Netflixable? Megan Fox, robotic in her “Subservience”

Saying Megan Fox is well cast as a robotic household “helper” in “Subservience” seems kind of mean. And one really should avoid using the phrase “human sex doll” in describing her role here, or her screen career in general.

“Subservience” is another attempt at a cringey, cautionary and harrowing account of the Future that Awaits Us, if we let AI run our lives.

The trouble with a century of such films, from “Metropolis” to the endless “Terminator” franchise to “Her” to “M3GAN,” is that we never listen. The AI singularity is upon us and we keep acting as if we’ve never “seen this movie before.”

Michael Morrone of the even cringier “365 Days” stars in “Subservience,” portraying a Colorado contractor facing mass robotic replacement of his high-rise building workforce, but who really needs help around the house and two kids after his wife (Madeline Zima) has a heart attack.

A “SIM” might be just the ticket.

Fox plays the short-skirted, fake-skin bombshell SIM who wins the job when she tracks down and cares for Nick’s wandering daughter (Matilda Firth) when she gets lost at the SIM shopping fare they visit to check out their replace-mommy-for-a-while options.

“Daddy, can we GET her? Pleeeeaaase!”

“Alice” they name their SIM, after “Alice in Wonderland.”

She is “strong, obedient, and I have no desires outside of fulfilling yours.”

Is she still talking about “cooking, cleaning and childcare,” though?

As wife Maggie awaits a heart transplant, Alice with the simulated heartbeat finds way to “look after” Nick, every day and in every way, in case “the worst happens,” something Maggie foolishly tasks her with doing. Looking like Megan Fox and as programmed to be as compliant as a sex worker, we know where that’s going.

The Will Honley/April Maguire script does zero intellectual heavy lifting as it touches on common fears of machine “replacement” of wait staff and other blue collar workers, and of caregivers and homemakers.

I’d no sooner muttered “Why are their AI in-home housekeeping robots but none in construction, etc.?” when that coming transformation hits Nick’s worksite. The “world building” here isn’t complete enough to recognize there’d be no need to make these welding, wiring, pipe-fitting, concrete-pouring and I-beam bolting machines look like humans, or give wy you’d give such machines nights off.

That’s for the series spun out of this, I guess.

SIM bartenders, nurse’s assistants and the like need the deluxe human covering “package,” sure. But who would dare make a home-use robot line that looks like Megan Fox, “anatomically correct,” and given to wearing lingerie — functional or otherwise?

Fox is OK as the lead and the villain, and we forget that she’s rarely worse than “adequate.” But the movie isn’t all that.

The latter acts of “Subservience” play out like assorted “Terminators” and “M3GAN,” as if there’s only one way to end a cautionary thriller like this. There’s nothing witty about the dialogue, and the plot is just as perfunctory, functional and here’s that word again, and it’s not a compliment — “robotic.”

Rating: R, violence, sex, nudity, profanity

Cast: Megan Fox, Michele Morrone, Madeline Zima and Andrew Whipp.

Credits: Directed by S. K. Dale, scripted by Will Honley and April Maguire. An XYZ/Millennium release on Netflix.

Running time: 1:45

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Documentary Preview: Phil Collins, a pop star in winter, “Drummer First”

OK, not your normal platform — Drumeo, a drum-centric site selling lessons, etc. is offering this. Not sure why that is (probably not a feature length doc).

But in the ’80s and ’90s, Collins was as omnipresent as any balding Brit pop star has ever been. At his peak, he was doing music videos, cranking out hits and even doing movie songs and film scores.

His first one for Disney was the animated picture “Brother Bear,” which brought him to Orlando where I interviewed him. He joked about how “Even I got sick of me” being all over the radio, and how Sting and Disney didn’t get along when The Police singer/songwriter was commissioned to do the tunes to a Disney animated film.

Great that Phil’s still around, kind of hard to see him infirm like this.

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Documentary Preview: You remember Led Zeppelin, but “Dread Zeppelin: A Song of Hope?”

Tortelvis leading a reggae Led Zep “cover band.” Good musicians. Good comedians.

You hear’em, you can’t UNhear their way with a classic rock tune. You see’em, you never forget’em. I interviewed Tortelvis once upon a time.

If Led Zepellin has a “Becoming Led Zepellin” doc coming out, you had to know short Tortelvis and the gang would be soon follow.

Funny band. Hope this doc does this shtick justice.

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Movie Review: A Spanish feminist fights sexism and fascism — “The Red Virgin (La virgen roja)”

Groomed for greatness, a writing, philosophizing prodigy by her teens and a young woman nearly 100 years ahead of her time, Hildegart Rodríguez Carballeira was long a forgotten heroine of the Spanish Civil War.

That’s how “history” is erased by the reactionary and the fascist, and their unholy accomplices.

But this revolutionary teen comes back to life in “The Red Virgin,” an ambitious Spanish Civil War era biopic from director Paula Ortiz (“Teresa” was hers).

The film details how Hildegart’s dogmatic, domineering mother Aurora (Najwa Nimri of “Money Heist”) plotted and planned her own immaculate conception, a baby who would be “all mine,” with no father ever entering the picture. Aurora got pregnant by a hand-picked priest, because she knew he would never go public with his paternity.

Aurora voice-over narrates (in Spanish or dubbed into English) the story’s long prologue, how she would create “the woman of the future.” A true believer in eugenics, she “selected” her baby daddy based on intelligence. She would groom a child to become a feminist icon and bring Spain out of the Dark Ages its mostly illiterate female population had been sentenced to.

A woman of means, Aurora tutored young Hildegart personally so that she was speaking by eight months, reading by two and a “certified typist” by four.

The child was in college years early and a lawyer by 17. That’s when Hildegart — played by Alba Planas — set out to make her mark in essays, many of them book-length, about women’s plight, women’s role in society and the traditions, laws and Catholic practices of Spain and elsewhere that enslaved them.

Hildegart arrived as a published author, by coincidence, at the very moment Spain threw off the shackles of its creaky monarchy and the church that ruled through it.

“Spain is not Catholic any more!” read the placards in the streets as Hildegart and her mother make their way through the mobs to and from a publisher (Pepe Viyuela) who has to be browbeaten into accepting that Hildegart writes and thinks for herself.

But is Spain ready for “The Sexual Problem, as Explained by a Spanish Woman?”

Hildegart has been kept from the clutches of boys and men, and Mom’s gynecological lectures insist that they don’t “need” men.” But Hildegart’s publications gain her instant notoriety. “Bruja” (witch) is painted on the walls of their house, along with threats about what Spain has done to witches in the past.

Britain’s famous pioneering sexologist, Havelock Ellis, wants to meet her, as does sci-fi writer, “free love” advocate and proto-feminist H.G. Wells.

A young Spanish socialist (Patrick Criado) is inspired by her writing and begs her to speak at a party gathering. The film’s best scene has young Hildegart lecturing the all-male political party on its role in the continued repression of half the country’s population.

Her all-controlling mother only reluctantly relented to this, as she sees Hildegart as “a scholar, not a politician. We are above provocation.” But Hildegart uses her platform to plead for womens’ suffrage, legal abortion and equal financial rights. Her publisher can’t even write a check for her royalties to her mother because “no bank would cash” a check for a woman.

All of this is little-known history, and Ortiz, working from a script by Eduard Sola and Clara Roquet, does a good job of suggesting the heady days between the Spanish abdication and the Civil War, which began with fascists backed by an embattled, entrenched and reactionary Catholic Church attacking a Republic hastily remaking society and attacking the church as the biggest part of the problem.

Hildegart’s timing seems perfect. You’re remaking your whole society, why not have a neglected half of it represented in the new Spain?

Planas lets us see both manipulated attitudes and the intelligence and spine to state her own mind as Hildegart, a woman who stood up to men before she could stand up to her overbearing mother.

Nimri, a screen veteran whose Spanish cinema credits go back to “Sex and Lucia” and the global hit, “Open Your Eyes (Abre los ojos),” is fearsomely callous as mother Aurora, unapologetic in matters of dogma and ruthless in the ways she directs her daughter’s opinions, career and life.

“The Red Virgin” is a smart and timely tragedy, coming out as cultures around the world are either embracing equality or trying to roll back the clock on women’s rights.

Hildegart — her Wikipedia bio is here, but do yourself a favor and don’t read it until you’ve seen the film — makes a fascinating icon-you-never-knew to learn about and a blunt reminder of how long the inevitable march of progress can be delayed by sitting out the fight, or letting your mother decide whether or not you get to join the battle.

Rating: R, violence, sexual situations and discussion

Cast: Najwa Nimri, Alba Planas, Patrick Criado, Pepe Viyuela and
Aixa Villagrán

Credits: Directed by Paula Ortiz, scripted by Eduard Sola and Clara Roquet. An MGM release on Amazon Prime.

Running time: 1:55

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Classic Film Review: Reckless Pilot Peck makes a WWII Trek across “The Purple Plain” (1954)

By the time he made “The Purple Plain,” Gregory Peck had already made a film that touched on the fear and emotional toll of air combat in World War II — 1949’s “Twelve O’Clock High.” But the text of that Henry King classic buried subtexts like those under patriotism, mission and “morale.”

“The Purple Plain,” coming out five years later and featuring the star of Hitchcock’s Freudian “Spellbound,” is a little more psychologically “evolved. The mental cost of combat wasn’t a subject the movies easily embraced, but by the ’60s, when Steve McQueen starred in “The War Lover” and “Lawrence of Arabia” swept the Oscars. Filmmakers and viewers had enough distance from the WWII to consider wrestle with more sophisticated dramas than the avalanche of action films set in combat zones.

Child actor turned Oscar-winning-editor (“Body and Soul”) turned-journeyman director Robert Parrish took cast and crew to Ceylon (Sri Lanka) for one of his best films, a study in post traumatic stress and an old fashioned “behind enemy lines” survival trek through Burma.

Peck stars as Bill Forrester, a Canadian-born Battle of Britain veteran now flying a Mosquito fighter-bomber heedless of the extra risks he’s taking. When we meet him, he gets his navigator wounded by recklessly breaking formation to strafe and pound Japanese anti-aircraft batteries.

It’s 1945, and while the slow slog through Burma might not give those doing the fighting this sense, much of the world could see World War II was nearly over. Forrester doesn’t care. He’s driven to fly by day, given to night terrors, awakening to imaginary air raids when he sleeps.

“Gone round the bend,” the Brits around him say. A flashback tells us he never got over losing his wife in a London air raid during The Blitz.

“I didn’t want to go on living. You’d think that would be easy enough in war but it didn’t work. I wanted to die but I got medals instead.”

Future James Bond boss Bernard Lee plays the unit doctor charged with doing a “medical evaluation” that doesn’t look like one. His non-flying tent-mate (Maurice Denham) thinks the lack of something or someone to look forward to is driving Forrester’s behavior. The doc figures dragging Forrester to the Christian mission for Burmese refugees will teach him a thing or two.

Victims of the war, uprooted by the Japanese, the natives are resilient. They have trauma, too, as evidenced by their panic that an air raid means the Japanese are advancing back over this reconquered ground. But a pretty young woman (Win Min Than) simplifies the human need to persevere after tragedy for Forrester.

“Here we bury the dead in the earth not in our hearts.” 

Forrester allows himself to feel something, even if he can’t shake the bullying cynicism that has him lashing out at subordinates who get to “ship out” when he’s manic to keep taking deadly risks, flying and fighting.

It’s a “milk run” mission, flying to break-in his new navigator (Lyndon Brook) while delivering tentmate Blore to a new assignment that leads to a crash and their fight to survive in an arid corner of the country, far from water, food and friendly forces.

Forrester keeps making impulsive command decisions about two of the survivors dragging their wounded comrade for days and days to safety. Their quest will give him cause to reflect on that decision, what motivates him now, and whether or not he’s made the sane, rational, survivable choice.

Peck’s performances often have a stoic reserve to them that was not to every taste. But he rarely played “dumb” for a reason. We see wheels turning in most every performance, even when he’s playing characters out of their depth or outside of his persona’s comfort zone.

He’s giving us a lower-rank variation of the same testy bomber group leader he played in “Twelve O’Clock High,” a character of vulnerabilities and easy-to-read psychosis.

Peck made this movie to dodge U.S. taxes. But his vulnerably heroic turn here is empathetic and layered, making it worthwhile as he plunged into his peak decade a screen star.

There’s a hint of the patronizing side of racism in the “Onward Christian Soldiers” singing refugees mission director (Brenda de Banzie), tempered by Scottish good intentions and charity. The enemy here is unseen, and Forrester’s “courtship” of a native woman is understated to an almost timidly genteel degree.

Parrish’s direction is spare and unfussy, making the most of the exotic location and the combat setting (real Mosquitoes do most of the flying). Geoffrey Unsworth’s cinematography is pretty enough, but only giving the barest hint of the Oscar-winning giant of his field he would be become. “Becket” to “2001” to “Cabaret” to “Superman” to a final Oscar for Polanski’s lavish ’81 period piece “Tess,” he was one of the best ever.

“The Purple Plain” was a decent hit in the U.K., and somewhat forgotten stateside. But producer J. Arthur Rank went to school on this Ceylonese shoot. He was encouraged enough by the striking location and Ceylon’s film-friendliness that he’d send David Lean there to film a WWII masterpiece, “The Bridge on the River Kwai.”

As with his ambitious all-star Caribbean drama, “Fire Down Below,” Parrish found himself filming a test run in a challenging place for a producer (James Bond-backer “Cubby” Broccoli on “Fire”) who would make his real mark with better pictures in that same now-proven location in the future.

At least “The Purple Plain” holds up well, a solid genre picture with a more enlightened take on the cost of combat for those who fought it than most WWII films could manage back then.

Rating: approved, TV-PG, combat violence

Cast: Gregory Peck, Win Min Than, Brenda de Banzie, Maurice Denham, Lyndon Brook and Bernard Lee.

Credits: Directed by Robert Parrish, scripted by Eric Ambler, based on an H.E. Bates novel. A J. Arthur Rank Org. release on Tubi, other streamers

Running time: 1:40

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Movie Review: Once more to Middle Earth, before “The Lord of the Rings,” “The War of the Rohirrim”

“The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim” is a dull placeholder pic rolled out by Warner Animation to keep the company’s intellectual property rights to J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle Earth current in the public’s mind.

Streaming series aside, it’s been years since Peter Jackson turned over his entire career to Gollum, Gandalf, Galadriel and the gang. So why not a fresh animated addition to the canon, a prequel to the books and films built out of asides, references and footnotes from Tolkien’s fertile efforts to flesh out this simulated ancient history of an ever-so-English fantasy?

Kenji Kamiyama, a veteran of Japanimation — Japanese animated TV series such as “Ghost in the Shell,” “Ultraman” and “Blade Runner: Black Lotus” — was commissioned to turn in a modest-budgeted ($30 million?), colorful and striking but somewhat under-animated visit to this universe.

The ancient lands of Gondor and Rohan have long struggled to get along, and to force themselves to come to each other’s aid in crisis. The alliance has been tested since even more ancient times, Tolkien wrote. Here’s an earlier clash.

A few familiar voices from the Jackson films — Miranda Otto, the late Christopher Lee (wizards really are immortal), Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan — turn up, sometimes as the long-lived characters they played in the many “Rings” and “Hobbit” films.

The action starts out brisk.

But I have to say, the sizzle has gone out of this series of projects. As someone who used to drive cross-country listening to CDs of BBC/NPR series based on Tolkien, who recorded for broadcast a friend’s symphonic poem based on “The Silmarillion” and who is old enough to have seen the beautiful but abortive Ralph Bakshi attempt to animate “The Lord of the Rings” for the big screen, most of what’s come along of late has left me cold.

And a deritive, character-cluttered (in the Old Testament Tolkien style), exposition-heavy and voice-over narrated to death anime (ish) treatment of events ever-so-similar to all that transpired in “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy seems more cynical than inspired, more exhausted than fresh.

A couple of hundred years before a hobbit came upon “the one ring,” King Helm (Brian Cox) of the Rohirrim finds himself pressured to marry his princess daughter Hera (Gaia Wise) off to a prince of Gondor to ensure the security of his realm (Rohan).

But an opportunist at court, Lord Freca (Shaun Dooley) of the West Marches wants his lad Wulf (Luca Pasqualino) considered as a suitor, angling the family’s way to the throne. Princess Hera and Wulf used to play together as children. Maybe even “play house.”

That disagreement leads to a trial by combat that is the film’s first monumental let down. One combatant kills the other with a single punch.

Alliances crumble, schemes erupt and Rohan — its wooden palisaded strongholds and ancient stone fortresses — is threatened. The headstrong king won’t listen to nephews who beg him to “light the beacons, call for aid from Gondor.” And disasters strike.

There are kidnappings and cavalry charges, betrayals and battles, and giant sentient eagles, giant four-tusked war elephants and an even larger tentacled swamp monster figure in the proceedings.

None of it moved me, or moved the needle.

Once you get used to the anime style and color palette, beautifully rendering the ruins of ancient Gondor’s Isengard, scaling the icy peaks of winter in Middle Earth and the like, there’s little to grab hold of and embrace as visually “new” or “expanding the canon” or for that matter moving or entertaining. Comic relief characters aren’t funny, potential romances aren’t romantic and the action beats are jumpy and jerkily animated and not immersive at all.

“The Lord of the Rings” is classic fantasy literature, and there’s a richness to the detail and emotional connection with the characters that leaps from the page to whatever other medium this saga moves to.

But “The War of the Rohirrim” is narrated to death because it has to be, otherwise it would be impossible to follow. And it’s dull and simplistic as narrative, more of a “comic book” take on Tolkien than an actual adaptation of anything Tolkien would have allowed to be published.

Rating: PG-13, violence

Cast: The voices of Brian Cox, Gaia Wise, Lorraine Ashbourne, Benjamin Wainright, Bilal Hasna, Miranda Otto many others

Credits: Directed by Kenji Kamiyama, scripted by Jeffrey Addiss, Will Matthews, Phoebe Gittins and Arty Papageorgiou, based on the writings of J.R.R. Tolkien. A New Line/Warner Bros. release.

Running time: 2:14

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Movie Review: Krap on a kracker? “Kraven the Hunter”

Aaron Taylor-Johnson gets gym-jacked one more time, Russell Crowe auditions for a future Ernest Hemingway at his burliest bio-pic and Alessadro Nivolla trots out the silliest supervillain voice since John Malkovich in “Rounders” for “Kraven the Hunter,” a misguided mess of a comic book adaptation.

As long as “Jonah Hex” is streaming somewhere, the phrase “Worst comic book movie ever” is retired. But this lifeless, perfunctory piffle, with some admittedly grand stuntwork and a whole lot of digital characters and critters, earns a piece of that label.

Worst. Origin story. Ever.

It’s about how an American-educated teen (Levi Miller), son of a shady, predatory Russian oligarch (Crowe, slingink a Stolichnaya vodka-ad accent, comrades) pays the price for daddy’s big game hunting obsession and ethos.

“Man ees ze only animal who should be dreaded!”

Learning “the joys of stalking” with the old man as they hunt a man-killing lion in Ghana, young Sergei is chewed up, and how, by the lion as he tries to protect his weak and meek brother Dmitri (Billy Barratt).

A tourist teen named Calypso (Diaana Babnicova) visiting her Ghanese conjure-woman relative intervenes with a Tarot (ish) card and a little magic potion to save the lad.

Sergei lives, and as he grows up to be a killer of killers, and poachers, he will be Kraven and Calypso will be a London lawyer fighting evil-doers through the courts and Dimi (Fred Hechinger) will be the same sniveling baby brother he always was, because he stayed behind with their cruel dad while Sergei Kravinoff went off the grid on family lands in Siberia, traveling hither and yon to foil foul play in progress.

We don’t see this “travel,” just a momentary hint of it. It’s one of the ways this J.C. Chandor (“All is Lost,” “Triple Frontier”) film seems downright half-assed. We don’t see anybody go from Turkey to Iceland to Wales or wherever else they filmed this. This makes the picture feel static.

Yes, once Johnson shows up the stunts turn spectacular and digitally-assisted as he heedlessly leaps, plunges and thrashes his way in a fresh effort to rescue his now-kidnapped brother. But the kid’s always been “good” at mocking Dad’s menacing voice. How do they manage that? They just dub Crowe’s growl into Hechinger’s mouth.

DeBose is not quite a bystander to the “plot,” such as it is, which involves a spurned partnership suitor (Nivola) who turns into an arch enemy and surgically-chemically enhanced monster, “Rhino” whose minions must be foiled and whose infallibility must be matched against the seemingly-indestructable Kraven.

Kraven tracks his quarry down. We don’t see this. We just hear variations of this exchange.

“How’d you find me?”

“I’m a hunter.

As if that’s enough. Well, he sniffs occasionally. Great nose for…perfume.

There’s little in the way of humor, although threatening Kraven with a taser is lame enough to be insulting.

“Not enough volts!

But the sniggering shades-of-Malkovich-in-“Rounders”voice veteran character player Nivola comes up with has to be my favorite light touch.

None of the above adds up to anything like a satisfying night out at the movies, with the “story” kind of jumping along between sequences that don’t really connect and the violence going so far as to have Kraven yank out a guy’s heart to throw and knock another bad guy down with.

“Kraven the Hunter’s” the empty hole where a real movie’s beating heart should have been.

Rating: R, bloody violence, profanity

Cast: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ariana DeBose, Fred Hechinger, Alessandro Nivola, Christopher Abbott and Russell Crowe

Credits: Directed by J.C. Chandor, scripted by Richard Wenk, Art Marcum and Matt Holloway, based on the Marvel comics. A Columbia Pictures release, in association with Marvel Entertainment.

Running time: 2:07

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Netflixable? A TSA agent is blackmailed into letting somebody’s “Carry-On” slide by

The “talking villain” is played by Jason Bateman. So as you might guess, he damned near talks us all to death.

The scenario is within the realm of possibilities, but juiced and dragged-out with so many eye-rolling “Hollywood” twists that it abandons that realm for “Oh come ON” laughs.

The hero, played by Taron Egerton, sprints through the bowels of LAX as if his life and the life of Ms. Out-of-his-league (Sofia Carson) depends on it. But we see “outs” that he might take, counter-measures he could end this whole unfolding disaster with, even in a state of panic.

The jovial, welcoming nature of TSA agents on a holiday weekend at one of America’s busiest airports is pure fantasy, even if the abusive travelers are on-the-nose accurate.

But at least the luggage inspection/x-ray line thriller “Carry-On” carries you along. It plays. Director Jaume Collet-Serra reminds us he handled the suspense of “The Commuter” and “Run All Night” well even as he never quite makes us forget the insufferable excess of “Jungle Cruise” and “Black Adam.”

“Rocket Man” Egerton is Ethan, a bored, clock-watching TSA agent who picks today of all days to try and please his airline operations wife (Carson) by stepping up and asking for more authority from his boss (Dean Norris).

But since it’s Christmas Eve, the “busiest travel day of the year,” that boss will let the never-makes-an-effort lump swap spots with a pal (Sinqua Walls) and “run the line,” monitoring the X-ray screen as passengers let him see through their luggage on their way in.

That would have to be the day when a mysterious blackmailer leaves an ear bud for Ethan, texts him to “put it in” and starts giving orders and making direct, pointed threats to Ethan and Nora if the TSA gatekeeper doesn’t do as he’s told.

“There’s people in control, and people who listen,” our venomous villain says. Ethan is the latter, and if he listens, Nora won’t die, he himself probably won’t die and something and someone that shouldn’t be on that particular plane will get through.

Our anonymous talker, working with the “Watcher” (Theo Rossi), has tapped into the airport’s security cams and into Ethan’s life and is manipulating his every move. He “reads” the 30 year-old, tossing in insulting asides about “your generation” while he’s at it. He’s constantly reminding the kid who failed his one shot at the police academy of his shortcomings, his laziness and his dilemma.

And then Ethan figures out who this all-knowing, every-angle-played villain is, a “traveler” in generic dark clothes and black baseball cap. His many efforts to slip a phone or smart watch text by this guy (Bateman) might have failed. But now, at least, Ethan knows who he is dealing with and the “reading” isn’t a one-way street.

Collet-Serra, working from a somewhat generic, credulity-straining T.J. Fixman script, shoots and cuts Ethan and the viewer into this fix, and then leads us through a few harrowing worst-choice dilemmas and even laughable “escapes” as “You TSA guys are a joke” scrambles to save his partner, his skin and maybe a jetliner full of passengers from the fate this conspiracy has cooked up for them.

Danielle Deadwyler ably plays a cop working her way from an underworld murder at a Christmas tree selling greenhouse towards LAX.

There’s always one co-worker in movies like this who announces to the hero that he’s “up to something” and that they’re “going to find out what.

And the reason the phrase “movies like this” suits is that we’ve seen versions of this very sort of “blackmailed into doing something awful” thriller before. Even a couple directed by Jaume Collet-Serra. Both of them (“The Commuter,” “Non-Stop”) starred Liam Neeson.

“Carry-On” is on a par with those films, no better and not much worse, just a new variation on a theme. The “work the problem” puzzle-solving is a little lazier, more far-fetched in the latter acts. But the impact is the same.

This thriller begins at a crawl and finishes with a sprint. The foreshadowing is obvious even if the next twist rarely is. The early bargaining, “All you have to do is do nothing,” is more sinister than the sometimes satisfying mayhem to come.

And Bateman’s cool-headed, calculating creep just keeps talking and insulting, an “OK, boomer” Gen Xer asking for comeuppance from Gen Z. But as tough-talking Bateman is no Neeson when it comes to “getting physical” over 50, we shouldn’t get our hopes up that Mr. Snide Insults can back up all that talk when it’s go time.

Rating: PG-13, violence, profanity

Cast: Taron Egerton, Jason Bateman, Sofia Carson, Danielle Deadwyler, Sinqua Walls, Theo Rossi and Dean Norris

Credits: Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, scripted by T.J Fixman. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:59

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Netflixable? Jolie as Callas, “Maria,” a Diva at Death’s Door

“Maria” is an operatic bio-pic in every sense of the word. In director Pablo Larraín’s vision of “La Callas,” the diva’s diva Maria Callas, there is tragedy off-stage but serenity in the spotlight, an artist wholly prepared and fully immersed in performing her aria. Anjelina Jolie is magnetic and mesmerizing in the title role, as one would expect.

But “operatic” is limiting as well. This is very much a surface gloss of a biography, a melodrama without big emotions, one that leaves much of the “life” and the background that explained that life out.

One can see names in the credits for the IMDb listing of the film for characters and players/periods in her life that didn’t make the final cut of Larrain’s latest look — he directed “Jackie” and “Spencer” — at a famous, iconc, tragic and troubled twentieth century beauty.

But what one is left with is a gorgeous, quiet and tragic appreciation of Callas. It’s a fan’s film that plays as a somber deconstruction of her last week on Earth, with flashbacks to Onassis and the Kennedys, hallucinated interviews for a documentary “biography” and a doctor and household staff pleading with her to ease off on the prescription drugs that render her Jolie-“thin” and unable or unwilling to eat.

Callas didn’t go out to “eat,” late in life.

“Book me a table at a cafe where the waiters know who I am,” she tells her butler Ferruccio (Pierfrancesco Favino). “I’m in the mood for adulation.

Years after her “retirement,” in her fifties and alone, the “adulation” is still there. Along with the occasional rude fan (an American) or callously invasive journalist.

Callas wants to “find out if” she still has “a voice.” So naturally, a pianist/rehearsal coach (Stephen Ashfield) and a Paris Opera House are at her beck and call. She can tackle arias that made her bel canto the most famous in the world.

But her great love, the Greco-Argentine oligarch Aristotle Onassis, has died. Her fragile performing state — “ill” and missing shows — has turned into retirement. A world which had been her oyster was closing in around her, shrinking.

Her butler, housekeeper (Alba Rohrwacher) and physician (Vincent Macaigne) fret over her weight, her health and her drug intake. Maria is visited by the bullying womanizer Onassis in her dreams. And she’s meeting with a film crew, she says, and a young interviewer (Kodi Smit-McPhee).

But the fellow’s name, “Mandrax,” lets us know this is all in her head. She’s talking to an empty seat, answering for her choices and her life to herself while strolling around Place de la Concorde. The drugs give her an alternate life, one she prefers to reality.

“I am happy with the theater behind my eyes.

Jolie is regal in the title role, coifed, made-up and dressed to the nines, the very vision of the American born Greek soprano. This Callas has aged out of the volatile side of “temperamental,” at peace with her mental and physical state and the end game she is playing out.

There’s little contrast with the younger Callas that we see — married and pursued by the “short and ugly” and filthy-rich Onassis, boorishly flirted-with by an over-confident JFK (Caspar Phillipson). She’s reached the state of using her sister (Valeria Galino) to get the drugs her doctor won’t provide.

There was probably more about her background, the formative elements in Maria’s makeup, temperment and talent in scenes that did not make it onto the screen.

But in all honesty, “Maria” suffices in many of the ways that matter. We’re treated to a spot-on impersonation, sans accent, with that once-in-a-century voice digitally replacing Jolie’s first-ever singing role. We glimpse her world at her peak as we’re immersed in her world at the end.

We see a great artist, too exacting, demanding and easily bored to be “resting” on her laurels and fading into the shadows.

Greta Garbo’s “closing the door” on celebrity isn’t for everyone. Hemingway to Phyllis Hyman, Jean Seberg to Chris Cornell, emotionally fragile artists who see it all slipping away have often chosen a more abrupt exit.

But that “exit” points to the one serious flaw in Larraín’s film, based on a Steven Knight (“Dirty, Pretty Things” and TV’s “Peaky Blinders”) screenplay. We don’t weep at the tragedy of this life and its end. And the only ones who do on the screen are Maria’s poodles.

Rating: profanity, suggestions of substance abuse

Cast: Angelina Jolie, Pierfrancesco Favino, Alba Rohrwacher, Haluk Bilginer, Kodi Smit-McPhee and Valeria Golino

Credits: Directed by  Pablo Larraín, scripted by Steven Knight. A Netflix Release.

Running time: 2:03

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Classic Film Review: An anti-war parable that became a landmark of Japanese cinema — “Ugetsu” (1953)

“The value of people and objects truly depends on their setting,” the potter Genjurô tells a noblewoman and patron at one point in the classic film “Ugetsu,” a Medieval fantasy based on the “Rain-Moon Tales” of 18th century writer Ueda Akinari.

That applies to some films, as well. “Ugetsu,” Kenji Mizoguchi’s cinematic black and white woodblock print of Japan’s feudal past, has been acknowledged as a classic pretty much since it made its way from Japan to the wider world in 1953-54.

Viewed today, it can be appreciated for the artistry of the images, with most exterior scenes shot near sunset, first scene to last, by “Rashomon” and “Yojimbo” cinematographer Kazuo Miyagawa. But as much we grasp the simple anti-war fable inherent in its narrative, taken from two stories by Akinari, we can only imagine the impact it had at the time of its release.

However it was received in Japan, viewed abroad this was a message the world wanted to hear from Japan. Viewed in close proximity to Kurosawa’s “Rashomon” and the early works by meditative master Yasujirô Ozu (“Tokyo Story”), it’s easy to see why Japanese films took the international cinematic cognosenti by storm in the early ’50s.

These were painterly parables that introduced the world to a culture recovering from ruin, and often used symbolism and evocative tales from the past to make socio-historical commentaries on Japanese society to make their “statements.”

“Ugetsu” is a 16th century period piece set during a feudal society’s firearms-and-swords civil wars, a film highlighting the allure of war to opportunists and dead-enders looking for a quick path to riches, and its horrible cost to women, children and the society they live in.

Two brothers-in-law set their minds to change their impoverished, tiny village fates as war breaks out.

Masayuki Mori of “Rashomon” is the accomplished potter Genjurô, who cannot wait to hustle his latest batches of prized pots, vases and plates to the market in the city nearby. He’s cashing in as people spend in anticipation of the hard times to come, frantically keeping his kiln lit, even as marauding, looting, enslaving and raping soldiers come storming in.

He will leave wife Miyagi (Kinuyo Tanaka) and their little boy behind for that one last score before the fighting overruns them.

His sister Ohama’s (Mitsuko Mito) husband Tôbei (Eitarô Ozawa) is a failing farmer who’d rather try his luck at becoming a samurai. Being poor and ignobly born, there’s fat chance of that. But if he can round up some armor and a sword, maybe he’ll get his foot in the door as a foot soldier for the local lord’s corps.

Both men are warned about illusion in the short-term gains they seek by their elders, and about leaving their wives by those wives and by those same elders.

“Don’t let them get your women!”

The brothers-in-law are heedless — one driven by silver, the other by combat glory and the promise of profit from that.

They learn terrible lessons as Genjurô falls under the spell of a flattering noblewoman (Machiko Kyô) and Tôbei steals and stumbles his way to status in the military. But their left-behind wives are the ones to pay the highest price.

Arresting images abound, such as the boat passage across a foggy lake, their last symbolic and literal “warning” of the path they’re taking. Some scenes take on a fairytale quality, summoning up memories of Jean Cocteau’s glorious 1946 “Beauty and the Beast.”

But the earliest post-war Japanese films to make it to the rest of the wider world were, to a one, distinctly Japanese, faintly familiar in their universal themes, yet alien to Western cultures. As our main impressions of Japan were dominated by cut-rate export goods, the often-barbaric militarism of the “empire” just vanquished, and a quaint, somewhat racist Gilbert & Sullivan operetta, one can only imagine the culture shock of it all.

“Quaint” comes to mind watching the recently restored “Ugetsu” today, a film that stands apart from its Hollywood and European contemporaries, but doesn’t dazzle as much as perhaps it once did. “Rashomon” looks and feels more “timeless,” while the messaging from this “message movie” seems more watered-down over time.

That said, it’s still a lovely artifact, a striking morality tale best appreciated for its role in making Japanese cinema “mainstream” on the international stage, and firing the imaginations of generations of filmmakers to follow them at home.

Rating: unrated, violence, sexual assault

Cast: Masayuki Mori, Kinuyo Tanaka, Eitarô Ozawa, Mitsuko Mito and Machiko Kyô

Credits: Directed by Kenji Mizoguchi, scripted by Matsutarô Kawaguchi and Yoshikata Yoda, based on the stories of Akinari Ueda. A Daiei Studios release on Tubi, other streamers.

Running time: 1:36

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