’s, as she holds true to form — flirting with Tom, insulting everybody else by labeling them.

“Charming amoralist” Richard,” “po-faced do-gooder” Beth, “pathological dreamer” Tom and “grown up” Sarah will tolerate only so much from the self-described “f–k-up” Jessica before tempers flare.

And when they do, Jessica skips out to kill herself.

The reactions to this “dilemma” are panicked and exasperated. Only Beth really seems to grieve as the remaining members of the quartet debate the merits of “We’d better call someone” and only Sarah is angry enough at Jessica to consider what this will do to their urgent impending high-value home sale.

The rich “new buyers” (Amber Rose Revah and Sylvester Groth) show up and must be kept in the dark, as will the cops and the fangirl neighbor. The comedy comes from those interlopers and the increasingly edge-of-manic responses by our reserved and out of their depth foursome as they face this “tragedy of the North London elite.”

It’s all utterly predictable, of course — the “What will we do with the body?” debates, obligations and blackmail considerations trotted out, flashbacks to who Jessica was.

First time feature director and co-writer (with James Handel) Matt Winn cast this dinner party with care and leans into the movie’s simple, claustrophobic theatrical structure and assorted twee running gags to make this work.

The repeated phrase “Who DOES that?” applies to killing oneself at a friend’s dinner party, demanding to see a house you’re buying in the middle of the night, etc. The film is divided into cutesie “chapters” including “The Trouble with Neighbors,” “The Trouble with Friends” and “The Trouble with Rich People.”

And nobody involved is neutral on the subject of that overdue dessert, the claofoutis.

As cute and predictable as this all is, the cast hurls itself at this slight farce and makes it play. Tudyck and Henderson, better known as in-demand voice actors these days, are crisply credible as a long-married couple. And Williams and Sewell bring real fire to their fighting each other and Sarah over “the right thing to do” vs. the expedient thing.

Faced with “losing everything,” flipping out and flying into a fury is but one option. The harder one is asking “What kind of people ARE we?” and “Who DOES that?”

Rating: unrated, suicide, profanity

Cast: Shirley Henderson, Rufus Sewell, Olivia Williams, Indira Varma and Alan Tudyck

Credits: Directed by Matt Winn, scripted by James Handel and Matt Winn. A Music Box release.

Running time: 1:29

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Netflixable? Distracted Dad finally connects with his son on “The Dad Quest” to find the kid’s REAL Father

“The Dad Quest,” titled “Los Mejor del Mundo” (“The Best in the World”) in Spanish, is a Mexican remake of an Argentinian made-for-Netflix melodrama. That was titled “Hoy se arregla el mundo” (“Today We Fix the World”) and was sentimental and sweet and perfectly watchable, if a tad on the long side.

The two films’ shared story is about a distracted, loner reality TV producer who learns that the kid he’s been supporting for ten years, a Dad who’s “barely” there for the boy, isn’t his son. The dad finds out he’s not the father from the mother just before she dies in an accident.

So there’s nothing for it but for not-his-real-father to help the lad track down the real father via Mom’s phone contacts and text messages, the more suggestive the better.

The big difference between the films is the Mexican remake is played as more of a straight-up comedy, with a scatttering of big names in the cast. Director Salvador Espinosa may not have the most inviting resume (“You’ve Got This” was his). But he at least knows that comedy is supposed to be quick.

Argentine hunk Michel Brown, just seen in “With You in the Future,” is Gallo, producer of reality TV’s “Los Mejor del Mundo,” a shameless reality TV/studio audience chat show that features scandalous behavior, hypnotists and the like.

He’s on decent terms with his ex, Alicia (Fernanda Castillo) even though he’s married to his career, distracted by a big pitch he’s making to TV moguls in Miami. He can’t be bothered to help their son Benito (Martino Leonardi) with homework or personal life issues, or to indulge the kid’s desire for pizza when Gallo prefers sushi and nothing but.

The shocking news that he isn’t Beni’s father comes just as Alicia is fleeing a restaurant where they were meeting. She is promptly hit and killed by a car.

Gallo waits until after the funeral, at least, to break the news to the kid. He warns the boy that “This will hurt,” which it plainly does as he blurts it out.

The boy’s “That didn’t hurt. You’ve never been a father to me (in Spanish, or dubbed into English)” hurts more.

That guilts Gallo into agreeing to help when the child asks for help finding “my real Dad.”

Some of the candidates are funnier — Arath de la Torre plays an artist who used Alicia as a model — than others.

Alicia’s no-nonsense friend Diana (Mayra Hermosillo), who tutors Beni, joins the quest and gives it a nice comic kick. Brown makes a nice reactor to the assorted dad-candidates they meet.

If you’ve seen “Today We Fix the World” you know what works here, the sentimental stuff about a man learning the void he’s got in his life might be filled by taking more interest in the boy he’s raised as his son.

I think the remake hits the comic highlights harder. But if you’ve seen “Fix the World,” there’s no reason to bother with “Dad Quest.” If you haven’t seen the original film, “Quest” is at least a decently acted, occasionally amusing and somewhat quick “summary” of the superior film it’s based on.

Rating: TV-14, suggestive subject matter, mild profanity

Cast: Michel Brown, Martino Leonardi, Mayra Hermosillo, Fernanda Castillo,
Arath de la Torre and Erik RubĂ­n as himself.

Credits: Directed by Salvador Espinosa, scripted by Tato Alexander, based on the script to “Today We Fix the World” by Mariano Vera. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:24

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Charles Bronson has every year’s Best Earth Day Message

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