The true story of a pig farmer who killed hired hands and fed them to her hogs becomes an amateurishly awful thriller in the hands of first-time feature director Adam Fair, as “PigLady” fails in pretty much every way a movie can.

It’s built on that “weekend at my Dad’s cabin” in Oregon formula, four young city folk of the SOTA demographic head off for a vacation amongst the scary rural folks, and find themselves fighting for their lives against a monster and her swine, who have developed a taste for human flesh.

That’s as gross as it sounds, but not nearly as scary as it sounds.

Our “monster” (Sandra Dee Tryon) is a unisex lump we never really see in the face. She’s adept at using a machete like a throwing knife and single-minded in her pursuit of “junkies” nobody will miss to hire and eventually kill on her remote pig farm.

Our traveling quartet — played by Alicia Karami, Karri Davis, Liam Watkins and co-writer/director Adam Fair — are a dull collection of “types,” with Fair giving his SoCal character a gun, a drawl and a Marine Corps background.

There are a lot of ways to save money on a low-budget film, and one of them is staging the entire introduction to your would-be victims in a parked SUV because driving shots are complicated and driving and acting and directing is hard.

Remembering lines like “I have a chronic disorder of ‘douche bag,'” without rolling into the ditch can be tricky. Drawling “I will protect you and I am strapped” with a straight-face just doubles the degree of difficulty.

Despite peppering the footage with hogs wandering through the frame and XCUs of porkers, the pigs never look menacing.

There are continuity errors, incompetent efforts to speed up a sheriff’s dept. vehicle’s response to a call and some of the worst run-for-your-life/pass yourself off as terrified “acting” I’ve seen outside of a student film.

A pig is butchered (killed off camera) for a cookout, there’s gratuitous hot tub scene and a lot of bad dialogue, some of it from their gay/transgender friends, but most of it delivered by the co-writer/director and co-star.

“When I’m done with your man, he’s gonna be shakin’ it with BOTH hands.”

Fair enough.

Rating: unrated, graphic violence, drug abuse, nudity, profanity

Cast: Alicia Karami, Sandra Dee Tryon, Karri Davis, Adam Fair, Shyvan Storm, Liam Watkins, Lazarus Tate and Geno Romo.

Credits: Directed by Adam Fair, scripted by Adam Fair and Alex C. Johnson. A Gravitas Ventures release.

Running time: 1:40