Movie Review: De Niro vs. De Niro in Levinson’s “The Alto Knights”

For his latest feat, Oscar winning screen legend Robert De Niro plays two roles, as rival Mafia leaders Frank Costello and Vito Genovese at the mob’s late 1950s peak.

Another word for “feat” might be “stunt” or “gimmick” in the case of “The Alto Knights.” But what’s the movie rule for “gimmicks?” How good would the picture be without them?

Oscar winner Barry Levinson (“Rain Man”) and “Casino/Goodfellas” screenwriter Nicholas Pileggi cook up a pretty good mob history lesson to immerse the Two De Niros in. The gimmick doesn’t make the picture, but it does add to something to it, as DeNiro makes these two characters as distinct as young Vito Corleone from “The Godfather Part 2” and Paul Vitti from “Analyze This” and “That.”

In the 1950s, America was still living under the illusion that “The Mafia,” aka “La Cosa Nostra” aka “organized crime” didn’t exist. The apparently-closeted FBI chief for life J. Edgar Hoover sold that lie as part of his self-mythologizing. “No such thing as ‘organized’ crime.'” “The Alto Knights” is about the nation waking up from that stupor of corruption and realizing that the West Coast mob, the Northeastern Mob, the Chicago mob and the Miami mob, and all the big Italian-led mobs in between, were indeed “organized.”

Frank Costello was the mafia don above the dons, an ex-con and criminal figure who’d bought and bribed his way into charitable respectability and New York politics. He passed himself off as a modest Everyman who “takes taxis” lives well but not at all lavishly.

His childhood running mate Vito Genovese was an impulsive, never-polished goon who grew up with Costello in The Alto Knights Social Club in Hell’s Kitchen, New York. Vito’s efforts to manipulate the press and the “system” are more obvious and often ridiculed.

The movie’s about how Genovese tried to kill Costello, and the ripple effects of that which exposed the mafia and brought a reckoning for the “families” and the pugnatious mugs who ran them.

Even if you don’t know mafia history, and you could be a little lost in this if you are, a lot of the surnames will register in the memory — Gigante, Genovese, Anastasia, Bonanno, Lucchese, Costello and Gambino among them.

Pileggi’s script, voice-over narrated to death by De Niro as Costello, details the chain of events that connected “professional gambler,” “racketeer” and “Prime Minister of the Underworld” Costello to still-trigger-happy Genovese, whose idol had been Lucky Luciano, back in the day.

And through their feud, the career-making Kefauver Mafia Hearings in Congress and an infamous mob summit in Apalachin, New York, America and the world learned of the wide reach of the mafia and started to do something about it.

The story opens with an assassination attempt, which Costello survives.

“I got the message. That’s it. I’m done…I don’t wanna get killed over something I don’t want no more.”

He won’t speak of revenge, won’t endorse hotheaded underlings like Albert Anastasia (Michael Rispoli, very good) who want Vito “taken care of.”

But how can he manage that, with Genovese berating underlings who didn’t “finish the job” in ranting English and Italian complaints.

“The Alto Knights” is an old man’s movie, featuring old comrades and rivals, fat and rich and if not “happy,” at least carried to and fro in thebiggest, most luxurious American made sedans of the era. Even the state trooper who tracks them to their “commission” meeting is long in the tooth.

Genovese’s ex (Katherine Narducci) drags him to court. She drags Frank and his wife’s (Debra Messing) names into the public record.

Mobsters will die and Costello’s canny exit strategy is matched against Genovese’s terminal paranoia.

De Niro’s Costello is every inch the mob kingpin in winter, and exactly as you’d expect him to play the man — reserved, meditative and maybe even cunning. But his Genovese, in omnipresent hat and sporting a prosthetic chin, is one of his great creations — loathesome, simple and instinctual, a murderer who gets others to do his murdering for him these days.

Levinson and De Niro find humor in that lethal paranoia, and in how small a gang of gray-haired (mostly), pot-bellied (generally) underworld kings look when they’re cornered, out of their element, their Caddys, Lincolns and Imperials stuck in the Upstate New York mud.

The film needed more flashbacks to justify that “Alto Knights” of their youth title. And old pro Levinson knows voice-over narration is the lazy filmmaker’s creakiest crutch.

But De Niro’s the reason to see this, and whatever the De Niro Derangement Syndrome crowd may say, he carries “Alto Nights” as high as it goes. It’s not on a par with Scorsese or Coppola’s best statements on this history, but it’s not bad. And twice the De Niro at the same price makes it a bargain.

Rating: R, graphic violence, profanity

Cast: Robert DeNiro, Debra Messing, Kathrine Narducci, Michael Rispoli and Cosmo Jarvis

Credits: Directed by Barry Levinson, scripted by Nicholas Pileggi. A Warner Bros. release.

Running time: 2:00

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Movie Review: Can “The Ugly Stepsister” make that Glass Slipper fit?

Yes, let’s have a “Cinderella” without the spin. Pound home the “princess” as beauty bias messaging with body horror driven by body dysphoria.

And make it splatter film bloody, sexually explicit and occasionally funny — laughs with a grimace of pain and a touch of turn-away gruesome. Nothing “Wicked” about that.

“The Ugly Stepsister” is a dark dissection of a classic fairy tale, a Norwegian horror comedy about how “Real beauty comes from inside” is a lie and “beauty is pain” is what “they” never tell you.

Lea Myren stars as Elvira, a moon-eyed romantic who reads the poetry of the kingdom’s prince and dreams of one day marrying him. Her mother (Ane Dahl Torp) remains a great beauty, her younger sister (Flo Fagerli) is cute, so perhaps one day she’ll blossom, too and her wish will come true.

First, though, widowed mom has to marry a man with money. Sure, his only daughter (Thea Sofie Loch Næss) may be a classic blonde Nordic beauty who turns heads. But Agnes is smitten with the handsome stableboy (Malte Gårdinger) with nary a thought of Prince Julian (Isac Calmroth) in her head.

But when the elderly groom doesn’t make it through one slice of wedding cake, all bets off. It seems mother Rebekka was relieved to be marrying money, while her elderly titled intended was certain she was the one who was loaded.

“They have no money!” sounds even more dire and disappointing in Norwegian (with English subtitles). Now, marrying money becomes the entire household’s obsession.

A royal ball for all the “noble virgins” of the kingdom, thrown for the benefit of Prince Julian? That could be their golden ticket.

Agnes and Elvira are in the dance class that’s to perform a little number for the prince, but Rebekka conspires to fix it so that Agnes doesn’t get the spotlight. As the blonde is cruel to plain and somewhat simple Elvira, we sympathize with that.

But what mother puts poor Elvira through — baroque braces, a nose job and baroque fairy tale eyelash surgery — via callous Queer Eye for the Straight Girl Dr. Esthétique (Adam Lundgren)– tells us no one here gets off lightly.

Weight loss? Two words to turn your stomach come to mind.

“Tapeworm egg.”

Myren walks a fine, funny line with this performance, making Elvira by turns pitiable and sympathetic, and crazed and cruel and laughable.

Loch Næss — let’s assume that’s a stage name — likewise upends expectations for the young noblelady who finds herself knocked on her entitlement and forced to do menial work. She makes sympathizing for Cinderella a hard sell.

Writer-director Blichfeldt’s debut feature is more cringe-worthy than laugh-out-loud funny. She picked obvious targets.

But there’s a lot to be said for having the audicity to “go there” and go gory when you’re sending up the ugly open secret that “Beauty is pain,” that it’s a trap and that it’s well past time to stop taking fairy tales with princes and “Sleeping Beauties” at “children’s story” face value.

Which is one reason among many why “The Ugly Stepsister” will never play on The Hallmark Channel.

Rating: unrated, graphic, bloody violence, explicit sex, nudity

Cast: Lea Myren, Thea Sofie Loch Næss,
Isac Calmroth, Adam Lundgren, Flo Fagerli and Ane Dahl Torp

Credits: Scripted and directed by Emilie Blichfeldt. An IFC/Shudder release.

Running time: 1:45

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Documentary Review: Zookeepers get in touch with their feelings caring for a famous Korean panda — “My Dearest Bao”

The departure of a beloved giant panda, sent home from Koreo to China to propogate this endangered species, becomes a most touching farewell as we mourn her leaving with the two zookeepers who cared for her in “My Dearest Fu Bao.”

Pandas are among nature’s most adorable creatures, and this documentary by Shim Hyeong-jun and Thomas Ko encourages the viewer to overdose on cute. But it’s also about loss, solitude, intimate grief and very public group grieving and the connection humans feel with animals, which those animals often acknowledge.

Fu Bao was born in Korea, and as she reaches four years of age, she’s to go home to her natural breeding place, where the bamboo is sweeter and the gene pool is larger, ensuring the survival of this rarest of bears.

Her leaving hit the staff of the Everland Zoo — which is all but built around housing and letting the public see pandas — hard. They still have Fu Bao’s parents, and her two adorable baby sisters, as a draw. But the years of care, attention and interaction with Fu Bao makes this loss lead to grieving, especially to her chief caregivers, Kang Cheol-won and Song Young-kwan.

The two men have tended gardens raising food for the zoo, improved her playground, cleaned her night time enclosure, and catered to Fu Bao’s every need. Learning that she was leaving, Kang even arranged for a heavy duty hammock to be sewn and he himself installs it in a tree in her compound. She and her mother played and napped in one when she was a toddler, he explains.

Both men acknowledge openly-expressed male grief and even male hugging aren’t the social norm in Korea. But this departure hits Kang so hard he weeps and it makes Song recall an earlier on-the-job loss that he only just got over, thanks to the lovable Fu Bao, who let him “love again.”

Surrounded by a park emblazoned with slogans playing up the countdown to Fu Bao’s departure the two — Kang especially — struggle to cope, and to comfort the mobs that pour in to see her before she leaves. People endure 400 minute wait times, and wait outside the panda enclosure for Kang or Song to reassure them and comfort them, a sort of “Elvis has left the building” gesture that plays as incredibly sweet.

The two men have tended gardens raising food for the zoo, and catered to Fu Bao’s every need. Learning that she was leaving, Kang even arranged for a heavy duty hammock to sewn and he himself installs it in a tree in her playground compound. She and her mother played and napped in one when she was a toddler, her explains.

Both men acknowledge publicly expressed male grief and even male hugging aren’t the social norm in Korea. But this departure hits Kang so hard he openly weeps and it makes Song recall an earlier on-the-job loss that he only just got over, thanks to the lovable Fu Bao, who let him “love again” (in Korean with English subtitles).

Surrounded by a park emblazoned with slogans playing up the countdown to Fu Bao’s departure —
“You’ll always be our baby panda!” — the two, Kang especially, struggle to cope, and to comfort the mobs that pour in to see her before she leaves. People endure 400 minute wait times, and wait outside the panda enclosure for Kang or Song to reassure them and comfort them, a sort of “Elvis has left the building” gesture that plays as incredibly sweet.

One is tempted to ask what psychologists and sociologists might have to say about this public grief and human connections with affectionate and adorable animals. But when the departure comes and goes, and Kang travels to visit Fu Bao in her Chinese home some while later, we have our answers. And you’d have to be made of stone to not be moved.

Rating: unrated, G-worthy

Cast: Kang Cheol-won, Song Young-kwan and Fu Bao.

Credits: Directed by Shim Hyeong-jun and Thomas Ko. A Well Go USA release.

Running time: 1:36

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Netflixable? Veterans battle Veterans in the “Aftermath” of a Terror Attack…Committed by Disgruntled Veterans

A lone combat vet squares off against bloody-minded veterans-turned-contractors on a bridge in Boston in “Aftermath,” a sometimes satisfying action pic undone by lapses in logic, talk-you-to-death villains and murky, uneasy politics.

Dylan Sprouse, who got his big breaks as Adam Sandler’s kid in “Big Daddy” and on TV’s “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody,” plays an ex-Army Ranger whose drive to the movies with his kid sister (Megan Stott of “Little Fires Everywhere” and “Yes Day”) is interrupted by a terrorist attack.

The assault on Boston’s Tobin Bridge is carried out with military precision and uncertain aims. A gang of commandos given “Kilo, Foxtrot, Tango, Sierra, Yankee, Echo” code-names by their leader, “Romeo” (nepo baby Mason Gooding of “Scream”) block traffic and blow two spans of the bridge out.

Their goal? Get to a convict (Dichen Lochman of “Severance”) being transported to a trial.

With a number of people already killed and some 70 or so ziptied to their car steering wheels as hostages, the ex-military/now-“contractors” terrorists have demands, and a live stream platform on which to broadcast them to the world.

Only Eric and his “particular skills” stands in their way. Well, there’s always an older truck-driving vet (Will Lyman) who can be relied on in a pinch. Everybody else is just cowardly “collateral damage.”

And then there’s Eric’s PTSD flashbacks to something that happened in Afghanistan that have to be dealt with.

The set-up is “Die Hard” meets “The Rock,” a plot that’s bloody-minded with military men and women who have gone fascist driving the action.

Eric will pick off the masked murderers, one by one. He’ll drop the occasional one-liner about how he’s acquired a bad guy’s semi-automatic weapon.

“I didn’t get this by playing rock, paper scissors!”

Gooding chews up the scenery as a Man with a Mission, the pill-and-eye-popping commander they used to call “Captain Chaos” starting “the greatest revolution since 1776,” spitting with rage, hectoring the cops and only really challenged by his combat-vet quarry and the convict who remembers him, who betrayed him, the woman they nicknamed “Doc” Brown (Lochman).

Cute.

The picture wanders off the straight and narrow when it pauses to pontificate. The combat situation problem solving is interesting enough, even when far more logical moves make themselves known.

But whatever the effects and convincing (faked) Tobin Bridge setting, the object of the Nathan Graham Davis screenplay is to keep the hero and the villain alive and maybe a wild card character and a sidekick around for a big finale. Director Patrick Lussier — “Drive Angry” was his high-water mark — never forgets that, and more’s the pity.

Rating: unrated, very violent

Cast: Dylan Sprouse, Mason Gooding, Dichen Lochman and Megan Stott.

Credits: Directed by Patrick Lussier, scripted by Nathan Graham Davis. A Voltage release on Netflix.

Running time: 1:37

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Movie Review: Bill SkarsgÃ¥rd gets “Locked” in that one car he should never have tried to steal

You’ve seen guys like this in many a city throughout the world. They stroll down a less busy street, eyes darting back and forth under their hoodies, tried to look casual as they take hold of every car door handle they pass, hunting for one that’s unlocked.

Maybe you’ve even seen them find one that opens. They could be intent on boosting it, or maybe theyll just steal whatever’s inside.

Suppose one of those guys got his comeuppance by robbing the wrong SUV? He gets in, he can’t get out. He can’t call for help. His screams are muffled by extra soundproofing. He can’t bust windows or tire-iron a door or the hatch open. And his captor, the owner, conceives a way to lecture, torment and torture him for being that one car thief that owner is determined won’t get away with it. He won’t even survive it.

That was the killer premise of “4×4,” a claustrophobic, paranoid class war parable that came from Argeninta a few years ago. Reviewing it then, I called it “simplicity itself,” and it was only a matter of time before Hollywood took a stab at it.

Bill SkarsgÃ¥rd plays the scrawny, “street smart” punk who breaks into the wrong SUV and Anthony Hopkins is the sadistic, rich, too-much-time-on-his-hands owner who hectors, hurts and taunts him in “Locked,” an almost note-by-note remake of the Argentinian thriller.

The “politics” of it all may be unusual for a Hollywood production (filmed in Vancouver). It deviates, here and there, from the original thanks at least partly due to the killer casting of the leads. But it has almost exactly the same impact. Simplicity translates easily. “Locked” in a “”4×4” still works.

Eddie should have known better than to open that most luxurious SUV door on the backstreet inner city lot where he found it. He’s “street smart” and reasonably well-read, we learn. “Self taught.” But he never learned Latin.

That tank with the mock Bentley/Tesla shaped badge is a “Dolus.” Any ancient Roman could tell you that’s a warning. “Deceit,” “trickery” — that high-dollar ride is a trap.

A prologue establishes Eddie’s “character,” an urban “loser” who can’t get his run-down van out of the shop, can’t meet his obligations and can’t get help from anybody he calls. Every “I hate to ask” gets him disconnected. Every bit of bargaining with rude big city mechanics earns a brusque “Get the f— outta here.”

He may have his pride, cursing out the stranger who gives him a few bucks, thinking he’s a homeless “junkie.” But he’s an idiot with impulse control issues. He grabs a wallet from the garage where his car is under repair. He spends that donated panhandler cash on a scratchoff.

His ex is “over it.” His little girl wonders if Daddy’s picking her up after school, but she’s starting to figure out the answer will always be “I have a lot goin’ on…I gotta go to work.”

Eddie’s immediate need is $475. And “go to work” means stealing. He needs something worth $475 under the seats, in the glovebox, storage compartment or hatch in that luxe Dolus he ducks into. He finds his doom instead.

He’s too panicked and furious to answer the “Answer Me” calls on the car’s bluetooth. He regrets it the moment he connects.

Jolly good,” the plummy-voiced old Brit chirps. “Welcome aboard!”

Eddie’s “such a naughty boy.” He’s about to get a lesson in “consequences.” Pulling a Glock and firing it in fury, trying to break a window, only earns him a bloody ricochet round in the leg. Pleas that his captor “call the cops,” earn a dismissive “complete waste of time.”

William, the owner, has has his car broken into six times, he tells the career crook. The police are too distracted to bother with property crimes, even those committed against the rich.

You’re bleeding? “You’re in luck! I’m a doctor.” Tell him where it hurts.

As this SUV is soundproofed, with cell phone and wifi blockers, bullet-proof glass, even getting hold of the tire iron in the hatch is no help. Eddie’s to be starved, denied food and water, and lectured. And when he curses his captor, he’ll be tased. The seats can shock.

Eddie is forced to listen to classical music and William’s personal history as they bicker, curse and debate “justice,” who’s the “criminal” here, Dostoyevsky’s “Crime and Punishment” as Eddie is tortured by deprivation, too much heat, too much AC, and blasts of polka music.

“Communist manifesto!” our would-be oligarch bellows when the topic turns to a world made of haves and have-nots. “So you want ANARCHY!” “No one will miss you” is his reassurance when Eddie’s fate seems sealed.

And God forbid Eddie give his name or allows himself to be coerced into surrendering his Social Security number. We all know what the rich want with that. Or think we do.

“Brightburn” director David Yarovesky makes the violence in-your-face and the action beats kick you and Eddie around. Mostly, though, he just lets two good actors, separated by cell, do their stuff, bite of chewy dialogue and sweat and spit and fume and make their cases. Sympathies will shift and maybe even make you think.

Sure, “Locked” is a remake. It doesn’t hold a lot of surprises if you’ve seen the original. Yes, it has “Hollywood” touches.

But Hopkins and SkarsgÃ¥rd and Yarovesky deliver, even if they leave out my favorite joke from the original film. When all else fails, reading the owner’s manual is the surest sign a guy’s at his most desperate.

Rating: R, bloody violence, drug use and profanity

Cast: Bill Skarsgård and Anthony Hopkins.

Credits:Directed by David Yarovesky, scripted by David Arlen Ross, based on the film “4×4” by Mariono Cohn and Gastón Duprat. An Avenue release.

Running time: 1:35

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The only film critic in America converting a small barn to a henhouse?

I won’t refer to my not-a-professional carpenter, not remotely Amish efforts as “cinematic.” But let’s just say that putting down the rasp, the hammer, assorted screwdrivers, the jigsaw and the ancient power drill, I’ve never felt more “Keatonesque.

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Movie Review: Surviving “Last Tango,” “Being Maria”

The scene, like the movie it dominates, was infamous before anybody outside of the production had seen it.

The movie was stilted, strange, shocking and controversial, even in the hypersexualized “art cinema” of the ’70s. And the title, “Last Tango in Paris,” has been a cultural touchstone, punchline and “pornographic” dividing line ever since.

“Being Maria” is a film that tries and mostly succeeds in immersing us in the experience of the French actress Maria Schneider, cast and almost certainly abused and exploited in a movie that would both make her name, and ruin it, to say nothing of the psychological damage it probably left her with.

Based on a biographical memoir by Schneider’s journalist-cousin Vanessa Schneider, Jessica Palud’s film hinges on “that scene,” and exacts a form of revenge on director Bernardo Bertolucci and “Tango” as she does. She makes him cruel and pretentious and his film more inane and indulgent than most critics treated it at the time.

Anamaria Vartolomei — she was “Kai” in “Mickey 17” and Haydee in the most recent “Count of Monte-Cristo” — portrays Schneider from her teen introduction to film and through the trauma of making “Last Tango,” suggesting the lasting damage and hurt it caused as she struggled to overcome it, professionally and psychologically.

Maria’s single mom Marie (Marie Gillain) raised her alone and flies into a fury when her schoolgirl daughter gets stars in her eyes when she spends time with her estranged father, the famous French film actor Daniel Gélin (Yvan Attal). Gélin, who worked with Ophuls and Hitchcock, had an affair with her mother and didn’t leave his wife for her and wasn’t a part of Maria’s life.

Until, that is, she hit her teens, reconnected with him, spent time on sets and used her gorgeous looks and nepo baby connections to sign with his agent. But she was still a complete unknown when the director of “The Conformist” and “The Spider’s Stratagem” cast her in the movie that her father insisted would “make” her.

Casting the handsome Giuseppe Maggio of Italian romcoms like Netflix’s “Out of My League” and “Four to Dinner” is another way our director takes a shot at the late Bernado Bertolucci.

“On my films,” Maggio’s Bernardo pretentiously intones, “there are no actors, no actresses. Only characters!

The very young and inexperienced Schneider adapts to the “intensity” Bertolucci wants his players to bring to his talkative chance encounter May-October affair film about sex and “love” and boundaries in an age of ennui. And she gets over her awe of her co-star, 47 years old and “fat,” but still dashing and still the greatest screen actor of his generation.

Matt Dillon gives us just a hint of Marlon Brando’s voice, letting the years, the hair and the presence get across the essence of a bored film actor interested in being challenged by a tyro Italian filmmaker, but also so comfortable in the power imbalance in this industry, on this set making this male-wish-fulfillment fantasy with an inexperienced teen treated as if any “surprise” the men in charge pull on her to get her to register shock is fair game.

“It’s only a film,” he purrs, in French, after the infamous “butter” scene, which leaves Schneider in tears.

“There’s no such thing as ‘bad press,'” her movie star dad assures her when the notoriety of that moment spreads long before the film’s release.

But Maria, in this film account of her reaction anyway, knows better than to let Bertolucci’s “Good, very good” after yelling “cut” pass.

“No, NO Bernardo,” she says (in French with English subtitles). “That was NOT good!”

The film leaves Bertolucci as a sketched-in villain, one of the giants of the cinema of his day reduced to crude manipulations, ganging up with his star on the ingenue in his care on his set. Having met and interviewed him when his not-nearly-as-exploitative but still kind of icky “Stealing Beauty” came out, that seems a fair shot. Liv Tyler, the young starlet of “Stealing Beauty,” got off easy.

Brando is likewise something of a cypher here, more a “character” or “figure” than an actor who flatters and flirts and tries to reassure but fails utterly to protect his powerless, naive and much younger co-star.

And there’s a familiarity to Maria’s life after “Last Tango” that leaves her new interest in clubbing, random pick-ups and needle drug addiction depressing if not wholly surprising.

She appeared in other iconic films — Antonioni’s “The Passenger,” a well-regarded ’90s “Jane Eyre.” But as Palud and co-screenwriter Laurette Polmanss show us, her career was for decades a series of awkward public encounters with people who hated “Last Tango,” which got banned in some countries, and asked or unasked questions from the press about her most infamous movie.

But in this film account based on a memoir by her cousin, we take comfort in how “Last Tango” hardened Maria Schneider, toughened her up and made her “difficult” by reputation. She stands up against the typecast demands that she take her shirt.

She walked off the infamous “Caligula” and a role that had to be recast when she refused to appear nude in it. Smart.

Did the devotion of a loyal lover (Céleste Brunnquell) save her from her “Tango” entangled demons? Even if that never happened, “Being Maria” allows us the comfort of hoping so.

Rating: unrated, sexual violence, drug abuse, nudity, profanity

Cast: Anamaria Vartolomei, Giuseppe Maggio, Céleste Brunnquell, Yvan Attal, Marie Gillain and Matt Dillon.

Credits: Directed by Jessica Palud, scripted by Laurette Polmanss and Jessica Palud, based on a memoir by Vanessa Schneider. A Kino Lorber release.

Running time: 1:43

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It’s Saint Patrick’s Day — Watch “The Quiet Man,” listen to “diddley aye music,” and plot your Pilgrimage to Eire

That’s the drill every March 17, isn’t it?

Listen to a spot of this.

Watch an Irish film or two. “The Late Rite,” I’d suggest. Or Roddy Doyle’s “The Snapper,” “The Van” or “The Commitments,” maybe Gabriel Byrne’s “Into the West,” or perhaps “Circle of Friends” or the more obscure early efforts of Liam Neeson.

Relish the grand Irish actor, Ciaran Hinds, who so aptly defined this music and the Irish cinema he and Colm Meaney and Cillian Murphy and Saorise Ronan prop up every chance they get.

And plan your own trip to the cinematic Ireland, the homey, music-filled pubs, the lush green countryside, the seaside cliffs and the quaint villages where movies like “The Quiet Man” were filmed.

I’ve visited a few locations used by “Braveheart,” “The Quiet Man” and lesser and greater films around Dublin, Trim, Galway, Cong, Athenry etc. Lovely place to take in during the fall or spring, although I can’t imagine it ever looking grim, even in the dank and chilly winter.

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Classic Film Review: Jimmy Stewart, Strother Martin and Kurt Russell, 1930s Ex-Cons on a “Fools’ Parade” (1971)

It’s easy to dismiss the picaresque action comedy “Fool’s Parade” as an “old man movie,” because that was kind of the idea back when it was made.

James Stewart was 63 in 1971, when it came out, with a bunch of 50ish co-stars and a 50something director whose best years were behind him. That was “old” in 1971, before “60 is the new 40” got any traction.

And Stewart, his fellow Oscar winners George Kennedy and Anne Baxter (“All About Eve”), William Windom and Strother Martin had been fixtures on the screen for decades upon decades when they filmed this 1930s period piece.

This tale of a convict trying to cash his big, fat, prison labor money check when he gets out in the middle of the Great Depression is emblematic of the Hollywood of 1971. The studios leaned on older stars and their older filmgoer fans because they didn’t know what to put on screen that would pull in new generations. The Youth Movement that ushered in both the glorious, artisistic high water mark films and also the business-redefining blockbusters of the ’70s were a couple of years from taking over.

So studios leaned on old reliables like John Wayne, Stewart and others of that generation, even if their fans no longer went to the movies. Newman, Redford, Streisand and Poitier and Garner and McQueen could only manage a film a year. And Elvis was finished.

What’s surprising, dipping into this lightly-regarded, timeworn and formulaic Depression Era “Western” in a different setting is how funny it still plays. Sure, it creaks and wheezes and groans like a Ford Model A on a backwater dirt road. But reliable players who remembered the sentiments, mores and attitudes of that bygone era and who knew where the laughs were deliver, time and again.

The sight of Martin, Kennedy and Windom sweating, grimacing and grinning, and Stewart scrambling, ducking and rowing, sputtering and fuming for the last time in a star vehicle can be a nostalgic delight.

Stewart plays aged Mattie Appleyard, one of three convicts released from the state penitentiary in Glory, W.Va. the same day in 1935. Lee (Martin) was a bank robber, and Johnny (Kurt Russell) a local kid convicted of sexual assault. Appleyard did the most time — 40 years — for killing a couple of men.

It is his paycheck from his years of barely-paid prison labor that they’re all relying on to open a general store somewhere. The $25,428.32 Mattie has coming to him will set them all up.

But everything about the sinister guard, Capt. Council (Kennedy) tells them they won’t live to collect that cash. He may croon “Shall We Gather at the River,” like the Sunday school teacher that he is as he escorts them to town. But the threats about the train they’d damned well better board and the return to Glory they’d best not even think about give us, and the soon-to-be-ex-convicts, the willies.

Council’s “See you before tomorrow’s sunrise” is a straight-up threat.

Because “all that money leaving town” vexes the broke locals. The smirking fat cat banker (David Huddleston) is the only one who doesn’t seem concerned. He knows what’s coming. He arranged it.

The threats seem to come from every corner on that short train ride, as Lee is given to over-sharing their business and finances and one tipsy passenger (Windom) seems entirely too interested. But threats or not, “fear of God” Council be damned, they have to get back to Glory.

The narrative staggers into and out of town as cagey Mattie strains to find a way to cash that check that won’t get them robbed, killed or locked back up. A handy hooker (Baxter) may intervene. When the guys after you have guns, sometimes only dynamite will get their attention.

And wouldn’t you know it, the kid’s best friend “inside” — the prison’s bloodhound — is forever tripping them up as they try to just be regular, returned-to-society citizens attempting to cash a check that will secure their futures in the middle of a Depression.

Running gags include the sad-eyed but persistent hound, Mattie’s “all seeing” prophetic glass eye and the general sweatiness of old men on the run or in the chase.

Hunting them to rob and kill the three is OK, so long as they’re not church goers.

“You’uns is aetheists?”

Director McLaglen, no stranger to “old guys” action pics (“Hellfighters,” “Th Undefeated,” “The Wild Geese”) uses Moundsville, West Virginia locations to good effect in this shaggy (hound) dog comedy. His lone special effect? The cast.

Russell more or less holds his own, midway between his Disney years and the adult career that really took off after a late ’70s TV movie turn playing Elvis. Baxter vamps it up and seems to enjoy herself in the process — caked with makeup, weighed down with extra large eyelashes.

Character actor typecasting ensures Windom and Martin get their predictable moments and chuckles.

Kennedy squints and sweats and shows off stained, metal-braced teeth as Council dirties one pair of spotless white sneakers after another in his pursuit, a man of twisted theology and a ready, philosophical excuse when things don’t go according to play.

“Who can foresee the unforseen?”

But Stewart sets the tone, by turns playful and mischievous, twinkly and ornery as this righteous and just plain muleheaded sage. He gets to utter the script’s pithiest line, an aphorism for the anti-fat-cat/”Religion is the opiate of the masses” 1930s that resonated in ’71 and rings even truer today.

“God uses the good ones,” Mattie intones. “The bad ones use God.

Rating: PG, violence, mild profanity

Cast: James Stewart, George Kennedy, Anne Baxter, Kurt Russell, David Huddleston, William Windom and Strother Martin.

Credits: Directed by Andrew V. McLaglen, scripted by James Lee Barrett, based on a novel by Davis Grubb. A Columbia Pictures release on Tubi, other streamers.

Running time: 1:38

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Netflixable? Millie Bobby meets The Russo Brothers — “The Electric State”

If it takes the bottomless checkbook of Netflix to finally make the fangirls and fanboys recognize what merde merchants the filmmaking Russo brothers are, so be it.

Famed for making the expensive trains run on time in effects heavy Marvel “event” movies, and for turning the last Avengers, Captain America included, into lucrative but joyless dreck, it was only when Netflix got into the indulge-the-Russos business (“The Gray Man”) that the teeming movie-loving masses finally caught on. Whatever their producing “content” skills, these two have the worst taste.

Netflix confirms our suspicions with their latest, the bloated bore “The Electric State.” The streamer gave the Russos access to Netflix’s first bonafide “star,” Millie Bobby Brown of “Stranger Things.” And if you thought the dog “Damsel” was a warning sign about the starlet’s future, sister, have I got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

“The Electric State” is based on a graphic novel by Swedish comic book artist, designer (And writer?) Simon StÃ¥lenhag (“Tales from the Loop”). As a film, it’s a cutesie retro-futuristic/alt history sci-fi action comedy that utterly misreads the moment.

With a world roiled by legitimate AI, robot and computer fears driven by amoral tech bros and their inhumane incel minions, here’s a picture that pitches robot “rights” as its thesis.

Hey, when they’re designed as varying shades of Wall-E adorable, with even Mr. Peanut (paid product placement/endorsement, “brought to you by”) on board, and voiced by a drawling Woody Harrelson, the comic pixie Jenny Slate and singing, hamming Scot Brian Cox, who wouldn’t want to let them run our world and our lives?

In an alternate version of the ‘recent past, society has embraced — thanks to Walt Disney in the ’50s — robots as a vital part of the labor force and of life on Earth. But by the Clinton Administration ’90s, robots have grown sentient enough to see their exploitation. They don’t just go on strike. They revolt, a revolt that erupts into war.

When humanity finally gets the upper hand, robotic spokesmodel Mr. Peanut (Woody Harrelson) negotiates a robotic exile to “The Exclusion Zone,” the American southwest, where no humans may intrude and robots run their own affairs. “Freedom from servitude” at last!

That’s the world siblings Michelle (Brown) and her super smart younger brother Christopher (Woody Norman) are growing up in. Until, that is, the “accident.” Michelle survives. Her sibling doesn’t.

But a robot version of their favorite canceled kiddie TV show Cosmo shows up. And for all the catchphrases this retro “Robots” style robot sputters in the voice of Alan Tudyck — “The Earth is in danger!” “The solar system’s gone haywire!” — Michelle picks up on who’s actually controlling this robot.

Her brother isn’t “dead” at all! He’s being held by Big Science somewhere, he doesn’t know where, and his only hope of escape is sending this kitschy corner of their past to his sister, who must track him down.

With a little help from that robot and from smuggler Keats (Chris Pratt) and his robotic sidekick Herman (Anthony Mackie) and the “misunderstood” robots out there in the Exclusion Zone, maybe they’ll foil the evil scientist (Stanley Tucci) and his military, VR robot inhabiting muscle (Giancarlo Esposito, like Mackie, fresh off of “Captain America: Brave New World”).

Aimed at kids who’ll giggle at the adorably retro robots and snicker at the profanity, “Electric State” creates cringes you didn’t know you’d cringe about.

Robot/human sing-alongs to “I Fought the Law and the Law Won,” Brian Cox’s baseball-promoting robot bellowing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” stupid “Don’t Stop Believing” and “I Will Survive” needle-drops on the soundtrack, groaning abandoned mall jokes (where the food court’s “no expiration date” foodstock is clumsily mocked), it’s all here.

So are Cox, Slate and Mackie, among many others, all voicing the collectibly cute robots with some of the most insipid voice casting/acting since Slim Pickens was brought in for Disney’s “The Black Hole” 40 plus years ago.

At least Mackie is spared, with his voice autotuned/helium pitched into unrecognizability.

“Clapper” — the gadget that let you clap-on-/clap-off the lights in your home — is the “highlight” of not-distant-past references meant to play as jokes.

Pratt gives his all, more or less. Tucci and Esposito hire out their professionalism one more time. Ke Hey Quan, playing a cutesie scientist and a cutesier “P.C.” workstation, is the most embarassed Oscar winner here. Holly Hunter collects a check as a TV interviewer.

And the Russos? They pile it up high and deep, five shovelfulls at a time.

There’s barely a laugh or an entertaining moment in all of this. And as they’re the ones in charge of bringing “The Avengers” back with films in 2026-27, abandon hope, all ye faboys/girls who enter here.

Rating: PG-13, violence, profanity

Cast: Millie Bobby Brown, Chris Pratt, Giancarlo Esposito, Jason Alexander, Ke Huy Quan and Stanley Tucci, the voices of Woody Harrelson, Jenny Slate, Alan Tudyck, Brian Cox, many others

Credits: Directed by Anthony Russo and Joe Russo, scripted by Christopher Marcus and Stephen McFeely, based on a novel by Simon Stålenhag. A Netflix release.

Running time: 2:08

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