Movie Review: “Rapture Palooza,” Where’s Kirk Cameron when you need him?

1half-starIf you’re going to commit to a blasphemous stoner comedy mocking the New Testament prophesy of the coming Rapture, you’d better go all in. Because halfway isn’t funny. And either way, you’re going to Hell. At least in the eyes of some.
Thus, the failed deadpan comedy “Rapture-Palooza” pairs up a seriously unflappable Anna Kendrick and John Francis Daley as survivors on Earth, not taken by The Rapture, trying to fend off the amorous advances of The Anti-Christ played by Craig Robinson. And it isn’t as funny as it sounds.
Sure, taking the Bible literally (“Did anyone think this THROUGH?”) in regard to the Apocalypse can seem awfully silly in the age of computer generated effects. The righteous are “sucked up into heaven” in a flash — empty bowling shoes are all that’s Left Behind…in the bowling alley. Where’s Kirk Cameron to explain all this?
Thus are the poor sinners still on Earth — Lindsay (Kendrick), her Dad (John Michael Higgins, reaching and swearing for laughs), her Mom (Ana Gasteyer screaming “Why why WHY?”), a church-goer taken by the Rapture and then sent back for getting in a fight in heaven and Lindsay’s stoner brother (Calum Worthy) — left to cope with plagues of trash-talking locusts, foul-mouthed crows, rains of blood (“Gross!”), angelic wraiths who like the Weed and “fiery rocks from the sky,” all preparations for the return of Jesus on a white horse for the Day of Judgement.
The Anti-Christ is probably the only black politician in the history of Idaho, a guy who seizes power and proceeds to nuke cities that don’t fawn over him — London, Chicago, Orlando…
“NOT Orlando! Think of all those ride operators!”
The post-Rapture infrastructure imagined by New Zealand director Paul Middleditch has a Seattle that is still operating, despite the rains of brimstone — TV stations still broadcast, people still buy sandwiches because “People appreciate a good sandwich, even when the world is ending.” It’s just a lot less crowded.
The germ of a funny idea is here, and this ambitious picture drew a better cast than your average “Scary Movie” installment. But it is seriously slow, as if everybody involved had second thoughts pretty much every day they were on the job.
And if cast and crew are the praying sort — not likely — they’re feverishly hoping “Rapture Palooza” will disappear faster than a righteous bowler when The End is Here.
rapturepalooza_still
MPAA Rating:R for language including crude sexual references throughout, and for drug use
Cast: Anna Kendrick, Craig Robinson, John Francis Daley, Ana Gasteyer, Rob Corddry, Thomas Lennon
Credits: Directed by Paul Middleditch, written by Chris Matheson . A  Lionsgate release
Running time: 1:24
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Movie Review: “Love is All You Need”

ImageDirector Susanne Bier follows her Oscar winning “In a Better World,” about bullying in Denmark having kinship to the misdeeds of warlords in Africa, with a romance. Talk about stepping clear of your comfort zone.
The generally dramatic Bier (“Things We Lost in Fire”) gives a dark edge to the melodramatic comedy “Love Is All You Need.” From the opening strains of “That’s Amore,” forlournly played on a mandolin, it’s obvious that this will not be “Mamma Mia! II” set in sunny Italy.
Ida (Trine Dyrholm of “A Royal Affair” and “In a Better World”) is just out of her last blast of chemotherapy. She’s lost a breast and her hair. But this Copenhagen hairdresser’s nearly-clean bill of health is spoiled when she catches her husband with a younger woman. And she can’t toss a fit about it, because her daughter (Molly Blixt Egelind) is getting married in a rustic villa in the south of Italy.
Wouldn’t you know it, that workaholic, widowed businessman Phillip (Pierce Brosnan) she collided with at the airport parking deck is the father of the groom (Sebastian Jessen). He’s irked most of the time and this really sets him off. Naturally, they’re thrown together on the flight, and when they reach Italy, where her soon-to-be-ex shows up with his floozie, and the frosty, “I have chosen to be alone” Phillip is stuck dealing with the Danish inlaws of his late wife.
Bier is so much more comfortable with the dramatic stuff that the film’s grabber moments are revelations — the damage cancer has done to Ida, the liberation (she skinny dips) she wants to feel but cannot.
Brosnan does a nice bit of weathered resignation here — playing a man wounded, bitter and wound too tight. Dyrholm brings a wide-eyed wonder to Ida’s reactions to Phillip’s brusqueness, as if she can’t stand the thought of the guy but cannot help but feel lucky that he’s showing her some attention. He’s out of her league.
Their chemistry is passable, and there’s a nice subtle metaphor about the lemon orchard this villa sits in (Phillip, a fruit and vegetable importer, owns it) and what Ida does when life hands her lemons. She makes lemon pudding.
The script is full of surprises that might have delivered a farce, in different hands. But Bier keeps the humiliations, heartbreak and fear all too real. Little is played for laughs. It’s almost jarring when we take a break from the threads of the plot to enjoy some Sorrento scenery and Sorrento sunsets.
It works, after a fashion — a romance that isn’t a romantic comedy. But Bier, a wonderful director, proves that “Love” isn’t all you need to make us swoon. You need a lighter touch.

2half-star

MPAA Rating:R for brief sexuality, nudity and some language
Cast: Trine Dyrholm, Pierce Brosnan, Molly Blixt Egelind
Credits: Directed by Susanne Bier, written by Anders Thomas Jensen and Susanne Bier. A Sony Classics release.
Running time: 1:56

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Movie Preview: DeNiro, Tommy Lee and Michelle P. star in “The Family”

It’s got mobsters, DeNiro and a little Rolling Stones on the soundtrack. So naturally, Scorsese’s involved. As a producer.
Damned if Monsieur Luc Besson (“The Professional”), mostly a producer these days, doesn’t step back behind the camera for this witness protection comedy that seems to tap into the “Lillyhammer” vibe.
Pfeiffer, Tommy Lee Jones, Dianna Agron, mob family in hiding in rural France. I’m laughing already. “The Family” opens this fall.

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Keira to join Cumberbatch in “The Imitation Game”?

That’s the buzz from Variety. This hot Oscar-bait period piece script is about famed code-breaker/computer theorist Alan Turing, and his tragic, closeted life as a gay man at a time when “The love that dare not speak its name” was illegal in the UK.

A genius, perhaps on the level of a Newton or Einstein, and a war hero, he was persecuted and prosecuted and died far before his time.

As I said, “Oscar bait.”

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Tonight’s Screening: “This is The End”

Competing screenings this evening, a “Man of Steel” one and “This is the End.” I have other chances to catch Super-Dooper Man and I could use a laugh, so “This is the End” it is.
Franco and Rogen, McBride and Robinson, Michael Cera, Jay Baruchel, Rhianna.
And Emma Watson.
This is the international trailer to it. “This Is the End” opens next week.

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Movie Review: “The Purge”

1half-starJames DeMonaco’s “The Purge” is a bloody-minded, heavy-handed satire of life within these violent United States. It’s a horror film with the occasional visceral thrill — the fear of being hunted, the excitement of righteous violence against nameless intruders. But mostly, it’s just a clumsy lecture about who we’re becoming, haves vs have-nots, with the haves armed to the teeth.
In the not-distant future, “the New Founding Fathers” have decreed America has one night of catharsis when we can give in to our most violent impulses. Murder and mayhem abound and first responders have the night off.
Basically, you’re on your own for “The Purge.” The well-off can hunt the homeless, the “weak” and those who don’t contribute to society. Or just seek revenge. Others whom we’ll call “rich liberals” buy massive security systems and hunker down in their fortress McMansions for the night.
Ethan Hawke plays one of the latter, a salesman who’s gotten rich off selling armored security systems. Lena Headey plays his resigned-to-this-yearly “Purge” wife. Max Burkholder and Adelaide Kane play the sensitive son and hormonal daughter whose trusting natures would thwart any security system.
Because Zoe (Kane) has let the boyfriend Dad forbids her to see into the house, and Charlie rescues a homeless vet (Edwin Hodge), saving him from a hunt. And that brings vengeful preppies (led by Rhys Wakefield) who were stalking him down on their happy home.
DeMonaco seems awfully concerned that we won’t “get” his points here, so there’s repetitious 24 hour TV coverage about how it is time to “release the beast and purge our American streets,” debates over the morality of it, how “culling” society lowers unemployment and helps the economy.
You can see what Hawke and Headey saw in this, the chance to make a statement for compassion and humanity in the face of the social Darwinism –an America remade in the NRA and Tea Party’s image — that might create a night like this.
“We can afford protection. We’ll be fine.”
But lapses in logic and characterization trip it up at every turn. This Charlie kid seems to have a death wish, and a sense of removal from his supposed compassion that undercuts his supposed motivation.The boyfriend is underdeveloped. The family is armed, but their “plan” of defense laughably involves splitting up and searching for the wounded homeless man in their pitch-black house.
The reliably believable Hawke has had good luck in horror in recent years (“Sinister”,”Daybreakers) but his instincts fail him here. “The Purge” is an 85 minute chore that tediously plays like a real-time recreation of the night of The Purge — all twelve hours of it.
The Purge
MPAA Rating:  R for strong disturbing violence and some language
Cast: Ethan Hawke, Lena Headey, Max Burkholder, Edwin Hodge, Rhys Wakefield
Credits: Written and directed by James DeMonaco. A Universal release.
Running time: 1:25
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Movie Preview: “Closed Circuit” has Bana, Hall and Stiles and a terror trial in camera-covered London

A terrorist act on the most video-wired streets in the world — London. Ex-lover lawyers (Eric Bana and Rebecca Hall) are defending the man accused on carrying out the terrorism.
And Julia Stiles is a New York Times reporter covering them. And the trial.
This late late August movie feels like the first “fall” picture, in that “Constant Gardener” release slot. Let’s hope it’s as good as that one.

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“After Earth” and the Scientology angle — Is it there?

The Hollywood Reporter found a former Scientologist willing to sit through “After Earth” and focus on its Sci-Tol talking points, evidence of Will Smith’s conversion and efforts to promote the group through the film.

A few snippets of dialogue — about “fear” and “present moment” connect it to the Travolta/Cruise religion that L. Ron Hubbard built out of his “self-help” book, “Dianetics.” But a couple of the points made there seem like stretches. “Volcanoes?” Really.

This isn’t “Battlefield Earth,” though it shares its setting with that epic fiasco.

The movie is bad on its own terms (and it is certainly much better than “Battlefield Earth”) and Smith and Son’s efforts to promote it have failed partly because they come off as cocky, rich nitwits with little grasp of science fiction, real people’s daily reality and the like. And they’ve managed to dodge the whole Daddy Buying His Son Another Screen Credit angle.

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Tonight’s screening: “The Purge”

Ethan Hawke’s had some good luck with horror, and “The Purge” has a hint of that. America, legalizing one day a year where there are no laws — and criminal impulses reign — a family barricaded against the mob, but some of that mob breaking in and terrorizing them.
“The Purge” looks iffy, but as parables go, it might work. It opens Friday.

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“Oblivion” opens HUGE…in Japan

However diminished his status among domestic movie audiences, Tom Cruise is still a very bankable box office star in much of the world. Especially, apparently, in Japan.

His latest, “Oblivion,” opened well enough but faded before reaching $100 million in the US. It’s earned over $275 million worldwide, and Japan will only add to that, according to THR.

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