This low-budget kid-friendly thriller features Mel as a “retired” detective named “Old Man” something or other, summoned by tweens and teens who think something monstrous is going on this season in Martha’s Vineyard.

Lorraine Bracco and Kevin James (?) also star.

Think they really filmed this on Martha’s Vineyard? Is Mel even allowed there? Naaah, I was thinking Hilton Head, from the trees, water and terrain. But it’s even more downmarket than that. I used to sail out of Southport, N.C. Cute and quaint. Why make the setting “Martha’s Vineyard?”

Oct. 2, Pastime Pictures will try to place this in a few theaters.