Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson, Michael Pena, Donald Sutherland, the world’s ending and “Don’t Look Up” is no laughing matter to Mr. “2012” and “Independence Day,” Roland Emmerich.
The wrestling empire that is WWE dives even deeper into movies with “Rumble,” an animated film that they made through Paramount Animation, and had slated for theatrical release earlier this year.
“Rumble,” based on a graphic novel about a world where towering, monstrous kaiju wrestlers fight for “the Big Belt,” makes its way to audiences via Paramount+ instead.
It’s a good-looking, mindless romp aimed at the children of all ages who watch professional wrestling. Formulaic and silly, it might not be reason one to subscribe to the Kevin Costner network. But there are a couple of laughs and lots of utterly ridiculous “action” in the octagon where the Big Boys play.
“Are you ready to go out there and look RIDICULOUS tonight?” our coach asks our hero at one point.Yes. Yes he is. Why? Because “We do not CARE!”
That’s the stance Rayburn Jr. (Will Arnett voices him) has to take when the career-loser, son of a wrestling legend, is recruited by the daughter of his late father’s coach, Winnie (Geraldine Viswanathan), to get serious about the sport by learning to “dance” in the ring.
Winnie the coach’s big idea is to toss in paso dobles, pirouettes and the odd pas de deux with all the piledrivers and suplexes that wrestlers live by, even the 40 foot tall versions.
Wrestling-crazed Stoker-on-Avon has never been the same since the famed Coach Jimbo and his star kaiju Rayburn disappeared years before. A new local champ emerges, but Tentacular (Terry Crews) wins the title and promptly announces he’s “taking my talents to Slitherpool,” to wrestle “for someplace that matters.”
Stoker will lose its stadium unless Winnie can find somebody and train him to be the champ who saves their rep and the stadium that bears her dad’s name. That “somebody” turns out to be her dad’s most famous wrestler’s son.
Rayburn and Winnie have to bond and come up with tactics that will transform a career loser into a phenom and do it all before their beloved stadium becomes a parking lot.
Whatever the Rob Harrell graphic novel has going for it, this script envisions an entire world that revolves around wrestling, with fanatical fans taking on all the rituals and body paint tributes of hockey and football fans.
The cleverest touch? Having the matches called by the insufferable Mark Remy, voiced by the insufferable Stephen A. Smith of ESPN. Dancing in the ring?
“This is HARDLY wrestling. Y’all know that, right?” The character complains and complains, until our hero starts winning. Then he changes his tune, just like Stephen A.
“I’m not sayin’ I’m wrong.‘ Because I’m never wrong. But…”
Jimmy Tatro voices the monster who is color commentator for the matches. And who introduces the combatants in the ring? Michael “Let’s get rrrrready to RRRRRumble” Buffer, of course.
Arnett and Crews, two very funny guys, don’t pay off as funny characters because the script doesn’t have many jokes that land. Tentacular has just won the Big Belt. What’ll he do?
“I’m going to an unnamed theme bar!”
Kids may get into the “action,” but for me there was one sight gag and one sight gag only that pays off. One of the beasts eyes the Prop that Made Wrestling What It Is Today — a folding chair. Great! It’ll turn the tide of the match. Unless of course he’s miscalculated the impact of something that small on wrestlers this large.
Aside from that, and the “get knocked-down, get back up again” messaging, there’s nothing to “Rumble.” Hard to see it as ever being a theatrical release contender.
Rating: PG, slapstick, innuendo
Cast: The voices of Will Arnett, Geraldine Viswanathan, Terry Cruz, Jimmy Tatro, Ben Schwartz, Tony Danza, Fred Melamud and Stephen A. Smith.
Credits: Directed by Hamish Grieve, scripted by Hamish Grieve, Matt Lieberman and Alexandra Bracken, based on a graphic novel by Rob Harrell. A Paramount+ release.
This is an altogether more interesting list than the half-hearted Golden Globes glob dumped earlier this AM.
Lots of love for “Licorice Pizza,” “Belfast,” “CODA…”
But I have to say, honoring out a somewhat hamhanded turn by Lady Gaga and more or less ignoring the rest of “House of Gucci” is simply falling for hype. She’s over the top, and not any better than anybody else in it. And nobody is talking up Pacino or Driver, with good cause. Jared Leto also earned a nomination. You couldn’t even tell it was him, bit that wasn’t a subtle turn https://www.salon.com/2021/12/13/little-known-donor-helped-fund-capitol-riots-is-now-facing-probe_partner/ either.
No Ridley Scott nomination for either “Gucci” or “Last Duel?” Oh well.
The Critics Choice Awards are handed out by what started life as the Broadcast Film Critics Association.
Take a look.
BEST PICTURE
Belfast
CODA
Don’t Look Up
Dune
King Richard
Licorice Pizza
Nightmare Alley
The Power of the Dog
tick, tick…Boom!
West Side Story
BEST ACTOR
Nicolas Cage – Pig
Benedict Cumberbatch – The Power of the Dog
Peter Dinklage – Cyrano
Andrew Garfield – tick, tick…Boom!
Will Smith – King Richard
Denzel Washington – The Tragedy of Macbeth
BEST ACTRESS
Jessica Chastain – The Eyes of Tammy Faye
Olivia Colman – The Lost Daughter
Lady Gaga – House of Gucci
Alana Haim – Licorice Pizza
Nicole Kidman – Being the Ricardos
Kristen Stewart – Spencer
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Jamie Dornan – Belfast
Ciarán Hinds – Belfast
Troy Kotsur – CODA
Jared Leto – House of Gucci
J.K. Simmons – Being the Ricardos
Kodi Smit-McPhee – The Power of the Dog
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Caitríona Balfe – Belfast
Ariana DeBose – West Side Story
Ann Dowd – Mass
Kirsten Dunst – The Power of the Dog
Aunjanue Ellis – King Richard
Rita Moreno – West Side Story
BEST YOUNG ACTOR/ACTRESS
Jude Hill – Belfast
Cooper Hoffman – Licorice Pizza
Emilia Jones – CODA
Woody Norman – C’mon C’mon
Saniyya Sidney – King Richard
Rachel Zegler – West Side Story
BEST ACTING ENSEMBLE
Belfast
Don’t Look Up
The Harder They Fall
Licorice Pizza
The Power of the Dog
West Side Story
BEST DIRECTOR
Paul Thomas Anderson – Licorice Pizza
Kenneth Branagh – Belfast
Jane Campion – The Power of the Dog
Guillermo del Toro – Nightmare Alley
Steven Spielberg – West Side Story
Denis Villeneuve – Dune
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Paul Thomas Anderson – Licorice Pizza
Zach Baylin – King Richard
Kenneth Branagh – Belfast
Adam McKay, David Sirota – Don’t Look Up
Aaron Sorkin – Being the Ricardos
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Jane Campion – The Power of the Dog
Maggie Gyllenhaal – The Lost Daughter
Siân Heder – CODA
Tony Kushner – West Side Story
Jon Spaihts, Denis Villeneuve, Eric Roth – Dune
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Bruno Delbonnel – The Tragedy of Macbeth
Greig Fraser – Dune
Janusz Kaminski – West Side Story
Dan Laustsen – Nightmare Alley
Ari Wegner – The Power of the Dog
Haris Zambarloukos – Belfast
BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
Jim Clay, Claire Nia Richards – Belfast
Tamara Deverell, Shane Vieau – Nightmare Alley
Adam Stockhausen, Rena DeAngelo – The French Dispatch
Adam Stockhausen, Rena DeAngelo – West Side Story
Patrice Vermette, Zsuzsanna Sipos – Dune
BEST EDITING
Sarah Broshar and Michael Kahn – West Side Story
Úna Ní Dhonghaíle – Belfast
Andy Jurgensen – Licorice Pizza
Peter Sciberras – The Power of the Dog
Joe Walker – Dune
BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Jenny Beavan – Cruella
Luis Sequeira – Nightmare Alley
Paul Tazewell – West Side Story
Jacqueline West, Robert Morgan – Dune
Janty Yates – House of Gucci
BEST HAIR AND MAKEUP
Cruella
Dune
The Eyes of Tammy Faye
House of Gucci
Nightmare Alley
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
Dune
The Matrix Resurrections
Nightmare Alley
No Time to Die
Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
BEST COMEDY
Barb & Star Go to Vista Del Mar
Don’t Look Up
Free Guy
The French Dispatch
Licorice Pizza
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
Encanto
Flee
Luca
The Mitchells vs the Machines
Raya and the Last Dragon
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
A Hero
Drive My Car
Flee
The Hand of God
The Worst Person in the World
BEST SONG
Be Alive – King Richard
Dos Oruguitas – Encanto
Guns Go Bang – The Harder They Fall
Just Look Up – Don’t Look Up
No Time to Die – No Time to Die
BEST SCORE
Nicholas Britell – Don’t Look Up
Jonny Greenwood – The Power of the Dog
Jonny Greenwood – Spencer
Nathan Johnson – Nightmare Alley
Hans Zimmer – Dune
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MovieNation, spreading cinema throughout the land, one DVD, one poorly framed pic and one small town or city library at a time.
This year, I’ve donated DVDs to libraries in West Va., Va., NC, SC, Ga. and scattered corners of Florida, bringing subtitles to the masses is my motto, Johnny Appleseed style. Call me “Roger DVDseed,”copyright pending. A dozen libraries, maybe 40 DVDs in all. Let’s hope the good folks of Polk read my review before passing this one by. Judging from the sheriff here, a little culture wouldn’t hurt.
Well, this is an unexpected pleasure, an Oz-wise kids’ comedy with wit, slang and a little edge.
“Back to the Outback” is an Australian “Madagascar,” an “escape from the zoo” comedy that leans into the continent/country’s reputation for having more wildlife than can kill or maim you that any place else on Earth.
It also isn’t shy about sending up the locals, the humans who labeled the assorted snakes, great whites, spiders, and crocs “monsters,” and got a lot of tourist and TV show mileage out of it.
Somewhere, Steve Irwin is blushing, and having a laugh.
The critters live in the Australian Wildlife Park just across the bay from the Sydney Opera House. The star of the park is the cuddly koala, Pretty Boy, most adorbs of the adorable kangaroos and quolls, bilbies and quokkas. He even has his own web cam.
But the big draws are the “monsters” from the “Danger House,” with Jackie the croc entertaining the paying guests by scaring them and making mean with trainer/handler and all around butch boy Chazz Hunt (Eric Bana). He’s teaching his son the ropes, and those ropes are used to lasso critters and keep them in line.
Jackie (voiced by Jacki Weaver) is the old timer of the Danger House. She regales the lizards, scorpion Nigel (Angus Imrie) and funnel web spider Frank (Guy Pearce) with tales of the “Outback,” from whence they all came.
Medusa, or “Maddie” (Isla Fisher), the Taipan snake, the “most deadly” venomous snake on Earth, was raised by Chazz and makes her debut in a show, but finds herself shocked when people recoil from her thanks to Chazz’s hype and rough treatment. Maddie is heartbroken. And hearing about the Outback, her “home” that she never knew, is cold-blooded comfort.
One day things get out of hand with the croc show and Jackie is trapped and shipped off. That’s Maddie’s final straw. She’s leaving. Nigel, Frank and the thorny devil lizard Zoe (Miranda Tapsell) join her.
And naturally, events conspire to force them to take that pampered, narcissistic koala, Pretty Boy (Tim Minchin) along. Not that he wants to go.
They have to make their way across the bay — helped by a Great White — learn about “U.S.S.” the “ugliest secret society” of scorned creatures, who might help them, keep Pretty Boy in line and find their way to the Blue Mountains which all of them once called home.
The quest narrative is as old as the hills, but that’s how they encounter helpful spiders, bullfrogs (Keith Urban), a wild boar (Kylie Minogue) and others who help them along.
The humans are almost to a one louts and tough-guy posers. Chazz has to impress little Chazzie, his boy, with his fearlessness, exploits and his perfect grasp of Oz slang.
“Stone the crows” to “crikey” to “I once captured 10 Komodo dragons with no more than a pair of budgie smugglers and a bit of Vegemite.” I’d quote more, but “Let’s not spit the dummy, son.”
No idea what’s he’s talking about there.
The movie is not all that original, but never less than cute, with “Invisalign” and “conditioner” cracks coming from the pampered koala, Fisher singing the others to sleep and humans, save for one little Aboriginal girl, hilariously frightened by them and hellbent on killing or trapping them.
There’s even a moment when two bars are emptied out with bikers and martini drinkers pitching in on the hunt. Drinking and driving in out Mad Max bikes and Utes! Waltzing Matilda without the song!
It’s formulaic, but good clean fun. And it’s a fair dinkum way for the kiddos to learn Oz wildlife and Oz slang in a cartoon.
Rating: TV-G
Cast: The voices of Isla Fisher, Jacki Weaver, Eric Bana, Tim Minchin, Guy Pearce, Rachel House, Kylie Minogue and Keith Urban.
Credits: Directed by Harry Cripps and Claire Knight, scripted by Harry Cripps and Gregory Lessans. A Netflix release.
A hint of Massachusetts in this Long Island period piece? “Tenduh Bah” is the proper title of the Amazon release, opening Friday.
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Time-proven people-in-peril horror formulas cross borders and cultures. That’s true in “Roh,” a somewhat effective tale of terror set in the forests of Malaysia.
That’s where a mother (Farah Ahmad), her tween daughter (Mhia Farhana) and younger son (Harith Haziq) find themselves menaced by “omens,” sinister forces in play in their corner of the middle of nowhere.
We’ve seen a feral child (Putri Qaseh) digging up a fresh grave in the dark of night, a Burning Bush her only light.
Mother Mak has no hope of her husband returning, and has only her children to rely on out there. But when they see a slain deer hanging from a tree, they have an idea something’s up. There’s an evil “old people talk about” around here, a creature that targets deer and small children.
Sounds like she’s making that up to keep them safe. But she warns them to beware of anything they see in the forest.
And we’ve already seen this solitary hunter (Namron) stalking about, searching for something. Now would be the perfect time for this mute, filthy wild child to pay them a visit. They feed her and try to figure out her story.
It’s only after she’s killed and eaten a chicken, raw, that she blurts out an answer.
“When the moon is full, all of you will die,” she says (in Malay with English subtitles).
Perhaps the woman (June Lolong) from the village across the river can help. Because once you’ve seen an unwashed urchin devour a bloody chicken and heard her deliver an ominous warning before slitting her own throat, you’re pretty sure this isn’t something you can handle alone.
Writer-director Emir Ezwan, working from a story he and one of his stars (and a producer) conjured up, renders this tale in slow, deliberate strokes.
It’s more chilling than frightening, and just cryptic enough about what’s really happened and what is really happening to keep the viewer engaged.
And even if his film isn’t a non-stop downward spiral into terror, the shocks are genuine and the violence grisly, personal and demonic.
Rating: Unrated, graphic violence
Cast: Farah Ahmad, Mhia Farhana, Harith Haziq, June Lojong, Putri Qaseh and Namron.
Credits:Scripted and directed by Emir Ezwan. A Film Movement+ release.
It’s a 63 year-old stage musical widely regarded as a classic, and 60 year-old movie beloved by generations, also considered a classic and on TV almost constantly.
So who thought giving Steven Spielberg a lot of money and a coveted December/holidays release spot was a sure thing? Aside from Spielberg?
His no-big-stars-in-it “West Side Story” opened to some ecstatic reviews, but mostly respectful ones, and managed just over $10.5 million on its opening weekend. It only earned $4 million and change overseas.
There’s a lot of kvetching over exactly why this didn’t blow up, or why the Sondheim/Bernstein classic didn’t at least out perform the lesser efforts of Lin-Manuel Miranda and others, the recent run of musicals that either featured the “Hamilton” creator in the cast (“Mary Poppins”), behind the camera (“Tick…tick…BOOM!”) or in charge of the whole shebang (“In the Heights”).
Yes, it’s Latin-flavored in a big way, and that audience didn’t show for “In the Heights.” There’s a big difference between the Puerto Rican, Mexican, Cuban, Dominican and Panamanian audiences, Hollywood is occasionally reminded.
Unless you’re referring to “Fast and Furious” movies, those cultures don’t collide at the cinema watching musicals.
“No stars” seems to be the biggest hangup. I was chatting with a fellow critic over the box office bomb this was shaping up to be (an $800k Thursday night opening told the story), and wondering if this would have played even as a Disney/ABC “blockbuster TV event.”
Spielberg went for reality, when musicals should never take that approach too far (“La La Land” got away with it, somewhat). He chose a “Hamilton” star to play the breakout character Anita, and got Ansel Elgort and a total unknown to play Tony and Maria.
The result is a movie that played well…in New York.
Why would 20th Century (pre-Disney) studios give Spielberg the money to make this? Well, there’s a reason 20th Century Fox was a perpetual also-ran, outside of the occasional Big Deal (“Star Wars,””Last of the Mohicans,” etc). Their big gambles were traditionally long shots that landed as wrong shots.
Why would Spielberg think this was a good idea? “Ego,” my critic pal noted. Seems about right.
All Spielberg accomplished here was making another good-not-great film on a resume wholly filled with big ticket studio projects. He’s spent his entire career trying to be “the new Orson Welles,” a boy wonder who exploded in the scene (lying about his age to appear younger than Welles), and made plenty of blockbusters and a handful of classics working in the studio system, which Welles rarely could.
All I thought when watching the impressive “West Side Story” was how Robert Wise’s 60 year-old film was just as impressive, without drones, lightweight digital cameras and modern tech. Wise (“Sound of Music,””Star Trek: The Motion Picture”) didn’t have Spielberg’s gifts or canon. But Spielberg is a lot closer to “The New Robert Wise” than he is “The Next Orson Welles.” This “West Side Story” had plenty of emotion in select moments, but felt flat with a lot of scenes that didn’t pay off as well as they did way back when.
I still think “West Side Story” will have legs throughout the holidays. But with no Hugh Jackman/Zach Efron and Zendaya, no “radio friendly” new tunes, it’s not going to “Greatest Showman” its way into the black.
STX’s “National Champions” was savvy programming for the end of the “regular” college football season, a decent enough take on the “student athletes deserve to be paid” debate set against the National Championship game in New Orleans. But the movie only really “played” in the football-mad South, where the idea of paying athletes runs up against institutional and cultural racism. So it didn’t do all that well there, either. It didn’t even sell $1 million in tickets, with just over $300k on well over 1000 screens.
The limited Amazon release “Being the Riccardos” did better on 400 screens, over $400K. That isn’t a dazzling per-screen average either. Folks will watch that Oscar bait on Amazon Prime instead.
Yes, there’s still a pandemic going on, but “Spider-Man” is about to remove that excuse from any of the second-guessing surrounding “West Side Story” and the under-performers of fall. COVID or not, that could clear $100 million on its opening weekend alone.
“Encanto” rounded up another $9.4 million (over $70 so far), “Ghostbusters Afterlife” continues to sell even as it falls off to $7 for the weekend (It’s already over $111 million overall), “House of Gucci” did another $4 million and change — it’s over $40, respectable, and it could get some awards season help.
“Eternals,” the worst-reviewed Marvel movie of them all, finishes its run just over $160.
Movie Nation 