Crowd-funded and Swiss-made, “Mad Heidi” is a straight-up old school “grindhouse” splatter film, a blood-in-the-lens, naked babes in the prison shower frolic through Swiss stereotypes and Swiss cheese Nazis.

And if it was as good as its fundraising pitch and its crowd-pleasing premise, it’d be something to see, a B-movie of the “Surf Nazis Must Die” Troma Films school. As it is, it sprints out of the gate for 15 minutes, spills blood and settling scores in the finale and is boring as brie in the middle acts. Still, it should play to the Midnight Movie crowd, those not shy about going out earlier for a Fathom Events showing in cinemas all over the country June 21.

The first laugh is the Swissploitations Films production company logo, a Paramount-spoofing shot of the famed Matterhorn — the Swiss Mountain, not the Disney theme-park ride — bedecked with a crown of swirling wheels of Swiss cheese.

The cheese Nazis of the Meili Cheese monopoly have taken over Switzerland, with jackbooted militia led by Kommandant Knorr (veteran Swiss actor Max Rüdlinger) machine-gunning protestors and enforcing the country’s new anti-lactose-intolerant crackdown.

The uniformed, cheese-obessed President Meili (“Starship Troopers” veteran Casper Van Dien), “our very Swiss leader,” has made those who refuse to eat his cheese his country’s version of drag queens, transgenders, Hispanics, Blacks or Jews. They’re the minority who must be stamped out.

“Lactose intolerance is a threat from within,” all the punny public service announcements insist.

Mountain Girl Heidi (Alice Lucy) hasn’t noticed. She’s too much in love with her goatherd/goat-cheese smuggling-lover, Goat Peter, played Kel Metsena, garbed in Swiss Alpine folkwear and a Tarantino–pimped fur (ish) coat when he sneaks out to sell his cheese in bricks treated like the priciest cocaine.

All that is funny, which is why it’s so disappointing when Goat Peter meets a very Swiss end as punishment for goat cheese dealing — death by crossbow.

But we’ve got to have a reason for Heidi to be radicalized. Heidi becomes Mad Heidi just long enough to get arrested and for her eyepatch-wearing grandpa (David Schofield) to be trapped in the barn the militia burns down around him.

Time for “Mad Heidi” to turn into a Women in Prison movie, complete with weak, lactose intolerant friend Klara (Almar G. Sato) and assorted wrestler-sized inmates under the thumb of warden Fräulein Rottweiler (Katja Kolm).

That could be promising, but this is where “Mad Heidi” loses its mojo.

Only van Dien and Rüdlinger, and to a lesser extent Lucy, seem willing to as far over the top as this material demands.

The jokes about Swiss cheese, Swiss chocolate and Swiss time are amusing enough.

“Ziss iss NOT Swaziland, this iss SWITZERLAND,” van Dien’s cheddar dictator rages at tardy subordinates.

Swiss cheese is an instrument of torture and a test of patriotism. Swiss accordions are for shoving down cheese-Nazis throats.

The plot has a mad scientist (Pascal Ulli) concocting “super-Swiss cheese” that strengthens warriors and makes the populace dumb, and the script throws in a mystical “Guardian of the Motherland” (Andrea Fischer-Schulthess) whose rebel ninjas train Heidi to be a yodeling (not really) killing machine.

“Yodel me THAT!” Heidi snaps, after dispatching another German-Swiss accented Nazi.

The real Swiss locations and real Swiss in the cast give this picture the primary ingredients of a first-class lampoon, with as many opportunities missed by the screenwriters as those they grab for.

You can’t grade an indie film on the curve (an opening credits begs for that as it mentions how this was financed), and honestly, “Mad Heidi” is a bit of a disappointment.

But in the right setting, a theater full of blood-stained cinematic cheese aficionadoes, I could see it coming off — with a lot of help from the audience.

Rating: unrated, violence, nudity, profanity

Cast: Alice Lucy, Casper Van Dien, Max Rüdlinger, Almar G. Sato,
Pascal Ulli, Katja Kolm and Kel Matsena

Credits: Directed by Johannes Hartmann and Sandro Klopfstein, scripted by Johannes Hartmann, Sandro Klopfstein, Trent Haaga and Gregory D. Widmer. A Swissploitation Film, a Fathom Events (June 21 at a theater near you) release.

Running time: 1:33