“The Heartbreak Agency” sets up as a German variation on the relationship expert gets his or her just deserts rom-com formula, a Teutonic “Accidental Husband,” “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days” or “Failure to Launch.”

But after a first act that fails to find a single laugh, “Die Liebeskümmerer,” as it was titled in Deutschland, takes a turn towards soggy sentiment and doesn’t really manage that, either.

Rosalie Thomass plays Maria, owner and guru of the titular “agency,” somebody getting a lot of attention and raking in the bucks for running a post break-up counseling service that’s really just an unlicensed or at least under-licensed counseling business.

Karl (Laurence Rupp) doesn’t know a thing about it until his girlfriend (Paula Schramm) tells him he “can’t love,” and that their “sex and breakfast” romance is nothing of the sort. Karl figures “somebody else make her think I’m no good for her” and plots his revenge.

Because he’s a veteran magazine writer. He smells a hatchet job, and pursues it despite warnings from the boss (Arash Marandi). Karl sees Maria’s hearts-decorated office and hears the spiel while trying not to roll his eyes.

The “counselor” is an emotionally blank single mom and labeling her a “narcissistic ice queen” in an online profile is like shooting “fisch” in a barrel. But that gets Karl fired, and only by accepting therapy from Maria and her group counseling sessions and retreats and will he ever write in this town again.

Others in treatment include forlorn and over 40 Sibylle (Denise M’Baye) and ditched-and-won’t-accept it Turgay (Özgür Karadeniz), both of whom get Karl’s glib “advice” on their problems, which they take as seriously as counselor Maria’s.

None of this plays as amusing, and I should add that none of the films whose formula this movie seems inspired by worked all that well, either. Karl has a gay roomie (Jeffrey Hoffmann), for those collecting tired tropes in rom-coms.

Which is why Karl has to see Maria’s soft side, Maria has to see his tenderness and how good he is with her tween daughter because that’s where all this was always going, laughs or no laughs.

German comedies are an acquired taste, and some are so dry you can’t pick up on the fact that they’re supposed to be funny right away. Even by that bending-over-backwards criteria, even if comedy isn’t the main goal here, “The Heartbreak Agency” disappoints.

Stock characters in generic group therapy “sharing” sessions, a story arc as obvious as that big metal ring hanging over St. Louis and generally flat performances aren’t rescued by a Bangles musical running gag (“Eternal Flame”) or anything that points us to a happy ending that wouldn’t satisfy in Hollywood, Hollywood, Florida or Hamburg.

Rating: TV-14, sexual situations, profanity

Cast: Rosalie Thomass, Laurence Rupp, Jeffrey Hoffmann, Özgür Karadeniz, Arash Marandi and Denise M’Baye

Credits: Directed by Shirel Peleg, scripted by Antonia Rothe-Liermann and Malte Welding, based on the book by Elena-Katharina Sohn. A Netflix release.

Running time: 1:36