Documentary Review: Considering, remembering and dissecting the legend that was “Zappa”

Just defining who and what Frank Zappa was, just categorizing the music he performed, is daunting enough. Try summing up his life and career in a mere documentary.

Autodidact and polymath, iconoclast, satirist and gadfly, composer of comic ditties, fusion mashups and pieces for full if somewhat oddly-adorned orchestras in “rhythmic polymetric notation,” Zappa cut a huge swath through music, culture and the “culture wars” before he died of prostate cancer in 1993.

Alex Winter’s “Zappa” is perhaps the most thorough Zappa screen biography to come along, and that’s acknowledging how hopeless the job of making The Compleat Zappa bio-doc is. And even this two hours+ film is missing memories from Zappa’s famous (and apparently feuding) children. There’s no mention of his first band, and that famous appearance, as a kid, on a Steve Allen show “playing” a bicycle is left out.

Winter — best-known for being the first half of “Bill & Ted,” but director of terrific non-fiction films on crypto-currency and “The Panama Papers” — frames “Zappa” within Frank’s late life triumphs.

Zappa was so celebrated in Czechoslovakia that after “The Velvet Revolution,” he was brought in and feted, mobbed everywhere he went when he performed there in 1991. The reasons for that are surprising, and explained here.

And his late-life orchestral concerts in Frankfort, Germany with Ensemble Modern are sampled to close the film.

But one thing “Zappa” gets across most clearly is that his shows were never mere “concerts.” Modernist, jazzy and surreal “comedy rock,” they were multi-media events — often with choreography — “happenings” as they could be called in the ’60s, but spectacles to the very end.

An old interview shows Zappa taking a film crew through his vast personal archives, album and concert master recordings. He kept home tapes of jams with friends from Don Glen (Van) Vliet, aka Captain Beefheart, Eric Clapton and others, his films and films he did soundtracks for such as stop-motion clay animations by filmmaker and fan Bruce Bickford — the works. Winter had access to mountains of material, hour after hour of Zappa interviews on TV and radio, a famous 1970s TV special that never aired.

“Go ahead and bleep it,” Zappa jokes to one New York chat show host who feigns shock at the unfiltered Frank’s 1970s provocations. Conservatives debating him over censoring and/or putting warning stickers on music in the ’80s were left no doubt what Frank thought they should “kiss.” On TV.

The filmmaker spoke with many a musician who worked with Zappa over the decades, from The Mothers of Invention to Steve Vai. Alice Cooper describes him as “our savior,” with Zappa signing Cooper & Band to a record deal that launched them.

Rare footage of John Lennon and Yoko Ono joining Frank and The Mothers onstage captures just how influential the guy was during his Laurel Canyon heydays, in the 1960s.

The Kronos Quartet gets together for a fresh rendition of a piece Zappa composed for them in the ’80s.

The portrait that emerges is complicated and messy, an arrogant, brilliant, condescending and standoffish artist who wanted every show to be it’s own
“composition.”

“It won’t be perfect, it’ll be music,” he lectures his accompanists for one show, informing them that he will at times just “show you a chord” and expect them to invent and keep up.

A sexist and a womanizer, “politically incorrect” way ahead of his time, every record he made during his “rock” years was filled with provocations and slaughtered sacred cows.

Zappa kept even musicians he used again and again over the decades at arm’s-length. “You were just a tool” to him, Vai offers, and longtime collaborator Ruth Underwood and others agree.

But few musicians persevered through wide public indifference like Zappa, and few made grander use of every “moment” the culture afforded him. He was disdainful of the dumb drug jokes of his 1978 “Saturday Night Live” appearance. But the show, where he ridiculed disco with “Dancing Fool,” was something of a cultural watershed. Disco died that night.

“Valley Girl” became a touchstone, and remembering its sad origins (Moon Unit, his daughter, slipped a note “pitching” the basic idea under her neglectful Dad’s studio door) colors in his character further — playful music made by a serious, cynical workaholic.

But long before that “break,” all the “cool kids” knew “Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow.” And after “Valley Girl,” America had its most outspoken champion of free speech. Zappa spent much of the ’80s doing interviews on TV and appearing before Congress.

For all the archival Zappa interviews, Winter’s anchor interview here is footage of Zappa’s widow Gail (who died in 2015), the one who “got” him, put up with him and kept the flame of his ouevre alive. Gail Zappa ties most of the disparate elements that comprised Frank together for “Zappa,” from his cultural commentary to his musical idealism.

He didn’t seek fame or riches from his music, Gail says. Frank’s measure of whether a piece was a success was “how close did you get to the realization of the idea as you had it.” Maybe he was never truly satisfied. But what he left behind influenced others, and endures in its own right. Because nobody else ever did it the way Zappa did.

MPA Rating: unrated, some profanity, lots and lots of smoking

Cast: Frank Zappa, Ruth Underwood, Gail Zappa, Steve Vai, Alice Cooper, Pamela Des Barres, Bunk Gardner, Mike Kenneally and Ray White

Credits: Directed by Alex Winter. A Magnolia release.

Running time: 2:07

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Movie Preview: A killer of killers is loose in Canada — “Contracts”

Lame lame dialogue, underwhelming acting. At least in the trailer.

But the action? This one streams/downloads Nov. 10.

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Movie Review: Deep South teen murders, “The Giant” is busy

“The Giant” is a colossal waste of time, 100 minutes of underlit scenes filled with (mostly) high school characters whispering every single profundity that writer/director David Raboy can think of putting in their mouths in a story that never engages us or even tries to.

It’s a stunningly dull Deep South thriller about kids trying “make one last memory” after another with a serial killer taking out teen girls from the area, one at a time.

Raboy’s script isn’t so much cryptic as obtuse, with the kids whispering on and on, all nostalgic for the lives they just graduated from, heedlessly partying and hitting The Ole Swimmin’ Hole and attributing the deaths to some unseen, unknowable “giant in the woods.”

Heedless youth ignoring the COVID virus analogies might work, but the film was finished before the pandemic.

Aussie Odessa Young of “Assassination Nation,” “A Million Little Pieces” and the upcoming remake of “The Stand” does a fine American accent. But as Charlotte, her whispered vocal fry here, half-remembering the suicide of her mother, dealing with the deflated but menacing boyfriend (Ben Schnetzer) she’s trying to move on from, mumbling off the attempts to explain himself from her police chief father (P.J. Marshall) is sleep-inducing tedium itself.

That boyfriend is a poet in a pick-up truck, I tell you what — “All this sweat, this humidity…when I felt myself melt into you…I just needed to stand in your light again.”

Charlotte tends to bring that out in people, as in her BFF Olivia (Madalyn Cline), who philosophizes that “sometimes, we need people to not listen to us.”

Our heroine is in a muted, slack-jawed shock over what’s going on here and over Monroeville way. She brushes off Joe, keeps clumsy-flirt Will (Jack Kilmer) at arm’s length and tries to get these shallow ditzes to care.

“We saw Daphne on her last night on Earth.”

Her friends are all “It’ll be over before you know it,” in Bud Light denial.

Raboy tells much of the story after dark, and some scenes are so poorly lit that you can’t tell who Charlotte is sitting with in this car or that truck. Extreme closeups keep Young front and center, the only one meriting light in many of those moments.

The odd “Fi, fie, foe fum” thumping footsteps and screams from the forest should ratchet up the suspense, but dangle here like unanswered questions. Is this some psychic reckoning for careless kids, some payback for a perceived wrong, maybe committed by someone they all know?

From the look of things, our writer-director has no more grasp of the answers to the questions he half-asks than the viewer does.

MPA Rating: unrated, murder, teen drinking, smoking, suggestions of sex

Cast: Odessa Young, Ben Schnetzer, Jack Kilmer, Madalyn Cline, P.J. Marshall

Credits: Scripted and directed by David Raboy. A Vertical Entertainment release.

Running time: 1:40

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James Bond’s Walther PPK is up for auction

He was using a Beretta which M took from him and replaced with Ian Fleming’s iconic choice of firearm in “Dr. No.” The Hollywood Reporter typist who wrote this up must have never seen a Bond film, leaving out the “K” in “PPK” twice. Got $250k to bid on it?

https://t.co/RhK5Lt1xCv https://t.co/kZmDY7MU3s https://twitter.com/THR/status/1326102348918304768?s=20

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Movie Review: Bros cling to their toxic bro-hood, on “The Climb” and beyond

From Kyle’s childhood onward, his best friend Mike’s been there for him. Or with him. And here they are, in the Pyrnees, cycling on the day before Kyle’s wedding to his French love, Ava (Judith Godrèche), the groom and his best friend/best man.

It doesn’t matter that Kyle’s out of shape and on a borrowed bike, gasping up each incline. Well, maybe it does. Mike’s got some news.

“Kyle, I slept with Ava.”

“Whu–I’m gonna f—ing KILL you (gasp gasp)!”

“I know. That’s why I waited for the kill.”

Has there even been a more maddeningly-amusing riff on toxic brohood than “The Climb?” Don’t answer that. It’s too early.

You haven’t seen all the relationships Mike (Michael Angelo Covino) jams a monkey wrench into, leaving Kyle (Kyle Marvin) alone and friendless — until somehow, he forgives Kyle and the whole process starts over.

Covino also directed “The Climb,” and he and Marvin co-wrote it, pairing up this guy “everybody loves” with this other guy whom only Kyle loves, the one he pedals inclines with, the one who keeps messing with Kyle’s relationships with women and family, the implication goes, all through life.

Kyle is a nebbish, a bit of a pushover, the sort who “always thinks about other people first,” his mother (Talia Balsam) laments. “People take advantage of that.”

“People” like Mike? Mom doesn’t see things quite that way. That’s why she invited drunken, broken Mike to Kyle’s big family Christmas get together, the one that follows their big Thanksgiving get together.

Maybe Mom has in mind, with Dad (George Wendt) her compliant partner, Marissa (Gayle Rankin, outstanding), Kyle’s college sweetheart, the one he wants to marry some time after the whole Ava thing went South. Maybe that’s why she invited the impulse-control issues Mike to come and do to this coupling what he did to the last one.

Will she and a very drunken Mike get in the way of what Kyle wants, busting up his relationship with a bossy woman who insists Kyle stand up to his overbearing family?

Marvin and Covino break their script up into chapters — “I’m Sorry” and “Let Go” and “Stop It” and so on. This practice has become commonplace, a lazy way for filmmakers to show how they organized their movie on note cards on a bulletin board, a pointless “show your work” Screenwriting 101 crutch.

They added four or five sequences to their short film “The Climb” to turn this into a feature. The chapter headings only underline that process and let us see that the opening scene, the one they turned into a short (and a proof-of-concept plug for the feature) is the strongest.

But all the episodes themselves are invariably funny and revealing. The co-dependency is the organizing theme, but the subtexts include Kyle’s loss of free will (others “know best”) and Mike’s ineptitude — picking a fight with a French driver, picking a fight over a moving truck, disrupting weddings, a funeral and parties with his heart-on-his-sleeve and/or drinks in-his-system clumsiness.

The co-stars/co-writers may have a couple they want us to root for here, in the classic rom-com sense. But there’s wriggle room for us to make our own choice, to fret over the choices Mike denies Kyle the chance to make.

Rankin (of TV’s “GLOW”) is the stand-out performer, although Covino (TV’s “All Wrong”) does well by this lovable lout you kind of love to hate.

Which is why “The Climb” works. Love him or hate him, root for Mike to make Kyle’s life better, or for Kyle to kick him out of it, “The Climb” invites us along for the ride and keeps our interest, whether or not love or bromance, as they say, finds a way.

MPA Rating: R for language, sexual content, some nudity and brief drug use

Cast: Michael Angelo Covino, Kyle Marvin, Gayle Rankin, Judith Godrèche, Talia Balsam and George Wendt.

Credits: Directed by Micahel Angelo Covino, script by Kyle Marvin and Michael Angelo Covino. A Sony Classics release.’

Running time: 1:38

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Movie Review: “They Reach” aims awfully low

The rise of “Stranger Things” and the revival of Stephen King’s “It” inspired “They Reach,” a horror tale/period piece in which kid are under threat, and take responsibility for their own deliverance.

It’s a case study in the difference between smart writing with pathos and wit, and witless imitation, between “barely adequate” child actors and ones with charisma that the camera catches.

A prologue shows us father-son demonic possession researchers stumbling into something awful in 1969. Dad’s copy of the “Sanguinium Demonium” (book) should have protected them. Or his .38 snub nose. But no.

Ten years later, science “nerd” and tinkerer Jessica (Mary Madaline Roe) stumbles across the reel to reel recorder that that earlier team recorded their encounter with. Trying to fix it, she cuts herself. Blood is spilled and…damn — a Demonic Nagra tape recorder!

Whispers start in the house. Everybody starts seeing things.

Luckily Jessica has 13 year-old pals, noble and true — Sam (Morgan Chandler) and Cheddar (Edan Campbell.

Quick, grab your Spider Bikes! “To the library! They have these things called BOOKS.”

Yes, that’s real dialogue from this dawdling, dumb dive into demons — how to get them, how to “send them back” through “the doorway.”

A Couple of passable effects show us that “doorway.” Characters are yanked out of the frame, with gooey fake blood splattered all over everything and everyone left behind in the camera frame.

Period touches include kids singing “I Wanna be Sedated,” and my favorite — a ’70s Dodge Charger smoking when it starts, “dieseling” when they try to shut it off.

Just like new!

There would be no movie without overt “borrowings” from Stephen King. That’s not the worst idea. “No movie,” I mean.

The one interesting character, mistakenly assuming what they’re dealing with is “a werewolf” and thus insistent a “silver bullet” will solve their troubles, has the most telling name.

What is Cheddar, kids? How’s it describe this movie?

MPA Rating: unrated, violent images, profanity, smoking

Cast: Mary Madaline Roe, Morgan Chandler, Edan Campbell, Ash Calder, Elizabeth Rhoades

Credits: Directed by Sylas Dall, script by Sylas Dall and Dry Troyer An Unrock’d release.

Running time: 1:28

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Movie Review: “Chick Fight”

“Commitment” is something you hope to see from actors even in a movie that might not offer the most ambitious roles, cleverest dialogue or most surprising script.

Malin Akerman and Bella Thorne deliver that with every punch, kick, head-butt and one-liner in “Chick Fight,” a movie they co-produced.

It may be a movie that’s literally nothing more than its billing, a “Fight Club” romantic comedy with women, Mean Girls and “mom jean” jokes. It’s sentimental, tries too hard to be coarse and manages no real surprises, start to finish.

But these two, with the help of stunt coordinator Shauna Galligan and her team, flat out bring it. And they make a middling movie pretty damned likable.

I mean, who could hate a picture where the in-the-ring trash talk goes “there?”

“Are you ready to BLEED?”

“Yeah, but not for another MONTH!”

Akerman plays Anne, a lonely, flat-broke cafe owner in that gorgeous, beachfront corner of Puerto Rico that’s way too pretty to pass for Florida. She’s losing her business, her car’s just been repossessed and her Dad (Kevin Nash) just ended his mourning for her late mother (dead nine months) by coming out as gay.

But Anne has that one sassy best friend, Charleen (Dulce’ Sloan, funny), a cop who introduces her to that thing that can change her life, a fight club for women, where Bear (Fortune Feimster) presides.

“OK, let’s get more prepared to RUuuumble!”

It’s a dizzy, if somewhat brutal scene — stunned “first-timers” looking at shirt and wondering “Is that my blood?” “It sure ain’t KETCHUP!,” librarians choking out or knocking out baristas.

Here, you “Fight it out, then hug it out,” even if you get knocked out. At least there’s a cute doctor (Kevin Connolly) on hand if things get out of hand.

“Oh, I’m a TERRIBLE doctor. Ohio State. I was drunk the whole time.”

One word of advice? Avoid “Kung Fu Barbie,” the “ninja cheerleader” Olivia (Thorne). She’s “super baller,” quick to fire off a “mom jeans” put-down lest this fight club become a “support group for basic b-tches.”

If Anna’s going to do this, she needs training. That might come from the guy who trained Sugar Ray, the local tiki bar lush Murphy (Alec Baldwin). He’s so lame he just lip-syncs his karaoke (Make the effort, Baldwin!). He’s so loaded he spends more time falling down than standing up.

“I like you, Heidi!”

“Anna.”

“OK. we’ll go with that.”

And yes, everything that happens after that is as predictable as everything that came before it. One novel touch? Teaching somebody to punch and “look for the weak spot” with a watermelon. Old School boxing trick?

“Nah, I saw it on Youtube.”

The script is thin on one-liners, which forces director Paul Leydon (“Come Back to Me”) to lean HEAVILY on training montages and fight montages. The soundtrack, laced with Final Child, Qveen Herby, Menace Beach and Bones UK, atones for that.

Riding that “fight movie” formula this hard, and giving it a lot of sisterhood sentimentality, means “Chick Fight” was never going to be all that. Saying it “works” is a tad generous, considering how utterly predictable it is.

But for a bad movie, it’s a fun.

MPA Rating: R for language and sexual material throughout, some violence and brief drug use

Cast: Marin Akerman, Bella Thorne, Dulce’ Sloan, Fortune Feimster, Kevin Connolly and Alec Baldwin

Credits: Directed by Paul Leydon, script by Joseph Downey. A Quiver release.

Running time: 1:37

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Movie Review: Been naughty, not nice? Don’t cross Mel Gibson as…”Fatman”

As funny as a mass shooting at the North Pole, and relying on just such a finale to sell it, “Fatman” is one of the epic miscalculations of any cinematic holiday season.

And I say this as somebody who adored “Bad Santa,” who finds Mel Gibson‘s B-movie Purgatory a fascinating turn in his career (gritty, lowdown action pics) and laughs at pretty much anything Walton Goggins says or does.

Throw all that out with “Fatman.” It’s a Gibson shoot-out sh-tshow pitched as a dark comedy. Eighty-two minutes without a single solitary dying-of-loneliness laugh, then the first and only chuckle arrives and the real mayhem begins.

The writer-director siblings of “Small Town Crime” lured Gibson, Goggins and the wonderful Marianne Jean-Baptiste (of “Secrets & Lies” and the most recent “Robocop” reboot) into a movie with little point and even less entertainment value, a lump of coal just in time for the holidays.

In a cynical time not unlike our own, Chris Cringle (Gibson) has “lost my influence.” His small town (North Peak, Alaska) sweatshop of elves isn’t meeting its numbers any more. Because, frankly, we’ve raised a generation of brats.

“This is Christmas, we’re not handing out PARTICIPATION trophies,” he grouses to a dissatisfied client. “All I have is a loathing for a world that’s forgotten,” he whines to his wife (Jean-Baptiste).”

So it’s no wonder that “the whole operation’s goin’ tits up.” It’s no wonder that he’s hitting his local watering hole for his “usual” (“a Johnny Carson,” whisky and Alka-Seltzer, a “Mad Man” favorite).

Working the phones, begging Elon for contracts, doesn’t cover their nut. Maybe the military needs some cheap labor.

But one of those brats has the means of getting even when he doesn’t get what he wants under the tree. Rich Billy (Chance Hurstfield) has “our friend” on retainer, an enforcer-hitman (Goggins) who ensures that the kid wins every science fair, filling the void the child’s always-absent father leaves.

Billy’s cruelty hasn’t gone unnoticed. Because “he sees you when you’re sleeping,” etc. But seriously, a lump of COAL?

“I’d like you to KILL Santa Claus.”

California’s Nelms brothers bring all that they don’t know about dark comedy to Canada for this production, filling the film’s first hour with Santa’s struggle for fulfillment and making payroll and the hitman’s hunt for “Fat Ass,” as he refers to the fellow in the red suit we never see the Fatman wear.

We do see a reindeer. “That’s Donner. Sometimes he gets a mite nippy.” And apparently Santa’s used to getting shot at, and shot — flying low over GunNut Nation and all. Gibson loves self-surgery scenes.

Meanwhile, our hunter is picking his weapons, Schwarzenegger style, and attacking US Postal workers, Louis DeJoy fashion, in his hunt for an address.

Hilarious.

Even though it’s been a while, we know Gibson can do comedy. Even he can’t turn “I’m just a silly fat man in a red suit” funny.

Goggins has even less to work with. Even his way with an F-bomb falls utterly flat here.

Humor is the most subjective entertainment form to review, and the best anybody can manage is to try and approach a movie like “Fatman” on its own terms. I was primed for this to work.

In this case, that doesn’t help. Nothing does.

Cast: Mel Gibson, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Chance Hurstfield and Walton Goggins

Credits: Written and directed by Ian Nelms, Eshom Nelms. A Saban Films release.

Running time: 1:40

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BOX OFFICE: “Let Him Go” wins weekend with a $4 million opening

Considering that its target audience is older and thus “at risk” in terms of the exploding pandemic, this $4.1 million seems like a pretty robust showing.

I could see a far far from certain Oscar nomination coming out of this one, even if this feels like the year Netflix will own the Academy Awards.

“Come Play,” also from Focus Features, earned another $1.7 million in its second week.

Maybe next year at this time these tiny turnouts of people wearing masks will be fading into memory.

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Movie Preview: Jolie, Oyelowo, Caine and Chancellor star in “Come Away”

That sparkling cast adorns a sort of It fantasy, a story that explains Alice and her Wonderland and Peter Pan and his Lost Boys.

Inclusive casting should help, the effects twinkle and the story seems very…mashup messy.

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