In “Panda Plan,” Jackie Chan finally remembers that there’s nothing sadder and more boring than an aged action star who turns to endless gunplay in his fragile, creaky-joints dotage. It’s a rough and tumble martial arts comedy of the sort the cinema’s greatest martial arts clown used to turn out a couple of times a year back in the ’80s and ’90s.
Daffy to the point of kid-friendly — remember, he did a kids’ cartoon series — it’s lighthearted fun with little of the grim seriousness and unsubtle People’s Republican messaging of his recent films. Because this time, Jackie Chan plays Jackie Chan.
We meet the action star on a set, stirring up the mayhem with tumbles, punches and a hail of bullets. The moment the director finally yells “Cut” — after a blast of blood-squibs have all but assured us of the hero’s on-camera demise — Jackie’s goofy assistant (Xiang Wei) shuts down any talk of “another take” (in English and Mandarin, with subtitles).
He may not look it, thanks to makeup, hair dye and flattering editing, but Jackie Chan is 70 years old. He famed on-set accidents don’t make the outtakes the way they used to in the closing credits of his Hong Kong films. Now they make the news, as grandpa can’t risk serious injury any more.
David the assistant reads off a calendar of events, and Jackie blows off appearances at festivals and the like. He’s already got his honorary Oscar, after all. But when the Noah Zoo, an island holding the world’s rarest panda baby, invites him to come adopt it, he’s down.
Who doesn’t love pandas? Certainly not the Arab potentate who decides he must have the Big Babe.
That’s how Jackie finds himself at the zoo, smiling and scarfing ice cream with the staff, including the “panda nanny” Xiaozhu (Ce Shi). They’re all gaga over meeting Jackie Chan.
Heck, even that mobile assault ship full of Western, Eastern and African mercenaries on its way to snatch the panda has its share of fanboys on-board.
“Oh my GOD, he’s just like in his MOVIES!”
Jackie, hapless David and fearful panda nanny have to trick and fight their way through muscular minions to save the baby (CGI) panda from Persian Gulf imprisonment.
Chan’s best gags were always the punches he ducked, the deaths he cheated. There are laugh out loud bits scattered all over this picture, which looks as if it was filmed on the “Jurassic Park/World” sets.
Jackie mugs for the mugs, letting them think “I’m just a filmmaker.” But we know better.
“Don’t MOVE!” he warns villains he’s gotten the drop on. “I’ve never shot a real gun before!”
It’s been dispiriting to see Chan show up in vengeful, humorless gunplay fare like “The Foreigner” and “Bleeding Steel.” So while “Panda Plan” may be one of his lesser films, he’s so engaging in it and so good at finding the laughs in the unlikely fights, escapes and one-liners you can’t help but smile as he summons up memories of the straightforward but outlandish martial arts action comedies of his heyday.
And his best message before Chinese xenophobia started showing up in his films was always the one implicit in movies like “Panda Plan.” Don’t try this at home, kids.
Rating: unrated, action violence, some of it comic, fart and poop gags
Cast: Jackie Chan, Ce Shi, Xiang Wei, Andy Friend and Temur Mamisashvili
Credits: A Well Go USA release.
Running time: 1:39




