First off, know this about “Passport,” a Nigerian “comedy” about a stolen passport and the neighborhood hustlers who must be cajoled into giving it back. Not all Nigerian films are this bad.

If like me you like to travel Around the World with Netflix, just for the chance to sample other cultures, storytelling styles and exotic foriegn stories, you’re going to tuck into the occasional Nigerian (“Nollywood”) film industry production. Some are quite polished, some are topical, a few are pretty well-acted and almost all of them can be revealing about the culture they come from.

But “Passport” only has a hint of any of that. A meandering, static, chattery “comedy” about a wealthy expat living in London who comes “home” to propose, it mixes experienced actors with amateurs. And everybody involved is sentenced to performing this script in a story written, acted, filmed and edited in the most painfully slow and clumsy fashion.

Many scenes cannot justify their existence. Even the ones that can go on well past any point that they make any point that advances the plot.

If the intent is to put the viewer in our anti-hero Oscar’s exasperated, insulting and exhausted shoes dealing with the predatory corruption and the performative sermonizing of almost every encounter, then well done. But make it funny, man. Here, it never is.

Oscar (Jim Iyke) is introduced in the club where he’s stuck with the bill by his “friends,” a staggering sum because “alcohol costs more here than in any city in the world.”

He’s part of a family business “empire” in London, but his cash panic turns off his avaricious intended Queen (Caroline Igben) who wants nothing to do with a guy who is on a family allowance.

When his aggravated sister stops begging him to fly home for a business meeting and starts badgering him to return because his Mom is in the hospital and on her last legs, there’s nothing for it but to book a flight, broke and defeated.

But when his uncle’s (Jide Kosoko) ancient Mercedes has a flat and “This is Nigeria, nobody carries an extra tire,” that sets Oscar up to have his man purse snatched by Mighty (Lina Idoko) and her running mate (Emeka Nwagbaraocha).

At this, the midpoint of the picture, we finally get to what “Passport” is all about. That whole bar-tab debate, courtship of a golddigger prologue is rendered pointless. Coupled with the static, insult-and-argument scenes that follow — each dragging on past its payoff, “Passport” never overcomes the impression of a movie that’s literally sitting still.

Oscar’s uncle points him to local agitator Kopiko (Mercy Johnson Okojie), a mouthy talks-your-ear-off type trying to run for neighborhood chairwoman against the crooked Prof (Emem Ufot), basically a “fence,” and his gangster boss “Terminator” (Zubby Michael).

“Passport” invites us to grind our teeth over Oscar’s frustration at dealing with talkative villains at every turn, because Kopiko’s sister was the thief, Mighty, and Mighty will have to use the fence and that puts Oscar’s man-purse, his credit cards, phone and passport in the hands of Terminator.

The insults can be amusing. Kopiko’s “fashion suicide” attire and “last week’s weed” scent are brought up, and one and all gripe about Oscar’s “grammar,” his London-polished English and Yoruba.

Oscar’s city slicker making threats could have been funny. No, not “everybody can be ghetto.”

But the laughs, if there are any, must be culturally specific as these talkative “types” are not played by natural comedians (aside from Okojie, who wears out her welcome in her first scene) and the direction doesn’t point us to what’s funny in any situation.

Only a couple of chase scenes give us a view of the poor “Brown Street” neighborhood this is set in. The set design — crook’s lair, fence’s “office, a dumpy house or two, a police station, clinic and club — is better than anything that takes place on those sets.

There are good films that come out of Nigeria. But as we’ve seen with Spanish, Indonesian, Italian and Brazilian pictures financed or purchased with Netfix cash, a lot of hustling film producers are treating the streaming service like a rube that answers a cash-offer email from a Nigerian “prince.”

Rating: TV-MA, fisticuffs, profanity

Cast: Jim Iyke, Mercy Johnson Okojie, Lina Idoko, Emeka Nwagbaraocha, Jide Kosoko, Emem Ufot and Zubby Michael.

Credits: Directed by Dimeji Ajibola, scripted byAbosi Ogba. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:49