Netflixable? Lebanese couple hit “The Road” from noisy Beirut

“The Road” is one of the most evocative two word titles in all of cinema.

It brings up memories of Fellini’s Italian road picture, “La Strada,” the romance of “Two for the Road,” the adaptation of Kerouac’s “On the Road,” even the post-apocalyptic science fiction of Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road.”

You don’t “own” that title, just just borrow it. Rana Salem trots it out for her debut feature film, a largely dialogue-free Lebanese drama about a Beirut couple who soak up the noise, the life and “the scene” in the capital city, and then throw a few things in the truck and hit the highway.

He (Guy Chartouni) is an urban farmer who grows vegetables and raises chickens on land on the outskirts of the city. By night, he’s a performance artist/DJ, putting on laser and light and animation shows for the cognoscenti.

His beard doesn’t give him away, but the tattoos and earrings do. He’s something of a hipster.

She (writer-director Salem) just quit her job and seems a little lost, a trifle overwhelmed and a bit subservient to his ideas, ambitions and whims. He’s the one who puts them on the road.

Salem’s film gives us a taste of the lovely Lebanese countryside, and the grumpy, outsider-resenting locals.

“The Road” is meant to be nostalgic, letting these two reminisce about past trips, perhaps lives left behind. But it doesn’t amount to much of anything. One night of passion, one snippy confrontation, one ugly incident, and on they drive.

There is no story arc or character arc, just a lot of scenes conveying a simplistic narrative with pictures, a film that doesn’t hold one’s interest for more than a third of Salem’s indulgent 96 minute first (it came out in 2015) and thus far only movie.

Rating: unrated, violence, sex, smoking

Cast: Guy Chartouni and Rana Salem.

Credits: Scripted and directed by Rana Salem. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:36

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Movie Preview: Ian Niles master the art of fibbing — “Lie Hard”

August 16, the hustle hits. Could be funny.

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Movie Preview: A feminist musical story of hip hop in Islamic, French Speaking Morocco– “Casablanca Beats”

If hip hop breaks big among women in the Muslim world, look out.

Look for this Kino Lorber release Sept. 16.

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Movie Preview: The scary little girl isn’t “The Harbinger,” but she recognizes him on sight

Sept. 2.

Beware of tiny mean girls.

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Netflixable? Get yourself registered, it’s “Wedding Season,” y’all!

A romantic comedy with “Wedding Season” as its title kind of gives away the game.

There are going to be weddings — maybe “Wedding Crashers” weddings, perhaps “27 Dresses” weddings. Since it’s rated TV-PG and more Indian than Indian American, you can guess which end of the spectrum it skews to.

There’ll be a cute couple who “meet cute” and of course meet testy, because where’s the fun if they’re “destined to be” if it’s too obvious they’re destined to be? You can’t set off sparks without a little friction, right?

But the thing about rom-coms that work isn’t just that they get you in ways you expect. They sneak up on you with a surprise turnabout, little dollops of heart that hit you like a wet slap.”Wedding Season” catches you coming and going.

It’s an Indian American diaspora comedy with the usual nagging, badgering “Why aren’t you MARRIED?” mothers, Americanized “just living my life/get off my back” offspring, with a dash of culture clash and a tiny serving of the “biggest gossip in Little India” bitchiness.

It’s just adorable.

Asha, played by Pallavi Sharda, is a 30ish economist working with an Asian microloan investment fund, a workaholic in a workplace that could not be more diverse.

But her relentless and irritating mother (Veena Sood) is hellbent on marrying her off. She’s wearing out the DesiDream dating website, a place where interfering parents can throw up idealized profiles of their Indian children so that they can attract a proper Indian mate.

Yes, it’s a tradition that smacks of patriarchal/matriarchal “control” with a hint of enthocentrism. But mother Suneeta has already got one daughter (Arianna Asfar) about to marry a whiter-than-white doctor (Sean Kleier). With Asha having having blown up her engagement to “New Jersey’s most eligible brown bachelor,” and having no interest in pursuing another, what’s a mother to do?

Somebody wrote Ravi’s (Suraj Sharma) online profile as well — “spelling bee champ” and”
MIT” and “start-up” are all Suneeta needs to see.

It takes pressure just short of threats to get Asha to meet Ravi for a date. That empty place setting at the family Sunday dinner table?

“This plate is for the husband who should be here!”

But the “nerd” profiled online turns out to be laid back, over 30 and able to give as good as he gets in the cutting banter dept. Still, she’s not interested and Ravi simply walks away.

It’s just that they travel in the same socio-ethnic circles. There are a LOT of weddings coming up. And at one of them, they hear “We promise not to give up on you until we’re sure you’re HAPPY” and married one too many times. Asha armtwists Ravi into being her fake date for the season.

“I’ll just tell them we broke up at the next wedding” becomes an arrangement, and even though she keeps bringing her work laptop to each of the 14 weddings they’re both attending, “arrangements” have a way of becoming something more romantic once the “getting to know you” gets underway.

Sharda, an Indo-Australian actress (“Lion”) sparkles and gives us a hint of (respectful) spitfire in her performance. She makes Asha’s offhanded ABCD complaint while trying to don a sari — “How do half a billion women WEAR these things?” — the film’s lightest laugh.

Sharma, of “Umrika” (STREAM that one!), affects the breezy air of someone more troubled by what Ravi knows he isn’t telling Asha than any brushoff she tosses his way.

The reluctant couple charms, and the supporting players deliver cute laughs hither and yon — the gossipy “aunties” and other older folks complaining about this or that “rascal,” the white boy brother-in-law-to-be who keeps flailing away at Indian cultural appropriation.

“Keep calm and curry on!”

It’s a slight comedy, delicate as kheer with nothing remotely weighty about it. The biggest surprise about that might be the light touch veteran director Tom Dey brings to Shiwani Srivastava’s sweet and simple script. “Wedding Season” is her first produced screenplay. And there was something about its patience, pace and just-edgy-enough sweetness that made a filmmaker 16 years removed from “Failure to Launch” remember how it’s done and how it’s done right.

Rating: TV-PG

Cast: Pallavi Sharda, Suraj Sharma, Veena Sood, Arianna Afsar, Rizwan Manji, Damian Thompson and Sean Kleier.

Credits: Directed by Tom Dey, scripted by Shiwani Srivastava. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:39

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Movie Preview: Colin and Brendan, together again in Martin McDonagh’s “The Banshees of Inisherin”

The “In Bruges” team in front of and behind the camera, Ireland’s finest, take us into a very personal feud in an Ireland of the recent past.

Funny, with a nasty edge, as you’d expect from the director of “Three Billboards” and “In Bruges.”

This Searchlight release is headed our way in October, and being a Gleeson, Farrell and McDonaugh fan, I can hardly wait.

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Movie Review: Jo Koy is a Filipino Comic who makes peace in his family on “Easter Sunday”

“Easter Sunday” is a sentimental, lighthearted star-vehicle built around Filipino American comic Jo Koy.

With Koy playing a stand-up comic trying to mollify his Filipino-American (Catholic) family and cope with their foibles, it’s a cute, occasionally amusing, no-heavy-lifting-required peek into another culture as seen through a comedian’s eyes.

It’s strikingly similar to the recent indie comedy “The Fabulous Filipino Brothers,” covering some of the same Filipino work ethic, values and comic blind spots (endless Manny Pacquiao jokes). Letting Koy “play” a comic just makes this “The Hollywood Version” of “My Crazy Filipino American Family.”

Koy is Jo Valencia here, a stand-up whose peak moment might have been a series of Bud Zero commercials. He even had a catch phrase, “Let’s get this paaaarty STARTED!”

How original.

Jo’s 40something, divorced, and still chasing every standup’s dream, getting a “pilot” for a TV series. He’s auditioned for one in which he’s to be the colorful neighbor/pal and he’s “this close” to landing it, according to his ever-distracted agent (“Super Troopers” actor and director Jay Chandrasekhar, hilarious in every scene). But Jo won’t buy the “Accents are funny, funny is money, DO the accent” thing to land the role.

That’s hanging over his head as he grabs his teen son (Brandon Wardell) to drive up to Daly City, part of Greater San Francisco and a veritable Little Manila of Filipino-Americans. That’s where his mother (Lydia Gaston) and the aunt she’s feuding with (Tia Carrare) are throwing the big family Easter celebration.

A weekend of church and catching up with relatives is the order of business — assorted aunts and uncles (Joey Guila, Rodney To) and the dopey cousin Eugene (Eugene Cordero) Jo gave a lot of money to start a taco truck business with, who has instead decided a “HYPE truck” (assorted fashion accessories) is the way to go.

Jo’ll bond with the son he’s always too busy for, the kid he constantly interrupts with “I’ve got to take this” call. Unless, of course, he has to fly back to LA mid-meal just to “salvage” the pilot.

The added stress of Mom and Tita Teresa’s feud, some shady stuff Eugene has gotten into, being called on to take over the sermon in church thanks to a loud whisper/argument with Eugene and trying to help his shy kid charm a cute girl (Eva Noblezada) should make things…interesting, in the “A I having a stroke?” sort of way.

Koy’s stand-out moments are that sermon he takes over and turns into a stand-up act, and assorted antic exchanges with a low-rent low-altitude mobster (Asif Ali, over the top) and a cop who happens to have been an ex.

She’s played by Tiffany Haddish, and she knocks her two scenes right out of the park, as can be expected.

Chandrasekhar might be playing a weary Hollywood “type,” the agent always “going into a tunnel, losing you” and hanging up. But he’s so good at it that he puts on a clinic in comic timing.

The script’s low-hanging-fruit laughs and trite Hollywood choice to have Koy play a struggling comic gives the film the feel of a sitcom pilot. He’s forced to be the reactor, and while’s OK, the few stand-up bits here are lame enough (aside from the “sermon”) to make you wonder how he ever landed this star vehicle in the first place.

The more working class, “scruffy” “Fabulous Filipino Brothers” did a FAR better job of immersing us in the culture and — this is important in culture clash comedies like this — the CUISINE. We see a lot of food in “Easter Sunday,” and pretty much no prep. What’re they eating? How’s it prepared? What role does that food play in the culture and its Easter traditions?

The chuckles and occasional flashes of charm make “Easter Sunday” a perfectly watchable if generally underwhelming comedy. But hey, maybe this sitcom pilot will be picked up after all, with or without the funny accent.

Rating: PG-13, threats of violence, profanity

Cast: Jo Koy, Tia Carrere, Lydia Gaston, Brandon Wardell, Eugene Cordero, Eva Noblezada, Jimmy O. Yang, Carly Pope, Jay Chandrasekhar and Tiffany Haddish.

Credits: Directed by Jay Chandrasekhar, scripted by Kate Angelo and Ken Chang. A Universal release.

Running time: 1:36

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Movie Review: Norwegians and a Dane behaving ineptly — “Wild Men (Vildmænd)”

“Wild Men” is a deliciously deadpan Scandinavian farce about the crisis in masculinity, skewering poseurs, shortcut-taking criminals and lazy, incompetent cops in a slow-walking pursuit thriller that really isn’t about the thrills.

Every decision a man makes in it seems idiotic, stupid or not wholly-thought-out and wrong. That’s what it’s about.

Danish filmmaker Thomas Daneskov wraps a goofy spoof of delusional Men’s Movement ideas in a tale of smugglers and cops colliding with a primitive, off-the-grid Viking lifestyle. Sometimes dark and often hilarious, it’s a comedy well worth the subtitles.

A burly, fur-covered mountain man (Rasmus Bjerg) stalks a mountain goat with his bow but fails to kill it. So he stalks a frog instead, feasting by the fire and paying the abdominal price for it later. It’s only when this Neolithic Nordic hunter stumbles across the empty candy wrapper that the game is up.

He’s off to the Shell convenience store to load up on groceries, smokes, maybe some beer.

“I forgot my wallet,” he whines, which tells the clerk he’s Danish and us that the movie’s set in Norway. “We need to work something out.”

No cash? No Spam and potato chips, chief. That’s the rule. Our Great Hunter can’t be blamed for the scuffle that breaks out, or how it ends. He’s hungry, loads up a basket and flees into the mountains.

That’s when we see his modern tent, his iPhone and the way he cooks beans in the can over the fire. And that’s where the injured smuggler with the backpack (Zaki Youssef) stumbles into him, a guy with a bloody gash that Martin, as our homeless “for about ten days now” hunter is called, offers to “stitch up.”

Musa was traveling with two mistrustful companions when they ran into an elk. He left them for dead and staggered into the woods, and he too notices Martin’s Danishness, that he’s adeptly sewing his leg up but with the filthiest hands Musa’s ever seen.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t get infected,” the jovial Dane reassures him.

The gas station robbery draws the interest of the seriously unmotivated local police. Old Øyvind (Bjørn Sundquist) seems more interested in scoring a free “French hotdog” than taking the clerk’s statement. And talking his two subordinates into tracking this “Viking” into the woods is a hard-sell.

“I have to pick up the kids. My wife’s made a roast. Can’t this wait until tomorrow? There’s more to life than WORK!”

“Protect and serve” is just as much of a myth in Norway as anywhere else.

Meanwhile, Martin’s dodging calls from his wife, who thinks he’s on a “team building retreat,” and unloading his reasons for abandoning his family and society to Musa. “I never need to open a mailbox or computer again.”

And a quarreling couple, whose pregnant wife is chewing out her husband’s lack of “altruism” stops to pick up hitchhikers — at the husband’s “Here’s your altruism” insistence — only to be carjacked by the survivors of Musa’s crash.

Director and co-writer Daneskov (“The Elites”) follows three, sometimes four threads and points-of-view in this slow and patient comedy. Everything and everyone points towards a coastal village where Musa and his mistrusting mates need to catch a ferry and Martin just might find his “tribe.” There’s an encampment of Viking reenactors living as “off the grid” as Martin, or so Musa promises him, if he’ll just get them there.

The Danish director knew that if he was mocking Norwegian cops and poking at anti “immigrant” prejudice he’d best make the biggest idiot here a Dane.

Bjerg’s Martin is beautifully befuddled and insecure. He’s pompously pure in his mid-life crisis “natural man” dream, incompetently delusional about that and downright judgmental when he discovers that the Guddalen Viking village takes Visa or American Express.

Youssef’s Musa is the audience’s surrogate here, puzzled at why anybody would want to live a primitive life as hard as that and impatient with the plainly racist (they pay him no mind) Norwegian cosplayers, led by Viking poster-boy character actor Rune Temte (“Captain Marvel,” “The Last Kingdom”).

Sundquist, Wotan on Netflix’s “Ragnarok” TV series, brings a lovely world-weariness to his tiny town police chief performance. Øyvind’s every deflection and change-the-subject distraction can be taken as a funny Danish dig at Norwegians. He’s literally “too old for this s—” and barely lets himself get put-out over his subordinates’ unwillingness to do their jobs, and their ineptitude when they finally do get around to the hard and sometimes dangerous work.

Sofie Gråbøl plays Martin’s understanding but increasingly frazzled wife, dragging their two kids and their pet rabbit up to Norway to find the father and husband who’s “lost his mind” as he got lost in the mountains.

“Wild Men” is a comedy of slack-jawed chuckles and slow-burn laughs, a movie that immerses us in that “O’Horten,” “A Man Called Ove” Norwegian style of deadpan, here married to a story that isn’t afraid to go “In Order of Disappearance” dark.

It’s “toxic masculinity” made light enough for mockery. And it tickled me, first scene to last.

Rating: unrated, violence, smoking, profanity

Cast: Rasmus Bjerg, Zaki Youssef, Bjørn Sundquist, Sofie Gråbøl, Håkon T. Nielsen, Tommy Karlsen and Rune Temte.

Credits: Directed by Thomas Daneskov, scripted by Thomas Daneskov and Morten Pape. A Samuel Goldwyn release.

Running time:1:44

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Movie Preview: A ride share goes wrong at “Dawn” with Dawn

Jackie Moore has the title role, and this bad girl is on VOD now.

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Movie Preview: Thomas Jane, Emile Hirsch co star in a thriller about recently buried “treasure” — “Dig”

Hostages forced to tunnel into a demolition job, this one looks promising. Emile Hirsch with a drawl?

Sept. 23.

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