Movie Review: Mismatched Cousins Find their Pilgrimage to the Motherland “A Real Pain”

It’s true that the funniest bits in Jesse Eisenberg’s “A Real Pain” turn up in the movie’s trailers.

A lot of over-reactions and under-reactions, infectiously exhuberant changes of mood that can be exhaustingly manic, a big personality overhwelming a reserved one, blasts of setting-inappropriate profanity and a big, well-deserved slap for effect pretty much sum it up.

It’s a funny film, but never actually hilarious. It has its touching scenes, its mild jolts of surprise. And there’s the odd “teachable moment” wrapped in the comical personality clashes about Jewish history in Poland, about family history and taking responsibility for those close to you.

A couple of Jewish cousins — a nebbishy/nervous NYC worrywart and his laid-back-to-manic-in-a-flash “free spirit” country kin (Binghamton, N.Y.)  — fly to Poland to see where their grandmother grew up and fled the Holocaust to ensure they’d be born.

Dave (Eisenberg) is frantic about “schedules” and keeping up with their tour group, whom they constantly inconvenience and insincerely apologize “Sorry, so sorry” to every time they’re late. Benjy (Kieran Culkin) doesn’t sweat deadlines, missed trains or “schedules,” and mails himself some primo weed to their first hotel so that they can chill, rub the rough edges off each day and “feel” together as they take a high-end tour through trauma they will never truly know.

We pick up on unemployed Benjy’s general lack of urgency and his unfiltered, dominate-a-room energy right off. He’s constantly asking “You don’t mind the middle (seat on the airplane),” “Mind if I shower first?” passive aggressions.

He is prone to F-bomb tirades about “the corporatization of travel” and the like, which puts more polite people on their heels.

We take in the ways Dave absorbs this, indulges it, apologizes to the others in their half-dozen-member tour group and their pedantic British guide (Will Sharpe of “White Lotus”) when Benjy goes off on their bougie tour and first class train accomodations when their ancestors eighty years ago “would have been herded (into cattle cars) in the BACK of this f—–g train!”

Dave and Benjy are “types.” Dave’s persona is obvious, and Benjy’s secret pain is as well. But we’re invited to a 90 minute ride-along through Dave’s barely-controlled irritation at Benjy’s hypocritical lectures about “feeling” where they are and what is meant by visiting this cemetery, that “Jewish” gate to Lublin, Poland’s old city and the like. Benjy’s also awfully quick to talk out of turn, to take inappropriate camera poses standing in a Warsaw Uprising monument because they’re “funny,” and just as quick to enlist the rest of their group (Liza Sadovy, Kurt Egyiawan, Daniel Oreskes and Jennifer Grey) in his shenanigans.

Benjy plainly is good at reading people, and relating to them, his fondness for the f-bomb notwithstanding. Dave? He wishes he was more like Benjy even as he’s apologizing for his boorishness.

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Movie Review: Cillian Murphy’s an Irishman Haunted by the Cruelty of the Magdalene Laundries — “Small Things Like These”

There have been more emotional films about the great shame of modern Ireland, the state’s complicity with the Catholic church’s infamous “Magdalene Laundries, which imprisoned pregnant young women in convents, forced them to work for convent for-profit laundry services and made them to give up their children for adoption. “Philomena,” is merely the most celebrated screen account of this crime.

But no film has picked at the scab of cultural complicity as well as “Small Things Like These,” an adaptation of an awared-winning Claire Keegan novel. It takes aim at the conspiracy of silence that most Irish rationalized when confronted with this cruel horror in their midst perpetrated by the shadow state that was, for decades, the Catholic Church in Ireland.

Tim Mielants’ film is a showcase for brooding Oscar winner Cillian Murphy, perfectly cast as a father and coal deliveryman forced to face a great wrong he sees being perpetrated by the convent in his town, Wexford, in the 1980s.

Bill Furlong (“Oppenheimer’s” Murphy) runs a coal, firewood, propane and turf-as-fuel delivery business in the early ’80s, a father of four girls who finishes each day vigorously scrubbing the coal off his fingers so that he can enjoy the pleasures of family life without bringing “work” home with him.

Wife Eileen (Eileen Walsh) is the one doing most of the raising of this elementary school to high school quartet, with the oldest daughter sharp enough to balance Da’s books at the business. Sad-faced Bill always has a smile for his girls, but keeps his wants and needs small, and keeps his own counsel about what’s going on in his heart.

Flashbacks tell us of a few magical moments from his childhood, and that one life-altering trauma that haunts him to this day.

Then he stumbles into a girl locked in the coal shed at the local convent, one of the legions of young women “in trouble” and thus judged and sentenced — by tradition and by their families — to laboring in a convent laundry while waiting to deliver a baby most will never see.

Bill sees this as a “There but for the grace of God” connection to his own past, and his own present. He’s got four daughters, a couple of whom are getting noticed by the local boys in the golden age of “Come on Eileen” on the radio and MTV. Bill wears his unmarried mother’s surname, and sees no shame in that.

But a conspiracy of silence extends from the convent, whose Mother Superior (Emily Watson, chilling) maintains authority via threats and bribes, something the Church could manage as it controlled not just unwed mothers and out-of-wedlock working class children, but the only functioning sector of the educational system — convent schools.

Locals warn Bill to “keep on the right side of people,” to “keep the bad dog witcha so the good dog don’t bite” and the like.

His wife, Eileen, with two girls yet to be accepted by the Catholic school, is more sanguine.

 “If you want to get on in this life, there are things you have to ignore.”

If there’s a clearer “go along to get along” acquiesence to immoral rule, I’ve yet to ear it.

Bill struggles with his childhood (Louis Kirwan is Young Bill) memories. And the sight of a teen girl, shocked and shattered and ill-used, is almost too much to bear. Guilt, duty and compliance go to war for his mortal soul.

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Movie Review: Eastwood’s made a creaky court case built around “Juror #2”

Maybe the answer to “Why did Warner Brothers barely release Clint Eastwood’s ‘final film?” was that it’s just not very good.

“Juror # 2” is competently cast, acted, shot and put together. But the script is melodramatic to the point of “hackneyed,” with a couple of unintentional laughs thrown in for good measure. I caught at least one continuity error, and that is about the only thing that really held my attention the rest of the way through this eye-roller of a Clint curtain call.

Others can grade great grandpa on the curve, but about the best you can say about this “Matlock” melodrama is that it’s not “Cry Macho,” even if it’s not any better than that the worst of the “final films” that preceded it.

Nicholas Hoult stars as a recovering alcoholic and expectant father who finds himself on a Savannah murder trial jury in which he has a very important piece of evidence about the crime which the accused is seemingly certain to have commited.

Juror number two is pretty sure he himself did it.

Seeing as how another juror turns out to be a retired cop, you have to wonder if the “real” killer will get away with it. And you ponder the competence of the prosecuting attorney, running for DA (Toni Collette) and the public defender (Chris Messina) during voir dire (jury questioning and selection).

But that’s kind of the point. Eastwood’s conjured-up a condemnation of America’s justice system, and in his most Clint touch of all, leaves the rush-to-judgement “their only suspect” cops out of the equation altogether. Yeah Clint, prosecutorial misconduct along the Georgia coast always has a local policing element. Or didn’t you hear?

Jurors bicker over a verdict with the two Black jurors (Cedric Yarbrough and Adienne C. Moore) the quickest to vote “guilty” to get out of there and go home. The others, urged on by Justin (Hoult), start teasing-out other possible solutions to the mystery, and break the judge’s strict orders to not attempt their “own investigation.”

The most tainted juror of all consults his AA sponsor (Kiefer Sutherland) who conveniently turns out to be another attorney. And the advice that counselor counsels is jaw-dropping, more dramatically convenient than real world ethical.

Coincidences like that abound as our guilty juror flashes back to that fateful night and tries to head off A) sending an innocent man to prison and B) to avoid letting suspicion fall on him as he attempts that.

Eastwood serves up a politically correct jury — white, Black, Asian, female, male, young, old, etc. — passing judgment on a case so convoluted and a screenplay so contorted that even the aspiring DA starts doing her own investigating. Because again, the COPS are left out of this altogether.

The strangers in the jury room leap into instant “old man” and “stoner” insults, this coming after the second or third reference to “this flawed process” and how “imperfect it may be” to have untrained, distracted and resentful jurors forced to do the work of the court.

The worst thing anyone calls the DA is “a politician.” That’s the depth of the messaging here.

Further complicating our suspect juror’s attack of conscience and rationalizations about the other suspect being “a bad dude” is his “problem pregnancy” wife (Zoey Deutch) who needs him by her side once he’s saved the innocent man and covered his own tracks from within the jury room.

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Movie Review: Dumb action gets dumber, “Get Fast”

“Stupid is as stupid does,” and stupid’s entirely the point of “Get Fast,” a dumber-than-dumb action pic that sets out to prove how much movie you can make with pretty much no script at all.

Catch-phrases and stock characters, a film where every heist or attempt to recover the loot from a heist “always ends with a shootout,” it’s a short, stupid sprint of a low-budget action comedy, the sort of picture you get when you have to digitally add muzzle flashes to those “shoot outs” because you blew through way too much money renting a plane, a helicopter and a pricy “cowboy” outfit for the biggest name in your cast, Lou Diamond Phillips.

But take your ten gallon hats off to Valerie Biggin, who arranged the generic ’80s action pop soundtrack. That sets the cheesy tone they were going for here, and if they had fun doing car and truck chases, shoot-outs and the like on a teensy budget, well at least that’s something.

Director and co-writer James Clayton, who directed, co-wrote and co-starred in the Vinnie Jones thriller “Bullet Proof,” drops us right in the middle of the action, the climax to a chase where “partner” Vic (Philip Granger) isn’t able to fly his vintage plane to the rescue of “The Thief” (Clayton), who has robbed the drug gang run by Nushi (Fei Ren).

As Nushi’s minions Sly and Tank (Lee Majdoub and Simon Chin) and others show up to foil their getaway, partner Vic mutters “Get fast, get gone.” And the thief steals fresh wheels to make a getaway that never quite gets away.

There are dirty cops (Alisha-Marie Ahamed and James Hutson) and mob minions to overcome, an anxiety-ridden ice cream truck driver (Suleiman Abutu) to hijack and enlist and Nushi’s murderous “enforcer,” Mr. “If she’s sending who I THINK she’s sending” to be faced.

That would be “The Cowboy” (Phillips,) dolled up like New Mexican pimp ready to strut his stuff and wave his over-sized six-shooters at the Waco rodeo.

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Netflixable? Elliot Page stars in a Transgender Homecoming — “Close to You”

The Canadian drama “Close to You” is a quiet, contemplative and yet deflatingly unsurprising homecoming story about an unhappy, maladjusted daughter who returns to his former home and former life after gender reassignment treatment.

It stars the transgender actor Elliot Page, who helped create the story for a largely improvised screenplay that touches most of the bases you’d expect, but with a frankness that’s disarming and sometimes refreshing.

Sam has made a new life for himself in Toronto, enduring years of gender changing treatment to become a better-adjusted person even if he’s not exactly thriving financially.

But his father’s birthday has Sam packing for a weekend back in tiny, lakeside Cobourg, where Sam’s sisters, brother and brothers-in-law are gathering in the family home to celebrate. Sam hasn’t been there in four years.

Most will welcome him. Some will stumble over pronouns and one will fume over the “new rules” and lash out in the most predictable ways.

“We shared a f—–g bedroom, and I didn’t know you!” one sister cries in what we take to be despair and guilt.

And then there’s that high school crush (Hilary Baack) Sam stumbles into on the train. Katherine isn’t shocked at seeing him. But she’s shaken, and we can see the old feelings that she, at least, is struggling to fight off.

“I can’t, I can’t I can’t” is all she can say after all these years. She and Sam will take the time to say more, we feel. Because that’s the way melodramas with gay characters too often unfold.

Married? Loving husband? Kids? Is that just compromising her “true” self? Shouldn’t she, in her 30s, throw that all away just to see a “first love” high school flirtation through?

Writer-director Dominic Savage (“The Escape,” “Love + Hate”) treats every moment, every image with such somber gravitas that “Close to You” is practically smothered in seriousness and good intentions. Sam’s journey home is tracked in long hand-held camera treks through Toronto to the train, and a long walk home in Cobourg, with every step freighted with dread.

After a while, that gets old. And as the largely improvised conversations develop in directions that only rarely move or even surprise, the picture’s slack pacing starts to wear on you.

Wendy Crewson and Peter Outerbridge play the welcoming parents, with each having an idealized “You’re still my child” scene that moves and is a model for “how to speak to your trans kid.”

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Movie Preview: Aging and about to be unemployed, Pamela Anderson is “The Last Showgirl”

Gia Coppola directed, Brenda Song, Billie Lourd, Dave Bautista and Oscar winner Jamie Lee Curtis co-star.

This “final performance” Vegas showgirl tale has vulnerability and a little cachet, with Anderson back from the dead and a decent supporting cast.

This is getting a limited release Dec. 12.

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Movie Preview: Zambian family ponders life and death and old secrets — “On Becoming a Guinea Fowl”

Writer-director Rungano Nyoni took a top prize for this quirky drama that immerses us in a Zambian family, it’s secrets and suspicions and superstitions and funeral rituals.

Mar. 7, from A24.

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Movie Review: A French “Robin Hood” robber enjoys “Freedom,” between heists and prison time

The ambitiously titled “Freedom” is a heist picture that makes more promises than it keeps.

The latest feature from actress turned director Mélanie Laurent (“Now You See Me,” “The Flood”) sets up as a French Robin Hood tale of an idealistic adrenalin junky who robs from the bourgeoisie and lives large on the proceeds. but never quite delivers on that premise.

We see our anti-hero make a show of tearing up the checks of proletarian grocery shoppers after he’s emptied out supermarket safes early on. But Bruno Sulak covets the thrill of the thievery more than the politics of “freedom” from debt and living life by society’s rules.

“Freedom” still makes a passable star vehicle for actor (“Emily in Paris”) and model Lucas Bravo, the pretty boy center of this fictionalized “true story” about an ’80s armed robber so handsome witnesses blushed when they tried to describe him to the cop (Yvan Attal of “Munich” and “Rush Hour 3”) on his trail.

The twenty-something Bruno hits assorted supermarkets with his hulking accomplice Drago (Steve Tientcheu). They’re armed and menacing, but “We’re not here to kill people.”

His runway-ready lover Annie (Léa Luce Busato) waits in whatever car they’ve stolen for this job, ready to drive them to whatever remote, well-appointed farmhouse they’re holed up in.

The robberies are tense but typically non-violent. The take isn’t spectacular, and the money goes through his fingers too easily for this to be sustainable.

But in this pre-Internet, limited CCTV camera past, a lot depends on the eyewitnesses who can’t help but note that descriptions and mug shots don’t do him justice.

“He’s much BETTER looking in person!”

Bruno may complain to the cop “Stop following us (in French, or dubbed into English).” “Don’t you have other criminals to put away?”

“You’re my FAVORITE,” the cop explains.

But the film’s lighter touches — permissive policing, incarceration as just a new “challege” and gamble for our hustler to master — aren’t light enough to make this a “caper comedy.” And the conventions of such a story, borne out by the reality of armed-robbery “careers,” prove too much for the script’s self-proclaimed “freedom” ethos to overcome.

Radivoje Bukvic is the Yugoslavian Steve, too cool, clever and accomplished to be caught and a real assett to their “crew.” David Margia plays the careless punk Patrick, whose arrival signals that they’re about to go down.

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BOX OFFICE: “Red One” bombs, “Heretic” thrives, “A Real Pain” opens wide, “Christmas Pageant” abides

Ill-conceived, as many a Christmas “action comedy” has been, the Dwayne Johnson/Chris Evans/J.K. Simmons “Santa’s security detail” romp “Red One” earned dismissive reviews and a great big yawn from filmgoers.

Whoever thought a $200-250 million movie about threats to Santa (Simmons), aka “Red One,” dealt with by his supernatural security detail (Johnson, recruiting Evans) was a good idea must have never seen “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”

A middling Thursday night and “Elf” sized Friday suggest $32 million is as much as it will take in on its opening weekend. Deadline.com figures $30 million will be closer to the final mark. And if it falls below that, well that’s that.

The final tally came in at $34 million.That’s 3 million tickets sold, kids, 3.1 million, tops. It’ll never come close to covering its budget and will be streaming on glitchy Amazon Prime in no time.

Johnson has taken a lion’s share of the blame for the stupid movie’s cost — greedy, an aging diva on set, always late and abusing underlings. Perhaps filmgoers are playing politics with the opportunistic Johnson and Amazon Studios’ Jeff Bezos, or perhaps they smelled a stinker before they ever carved a pumpkin. But “Red One” is going down on domestic screens, doing marginally better $36 million after opening earlier in other markets) overseas.

Wait to watch it on Amazon Prime? If you haven’t dropped it?

All the talk about this Jeff Bezos bust drowns out the “news” that Robert Zemeckis, Tom Hanks and Robin Wright and “Here” are gone from the top ten and that Sony wasted $50 million on a movie that will barely clear $13-14 by the end of its run.

“Venom: The Last Dance” should clear the $130 million mark, all-in, by Monday or Tuesday, a $7.4 million weekend.

“Best Christmas Pageant Ever” is settling in as a long-run modest-budget holiday hit and landed just shy of the $20 million mark by midnight Sunday. It cleared $5.4 million on its second weekend after opening just over $10. That’s a hit, kids.

“Heretic” rolls in at fourth place at the box office, having pulled in $15 million its first week. The film over-performed expectations with a $10.8 million opening, and it cleared $5.2 million second weekend — maybe $6.5. It’s the edgiest mainstream picture in theaters at the moment, and the smartest and Hugh Grant’s reinvention as an erudite villain is complete.

Wild Robot” ($4.3 million) is losing steam and screens, but will be over $140 million by early next week, and vanish before the holidays.

“Smile 2” is winding down its run ($2.95). It won’t have cleared $75 by the time it heads for streaming.

The Vatican politics thriller “Conclave” is sticking to the top ten, with another $2.85 million, pushing it over $26 million.

And Jesse Eisenberg’s irreverent Jewish cousins visit “The Old Country” (Poland) comedy “A Real Pain” opens reasonably wide (900 screens) and should earn over $3 million and cracked the top ten — barely. A $2.3 million “wide” (ish) opening means it won’t be in the top ten next weekend.

Neon’s “Anora” is titillating enough to be in the top ten this weekend ($1.839) but likewise won’t crack the top ten next weekend, or ever again.

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Movie Preview: Ben Stiller hits the upstaged-by-kids “Holiday Comedy” stage of his career —  “Nutcrackers”

Everything in this trailer moans “Tired” and “played.”

Linda Cardinelli co stars in this “fostering little monsters” comedy. This looks like something our lad Ben might have been in 30 years ago.

Nov. 29 on Hulu.

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