From a press release I got today, datelined NYC, “now in pre-production.”

“Uwe Boll, the prolific director and producer, is coming back after a 5 year hiatus, entering with his feature film ‘FIRST SHIFT.’ The crime drama follows an NYC police officer and his rookie partner Angela as they experience a 12-hour shift on the streets of New York City. Tapped to star in lead roles are Gino Anthony Pesi (Shades of Blue, Ambitions) as Deo Russo and Kristen Renton (Sons of Anarchy, Days of Our Lives) as Officer Angela Dutton. Additional cast includes Onye Eme-Akwari (Outer Banks), Willie C. Carpenter (Men in Black), Garry Pastore (THE IRISHMAN), and Cate Bottiglione (Law & Order: Organized Crime). FIRST SHIFT is currently in pre-production, with filming beginning this Spring in New York. 

FIRST SHIFT is a gripping tale that captures the essence of life as a cop in one of America’s busiest cities. From the mundane to the dangerous, viewers will experience an intense day in the life of law enforcement officers”

Knowing Uwe Boll, having reviewed many an atrocity with his name on it, having taken his name in vain MANY times since her mercifully disappeared from the scene, and noting the “pre-production” stage of this project, I responded the only way a sentient cinephile should.

“Does that mean it’s not too late to stop this?”

The meaner response would be “Are you taking stock of your life and career, and wondering how you wound up plugging the disasters of the Ed Wood of Our Age?”