A couple of Oscar winners, some splendid stuntwork — some by the stars themselves — and lovely London, Slovenia and (allegedly) Jersey locations recommend “The Union,” an “I Spy/My Spy” action comedy where the money is on the screen, not in the script.

It’s generic in the extreme, predictable to a laughable degree and littered with dialogue as inane and cliched as the characters and the situations.

Note to aspiring screenwriters. If ever you find yourself typing “Well, well well, what do we have here?” get a lawyer. That film school degree was a waste and you should get your money back.

The pairing-up of Oscar winner Halle Berry and Oscar nominee Mark Wahlberg pays dividends, especially in the punchy, fun but paint-by-numbers finale’s car chase, rooftop fights and Slovenian shoot outs. Most everything else is of the “almost too silly to pitch” to a studio or describe in a review variety.

Wahlberg’s a construction worker who never left Patterson, N.J., never moved beyond high-beam bridge maintenance and never stopped picking up women in his and his lifelong pals’ favorite bar.

Waking up with your former seventh grade English teacher (Dana Delaney) is par for Mike McKenna’s course. His gossipy mom (Lorraine Bracco) knows all his business before he does, as does everybody elese in their tiny world.

But even she doesn’t foresee the return of “Rox” Hall (Berry) to her dead-end son’s life. It begins with a bar pickup, a little reminiscing about the old times and listening to “Bruuuuuuce.” It ends with her injecting him and kidnapping ol’Mike for a job in London.

“The Union” is a “blue collar” spy agency of “nobodies” who “get the job done.” Oscar winner J.K. Simmons runs a crew that just got decimated by an op that went South.

They need a nobody’s nobody — someone other agencies will not know anything about — to help retrieve “the device” that will allow them to bid on the stolen “intel” from that turncoat CIA agent who died, with much of their crew, in Trieste.

Mike’s got a life, such as it is. He’s slated to be best man at a buddy’s wedding. But sure, let’s take off for a two week crash course in spycraft and on-the-job-training because Rox is sure the ex-jock, unrepentent car thief is up to it.

Alice Lee, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje and Jackie Earle Haley are other members of the surviving team. Stephen Campbell Moore plays the walking sphincter CIA boss who interferes, wondering if he’ll have to “sell one of the states to pay for this.”

“You could sell Idaho. Nobody’d miss it.”

“I’M from Idaho!”

“You think I don’t know that?”

Jessica De Gouw (TV’s “Pennyworth” and “Ladies in Black”) is the posh-accented Brit-villain running the “auction” for the stolen files.

Rox throws Mike into the action, things don’t go according to plan and they’re bouncing all over London and around Europe trying to make all this right.

The funniest bit? Mike’s first desperate getaway has him stumble onstage with the singing “Lost Boys” in a West End (London) production of “Peter Pan.”

Like a lot of the glib lines and light moments mixed-in with the mayhem, not enough is done to make such clever ideas pay off in any meaningful way.

“Entourage” veteran director Julian Farino doesn’t bring much style to this, but the action beats pop and in the finale, Wahlberg goes almost Tom Cruise in the extent we can see him actually pulling off the fighting, jumping and driving stunts.

Berry, dashing in a blonde forelock and leather jumpsuits, holds her own in these bits, too, with or without stunt doubles.

Yes, we know where this is going and who the villain is far too early, and if “good villains make good thrillers,” as Hitchcock always said, “The Union” falls a bit short in that department.

A little more Jersey and a little less Trieste might have helped. But it is what it is and cast and crew are perfectly content being nothing more than that.

Rating: PG-13, lots of violence, sexual situations

Cast: Halle Berry, Mark Wahlberg, J.K. Simmons, Dana Delaney, Mike Colter, Jessica De Gouw, Lorraine Bracco, Stephen Campbell Moore, Alice Lee and Jackie Earle Haley.

Credits: Directed by Julian Farino, scripted by Joe Barton and David Guggenheim. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:47