Movie Nation

The mysterious and cryptic early talk about Disney’s “Tomorrowland” (May 22) is that it connected with early ideas that Walt Disney himself had — notes — about the Tomorrowland part  of the theme parks, and a possible movie tied into them.

The third action-packed trailer to the most anticipated movie of the summer suggests something more conventional — effects, action beats, George Clooney yelling “Come on,” and cracking “You ain’t seen NOTHIN’ yet.” But it still seems to connect with Walt’s expansive, fanciful 1950s idea of what the sci-fi “future” would look like.

It looks like fun. And maybe it means they’ll finally update and spend the money on that concept of their parks, using the movie as an excuse. I hope so.

But the movie? It looks like a trip.

Every girl, Disney has always told us, wants that slipper to fit. And with a new generation indoctrinated thanks to the latest “Cinderella,” that taste for tiaras isn’t going away any time soon.
Nor, it would appear, is the story — put-upon poor girl gets a makeover to battle her wicked stepmother and even more wicked stepsisters, a build-up for the big “ball,” the lost shoe that gives away the game.
“After the Ball” is a frothy little nothing of a Canadian updating of “Cinderella” set in the Canadian fashion industry. But the shoe doesn’t quite fit in this slow-footed farce, a vehicle for pretty blonde Portia Doubleday (“Youth in Revolt”).
Kate (Doubleday) is a new graduate from New York fashion school forced to work for her father’s affordable (OK, “cut-rate knockoffs”) Canadian clothing line. Because Prada turns up its nose at her.
“With your pedigree, who would hire you?”
But to succeed at Kassell Clothes she has to get past her scheming stepmom (Lauren Holly) and “her two devil spawn” stepsisters (Natalie Krill, Anna Hopkins, not bad), who are untrained “designers” set up to be Kate’s bosses.
“If I wanted you to have an idea, I’d give it to you.”
Kate? She’s been set up to fail. Which she does. But her vintage clothes-dealing godmother (Mimi Kuzyk) and godmom’s theatrical gay pal (Carlo Rota) conspire to send pushover Kate back into the company as hard-driving diva designer Nate Ganymede. She will become a he, “You know, like in like ‘Twelfth Night'” her not-fairy godmother exclaims.
Daniel (Marc-Andre Grondin) is the colorless shoe designer Kate is sweet on, but who can never know who Nate really is if  Nate is to use Kate’s designs to “save the company.”
But everything will become clear “After the Ball.”
The trouble with material this worn is the same that Kenneth Branagh ran into with “Cinderella.” We know what’s coming, so just get on with it.
Doubleday does her best Amanda Bynes but is not remotely convincing as a guy. But the pushy swagger she throws out there as Nate is kind of fun.
The stepsisters are stupidly vile even if the assorted gay men folded into this fashion industry tale never are more than stereotypes with a single funny line between them.
Montreal isn’t showcased in the locations, Chris Noth, as the dad, has nothing to play save for the chic glasses his clueless (and callous) character wears. Holly (“Jerry Maguire”) is still the queen of mean.
But none of it adds up to anything we haven’t seen before and don’t see coming long before this Cinderella’s shoe drops. Literally.

MPAA Rating: Unrated, with no profanity and a little cross-dressing.

Cast: Portia Doubleday, Chris Noth, Lauren Holly, Marc-André Grondin, Mimi Kuzyk
Credits: Directed by  Sean Garrity, written by  Kate Melville, Jason Sherman. A Freestyle release.

Running time: 1:40

“Adult Beginners” started life as a showcase for comic writer-actor Nick Kroll, who concocted the story. But any notion that the star of “Kroll Show” might reinvent himself with this film goes out the window when first we meet Jake, a fast-talking entrepreneur who has hustled every friend he has, and then some, into investing in “Mind’s I,” a Google Glass knockoff that failed.
Jake is just another version of Kroll’s recurring character on TV’s “Parks & Recreation,” whose nickname is a feminine hygeine product.
He’s self-absorbed enough to think fleeing to visit his pregnant, mother-of-a-toddler sister (Rose Byrne) unannounced won’t be an inconvenience.
“I need you to make me feel better,” a Summer’s Eve-by-any-other-name whines.
Since he’s broke, his too-understanding brother-in-law (Bobby Cannavale, playing another contractor) suggests he and Justine hire Jake a babysitter — their “manny” nanny.
So make way for the potty chair jokes, the hyperactive “devil child” wisecracks, substituting a suitcase with wheels when you can’t figure out how to work the stroller and flirt-with-the-other-nanny-in-the-park (Paula Garces) scenes as this narcissist figures out it’s not all about him.
Kroll is fitfully amusing, and packaged with Joel McHale as his best “bro” and mirror image in the city is good for laughs. But what works best is the extended family dynamic. Byrne and Kroll have a nice estranged sibling chemistry, not up to “The Skeleton Twins,” but in that ballpark.
Where are his glasses? She hasn’t seen Jake in years.
“Lasik.”
“Your eyes look kind of buggy.”
“Yeah, that’s the look I was going for.”
The second act complications are predictable, the third act revelations mild. Director Ross Katz, a producer with a couple of Sofia Coppola pictures, including “Lost in Translation,” in his credits, does little to disguise just how on the nose this script is.
But Kroll knows how to make bug-eyed feminine hygeine product characters funny, and since Byrne, Cannavale, Garces and McHale accept that about him, so do we.

MPAA Rating: R for language and some drug use.

Cast: Rose Byrne, Nick Kroll, Bobby Cannavale, Paula Garces, Joel McHale
Credits: Directed by Ross Katz, written by Jeff Cox and Liz Flahive. A Radius/TWC release.

Running time: 1:30

The French kidnapping thriller “24 Days” is a true story, an opening narration tells us (in French, with English subtitles), “all too true.”
It’s about the disappearance of a handsome young womanizer, nabbed by men in cahoots with a temptress who winked in his direction. It’s about police efforts to “manage” the kidnappers, to get the family on the same page — seizing the initiative in a way the improves the odds for getting their son back alive.
And it’s about this Jewish family’s inability to get the cops to let them go public and the police refusal to treat this as a hate crime.
Ilan (Syrus Shahidi) may have a girlfriend and a wandering eye. But he’d never be late for Shabbat. His sister (Alka Balbir) is the wrong one to call with the ransom demands. She goes into hysterics. Narrator Mom (Zabou Breitman) seems in shock. They’re not a rich family.
Her ex-husband (Pascal Elbé) may be poker-faced, but when he gets involved, he picks up the give-away buzzwords from the threatening, insulting calls. The family is Jewish, so of course “you have money.” If not, “ask the Jewish community.” The odd Islamic chant pops up. When the police get involved, they trace the calls — to the Ivory Coast.
But the police, led by Commandant Delcour (Jacques Gamblin) treat this like any other kidnapping. Their record is unblemished in these cases. They will get Ilan out and catch the perpetrators.
Any insults from the hothead leader of the kidnappers (Tony Harrisson? “Hang up.” There’s a police psychologist and others urging the family to “get the upper hand” in this “game.”
“We must keep to our strategy!”
Meanwhile, Ilan suffers and his family grieves that they will never see him again, because Islamists kidnapped him for being Jewish.
“24 Days” isn’t the tightest of thrillers, threading police work through the story of a family simmering with outrage at having their tragedy compounded by police insensitivity.
The performances are engrossing — especially Harrisson as the short-tempered African Muslim. But veteran director Alexandre Arcady (“Last Summer in Tangiers,” “Hold Up”) seems more concerned with the message and moral lesson here than with suspense. The result is a first act so short on details that we lose track of the victim, a second act that drags through kidnapping management by cops only to have the action pick up nicely in the overlong finale.
Perhaps the title lulled him into the lack of urgency for 90 of the 110 minutes of “24 Days.” Days are wasted by the cops, and precious screen minutes are wasted by the director before even attempting to ratchet up the suspense and tension.

MPAA Rating: unrated, with violence, adult situations
Cast: Zabou Breitman, Pascal Elbé, Jacques Gamblin, Syrus Shahidi
Credits: Directed by Alexandre Arcady, written by Alexandre Arcady, Emilie Frèche and Antoine Lacomblez. A Menemsha Films release.

Running time: 1:50

The stakes shouldn’t feel as low as they do in “The Forger.” An art theft thriller about stealing one of the most famous paintings by Claude Monet should have been a suspenseful peek into the criminal art forger’s craft, a Boston underworld character study built around accomplished stars such as John Travolta in the title role, Christopher Plummer, Tye Sheridan and Jennifer Ehle in support.
But it has none of the above, “craft” being the most telling omission.
No matter how well-preserved he seems here, Travolta feels out of his depth as a forger who buys his way out of prison by promising a favor to the thug (Anson Mount) who put him there. Travolta is years past being able to pull off the hard-man-of-the-yard routine, punching his way out of encounters with his past.
Keegan (Mount) wants “The Forger,” Ray Cutter, to knock off “La Promenade: Woman with Parasol,” by Monet, to settle a debt. Ray’s old man (Christopher Plummer) responds to that with a torrent of profanity. That’s his response to everything. Cute.
The reason Ray had to get out early? A cancer-stricken son (Sheridan, of “Mud” and “Joe”). The cop on his case? Agent Paisley (Abigail Spencer).
Ray has to study Monet, buy an aged canvas and fake the paints and painting style of Claude Monet, figure out the heist, deal with the old man’s grousing, Keegan’s threats and the kid’s “make a wish” wishes — like wanting to meet his mother, who turns out to be a junky played by Ehle (“Zero Dark 30,” “Pride & Prejudice”).
Ray? His wish is to “move to Tahiti and live like Gauguin.”
Not much we see here puts him on that path or makes us invest in his dilemma. Travolta summons up moments of Vinnie Barbarino in searching for a Boston accent, few others in the cast try even that hard.
The kid’s “wishes” aren’t touching, the heist is blase, the painting mimicry is given such short shrift that it involves little more than Travolta tilting his head and squinting.  We always knew his laziness was going to catch up with him.
And the finale is the least believable bit of all.
The screenwriter of “The Call” was behind this, so the lack of suspense probably isn’t his doing. The director is from British TV, which is usually a better training ground for features than this artless time-killer suggests.
Among that promising cast, only Plummer and Ehle give us anything more than paint-by-numbers turns. Travolta? He’s a pale imitation of himself, as ill-fitted to the role as that odd prison soul patch he sports under Ray’s carefully streaked mop of hair.

MPAA Rating: R for language and some violence

Cast: John Travolta, Christopher Plummer, Abigail Spencer, Jennifer Ehle, Tye Sheridan, Anson Mount
Credits: Directed by Philip Martin, written by Richard D’Ovidio. A Lionsgate release.

Running time: 1:35

Hello Paul Blart, our old friend. We’ve come to laugh at you again.
At the fat jokes that just keep coming. Giggles certain we will be receiving.
But the theater just echoes with the sounds…of silence.
Sorry, when a movie falls as flat, when every joke and gag has a “just grind through it” quality, the mind wanders.
“Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” is even more of a kids’ movie than the 2009 original — slapstick and sight gags built around a clueless plump lump. It’s harmless, and Kevin James tries to find a place among the cinema’s pratfall kings.
“They say overweight people use humor to achieve affection,” one wag cracks during the film. So it is with James. Watch the way he takes a tumble, sells a creaky gag that has Blart bouncing off a store window or overdoes his cop slide across the slick floor. Check out the effort he put into making Blart only graceful on a Segway, his mall patrol vehicle of choice.
It’s a shame none of this stuff ever rises above a slight grin.
Blart has married and had a quicky divorce since “Mall Cop 1,” and here he and zaftig daughter Maya (Raini Rodriguez of TV’s “Austin & Ally”) visit Las Vegas for a “fake cop” convention at the Wynn Resort.
Neal McDonough is the villain leading a team of crooks in an attempted art heist. Blart, mocked and underestimated by crooks and his peers, springs into action after Maya and this cute valet she’s flirting with are taken hostage.
The lines, many written by James himself, flop.
“Security is a mission, not an INTERmission.”
James tries too hard. He mugs like A & W, punches bad dialogue as if he’s never told a joke and strains to make the pratfalls land. The studio didn’t spend a dime on giving him anybody funny to play off of — Ana Gasteyer and Loni Love and Gary Valentine? Nothing funny to say or do, here.
Sequels are cynical by nature, but this one, with its casino product placement ad and director Andy Fickman apparently checking his text messages instead of trying punch the limp gags into shape, is  purely a paycheck. James may not deserve better, but the kids they’re pitching this to do.

MPAA Rating: PG for some violence

Cast: Kevin James, Raini Rodriguez, Neal McDonough
Credits: Directed by Andy Fickman, written by Kevin James and Nick Bakay. A Sony/Columbia release.

Running time: 1:34

“Unfriended” is nothing to look at — just a notebook computer screen, pages folded into pages of a teenager’s night of instant messaging, video chatting, Google searching, music streaming, Youtube watching and Facebooking.
A tale told in real time, it’s pretty uncinematic.
But what it has is a great gimmick, a play on the meme “The Internet is Forever.” What if every digital indiscretion a group of Fresno high schoolers’ ever uploaded was accessed and shoved into their faces? What if the entity assaulting them, revealing their worst moments, their lies and infidelities, was someone they knew who was cyber-bullied to death?
The logical online extension of “The Blair Witch Project,” “Paranormal Activity” and “The Ring,” “Unfriended” begins with “Laura Burns Kill Urself,” a Youtube video of a suicide. Blaire (Shelly Hennig of “Oujia”), whose computer we are seeing this through, knew Laura (Heather Sossaman).
Blaire’s multi-tasking, of course, video stripping for her boyfriend Matt (Moses Jacob Storm). They’re interrupted when several friends jump into the conversation. What are you two doing?
“Going to hell with the rest of us,” Jess (Renee Olstead of “The Secret Life of an American Teenager”). Jess is in charge of foreshadowing.
Because nobody invited them into Blaire and Matt’s supposedly private moment. And there’s a person they don’t know logged in with them. “That creeper Skype dude?” Maybe.
But she says she’s Laura Burns. And before they can all link to a “Do not answer messages from the dead!” website warning, they’re trapped online with someone-something that wants to confront them, turn them on each other and punish them.
“If you hang up,” the words blip up on an instant message, “your friends die.”
Director Levan Gabriadze has a limited field of view to work with — essentially what half a dozen computer cameras, and the occasional previously-uploaded video can see — and a limited ambition — to create “dead teenagers,” one by one. His young actors, playing cardboard cutouts (nerd, popular Romeo, oversexed blonde), emote and panic front of a camera through long takes.
It’s up to the viewer to pick out which inserted screen to watch. The menace is more implied than explicit, and the effect tends to dissipate tension. There are reasons the camera is supposed to direct your eye to a certain place, even in the ADHD era.
We can laugh at the banal/profane banter, kids barking at their peers for not knowing “how the email works” when they can’t figure out how to forward a Gmail.
But we don’t really feel for anybody, including the original victim, whose cyber-bullying originated in a humiliating video that begins with her drunkenly threatening somebody at a party.
The subtext — beware what privacy you give up when you post, and don’t IM with strangers — is familiar, but nothing remotely as biting and poignant as the sex-can-kill-you-and-make-you-a-killer  message of the superior and just as cheap, “It Follows.”
All we’re really in the end is the gimmick and an appreciation for how cleverly it comes off. And a reminder to not “answer messages from the dead.”

MPAA Rating: R for violent content, pervasive language, some sexuality, and drug and alcohol use – all involving teens

Cast: Shelley Hennig, Heather Sossaman, Moses Jacob Storm, Jacob Wysocki,  Will Peltz, Renee Olstead, Courtney Halverson
Credits: Directed by Levan Gabriadze, written by Nelson Greaves. A Universal release.

Running time: 1:21