Movie Review: “Snow White” and her Singing CGI Pals Don’t Get the Job Done

There’s nothing inherently wrong with Disney’s recent practice of remaking its animated musical classics as live action films. Reviving a timeless story for a new generation and getting more value out of a long-treasured piece of intellectual property is to be expected, and good business practice.

And Walt Disney’s hand-drawn breakthrough animated hit of 1937 “Snow White” is probably the stodgiest and most old-fashioned of the master’s masterworks.

But the new “Snow White” dishonors the original film by being such a half-hearted cash grab as to call attention to its utterly mediocre script, generally colorless cast and stale, soundstagey look.

Like the recent animated “Moana” sequel and the “Mufasa” “Lion King” prequel, there’s a corporate joylessness that weighs on most every scene.

Updating “Heigh Ho” and “Whistle While You Work” with lines line “shoving it where the sun don’t shine” may be “how we talk these days” and “on brand” for the CGI dwarf “Grumpy.” But as thrilling as hearing these cultural touchstone tunes anew might have been, the magic is gone in this recycling.

Rachel Zegler plays Snow White, a princess whose evil queen/stepmother (Gal Gadot) is a sorceress who has killed her father. The “West Side Story” starlet does what she can with this squeaky clean but pro-active Disney Princess. And Gadot gamely tries to vamp up a character and talk-sing a character who is mainly a creation of wardrobe and makeup to life.

Check out those Cybertruck fingernails!

Andrew Burnap of TV’s Mormon mini-series “Under the Banner of Heaven” is as bland a romantic lead as Disney has trotted out in years, playing a forest “bandit” who allies with and protects Snow White, and whose sarcastic song “Princess Problems” is pretty much the highlight of the musical updates Jeff Morrow brought to the party.

But as everyone suspected the moment word got out how Disney and director Marc Webb were casting “Snow White,” the blunder of blunders was deciding to cast actors to motion-capture perform the Seven Dwarves, and use CGI to render them into (not so) little people.

It doesn’t work. “Wicked” may have gotten away with erasing dwarf actors from Munchkinland in “The Wizard of Oz” universe. But here, with these inexpressive digital dwarves, there is no more “performance” to these creations than there is to the digital forest creatures who also gather round Snow White to save her from that evil queen.

Without real live actors playing the dwarves, there is no “party.” What could have frolicked falls flat. Even having Dopey look like Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Newman (or George W. Bush), even getting Titus Burgess to voice Bashful, doesn’t help.

“Game of Thrones” featured player George Appleby is only member of the cast who seemed to get the tone they should have been going for — light and jaunty. He’d have been better served leading the corps of dwarves — good actors, like himself, listed with OhSoSmall.com actor’s registry.

Whatever was behind that decision at Disney, and the many obviously digital settings served up, it’s just another sign that this generation of bottom-line-obsessed execs at the House of Mouse has lost the thread. Nobody there seems to “Whistle While You Work,” and the evidence is turning up on screen.

Rating: PG

Cast: Rachel Zegler, Andrew Burnap, Emilia Faucher and Gal Gadot

Credits: Directed by Marc Webb, scripted by Erin Cressida Wilson, based on the fairy tale by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm and the Walt Disney animated film. A Walt Disney Studios release.

Running time: 1:49

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About Roger Moore

Movie Critic, formerly with McClatchy-Tribune News Service, Orlando Sentinel, published in Spin Magazine, The World and now published here, Orlando Magazine, Autoweek Magazine
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