“Miss Shampoo” is an unhappy blend of goofy comedy, wish-fulfillment fantasy and bloody violence, a lumbering farce that never quite finds the sweet spot in any of the genres it mashes up.

It opens with violence, ends with violence, and then shoves in maybe the worst cop-out to that violence I’ve seen in this decade to make the finale fit into the “action romantic comedy” box Taiwanese writer-director Giddens Ko contrives for it.

A mob hit done the Thai gang way — with machetes and knives — leaves a gang boss dead and his top lieutenant, Tai (Daniel Hong) bloodied, staggering into a failing beauty shop.

That’s where dizzy Fen (Vivian Sung) cleans up after hours, and chatters away to herself as she practices hairstyling on a wigged dummy. When the hired Thai hitmen storm in, she hides hunky Tai. His escape ensured, he leaves her a tip.

But that’s not the end of it. After the post-murder mob leader meet-up-at-the-funeral (complete with corrupt police chief), it is decided that Tai take over this particular gang. But as soon as he recovers enough, he drags his “brothers” — Bryan, Fishy and Long Legs (Wei-min Ying, Emerson Tsai and Kai Ko) — bearing flowers, to try and pay “shop assistant” (“a fancyt name for ‘hair washer'”) Fen back.

Her colleagues and customers may cower. Fen is too brassy and cute, or too dim to be afraid.

“You can call me for ANYthing,” Tai offers. “And why would I need YOU for anything,” she counters?

Fine. He’ll take a haircut. No, it’s got to be from Fen. Make me look like “Jay Chou,” he advises. Being inexperienced, she gives him a ’60s Beatles/Brian Jones pageboy.

It must be love, because Tai keeps coming back, even though she snaps “We don’t provide receipts or accept BAD REVIEWS.”

Eventually, like a blind pig hunting for acorns, she hits on a hairstyle that works. Then another. Soon, all the mobsters want Miss Fen so that they can look like cool Tai.

Tai? He really wants her. But she has a disrespectful “college student” beau, as well as a crush on a Taiwanese major leaguer (Bruce Hung). And her parents (Hsin-Ling Chung, Chung-Heng Chu) can’t quite reconcile themselves to her dating a gangster.

The comedy comes from some of the banter, which can be quick and cute at times, from the dopey gang’s insistence on giving themselves cooler nicknames and from the sheepish but frankly vulgar way Tai comes on to Fen, and her parents.

“The rest of my life,” he promises, in front of Fen and family (in Mandarin with subtitles, or dubbed), “I’m only doing you.”

That too subtle? “My (slang for penis) belongs to you.”

Their first sexual encounter is played for laughs, too.

But there’s also this serious business of gang violence, tracking down the people who killed the old boss, figuring out who put them up to it.

The meandering, stumbling and repetitious movie cuts between batting cage “dates” and slice-and-chop-fingers-off fights and “enforcement.

It all could work, maybe in more tightly-told tale. But not here. For all this running time, there’s little that suggests a love connection, despite the stars having plenty of chemistry.

The jokes are often strained, the bloody bits just jarring.

If the teetering middle acts don’t chase you away, the cop-out finale will have you grinding your teeth over the two hours you just wasted with “Miss Shampoo.”

Rating: TV-MA, graphic violence, sexual situations, profanity

Cast: Vivian Sung, Daniel Hong, Kai Ko, Emerson Tsai, Wei-min Ying, Hsin-Ling Chung, Chung-Heng Chu and Bruce Hung

Credits: Scripted and directed by Giddens Ko. A Netflix release.

Running time: 2:00