Classic Film Review: Serious and Seldom Seen Sellers — “The Blockhouse” (1973)

Filmed on the whim of a liquor empire heir, a “true story” whose German Army WWII victims were changed to French and citizens of other occupied countries, “The Blockhouse” is one of the strangest titles in the later, quixotic career of British funnyman Peter Sellers.

The legendary French singer and actor Charles Aznavour was also in the cast, along with a selection of top drawer character actors of the ’60s and ’70s. The British TV director behind the camera would only make one other feature film, the not-quite-as-obscure “When the Whales Came.”

This minimalist, existential melodrama, set in the dark, silent bowels of a sealed coastal military fortification on D-Day, had a delayed release that made not even a ripple at the box office.

Unheralded video releases notwithstanding, “The Blockhouse” was fated to be forgotten, barely mentioned even in the most thorough Sellers biography, a curiousity from the last years of his career, but something of a table setter for “Being There,” the picture which should have brought him an Oscar.

Sellers’ somber and serious turn in “The Blockhouse” is one of the few things to recommend this too-dark, too-myopic, too-superficial plumbing of the psyche under stress. But while Seagram heir, one-time MCA/Universal mogul and current Time-Warner Music CEO Edgar Bronfman Jr. may have been the very picture of the rich dilettante when he undertook this production, casting Sellers and Aznavour in this modest-budgeted WWII tale wasn’t the craziest gamble.

Director Clive Rees gives us a splash of pre-“Saving Private Ryan” chaos and combat realism in the film’s opening scene.

Slave labor from all over Europe has been working on Hitler’s Atlantic Wall defenses against the Allied invasion sure to come. The French “section leader” Aufret (Peter Vaughan of “Straw Dogs,” and later “Brazil” and “Time Bandits”) takes his status and work seriously, waking his fellow inmates and half-leading them as they flee the naval and aeriel bombardment.

Seven men make frantically make their way into the concrete-encased structure they’ve been building. And when the shelling intensifies, they tumble down a steep “escape shaft” to escape what, as far as they know, is just a more-intense-than-usual air-raid and naval shelling on this day in early June, 1944.

Jeremy Kemp, as believable as a German WWI fight pilot in “The Blue Max” as he was as Jean-Luc Picard’s father on “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” is the Eastern European Grabinski, the one guy in this crew who knows the structure they’re hiding in, inside and out.

Lund, whom we gather is from Norway, is played Per Oscarsson (later of “The Girl Who Played with Fire”). Nicholas Jones, most recently seen on TV’s “House of the Dragon”) is Kramer,
Leon Lissek is Knozek, Aznavour is the Italian Visconti and Sellers the French school teacher Roquet.

Fumbling around by matchlight gets them deep enough into the blockhouse to be safe. They stumble over storage rooms filled with wine, cheeses, sausages and candles.

“This is the best time we’ve had since the war started!”

But the starving slaves have barely gorged themselves when Grabinski gives them the bad news. Their various means of exit have been bombed shut. There is no way to dig themselves out.

The “collaborator” Aufret insists “the Germans will rescue us,” and attempts to reassert his “authority” as he does. Nobody’s buying it.

The “gimp” Visconti drinks and bickers his way into full rebellion. The teacher Roquet works out a means of guessing how much time has passed. That is useful, for a moment or two.

But as the futility of their situation, their resignation mixed with half-hearted efforts to try and get out and the limited-light gloom of it all settle in, “The Blockhouse” stiffens into a cinematic corpse.

Sellers, Aznavour, Kemp and the others have moments that might have animated this narrative and piqued interest. But those moments are fleeting as the film settles down into a sort of Pirandello (“Six Characters in Search of an Author”) absurdist play.

It’s all talk and the talk isn’t that interesting. Eating, drinking, playing chess, feuding and fighting, it’s all blandly predictable and kind of aimless without the drive of “goals” — to work the problem and find a way to dig or get the attention of those on the surface — to keep the narrative moving.

The Guernsey (in the Channel Islands) setting is striking and colorful players were cast and give us hints of the movie this might have been, even with them playing war movie “types.” But this fictionalized account of a tale of survival and death is too brooding, theatrical and limited in scope and aims to pay off.

They thought they were making an art film, which is the way Sellers talked it up (briefly) at the time. But the John Gould/Clive Rees script broods and mutters and staggers and bores, like a play that needed another month of tinkering during out-of-town tryouts before opening night.

Bronfman would produce only one other film before using his family fortune to buy into the top tier of entertainment. “The Border,” with Jack Nicholson, is a far better movie, but also a box office bust. Bronfman, who dabbled in song-writing in the days when all oligarchs really wanted was to make it in show biz, has fared better as a production company executive.

Aznavour made movies right up to his death in 2018, and his romantic crooning — performed in a dazzling range of languages — turns up on film soundtracks to this very day.

Sellers’ “experimental” (“The Magic Christian”) and indulgent years would wind up with “The Optimists,” his next film. He’d get back to multi-role straight comedies (“Undercovers Hero”) and his most popular character, Inspector Clouseau, before nursing “Being There” to the screen, only to die shortly after losing his last shot at an Oscar in 1980.

“The Blockbuster” showcased him as a true ensemble player, serious without a hint of even sinister or devilish wit (“Dr. Strangelove,” “Lolita”), that rare moment when the funniest actor of his generation took a role where he couldn’t find a laugh, even if he’d wanted to.

Rating: R, violence

Cast: Peter Sellers, Charles Aznavour, Jeremy Kemp, Per Oscarsson, Leon Lissek, Nicholas Jones and Peer Vaughan.

Credits: Directed by Clive Rees, scripted by John Gould and Clive Rees, based on a book by Jean-Paul Clébert. A Hemdale/Cannon Films release on Tubi.

Running time: 1:33

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Movie Review: All Cuisine’d up, “Waiting for Dalí “

The quality of twee is often strained, the Bard wryly noted.

A tragedy, a comedy or even a romantic comedy is within the reach of some writers and screenwriters. But hitting that feather-weight sweet spot between droll and cute is a rare talent, making “twee” comedies the cinema’s unicorns.

“Waiting for Dalí” circles all around twee and never quite hits the bullseye.

It’s is a period piece romance built on the “Big Night” formula, tested and re-proven over the years since that 1996 film’s release. “Big Night,” set in the ’50s, blended comic obsession with fine Italian cuisine with frustrated ambitions, romantic and otherwise, and helped launch the “foodie” crazy and made creator and co-star Stanley Tucci a famous actor and even more famous culinary expert and wine enthusiast.

The twee hook to that picture was the belief that a restaurant owned and run by two brothers could be rescued by the simple appearance of the famous singer and band leader Louis Prima. One “Big Night,” pulling out all the culinary stops, and they’d be set.

David Pujol’s “Waiting for Dalí” is about a restaurant in 1974 Spain. It’s the end of the represssive Franco era, and young people’s protests have crossed borders and rattled the by-then-wheezing regime.

Alberto (Pol López) has gotten himself mixed up in street marches, which sometimes turn into vandalism and riots. He’s wanted by the corrupt and hidebound Guardia Civil, the Spanish police hellbent on maintaining order until the elderly fascist dictator dies, and beyond.

This attention derails brother Fernando’s (Ivan Massagué of “Pan’s Labyrinth”) plans of becoming head chef at the posh Barcelona fine dining eatery where he works. With the aid of the the culinarily-connected revolutionary pal François (Nicolas Cazalé), they escape to the country, to the coastal Catalan village of Cadaqués.

That’s where the brothers will meet and work for the eccentric, obsessive Jules (José Garcia of “The Take,” a hoot). He’s built and runs a restaurant dedicated to honoring and serving the town’s most famous resident. He’s even named his establishment El Surreal and decorated it with Dalíesque melting clocks, eggs and nude manikins seated at tables or the bar. The place specializes in French cuisine, Dalí’s favorite, with a snobby French chef to ensure the finest quality dishes.

The only problem? The mercurial epicurean Salvador Dalí won’t come. Jules can beg the Catalan chauffeur of the great artist’s Cadillac Sedan DeVille, Arturo (José Ángel Egido) all he wants. But he’ll never get past the true gatekeeper, Dalí’s imperious, insufferably snobbish Russian wife and “protector” Gala (Vicky Peña), doing her best “Soup Nazi”).

Every pleading encounter with her ends with a demand of “10,000 dollars” or “$15,000” for them to dine in El Surreal, and suggestions that Jules become a “fishmerman” (in Spanish and in French, with subtitles) instead.

When Fernando is forced to take over the kitchen of this impossibly impractical restaurant, his experiemental Catalan/French cuisine just might be surreal enough to change Gala’s mind and Jules’ fortunes.

Pujol, who did documentaries on Spanish cuisine and Dalí himself before making this his feature film writing and directing debut, immerses himself in the setting and sets up colorful peripheral characters to provide a possible love interest — Clara Ponsot plays Jules’ pragmatic and earthy daughter Lola, a local diver — and town “character.” Francesc Ferrer plays Tonet, a beloved local art vandal who insists on painting everything blue, even the house and/or works of the eccentric genius Dalí’. The Guardia Civil is always chasing him.

Every little bit helps and every colorful touch is needed because “Waiting for Dalí'” is basically the somewhat insubstantial sum of all these flourishes.

We meet cute characters, but little is done with them. Interior lives and backstories are disregarded. Romance, when it arises, feels abrupt and tacked-on. We revel in extravagant, anachronistically modern cuisine (“foams” and the like). Catalonia was one of the birthplaces of molecular gastronomy, but that didn’t happen under Franco.

But every so often, Jules and his charges hurl themselves into and at Dalí’ — styling their facial hair into elaborate curls, pursuing him and knocking on his door — or standing in his defense, a “surrealist” “sell-out” who shallowly praised Franco’s fascist regime as he flittered to and fro, coasting on artwork that peaked and passed that peak thirty years before.

Some of what’s tossed in the air here pays off, but the whole never quite comes off. I’ll go to any museum, any “Dalí’ and Disney” exhibit, and review any movie about the only surrealist most of us remember. “Waiting for Dalí'” gets by on charm, settings and set-ups. It’s a pity more of those set-ups don’t deliver the “twee” the picture promises.

Rating: 16+, smoking, sexual situations, profanity

Cast: José Garcia, Ivan Massagué, Clara Ponsot,
Nicolas Cazalé, Pol López, Varvara Borodina, Alberto Lozano, Francesc Ferrer and Paco Tous.

Credits: Scripted and directed by David Pujol. A Music Box release on Amazon Prime.

Running time: 1:54

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Netflixable? Crime and Christian Supernaturalism collide in Korea — “Revelations”

“Revelations,” the new thriller from the director of “Train to Busan” and “Peninsula,” has no zombies. But this collision of crime and punishment, Christianity and psychology is as suspenseful and satisfying as any thriller to come our way this year.

Writer-director Yeon Sang-ho — the AI thriller “Jung_E” was also his — immerses us in a single crime, perhaps committed by a notorious ex-con, in the psychology of trauma and the psychosis of people who believe they’re seeing “signs” that tell them what “God wants me to do.”

Tf we learn nothing else from this slow-moving, big twists ticking clock tale, it’ll be the psychological definitions of Apophenia and Pareidolia and how they apply to the connection between madness and “belief.”

A young girl is missing, and we’ve seen her possible abductor stalk her to her church on a rainy day. That’s how Pastor Min Chan (Ryu Jun-yeol) catches the creepy, haunted gaze of Kwon Yang-rae (Shin Min-jae). Let’s sign him up to our tiny start-up congregation!

But the stalker is also being stalked. Violent Crimes Unit Det. Yeon-hee (Shin Hyeon-bin) seems just as haunted, and not just by Kwon. She pops pills to deal with her anxieties. It takes a while for us to notice there’s another young woman just over her shoulder, just behind this door or in the next bathroom stall. That’s her sister. That’s why she’s taking those pills. Her death is what haunts the detective and her ongoing obsession with Kwon Yang-rae.

The distracted but devout pastor has a lot on his mind. There’s a new mega church being built in this underserved corner of the city. It’s being constructed by his mentor/pastor, and Min-chan knows this corner of Christianity is quite “corporate.” He might be up for a promotion, or Pastor Jung could simply assign the new facility to his son.

It’s not exactly the best time to hear from that private eye Min-chan hired to follow his wife that there’s conclusive proof that she (Moon Joo-yeon) is cheating.

Our pastor looks for “signs” of “what God wants” because “God’s will must be done.”

Flashbacks showing Yeon-hee at Kwon Yang-rae’s earlier trial reveal that the convicted rapist/kidnapper/”monster” was tormented by supernatural quasi-Christian visions (his mother was fanatically-religious) that directed him, visions created by childhood trauma.

Our detective is also seeking “revelations,” clues about what’s to come, where the missing girl is, what her quarry might have had to do with it and what her dead sister wants her to do about that.

Yeon Sang-ho and Choi Kyu-seok’s script takes us down the rabbit hole of interconnected lives and extreme responses that spin out of when those lives collide. All will be tested and all will snap, to some degree.

But will anybody pull it together in time to save the missing girl?

Ryu (“A Taxi Driver”) has the most bizarre character arc to play, a man whose faith is tested from all sides who stumbles and falls as he faces those tests, growing more fanatical as he does.

Shin Hyeon-bin must show us a cop observant and canny enough to earn her new promotion, but a daughter whose father worries about her because of the weepy guilt she carries over a dead sibling.

Shin Min-jae gives some interesting shades to the guy set up to look like a killer — scars, dead-eyed stares, the works.

And Kim Do-yung brings a conflicted gravitas to his characeter, a psychologist who tried to understand our traumatized criminal when he was on trial and weathers sincere, strident “This is all YOUR fault” accusations because he has a role to play in this fresh case as he defines (for the viewer, mostly) what everybody involved seems to be suffering from.

Yeon immerses us in this world and this case with all its psychological and supernatural subtexts. Crucifixes are everywhere — neon ones in or on churches, heavenly visions of crosses or Jesus in the day or night sky. That ghostly sister shadows our pill-popping cop and our suspect acts more and more suspicious.

It may be obvious at times and far-fetched at others. But these “Revelations” played for me, and drew me in. Yeon Sang-ho has conjured up a tale whose twists trip us up often enough to make its fraught payoff satisfying.

Rating: TV-MA, violence

Cast: Ryu Jun-yeol, Shin Hyeon-bin,
Moon Joo-yeon, Kim Do-yung and Shin Min-jae

Credits: Directed by Yeon Sang-ho, scripted by Choi Kyu-seok. A Netflix release.

Running time: 2:03

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Movie Review: “Ed Kemper: The True Story of an American Psycho”

“Ed Kemper” is a serial killer portrait that’s as pitiless as it is artless.

This feature film, no doubt inspired by Netflix’s “Mindhunter” series bringing attention to the “other” notorious mass murderer named “Ed” (“The Butcher of Plainfield” Ed Gein inspired “Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” etc.), it’s a simple “How he went about it” account of Edmund Kemper’s crimes attached to simplistic “Mommy made him do it” psychology.

There’s no suspense. We don’t see the California police missing early ’70s clues or closing in on their quarry, because they didn’t.

The plainly fortyish Brandon Kirk is meant to play the hulking Kemper — he’s six foot 9 and still in prison — who was 24-25 when killed female hitchhikers around Santa Cruz in the early ’70s. Kirk is joined by the worst John Wayne impersonator you ever saw (for delusional manhood lectures) and a teenage girl (McKenna Ferry) cast to play “Eddie” as an unbalanced child locked in the basement with Satan (in his nightmares) during the kid’s cat-torturing childhood.

If you mutter “WTF” at that last stunt, you’re not being gender phobic. There’s absolutely no resemblence between her, teen Kemper (Benjamin Philip) or adult Kemper.

Susan Priver plays Clarnell, the hippy-hating failed actress harridan who raised Kemper, a three-times-married hard-drinker and generally twisted sister who is presented as the “cause” with 10 dead victims as the”effect” in the film’s telling.

“Hey, Mom,” teenaged Edmund says when he calls her after shooting and stabbing his paternal grandparents. “I hope you’re happy now.”

The “monster” was hospitalized for killing his grandparents as a teen, and was released by an out-of-its-depth prison mental health establishment only to slaughter others as an adult. That makes mental health workers sort of secondary villains, here.

Ed is lectured by the “You’re going to be fine, just fine” shrink leading him out of Atascadero State Hospital as he’s released five years later to “stay away from your mother.” Naturally, he moves in with her because he has nowhere else to go.

A job as construction crew flagman for the state highway department supports him, and his mother’s insults and jabs drive him as he takes note of hitchhikers and plots what he’d like to do to them.

As his name rings a bell with a workmate, Ed admits that he’s the same guy who killed those two people up in North Folk a few years back.

“I just wanted to see what it felt like to kill grandma!”

Director and co-writer Chad Perrin is mainly interested in the MO of the heartless murders, and in the perversion that Kemper inflicted on the corpses.

Whatever lip service Kemper pays to his lack of remorse and those he “hurt” — who don’t include the people he admits he “slaughtered — doesn’t lend insight to his broken thinking or ways we might recognize his “type” in others.

Tip to parents, far and wide. If they abuse animals, they’re going to hurt people. And that’s not exactly a secret.

As this isn’t a fictional horror film, where violence is but a challenge, and often a jokey “creative outlet” for genre filmmakers, I found “Ed Kemper” grim going, and nothing more. Insights into a sick psycho’s psychology? Not really. Entertainment value? Nope. None at all.

Rating: unrated, graphic violence, sexual content, profanity

Cast: Brandon Kirk, Susan Priver, Benjamin Philip, McKenna Ferry and Brinke Stevens.

Credits: Directed by Chad Ferrin, scripted by Chad Ferrin and Stephen Johnston. An Epic/Dread release.

Running time: 1:31

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Classic Film Review: Kingsley, Mirren and Dance scheme their way across “Pascali’s Island” (1988)

The decade after Ben Kingsley won the Oscar for his performance in the title role “Gandhi” was one of the most interesting of his storied, four-Oscar nomination career.

He’d been a respected but mostly unknown player on Brit TV for years when his life and career arc changed with that one epic role. But the movies were not his oyster, necessarily, immediately after that. So he set about building a career off that blockbuster by taking on a string of mostly smaller but prestigious productions that afforded an exotic looking actor who might have been typecast in “ethnic” roles a way out of that trap.

“Turtle Diary” was an understated English romance (Glenda Jackson co-starred) borne from rescuing captive turtles from a British zoo. “Maurice” was a literary period piece gay romance remembered mostly for introducing Hugh Grant to the world. “Testimony” had Kingsley starring as the Soviet era composer Dmitri Shostakovich, creating great art despite the cruel whims of Stalin and the dictators who followed.

And “Pascali’s Island” was an intimate, bejeweled period piece that parked the future Sir Ben in a love triangle cast opposite Helen Mirren and Charles Dance, trapped in the Game of Nations in the comatose years before WWI finally killed off the long-dying Ottoman Empire.

Kingsley has the title role, a little man under the illusion that he’s a big player on this small, Turkish-occupied Greek island. It’s 1908, and the dapper Pascali makes his living “translating” and “teaching” on the tiny island. But that’s just his cover. He watches all the comings and goings here asks questions and takes notes.

And this “secret observer” reports back to his boss in Constantinople, Abdul Hamid II, the sultan of the empire, “emperor father, lord of the world” in long, increasingly despairing letters that he figures no one has read in 20 years.

As he meets, befriends and becomes increasingly suspicious of an English “archeologist” (Dance) who visits the island and starts poking around, his formally informal letters lose some of their decorum.

“Lord of the World, why have you abandoned me?”

Dance’s Anthony Bowles is curious about a particular corner of the island, which he’d like a lease to explore. And he is plainly charmed when Pascali — who has offered his services as a guide, interpreter (and fixer) — introduces him to the exotic Viennese expat artist, Lydia Neuman (Mirren at her most beguiling).

As Pascali is asked to stick his neck out in translating negotiations for that lease with the local pasha (Nadim Sawalha) and his mistrustful aide (Stefan Gryff), as he faces warnings and bribes from a German (George Murcell) with “interests” on the island and the ear of the pasha, the ever-cautious, delusionally influential — “Everyone here knows me!”– Pascali starts to fear he’s being tricked and set-up to take a fall for whatever the Englishman is up to.

It’s bad enough that a rich American is anchored in the bay, supposedly arming Greek rebels there for a revolt.

If heads roll, will Pascali’s be one of them?

Writer-director Basil Dearden — he scripted “Fatal Attraction” — takes his time setting up the world of Barry Unsworth’s novel. He introduces us to Pascali’s routine, and lets him over-share in every introduction — son of a Maltese father he never knew, a half-French mother who got around. We see him questioning a dismissive desk clerk and sneaking off to search Bowles’ room even as he’s sharing ouzo with him and Lydia, whom he’s just introduced.

Many of his exchanges, in Turkish, with the pasha and others, are left untranslated. Kingsley lets us see the direction such negotiations, with hints of contemptuous disregard for him and outright threasts, are going, just with the barely-concealed panic in Pascali’s eyes.

A syp too-long-undercover, Pascali is lonely for friendship and “relationships” of any sort. But as Pascali spies on his “friend” Bowles, catches him skinny-dipping with the free-spirited Lydia, whom Pascali adores, and makes arrangements for the man’s archeological investigation, he warns him.

“The pasha is not a man to be crossed.”

Dance reveals Bowles’ English arrogance not just in his patented hauteur, but in the way he upends a pleasant series of arrangements with the pasha, and with the odd remark about Turks in need of being “taught a lesson.”

Pascali’s place in this power dynamic has him indiscreetly protesting his frustrating connections with Constantinople, as if seeking Bowles’ pity as the situation turns more complicated and more fraught.

His “world” is ending, the “empire” that’s employs him is dying. And the Anglo-German intrigues are beyond his control, hinting at the horrible conflagration to come.

And through it all, Kinglsey puts on a master class in acting understatement. The coiled fury of “Sexy Beast” and sublimated rage of “House of Sand and Fog,” high water marks in the glorious third act of his career, were to come. And hints of this subtler turn would echo in under-appreciated later-career films such as “The Spider’s Web.”

Honestly, I’ll watch the man in anything as Kingsley classes up quasi-epics such as “The Physician” and delights in his rare comedies — “Learning to Drive” and “Daliland” among them.

It is “Pascali’s Island” that I always go back to as a yardstick. Kinglsey made better films, but the understatement and solitude of this role makes this film my favorite.

The intrigues are reasonably well-handled. The finale is grimly anti-climactic. But the performances are to be relished the way the actors, no doubt, relished their working vacation on the Greek islands of Symi and Rhodes all those years ago.

Rating: PG-13, violence, nudity

Cast: Ben Kingsley, Helen Mirren, Charles Dance, Nadim Sawalha and Kevork Malikyan.

Credits: Scripted and directed by James Dearden, based on a novel by Barry Unsowrth. An Avenue/Lionsgate release on Tubi, other streamers

Running time:

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Movie Review: “2 Lives in Pittsburgh,” a tale of “coming out”

Earnest and well-intentioned, Brian Silverman‘s “2 Lives in Pittsburgh” begins with confusion that turns towards compassion before drifting into cloying and finishing up with a hearty “Oh COME on.”

Writer, director and co-star Silverman stuffs wrinkles, revelations and pointless complications into what might have been a tidy, intimate tale of a working class Joe who realizes his kid’s not into baseball and hockey for a reason.

Yes, that’s simplistic and old fashioned, but that’s kind of where this picture is parked. The little boy — played by Emma Basques — goes on strike rather than play one more game of catch with the old man. Fifth grader Matty sees herself as “Maddie,” and the dressing up in private can only become something more overt if that most important adult in Maddie’s life is made aware and talked into accepting it.

Silverman’s Bernie is a professional handyman whose biggest client is the assisted living facility where his crusty, oxygen-bottle-towing smoker/drinker Mom (Annie O’Donnell) lives and where his favorite nurse (Delissa Reynolds) is head caregiver.

Maddie starts with discussions about her name. By the time Bernie is summoned to meet with the fifth grade teacher (Mark McLain Wilson) it’s obvious he has suspected something is up, despite his protests to the contrary.

“He’s TEN. How’s he SUPPOSED to ‘see himself?'”

The fact that he used to bully that teacher back in high school is the first of many above-and-beyond complications Silverman starts sprinkling over this sweet story — sugary bits that make it take a turn towards diabetic coma by the third act.

Bernie’s working class pals — with whom he shares a LOT — tell him “Toughen’em up. Put’em in hockey.” Throwing away the kid’s stuffed animal collection is a start.

And hey, he’s 10. Why’s he still need help taking a bath?

“2 Lives in Pittsburgh” has a message and a theme, a text and some subtext. What it lacks is a realistic depiction of parenting and working class relationships. Sure, mothers might chat about intimate things their kids are going through. A bunch of beer swilling Steelers fanboys? Only in sitcoms.

We learn more about Bernie and we start to get the kid’s connection with Bernie’s mom as Silverman continues to workshop this script while shooting it, figuring out what the “real” status of the various relationships is, as if hiding this or blurring that will add something to the story.

Touching on bigotry of various types and slinging a few slurs may give the narrative the veneer of a “realistic” edge. But the buy-in is too tough, with Silverman getting the superficials right about his character, but never quite connecting as a “parent.”

Matty/Maddie’s bullying and response to it is mostly off camera, but Basques still makes a convincing boy who is growing more certain that gender is wrong.

The grandma stuff, the guys-being-guys bonding, all of that just plays as cute. And by the time the misguided decision is made for others to play dress-up, the picture lapses into some sort of idealized, cloying wish-fulfillment fantasy.

Because if there’s anything more obvious about American life right now, it’s that a lot of the country and a solid majority of this class has a much tougher journey to take to achieve tolerance.

Rating: 18+, sexuality, smoking, profanity and slurs

Cast: Brian Silverman, Emma Basques, Mark McLain Wilson, Delissa Reynolds and Annie O’Donnell.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Brian Silverman. An Amazon Prime Video release.

Running time: 1:31

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Netflixable? Fatal Finnish Funny Business comes to “Little Siberia”

A village pastor finds himself guarding a possibly valuable meteorite, fighting off those who covet it and questioning his faith and his wife — who is pregnant with a baby he’s sure isn’t his — in the dark and daft action comedy “Little Siberia.”

It’s built on a simple but twisty story that makes it dawdle at times. The pacing problems, lapses in continuity or logic and an anticlimactic finale strip it of some of the edge it needs to properly pay off. But it’s fun, with visceral and comically coincidental violence of a “nick of time” nature (like every episode of Apple TV’s “Dope Thief”).

This Around the World with Netflix film is from Finland, where the winters are long, alcohol is the historic coping mechanism and Russians are the same bad guys they’ve always been.

The remote village of Hurmevaara in the region they call Little Siberia may be about to have a change in its luck. A meteorite has crashed there, and it’s to be taken to London for testing, with theories flying around about it being worth €1,000,000. So even though it’s on display at the village (WWII-centric) museum, somebody needs to keep watch over it.

Let’s add that to the list of duties for the local pastor, Joel (Eero Ritala). He preaches sermons, runs support groups and counsels locals like the doom-and-gloomy Matias (Martti Suosalo) on almost daily visits. But as he’s an army veteran with peacekeeping service in his background, they add night watchman to his burdens.

A local entrepreneur, Rolle (Janne Hyytiäinen) envisions “tourists” visiting because of this event. But others may covet something that valuable. Some of them will be outsiders with Russian accents.

And then there’s the guy who “found” the rock. Or rather, it found him. Drunken, grieving ex-rally racing driver Tarvainen (Tommi Korpela) was in the middle of drifting his Mitsubishi Evo into a bigger rock in a suicide attempt when the meteorite crashed into the co-pilot’s seat. Taravainen figures that’s a “sign” from his dead co-pilot, and that the rock is his.

Pastor Joel has bigger concerns. His dance-teacher wife, Krista (Malla Malmivaara) is the village hottie who at long last is pregnant. But she doesn’t know her husband is sterile from a war wound and can’t father a child without a “miracle.”

So the millions of coincidences that shattered wherever that rock came from in space and sent it to Hurmevaara — whose name ironically translates as “charming” — might be interpreted as something divine “sent” to one or many of the residents there.

It’s just that the people who want to steal it are possibly armed and certainly ruthless. And accident prone. Pastor Joel finds himself threatened, bribed, kidnapped and injured, time and again, even as he’s distracted by what he is certain is a much bigger problem — an unfaithful wife.

The fun here is in the mayhem our not-wholly-hapless preacher finds himself caught up in — a robbery attempt and chase that ends with an explosion, a kidnapping that spills lots of blood and bodies that appear to disappear.

The preacher does a lot for this village, and gets little respect for it. Locals ridicule him to his face.

“So, your friend Jesus,” (in Finnish with subtitles, or dubbed), “did he walk on water?”

“Well, I wasn’t there for it.”

The presence of the reliably hulking Norwegian heavy Rune Temte (seen in “Captain Marvel,” and TV’s The Last Kingdom, “Time Bandits”) sets the tone for the sorts of comical villains our “tested” preacher confronts.

Ritala makes our hero credible as a man enduring the trials of Job, had “God’s Favorite” been beaten, stabbed, shot, etc. by people — some more colorful than others — who want a space rock.

Some elements and threads of director and co-writer Dome Karukoski’s caper comedy aren’t tidied up enough to follow, much less appreciate in their final resolution. But the summary parts are plenty enteraining, even if the whole doesn’t add up to all it might have.

Rating: TV-MA, bloody violence, profanity

Cast: Eero Ritala, Malla Malmivaara, Martti Suosalo, Jenni Banerjee, Tommi Korpela and Rune Temte.

Credits: Directed by Dome Karukoski, scripted by Dome Karukoski and Minna Panjanen, based on a novel by Antti Tuomainen. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:45

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Classic Film Review: Michael Mann invents ’80s Cinema — “Thief” (1981)

It’s only in retrospect that we recognize the watershed films, the ones that signaled the end of one era and the beginning of another.

Michael Mann’s feature film debut “Thief” earned decent enough reviews when it was released in March of 1981. The New York Times and Washington Post didn’t “get” it. Chicago homers Siskel and Ebert praised the Chicago-shot thriller to the heavens, which is what they did for most movies made in Chicago. And the film sold just enough tickets to cover its budget.

But seeing it now, it’s easy to appreciate the shimmer Mann brought in to replace ’70s grit — wet, lurid, neon-washed streets, shiny semiautomatic pistols, good haircuts, pricey cars and sleek fashions.

There’s a lot here — style over “details, Mann’s “MTV Cops” pitch that became “Miami Vice,” Chicago cop Dennis Farina, who’d go greyer, get a haircut and move to 1960s Vegas for “Crime Story,” the hardened, bullying criminal/star who’d put a premium on professionalism (“Heat,” “Collateral”).

“Thief” is a James Caan star vehicle, one of his very best. Unleashing the trim and muscular Caan as an unlikeable, bullying lead, pairing him with Tuesday Weld, making the very young Chicagoan Jim Belushi a sidekick and Willie Nelson a convict/mentor, giving Robert Prosky his best pre-“Hill Street Blues” boost, so many elements of this striking and lean classic seem obvious that one forgets how inspired those casting, plot and design touches turned out to be.

Mann loosely adapted a cat burglar’s memoir into a “one last score” genre thriller of an ex-con who owns a used car dealership by day, cracks safes by night. Frank is all business while on the job, and when something goes wrong with “my cut.”

But he’d like “the life” — a wife, kids, suburban comfort. So this hostess (Weld) at a diner where he makes his “stones” transactions (selling stolen diamonds to middle men) is who he asks “We goin’ out tonight?” He’s very late showing up, but he bullies her and anybody in the blues club where they meet into going through the with evening.

“I have run out of time. I have lost it all. So I can’t work fast enough to catch up. I can’t run fast enough to catch up. And the only thing that catches me up is doing my magic act.”

She doesn’t blanch when he flashes his pistol at a bystander, which tells us something. Maybe she’ll go along with what amounts to a brusque and blunt proposal over coffee as Frank “cards on the tables” her like a man who knows a woman who’d “get” him in an instant.

“What the hell do you think I do?…I wear $150 slacks, I wear silk shirts, I wear $800 suits, I wear a gold watch, I wear a perfect, D-flawless three carat ring. I change cars like other guys change their f—–g shoes. I’m a thief. I’ve been in prison, all right?

Frank has a lot, but he needs more. He promises to get his cellmate/mentor (Nelson) out of prison. Jessie (Weld) blurts out she can’t have kids, and ex-cons can’t adopt. Not easily, anyway.

He needs that big score to set him up. And there’s this grandfatherly old hoodlum (Prosky) he meets when somebody tries to steal some of his stolen loot who assures him he can solve his all of his problems, “like family.”

There’s just this one impossible job old Leo would like Frank to do…

“Thief” is as tight and streamlined as two hour and nine minute movies get. Every scene feels compact, driven by the wound-up watchspring that is Caan at his most engaged.

The courtship scene and the confrontations are punched through, the nuts and bolts of breaking and entering, cracking a safe, leaning on a blue collar metalurgy ex-con expert to figure out how to cut through “Swedish rolled steel” leave little out and contain no extraneous information.

The math of Frank’s Joliet prison years and the fact that he’s got a Caddy/Buick/used Yank tank dealership after being out only four years is a mystery. And how does one learn 1980s safe-cracking from a 1950s vintage old-timer in prison?

Momentum is what matters — a look, a feel, a stylish underworld-guy-in-a-hurry vibe. Cinematographer Donald Thorin would go on to film “Tango & Cash,” the ’80s at their slickest and most vapid. Production designer Mel Bourne would help romanticize “The Natural.”

Whatever other work “Thief” inspired in style, script and design, the movie that kept coming to my mind repeatedly throughout it is “Straight Time,” Dustin Hoffman’s lean, downbeat and gritty ex-con thriller from 1978. The films are similarly set, equally violent and equally involving and yet whole eras apart, despite being separated by just three years.

“Straight Time” is a fin de siecle ’70s crime thriller, the logical conclusion to the era “The French Connection,” “The Getaway” and “The Taking of Pelham 123” kicked off.

“Thief” was something new, shedding some of the grit to get in more visual sizzle.

Luc Besson and generations of thriller filmmakers who followed took their cue from Michael Mann’s debut — park tough but always “professional” criminals in an underworld that’s more sexy than seedy. Dress them up a bit. And let it be and damp only after dark. Because that’s when the gunshots flash and when the blurred neon in the rain puddles is most striking.

Rating: R, violence, profanity

Cast: James Caan, Tuesday Weld, Jim Belushi, Willie Nelson, Tom Signorelli, Dennis Farina and Robert Prosky.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Michael Mann, based on the memoir of Frank Hohimer, “The Home Invaders: Confessions of a Cat Burglar.”

Running time: 2:09

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Movie Review: Body Builder is on the Spectrum, Steroided Up and Dangerously Obsessed with his “Magazine Dreams”

Labeling Jonathan Majors‘s turn in “Magazine Dreams” “deeply disturbing” is the epitome of understatement.

He plays a body builder whose on-the-spectrum awkwardness and his obsession with building his body and competing with it, an obsession augmented with mood-altering steroids, puts the viewer on edge from start to finish.

We know this guy’s a ticking time bomb, and the movie has the explosions to prove it.

Taking into account Majors’s recent past, violence against a woman proven in court, we can’t help but feel we’re watching a wound-too-tight artist flirting with the most dangerous corners of his personality as he descends deep into The Method.

Now this 2023 Sundance sensation is finally in theaters, a movie that could play a part in launching a Majors comeback. Based on the work, that could certainly happen. But who knows how the public and Hollywood will take to him leaning into a darkness that might not have been his healthiest role choice ever?

Killian Maddux is a bulked-up Angelino whose back story is barely sketched-in. He lives with his infirm Vietnam vet grandpa (Harrison Page), consumes 6000 calories a day, works out in a local gym and practices his poses in his garage gym/rehearsal space.

Killian is a body builder, “the most demanding sport,” when it comes to constant muscle development and body sculpting, and yet very much a beauty pageant — highly-strung narcissists on parade.

An introvert like Killian, who can’t smile naturally, has an even greater mountain to climb.

Killian has a plan — “place” in a regional competition, get his “professional” card to compete for big money and “get on magazine” covers.

“This is the most important thing I will ever do,” he insists to himself. He’s always looking up “How to make people remember” him, because he hasn’t achieved his “magazine” dream. He’s nobody. He’s not famous. Yet.

The question writer-director Elijah Bynum (“Hot Summer Nights”) asks in “Magazine Dreams” is “How far will Killian go” to achieve that dream?

As we see him sit in sessions with a court-ordered therapist (Harriet Sansom Harris from “Frasier”), as we hear Killian recite a mantra as he tries to control his temper when confronted — “I control my emotions. My emotions don’t control me.” — as we watch his clumsy-to-the-point-of-pathetic attempts to video his “Fundamentals of Body Building” lecture for Youtube, and sit on the edge of our seat watching the most uncomfortable first date ever (with Haley Bennett), we wonder.

When we hear him read his increasingly desperate, unanswered fan letters to his body building idol (played by Michael O’Hearn) we wonder some more.

Those comments on his posted video aren’t that far from the truth — “incel vibe,” and “Why hasn’t he killed himself yet?” As Killian lashes out against rude, cheating house painters and others, we wonder if it’s “himself” we have to worry about him killing.

Majors is a coiled knot of muscle and barely-contained fury in this performance, playing up the twitchy awkwardness, immersed in the mania of a single-minded pursuit, able to play “calm” to the therapist but not really fooling her, us or himself.

It’s a brilliant turn and worth all the “Oscar contender” hype that was attached to this film when Searchlight had it, preparing to campaign it in 2023 when Majors’s temper and legal problems overwhelmed it.

That gives the film is curious, prurient appeal that won’t make it a hit and probably won’t officially relaunch Yale School of Drama alum Majors’s career. But it’s fascinating to watch an onscreen “Nightcrawler” sort of unraveling like this, even if we wonder how much was “Method,” how much was steroids (Did he? To get “into” the part and the body it required?) and where the real Jonathan Majors ends and the “acting” begins.

Rating: R, graphic violence, drug abuse, nudity, sexual situations, profanity

Cast: Jonathan Majors, Haley Bennett, Taylour Paige, Harriet Sansom Harris and Michael O’Hearn.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Elijah Bynum. A Briarcliffe release.

Running time: 2:04

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Movie Review: “Snow White” and her Singing CGI Pals Don’t Get the Job Done

There’s nothing inherently wrong with Disney’s recent practice of remaking its animated musical classics as live action films. Reviving a timeless story for a new generation and getting more value out of a long-treasured piece of intellectual property is to be expected, and good business practice.

And Walt Disney’s hand-drawn breakthrough animated hit of 1937 “Snow White” is probably the stodgiest and most old-fashioned of the master’s masterworks.

But the new “Snow White” dishonors the original film by being such a half-hearted cash grab as to call attention to its utterly mediocre script, generally colorless cast and stale, soundstagey look.

Like the recent animated “Moana” sequel and the “Mufasa” “Lion King” prequel, there’s a corporate joylessness that weighs on most every scene.

Updating “Heigh Ho” and “Whistle While You Work” with lines line “shoving it where the sun don’t shine” may be “how we talk these days” and “on brand” for the CGI dwarf “Grumpy.” But as thrilling as hearing these cultural touchstone tunes anew might have been, the magic is gone in this recycling.

Rachel Zegler plays Snow White, a princess whose evil queen/stepmother (Gal Gadot) is a sorceress who has killed her father. The “West Side Story” starlet does what she can with this squeaky clean but pro-active Disney Princess. And Gadot gamely tries to vamp up a character and talk-sing a character who is mainly a creation of wardrobe and makeup to life.

Check out those Cybertruck fingernails!

Andrew Burnap of TV’s Mormon mini-series “Under the Banner of Heaven” is as bland a romantic lead as Disney has trotted out in years, playing a forest “bandit” who allies with and protects Snow White, and whose sarcastic song “Princess Problems” is pretty much the highlight of the musical updates Jeff Morrow brought to the party.

But as everyone suspected the moment word got out how Disney and director Marc Webb were casting “Snow White,” the blunder of blunders was deciding to cast actors to motion-capture perform the Seven Dwarves, and use CGI to render them into (not so) little people.

It doesn’t work. “Wicked” may have gotten away with erasing dwarf actors from Munchkinland in “The Wizard of Oz” universe. But here, with these inexpressive digital dwarves, there is no more “performance” to these creations than there is to the digital forest creatures who also gather round Snow White to save her from that evil queen.

Without real live actors playing the dwarves, there is no “party.” What could have frolicked falls flat. Even having Dopey look like Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Newman (or George W. Bush), even getting Titus Burgess to voice Bashful, doesn’t help.

“Game of Thrones” featured player George Appleby is only member of the cast who seemed to get the tone they should have been going for — light and jaunty. He’d have been better served leading the corps of dwarves — good actors, like himself, listed with OhSoSmall.com actor’s registry.

Whatever was behind that decision at Disney, and the many obviously digital settings served up, it’s just another sign that this generation of bottom-line-obsessed execs at the House of Mouse has lost the thread. Nobody there seems to “Whistle While You Work,” and the evidence is turning up on screen.

Rating: PG

Cast: Rachel Zegler, Andrew Burnap, Emilia Faucher and Gal Gadot

Credits: Directed by Marc Webb, scripted by Erin Cressida Wilson, based on the fairy tale by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm and the Walt Disney animated film. A Walt Disney Studios release.

Running time: 1:49

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