Movie Review: Wayans tries some “Paranormal Black-tivity” with “A Haunted House”

1starMarlon Wayans wrings every last down-and-dirty giggle out of a single joke in “A Haunted House,” his return to “Scary Movie” territory, in truth if not by contract.

He’s no longer involved in that series, so he limited himself to making fun not of every modern “scary” movie, but just the “Paranormal Activity” series. And for 85 rude and raunchy minutes, he does his best to drive a comical stake through the heart of horror’s hottest franchise and the “found footage” genre.

He doesn’t exactly succeed.

SmartAss - 1781.NEF

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Box Office: Can “Zero Dark Thirty” hold off “Gangster Squad” and “Haunted House”?

Three movies go into wide release today. One of them will win the weekend box office race. Will it be the Oscar buzzed/Oscar nominated “Zero Dark Thirty” or the moved-to-January-because-it-had-no-Oscar buzz “Gangster Squad”?

Here’s my review of “Zero Dark Thirty,” in case you missed it.

Are film fans OVER Marlon Wayans and his “Scary Movie” riffs on horror, or will “A Haunted House” fill his bank account anew?

How will “Django,” “Lincoln,” “Les Mis” and “Silver Linings Playbook” and “The Impossible” do with their extra Oscar oomph?

Box office Mojo figures “Zero Dark Thirty,” despite the long running time, lack of “name” stars and torture-centric nature, will own this weekend and earn $25 million or so, with “Gangster” following close behind.

That’s pretty generous, according to the Box Office Guru, who figures “Zero” will win the weekend with just $18 million in its first weekend of wide release. It’s done great business on just a hand full of screens over the past several weeks. Will those per-screen averages remain when it’s on thousands of screens?

“Gangster Squad” (my review of this Gangster Western is here) has a lot of advertising and a lot of stars. It should clear $20 million.

I usually split the difference between these two prognosticators — maybe “Gangster” and “Zero Dark” will pull in very low $20s — fight it out in the $21-22 range.

“A Haunted House,” which opened late Thursday (I was there — review is here), should do $12. “Django” will probably get an Oscar bump. Or not. Still mid teens. “Texas Chainsaw,” the “massacre” deleted to remove connections to Sandy Hook, will fall off dramatically. Way below $10 this weekend.

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Movie Review: “The Future”

Miranda July takes “twee” about as far as she can, and then some, with “The Future,” her latest, most melancholy romance. The director of “Me and You and Everyone We Know” transcends cute and crosses into precious with this film, an unhappy blend of magical realism, alternative futures and “Cats.”

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Movie Review: “Sucker Punch”

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Ever since “300,” Zack Snyder has been the darling of the Warner Bros. lot, left to try his hand at the most famous graphic novel adaptation of all (“Watchmen”) and even given a kids’ movie about talking warrior owls from Australia. And they’ve anointed him the savior of the “Superman” franchise.

But with “Sucker Punch” Warners gave him enough rope to hang himself with. This is the most epic miscalculation since the Golden Summer of M. Night Shyamalan. An unerotic unthrilling erotic thriller in the video game/comic book crossover vein, “Sucker Punch” is ” “Last Airbender” with bustiers.

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Movie Review: “Incendies”

The Oscar-nominated French Canadian drama “Incendies” takes us from Montreal to Lebanon as two 30ish siblings try to unravel the mystery of their mother’s life and flight from that country decades before.

Not that it identifies those locales right away. One of the maddening things about Denis Villeneuve’s film of Wajdi Mouawad’s melodramatic play is the stingy way it doles out simple geographic information like that. And when you’re building your story in geographic episodes, that’s too basic to skip over.

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Movie Review: “Winter in Wartime”

A boy on a black bicycle slushes by a long line of gray-clad soldiers, pedestrians and refugees on a snowy dike-top road.

It’s January of 1945, “Winter in Wartime,” and nobody has gasoline but the Germans, and the Germans are an occupying army on its last legs. The Dutch are hanging on and hanging back, hoping to keep their heads down long enough for the war to be over and the Nazis booted out.

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Movie Review: “13 Assassins”

Film buffs tend to forget, with the half century or more of hoopla surrounding “Seven Samurai” and “Yojimbo,” that samurai pictures were and remain the equivalent of Westerns in Japan — formula films with time-honored motifs, action beats and archetypes.

Takashi Miike (“One Missed Call”) remembers that. He’s done a lot of thrillers and horror movies. And his “13 Assassins” sums up much of his style in a blood-spattered “Seven Samurai” tribute, a remake of a 1963 genre film of the same title.

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Movie Review: “Thor”

“Thor,” the first summer comic book blockbuster out of the gate, has a lot of that winking wit we’ve come to expect from our post-’Spider  Man” Marvel movies. It has a hunky, self-mocking young star, solid support from a couple of Oscar winners and the slick sheen that state-of-the-art effects can give you.

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Movie Review: Jake and Vera shine in “Source Code”

A good science fiction movie will let you forget it’s sci-fi , focusing on characters, their humanity and their quest. It doesn’t matter if they’re hurtling through space or time or in what universe they’re inhabiting. If the movie gets to you, those genre trappings fall by the wayside.

That happens with “Source Code,” an adorably preposterous concept becomes far less important than the compelling journey these characters take and the sympathetic actors who insist, with their performances, that we come along for the ride.

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Movie Review: “Point Blank,” the best French thriller in decades

The French thriller “Point Blank” clocks in at just 84 minutes. And a leaner and meaner 84 minutes you are not likely to catch on a screen this year. Fred Cavaye’s film is a ticking clock tale with all the urgency a story about a man trying to save his pregnant and kidnapped wife can muster.

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