If nothing else, streaming has provided a welcoming home to a lot of holiday films in recent years, with movies ranging from bad to Hall Mark Christmas romance mediocre typically skipping theaters altogether.

Cramming these seasonal-shelf-life pictures in theaters makes less sense with consumers “consuming” this tinseled content at home mostly, anyway.

Eddie Murphy‘s “Candy Cane Lane” isn’t good enough to make its way in the multiplex. It’s of a “Deck the Halls,” “Christmas with the Cranks” quality, not even aspiring to “Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey” or “Spirited” time-killer status.

Amazon Prime is the perfect landing spot for this MGM-produced bore over the holidays, kiddie slapstick with scatterings of (director) Reginald Hudlin rudeness, lots of effects and not a single drop of heart.

It’s a supernatural “magic of Christmas” riff on El Segundo, California’s famous (actually a real thing) competitive holiday decorating mania.

Murphy plays a newly-laid-off plastic salesman who wants to go all-in on decorations and finally beat his obnoxious neighbor’s (Ken Marino) store-bought inflatables display, which, with added live-music touches, has won four years running.

Murphy’s Chris Carver makes wooden decorations by hand, even if his two older kids have outgrown all this and the youngest can’t help with the decorating — because he won’t let her.

But he does take the almost-tween (Madison Thomas) shopping for new ideas, which is how they stumble into the freeway underspass “pop up” store Kringle’s. Little do they know that Dad’s about to sign away his immortal soul for that one flashy “12 Days of Christmas” tree sure to win the battle of Candy Cane Lane.

His Kringles-bought tree might be a winner, but he should be getting a bad vibe from the “ignore the fine print” sales elf, Pepper (Jillian Bell, kind of funny).

She asks him “the true meaning of Christmas,” and he rattles off assorted kids’ TV special bromides, “Rudolph” included.

“Unless you wanna go with the religious angle,” he adds.

Pepper, whose real name ought to be “Satan’s Little Helper,” blurts out “Jesus Christ, NO.”

That’s kind of the tone here — rude, “inflatable doll” jokes, “Elfing kidding me” and “Yolking kidding me” (in reference to a chase involving egg-bombing geese). Fake swearing, making Santa a bit hipper (David Alan Grier), giving roles to riffing comics like Chris Redd, that’s what Murphy and his sometime collaborator Hudlin go for.

The “Jesus Christ” crack is about as offensive as it gets. But the other stuff isn’t particularly funny. The story, which encompasses the search for the gold rings from the song “The 12 Days of Christmas,” and coping with live versions of a malevolent “maid a milking, the (armed) “lords a leaping,” and French hens making mischief “as only the French can,” is — like the song itself — interminable.

Chris and the Carvers get help from others who have been tricked into signing their lives away by the evil Pepper, men and women throughout post-Dickens history now trapped as speaking, moving figurines in Pepper’s vast Christmas Village model.

Nick Offerman and Chris Redd voice a couple of those animated inaction figures.

Complications include a teen daughter (Genneya Walton) who wants to run track for Notre Dame, and not her parents’ alma mater USC, and a son (Thaddeus J. Mixson) who plays tuba in the school band and spends all that time he should be studying and doing math homework mixing music.

Eddie sings along to “This Christmas” and treads water in this the way he has in many a comedy that wasn’t worth his trouble. Bell sings a little “Jingle Bells.” Tracee Ellis Ross doesn’t sing, playing Mom as a woman trying to get ahead as a “distribution center” that could be Amazon.

These movies are rarely much more than background noise for holiday decorating/entertaining/cooking, or TV babysitting for parents trying to manage all that grownup stuff.

“Candy Cane Lane” doesn’t offer much even for those being baby-sat, either.

Rating: PG, rude humor, innuendo

Cast: Eddie Murphy, Tracee Ellis Ross, Jillian Bell, Genneya Walton, Thaddeus J. Mixson, Madison Thomas and David Alan Grier, with the voices of Chris Redd, and Nick Offerman.

Credits: Directed by Reginald Hudlin, scripted by Kelly Younger. An MGM release on Amazon Prime.

Running time: 1:59