Netflixable? Square Poles are tested in romance –“Squared Love All Over Again”

If ever a rom-com didn’t merit, warrant or need a sequel, it was the thin gruel that was “Squared Love,” a Polish comedy about a vapid influencer and reluctant viral sensation/schoolteacher finding love.

But here we are, back to square one with “Squared Love All Over Again.” I guess “Can the handsome, shallow womanizer stay in love with the popular, famous yet down-to-Earth teacher?” is a question Warsaw wanted answered.

The sequel sees Monika (Adrianna Chlebicka) return from a long vacation with model/brand ambassador/influencer Enzo (Mateusz Banasiuk) to discover that her “naked buttocks” and other billboards and magazine covers have made her a national sensation, wanted for all sorts of gigs that don’t involve teaching.

Enzo? As he slept his way to fame and a sweet gig, his boss has fired him and made “destroying” Enzo her mission in life. He’s back to being plain old handsome but “blackballed” “Stefan” in a flash.

Monika is lured into co-hosting a kiddie TV talent show with an oily and embattled TV host (Mikołaj Roznersk). She stands up for the kids, who are taunted by the “celebrity judges,” and copes with a slow-but-steady come-on from Rafal.

Stefan is lost, but he falls in with Monika’s lonely, widowed car-restorer dad (Miroslaw Baka), who figures his own solitude and Stefan’s aimlessness have the same solution.

“It’s never too late to start something new,” he advises, in Polish with subtitles, or dubbed into English.

Dad gets a sexy, irate-customer as possible love interest (Monika Krzywkowska). Monika copes with her attention-whore school headmaster (Tomasz Karolak) and Stefan fumbles about for something he’s qualified to do, maybe something with classic Fiats, Lancers, Audis, etc.

“Squared All Over Again” is so mild-mannered that even the sources of conflict are rendered in shades of beige. And even if the script had called for more heat, one suspects the pretty-but-bland cast wouldn’t be able to deliver it.

Rating: TV-14, adult themes

Cast: Adrianna Chlebicka, Mateusz Banasiuk, Mikołaj Roznerski, Monika Krzywkowska

Credits: Directed by Filip Zylber, scripted by Wiktor Piątkowski, Natalia Matuszek A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:40


About Roger Moore

Movie Critic, formerly with McClatchy-Tribune News Service, Orlando Sentinel, published in Spin Magazine, The World and now published here, Orlando Magazine, Autoweek Magazine
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